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three

***

Rolling over onto my side, I let my eyes wander out the window from my position on the floor. The bed had felt too luxurious for me, and I’d pulled everything onto the floor, laying it all out into my own nest-like pile until I felt comfortable. Looking out the window had become a habit of mine. Always I would gaze out towards the sky, fixated on the Moon and the stars and feeling far happier during those times than when I would be slaving away for my so-called family.

Despite being made to feel as insignificant as dust, when I looked to the heavens, I would remember that our planet we call home is insignificant in the whole scheme of the universe. That way, I could pretend that everyone is just as insignificant as me, and that whatever they do will never affect the way time turns.

I hear footsteps in the hallway and quickly buried my face amongst the softness, feigning sleep. I hear the door creak open, and my heart quickens. I think he’s checking on me and I listen to his quiet breaths. “Are you asleep?” he whispered. I wait, wondering why he’d ask. “Do you want to see the stars?”

Slowly sitting up, I turn towards him, “How did you know I’m awake?” I ask quietly. He chuckles softly, coming inside the room and crouches down beside me. Pulling the blanket around my shoulders, I squint, trying to see his face in the dark.

“I didn’t. I was just curious and called out to you,” he replied. “So… do you want to see them?”

I nod and he helps me get up, letting me keep the blanket around me and leads the way out of his small apartment. After locking the door, he beckons me towards the staircase and we make it all the way up to the rooftop. There are already some rusty wrought iron chairs and a table placed in a corner, a large umbrella in the centre of the table to provide shade and some withering pot plants scattered around. We sit in the middle of the rooftop and I wrap the blanket around me more comfortably.

All the objects in the sky feel so close that I could almost reach out and pluck them with my fingers, tucking them away into my pockets as a keepsake, and I do just that, my palm outstretched and letting the moonlight stream between my fingers. The night is peaceful and quiet because we’re located on the outskirts of town; no cars, no city lights, no interference. There’s only the faraway sound of waves crashing onto the shore and crickets chirping. It feels like we’d gone out camping.

Minseok is lying down on the hard concrete, hands folded behind his head and it looked like the universe was in his eyes the way they glittered. I couldn’t help staring at his profile, wrapped up in the way his pale skin almost glowed like he was an angel who had come down from heaven. I tuck my hand back inside the folds of cloth and turn back to gaze out into the darkness, thinking only about him and tucking all the darkness of my soul into the back of my mind.

The rustle of fabric to my side catches my attention but I don’t turn, eyes fixated on the Moon. “I-I probably shouldn’t ask,” he began, “But are you feeling okay after these two weeks with me? I’m just wondering if you wanted to talk, since I haven’t heard you speak more than a few sentences spanning the time you’ve been here.” His breathing fills the silence for two beats of my heart. “I can’t say I’ll understand everyt