XV

Nothing lasts forever and Irene should know that best.

When she sees her own mosaic face on big-name newspapers and gossip magazines, Irene realizes with a heavy heart that things have fallen apart. Her face has been blurred out but it doesn’t take a genius to recognize her on the front cover of several prints. The biggest photos were taken at the hospital and at the block of Irene’s apartment, with Wendy holding her waist—an undeniable act of intimacy.

It’s supposed to be mortifying; this invasion of privacy, but Irene can’t find it in herself to feel angry or depressed. It didn’t come as a shock at all. In fact, she kind of expected such things to happen because S Hotel has been under a lot of spotlight recently, especially with the change in presidency. There is simply a dull emptiness growing within her, and she feels more and more like a hollow body, not dead or alive, but merely existing. The knowledge that she can no longer have blissful days with Wendy bears down on her and weighs her down immensely.

She lets go of the papers in her hands and allow them to fall to the ground in defeat. Burying her face in her hands, she sighs, dreading what is to come. She is aware that her quiet life will never be the same again. She supposedly prepared for this, but no amount of preparation can possibly ready her for the life of being Wendy’s lover. (It makes her question if loving Wendy was the right decision to make, and if loving Wendy was even a choice she could make in the first place.)

Wendy will soon call her. Her colleagues will then bombard the chat group with questions, thirsty for gossip. Camera flashes will blind her and people will know her face and call her names.

But for now, there is nothing but silence. Her alarm clock ticks away and the fan continues whirling. Irene tries to relish in the temporary serenity but she just cannot bring herself to do so.

Somehow, the calm before the storm is more frightening than the storm itself.

///

When Irene reports to work, she expects someone to throw eggs at her or drown her in water, which is why she finds it terribly weird when people are congratulating her regarding her dating news. Her colleagues buzz around her excitedly, asking her about how it feels to be dating the CEO of the hotel she is currently working in. Smiles are thrown at her from every direction and it feels strange when even people who have never associated themselves with her start talking to her like old friends. For someone of her height, it feels like everyone is taking away all the air and she can hardly breathe.

“Guys, can I have some space? I need to change too,” she voices, barely being heard.

There’s a brief silence which feels unnatural to Irene but it fades away just as quickly.

“Come on, guys, Irene unnie needs her space. Let’s go.”

Upon hearing this, the herd of humans filter out of the staff locker room, murmuring congratulations still as they pass by Irene. When the room is empty save for her, she sighs in relief, feeling the tension leave her body. The noise was too loud, too much. Even so, tt seems like everything is alright, and Irene manages a smile. Were Wendy and her worried for nothing?

As she gets up from the bench, she feels the uniform constraining her and briefly wonders if she got fat because she has never felt this restrained before. She moves towards a mirror, looking at her reflection. There are creases all over her uniform blouse and she sighs, feeling the rigidity of the uniform when she stretches. She would have to bring this set home to iron. At least she still has another set in her locker.

Her phone in her skirt pocket vibrates and she pulls it out, grinning when she sees a caller ID.

“Seungwan?” she greets cheerfully.

Wendy sounds too concerned and too panicky, “Joohyun, is everything alright? Did anything bad happen?”

“Nope, everything’s fine.”

“Are you sure? I don’t know how things are between the staffs.”

“They were congratulating me. It’s all okay. I think we worried too much.”

“I’m still worried…”

Wendy sounds overly vexed and troubled so Irene chooses to direct the conversation to Seulgi instead to put the CEO’s mind at ease, “I’m more worried about Seulgi. She’s not at work today and she hasn’t called me back.”

“I’ll ask Sooyoung, don’t worry.”

“Text me when she answers. Are you doing okay?”

“I’m the boss so there’s no one to bother me. I’m alright.”

Irene let out a sigh of relief, “That’s good, then.”

“I’d love to drive you back home but I’m still caught up with lots of paperwork. Take a taxi home please? I feel insecure whenever you’re all alone on the streets.”

“Just this once, since you’re so stressed up. Don’t work too late okay?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Wendy jokes.

It all feels like a dream to Irene. Everything is going too well and too perfectly so far that she’s afraid something bad might happen. Deciding to put these ominous thoughts away, she shakes her head, convincing herself that nothing would happen, she is just being paranoid.  Maybe it is a side effect of hanging out with Wendy too much, the worry and anxiety just spreads.

She shuffles to her locker, entering her pin number. It beeps and she yanks the locker open.

Things tumble to her feet with a loud thud and she jumps, yelping in surprise. As she bends down to examine the mess on the floor, she picks up a white fabric stained with black all over. It’s smudged with black everywhere and damp, like it has been soaked in dark ink. She straightens out the cloth only to realize that it is actually her spare set of uniform.

She gasps in shock, unable to control her trembling hands. Her hands drop the uniform immediately. She looks at her own hands, seeing the skin of her palm stained with dirty black as well. Clenching her fists, she swallows in fear, suddenly aware of how dry is.

As if the stained uniform isn’t enough, when Irene looks u