Chapter One : Return

 Under a baking sun I wander

around the place I call

my home from home.

Where all my worries disappear

within the arms of friendship.

The silver grey BMW cruised down the freeway, travelling South. Sehun was seated in the backseat with so much soft leather around him that he could barely hear the 389 horsepower, six liter engine that merely idled at eighty miles per hour. The car was one hundred thousand pounds worth of German engineering which, with one touch from the unsmiling chauffeur had the capability to leap forward and sneer at speed limits. The leather was smooth and cool under Sehun’s palm where he had it pressed against the seat to his thigh with the rough fabric of his jeans rubbing against his thumb in the process. The air conditioner might have been turned up a tad too much, but as usual Sehun found himself too absorbed in staring out the window to be bothered. He had his elbow propped up against the armrest with his chin resting on an upturned palm as his orbs lazily fell from place to place while the car sped by. Despite having earned his driver's license and though money was not an issue if he ever wanted to get himself a car, the blonde was sure he would never need it. Sehun was far too accustomed to the luxury of having his chauffeur drive him – but for some flair, owning his own set of four wheels didn’t sound half bad.

Seoul, didn’t look that much different from how it did since he left five years ago.

Honestly, maybe he wouldn’t know if something really had changed.

Had it been that long?

So long that he didn’t even recall the streets they were driving through although the drive through the city should have been familiar to him.

It was strange, being back.

Sehun heaved an inaudible sigh, opting to discard any thoughts which argued against him being glad to be back. This was his home back then and it was his home now, he might have changed but the fact this was where he belonged, would never. His arm was going numb from being in the same position for too long and Sehun pulled back, almost slumping against the seat with his head tilted back against the headrest. The blonde was well aware of where they were heading, but the drive to their destination was agonizingly long. The airport was a burdensome distance away from where they were headed and the midday rush hour would be hard to come by once they reached the busier streets. His assumptions proved to be right halfway through their drive and Sehun cursed his luck more than once when the car constantly kept stopping in the chaos of vehicles – it was almost like as if the people who were walking silently mocked him with how effortlessly they navigated their way through the crowd.

When the car stopped for the umpteeth time that afternoon Sehun was just about ready to go the rest of the way on foot – if only he wasn’t so exhausted. Sehun wasn’t the most patient person in the world and he clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth in slight frustration before turning his head to the left with a small frown to stare out the window again since it was the only way he could occupy himself at the moment. He raised both his brows and his eyes widened for a fraction of a second in slight recognition though, when his orbs fell on a familiar store sign on the other side of the street. “That store..” Sehun muttered to himself, sounding almost amazed.

“Hyung, I’m going to the comic book store!” Sehun chimed, poking his head through the classroom door with a grin while Baekhyun was busy collecting his things for his next class.

“Wait up!” Baekhyun called after Sehun who was already sprinting down the hallway. The brunette was still stuffing a few things into his backpack while he chased after Sehun – hot on his heels.

The three of them hadn’t really made a habit of skipping classes often but sometimes the urge to keep themselves far away from either calculus or history proved to be much too tempting. He was the first one who brought up the idea and the first to act on it, Baekhyun was the quickest to follow along with a not so confident Kyungsoo close behind them, sneaking away from school at just the right moment when the gate guard would go for his lunch break before making a run for it. With how fast they dashed at times, Sehun was pretty damn sure the three of them would make fine gold medalist runners. It was an idea just as preposterous as most, maybe because Baekhyun had been part of the student council – as a matter of fact, he was the vice president or maybe because Sehun’s parents were well - Sehun’s parents and as for Kyungsoo, he spoke for himself.

“You guys, what if they figure out we skipped?” Kyungsoo would question while constantly looking over his shoulder almost like as if he was expecting the gate guard to round the corner any second, the fear evident in his tone.

“The student guidebook says we’d probably get a week's suspension aside from the ten pages worth of an individual apology letter we'd have to write” Baekhyun responded, smirking broadly with both hands on his knees as he gathered himself some air.

“Spoken like a true president” He would add himself with a snicker before exchanging a low five with Baekhyun, the both of them mirroring the toothy grins on each others faces while Kyungsoo rubbed his temple.

“What am I going to do with you two?”

Kyungsoo being the angel between them, tended to be a lot more apprehensive whenever it came to breaking the rules but that didn’t stop him from missing out. He had been the one to scold them occasionally, brows drawn together furiously despite the victorious little smile on his face after having followed after and caught up with them with his breathing all erratic from the run.

“Here” Baekhyun snickered, shoving a magazine into his hands. He was way too tall for his own limbs really. The suddenness of the action made Sehun fumble with his wallet and nearly drop all his money.

“I didn’t know you were into that kind of stuff” Baekhyun chirped with a small gasp though the mischievous smile on his lips conveyed an entirely different message, not a good one at that.

“Oh Sehun what are you – you, ert!” Kyungsoo squeaked, hugging the latest issue of Shokugeki No Souma close to his chest, looking up at him with a disgusted expression once his eyes fell onto what Sehun was holding as he stood next to Baekhyun.

Sehun couldn’t help but smile faintly at the memory of him being accused of being a closeted ert and how he had stood there frozen, wanting to melt into the floorboards out of sheer embarrassment, his mouth slightly agape and face flushed a bright crimson with the image of a half girl – perfectly photoshopped, all shiny and glossy on the cover of the magazine he was holding.

Sehun reflexively hid the magazine behind his back while rubbing his nape with a nervous chuckle before sputtering. “Hyung listen I’m not–” into girls, was what he wanted to say but Kyungsoo wouldn’t have any of it. The shorter male was already scolding him while Baekhyun on the other hand, clutched his sides, doubling over as he laughed into his hand. He swore Baekhyun looked like he was running short of air and the other boys eyes were tearing as well.

It had been the inside joke of the month and his two friends had about it for days on end until the two decided to spare him, when one day he nearly slammed his head onto his desk. From the store down the road there were a lot of milestones for the movie playing in his head. It was like the road was a reel of never ending memories. The arcade was still there too – the one where Baekhyun spent all his lunch money on trying to get a plushie for Kyungsoo on the crane machine.

“Baek you really don't have to–” Kyungsoo whispered, poking Baekhyun’s shoulder after the brunettes twenty-eighth consecutive loss though his eyes never left the penguin plush in the machine, it was evident just how much he wanted it.

“I got this” Baekhyun insisted, offering Kyungsoo a reassuring thumbs up before sliding his last coin into the slot. “Please dear god – forget me asking for a pass on my calculus test, just let me win this” he prayed silently.

“Baek you’re the best!” the owl eyed boy exclaimed, his eyes twinkling fondly when he was handed the penguin plushie which he was quick to excitedly show Sehun.

“Wait, wait, hold up – no! I’m going to flunk my calculus test!” he heard Baekhyun wail from behind Kyungsoo, the brunettes temple and hands were pressed firmly against the glass of the machine as he whimpered audibly while questioning his life decisions.

He never did figure out why Baekhyun had said that, but Sehun came to wonder if the other had foresight when the boy did, in fact, fail his calculus test a week after.

It didn’t matter though because to Baekhyun, the look on Kyungsoo’s face after he got his hands on the plushie was apparently worth failing more than a few tests. It might have tainted his image as the vice president a little bit, not that he minded. A few minutes flew by before they passed the little barbecue place they used to eat at together, it was still there too. The place where Baekhyun used to steal the meat right off of his plate while he was too distracted by Kyungsoo breaking his high score to a game on his phone. He whined the moment he realized his plate was nearly empty and even more so when Kyungsoo had actually gone and beaten his high score. Those memories were – like a bitter pill to swallow or like biting into a sour lemon.

It reminded him of who he really was.

He wasn’t the loud and reckless boy who had a knack whenever it came to missing the last tube back in London and had to either walk or hail a cab just to get home. Back in London he spent money excessively merely out of boredom becuase he honestly didn’t have anything better to do. In reality, he was simple, the eating instant ramen and drinking packeted milk from a convenience store simple. It was always chocolate for himself, vanilla for Kyungsoo and strawberry for Baekhyun, in that order. Sehun was the laying his head on his arms on the piano cover while listening to his friends sing in the music room simple. He wasn’t the jump around in a club, drunk and screaming at the top of his lungs until his voice was hoarse in the middle of the night – complicated. All those memories were so easy to recall as if they only happened yesterday, because they were the only thing that had mattered to him back then.

Perhaps, they were still the most important to him.

Something he kept close to his heart and treasured in silence.

The neighbourhood rushed past him too soon as much as he would have liked to have recollected a few more fond memories from the past. The mansion where his grandparents resided at came into sight and the moment the car was allowed through the large iron gates was when Sehun realized he didn’t feel ready. He wanted to stay cooped up in the car while looking out the window, he wanted to get lost in his own head because he was exhausted and his body was betraying him with how it was aching with all its stiff muscles and not to mention a sore back since he had gotten off the flight. The BMW circled around the fountain before making a stop in front of the gravel path that led up to the entrance. The driver killed the engine much to his mental protest before he got out of the car and Sehun had to catch himself from groaning when the door was opened for him. The moment he was out, the chauffeur was quick to tend to his luggage and take them indoors.

The mansion itself didn’t look that much different judging by its exterior but it was a given that the topiary designs would change with the coming and going of seasons and as always, they were well tended to. Sehun expected nothing less as he made his way to the door, the gravel scrunching beneath his shoes with every step. He took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell, straightening out his navy blue suit jacket and adjusting the collar of his white polo shirt while he was at it – his mother liked this one in particular for its fancy golden buttons at the collar. It didn’t take a moment for the door to practically fly open and for his grandmother to greet him with a thousand mega watt smile on her face. “I’m ho–” his sentence was cut short when her arms instantly enveloped him in an embrace so tight that Sehun could feel his ribs getting crushed under the pressure. She was tiny with her head pressed against a spot under his shoulder, now that he had grown so much since the last time had had seen her. Though the fragrance of vanilla that emanated from her and the feeling of her arms around him would probably never change.

“Ah, my Sehunnie!” she beamed up at him, her hands rubbing his upper arms as she pushed her frame away from Sehun’s by the slightest to get a proper look at her grandson and by the looks of it she seemed satisfied with how he had matured. “Oh my, my, look at how you’ve grown” she gave him a once over before continuing “You’ve grown into a fine, handsome, young man and you’re so tall” the smile on her aged features never wavered, the lines around her eyes, deep, friendly and – home. “Come, you have to greet your grandfather” she added with a small gasp. “Nana!” Sehun laughed, shaking his head with an embarrassed smile on his face before finally being able to get a word in. “You’re talking faster than I can catch up again. It’s been a long flight, I’m tired you know?” His grandmother ushered him into the living room – which was more like lobby, manhandling him to sit on the couch and Sehun wondered how the rosy cheeked woman's strength never deteriorated despite her age. “Hush child” she tutted, ruffling his hair and making Sehun grimace, but it was nice to know how some things never changed, even with time. She pressed a plate with homemade cookies into his hands and Sehun sighed with a defeated smile, taking one while she continued to speak. “I know you must be tired darling, but your grandfather will be glad to see you. Goodness, you really have grown – I should get you some tea”

“Nonsense, what do we have the maids hired for?” came a stern voice from above to which Sehun was up and out of his seat in a heartbeat, his gaze travelling upwards to gaze at his grandfather who stood on the first floor of their mansion, looking down at them with cold and calculating eyes from behind his glasses, both hands placed on the head of his walking stick. He was dressed impeccably, just as Sehun remembered him. He came down the left grand staircase, one of two which wound up to the first floor on both sides of the lobby. Sehun bowed a full ninety degrees once the he was up front. “Sehun” the old man said firmly. to which Sehun muttered “Grandfather, it’s good to see you. It’s been so long” Sehun’s grandmother made a small sound next to him and he straightened, waiting for his grandfather to take a seat in his armchair before he himself sat back down on the sofa. Sehun’s grandfather had always been strict about mannerisms and forgetting that would be the last mistake the blonde intended to make.

“How are your parents?” Mister Oh questioned as he watched with an almost impassive face how a maid rushed in to carefully place a tray with a tea pot, cups and plates on the table in the center of all the furniture, arranging the tableware and then bowing before she left. Sehun followed her movements, to stall and earn a little bit of time for himself. He picked out his words carefully, structuring the perfect sentences in response to his grandfather's question. The old man's eyes landed on the blonde again, hard and controlled. Sehun was often told he resembled his grandfather appearance wise and now he found himself agreeing. Character wise though, Sehun was the opposite. “They are well” he answered, taking a sip of his tea before continuing “Father has been busy with work because the company is going to open another store in Edinburgh soon and the expansion to Scotland is complicated because of the distance to London. However, the branch and its management are back in order” he paused “Mother spends a lot of time in the garden lately. She is rather fond of gardening so it seems. Thank you for asking.” Short, sweet and straight to the point.

“I see” Mister Oh said to which Sehun’s grandmother cleared . “Dear, you’ve been away for so long, you should stay with us for some time to get settled in. Korea must seem like another world to you now with how long you’ve been away” she smiled at him softly and Sehun returned her smile with his own, his cup clinking against the saucer. “Strangely not” he responded just as gently, remembering to keep his tone even and polite in the presence of his grandfather. “Preposterous. This is his home country. He belongs here and Sehun here should be proud to be back with such a great task” Mr Oh interfered. Mrs Oh gave her husband a pointed look and the old man merely scoffed in response, before he met Sehuns eyes again. “We should talk about business, child. You are old enough to care for yourself and your father wants you to start working at the secondary branch of the company as soon as possible. Don’t think you have time to slack just because your father is not here to monitor you” he finished just as sternly as he started.

“Of course not, grandfather” Sehun said quietly, tipping his head in the form of a small bow, in respect and Mister Oh seemed satisfied. “You’ll get your own place too” he continued then, ignoring his wife who seemed outraged at the thought of her only grandson not staying with them after five years of separation. “You must be able to survive alone in the real world if you ever expect to take over the company. As your grandfather I refuse to hand the company to a child who knows nothing of the harshness of the real world. Do you understand that, Sehun?” It wasn’t odd or strange for his grandfather to be the cold and stern man he was. He wasn’t the warmest of family members but he had good reason to be the way he was with how he solely, over the past few decades of utter dedication and careful planning had formed and founded one of the most successful companies in Korea. Sehun’s father as the son and himself as the grandson honestly had it easy, they would never go through the same process their grandfather did, they were merely inheriting his life's work. It was clear that Mister Oh wanted the best for his family and business – for that he harbored no hard feelings towards his grandfather, only admiration and respect.

“Yes, grandfather, of course” Sehun repeated with a nod and Mrs Oh made another frustrated sound next to him before placing her cup on the table with a final sound of porcelain against porcelain. “That’s enough business talk” she said loudly to which Sehun’s grandfather regarded her with an unimpressed look and a quirked brow. She adjusted her pearl necklace and then stood, clapping her hands together once before looking at her husband with a firm expression and speaking “At least let me run him a bath. He needs a break. Look at him. All skin, bones and dark circles from the flight” something about her tone made Sehun feel like she didn’t intend to go back on her words and judging by the silence from his grandfather who was quick to retaliate to almost anything, Sehun thought right. The blonde laughed silently, shaking his head in gentle denial while his grandmother weaved her fingers through his platinum blond hair affectionately. “Nana, you don’t have to. I can take a shower at the hotel later”

“Balderdash!” she dismissively waved a hand, her words really were final, no questions asked. “I am not letting my grandson out of this house without a bath and something good to eat and that’s that” she stole a glance to look at Mister Oh, ready to challenge whatever it is that he had in mind to say. “So be it” the man responded with an audible tap of his cane against the floor to which Sehun jolted by the slightest.  

Usually at this time of the year, Sehun would have been begging his parents to let him and his friends stay at a holiday resort in Busan or trying to trick them into treating both Baekhyun and Kyungsoo to Jeju island. Back then everything was a lot easier to get away with and now, a warm bath and something good to eat later, he was sitting in his grandfather's study, bent over the desk with a hand rubbing his temple while he scribbled down phone numbers of hotels.

The study was such a familiar environment to him, he recalled how he would spend evenings here with his grandfather as a young lad, going through his books of study even if he didn’t know what they were about let alone properly read it's contents. He remembered how when he was a youngster, grandfather Oh had taken Sehun to the street markets, letting him ride his grandfather's shoulders while he secretly got treated to ice cream just before mealtime even though grandmother Oh would have scolded them.

“Don’t tell your grandmother Sehun-ah” his grandfather whispered to which Sehun nodded, his ice cream and suspiciously letting his gaze travel around the area in case they were being watched, not that they were. “I won’t”

“Aye, that’s a good lad” his grandfather would tell him with a raspy and elderly chuckle.

Ever since Sehun became old enough to realize just how the world worked, ever since he became Oh Sehun the heir to his father's company – he hasn’t heard his grandfather laugh, let alone smile. As a child, he was allowed to dream and only dream because the naive innocence of a child deserved no harsh treatment but it was only a matter of time before that child grew up. Mister Oh would always be the one who had founded the company, he would always be the shadow behind the curtain and the one to pull the strings. It was only natural for him to behave like the exemplary CEO he had been before Sehun’s father had taken over. “For as long as I don’t retire, you are merely a puppet to act upon my whim” Sehun had overheard his grandfather tell his father one evening. Back then he didn’t understand the weight of such a statement, but now he was more than aware.

There was no place for something so insignificant in the world of business as emotions.

It was a dog eat dog world and,

Only the best survived to see the next light of day and,

In this case, the Oh's were the alphas in the pack.

That aside, it wasn’t exactly fair that Sehun had to live in a hotel until he could find himself a place to stay at, that too on such short notice, but he wasn’t in any position to complain and he didn’t have much of a choice either.  When the patriarch of Oh family ordered you to do something, you did it. However, finding a suitable hotel in Seoul during the summer was harder than it seemed. Sehun didn’t really want to stay at the Grant Hyatt where his room would cost as much in a week as a normal person could earn for a year. If Sehun were being completely honest with himself, he didn’t even want to stay in a hotel, but he couldn’t find a place to rent within the time his grandfather had allowed for him to stay with them. One night was much, if Sehun was fortunate enough.

He sighed just as a soft knock on the door ripped him from his thoughts, phone still in hand while he jot down a few more numbers from the call he had made to the hotel he was actually going to stay in. Sehun looked up, turning his head to the side to see his chauffeur by the door, hands behind his back and shoulders squared, looking more like a bodyguard than a driver. Sehun arched a brow at the man in clad black – silently demanding for an explanation, to which the man cleared his throat and answered “Sir, the car is ready. Do you want me to take you to the hotel now? Mister Oh said–”

“I want to drive myself” Sehun interrupted him, knowing well that if he wasn’t who he was, if he didn’t have such a high status, he would have been considered rude for cutting of an elder. “Take the rest of the day off” the blonde added as a small afterthought though it was more of a compensation on his part for being out of line. No matter his status, elders were meant to be respected, this particular chauffeur had worked for the Oh’s for years and he would rather not have the guilt from having shot down the elderly man eat at him later, he had a lot to worry about as it is. “Very well, sir” the man said and bowed, turning on the heel of his polished shoe, leaving Sehun alone again.

He expected for his belongings to already be in the car by the time he came down from the study since the chauffeur dropped by not too long ago. Sehun’s grandmother pulled him into another one of her bone crushing hugs, fawning over him and his apparent state of adulthood, while Mister Oh just stood there, merely offering a nod as he stood in the hallway, gaze cold as ever. “I’m expecting a weekly report Sehun” the old man remarked. “Of course, grandfather” Sehun nodded. “And don’t forget to call me if you need anything, my darling” Mrs Oh cooed - though it was highly unlikely he would ask even if he did - as she pinched his cheek like Sehun wasn’t twenty three but five again. “Of course, Nana.”, Sehun smiled halfheartedly and his grandma clicked her tongue at him, pinching his cheek again because he was using the same tone with her as he had with his grandfather just seconds before. It was her silent way of scolding him, he knew that. It had always been like that with her.

When the door shut behind him it was like as if he released a breath he had been holding for the longest time and he didn’t deny how the weight on his shoulders lifted off his shoulders almost instantly as he went on his way. He took a moment to momentarily look over his shoulder – and at the house which he had spent his youth in running around in the hallways, hiding in spacious closets in the guest rooms and sliding down the railing of the grand staircases but, times had changed. He was an adult now, he was a grown man who had to keep his status in mind before doing something reckless and being the leap before you look kind of person he was, it was easier said than done. Sehun struggled the moment he was forced into a lifestyle he didn’t want to abide by for the longest time. The blonde was still so young – and yet, he felt like an old man himself. He pictured himself as his grandfather and no, it wasn’t a pleasant image in his subconsciousness.

The BMW came to life with a roar when Sehun the ignition, the engine vibrating like a caged animal waiting to be set free to run a rampage on the streets and Sehun being the master of the untamable animal wanted nothing more than to grant its desire. Maybe speeding through the streets of Seoul might help him blow off some steam, then again he couldn’t, not anymore. The blonde was so accustomed to rebelling against the street regulations back in London, in that foreign country where no one could place a name to his face but now that he had returned, it was an entirely different story. He managed to not hit a bus on the way to his new destination and that was commendable. The drive wasn’t as long as it had been from the airport to his grandparents estate and he watched the houses shrink further and further from his rearview mirror as he passed by more streets.

Things had changed a lot more in the city than he would have liked to have admitted. New buildings emerged out of nowhere, ones that he weren’t familiar with rising up into the sky to tickle the clouds and smaller houses in the area had been replaced with more modern ones spacious enough to accommodate the growing number of extended families. Students were running about the street when Sehun drove by the gates of his old school. He deliberately slowed down just to get a good look at the building he had spent his academic life in. They replaced the old gate with a sliding metallic one, Sehun noted and the guard was still the one from years ago, wearing the same uniform as he watched the laughing teenagers from his post – just as Sehun was at the moment. He didn’t feel entirely nostalgic, he didn’t want to be a preteen and hormonal child again because this life, despite its difficulties had its perks as well, but he didn’t want to forget it either. Only because it had so many things about it, things that he had gained in such a long time but lost in the blink of an eye. He wondered if it was strange that he was here for the sole purpose of wanting to know whether things had stayed the same or not when he had become a man, while the world here stood timeless and unmoving.

.

.

.

.

The house by the corner was still a vibrant blue, it still had a white fence and pink flowers still bloomed in the garden. Sehun felt like he had traveled back in time, like the car he was sitting in wasn’t a monster of a sports car but the car Marty McFly had used in that one movie he had watched with Baekhyun and Kyungsoo that one time instead. He parked the car by the curb of the said house, locking it with a press of a button to which the vehicle beeped once in response. He pushed his hair back with one hand, only for the strands to fall back into place seconds after. He was well aware the that lady of the house was staring at him like as if he had stepped out of a magazine instead of a car and Sehun was just as aware of how he appeared in their eyes. The residents in the neighbourhood weren’t exactly poor but they couldn’t afford designer suits and branded sunglasses either. He belonged to another world, he was out of place and probably always had been, even back then. Sehun had never been part of a world that wasn’t made of money, but Baekhyun had given him a sense of belonging in a normal world. Baekhyun gave him a piece of his own world.

There was a new mailbox by the corner, shiny, unscathed and by the looks of it recently installed. It was completely misplaced in his eyes, it broke the image of his childhood almost too much and it made him hesitate by the slightest. Sehun took a deep breath when he reached the sidewalk, the spot where he and Baekhyun had parted with Kyungsoo when they walked home. He always had a few minutes with Baekhyun before they reached their respective houses and retreated into their homes for the day.

A few minutes he wished he could have prolonged.

A few seconds he wished he could have stretched.

A moment he wished he could have immobilized in time forever.

Now that it was gone.

Just a few steps separated him from the fence in front of Baekhyun’s house, but he didn’t stop, he just kept walking until he was standing by his own old home again. Sehun blinked against the sun when came to a halt, head turning to look at his old residence. There were toys scattered in the garden, a bicycle by the door and a woman ushering two children into the house, looks like it had been long occupied by a new family. When she saw him, she stopped dead in her tracks, brushing back her long brown hair, giving Sehun a curious glance that he tried to ignore. He tore his gaze away first, he could imagine a remodeled interior – newly painted walls, furniture and that little scale on the kitchen door frame where his mother measured his height as a child, probably gone by now.

Like so many other things, were.

Sehun scoffed under his breath, tilting his head back to stare at the sky briefly, letting the sunlight caress his face before going about his way again, with his hands shoved into the warmth of his pockets. There was a crack in the sidewalk right in front of the gate of Baekhyun’s old house – one that he and Kyungsoo had tripped over on a number of occasions when Baekhyun warned them a little too late. It had always been there and would probably remain for the years to come. Sehun stopped walking, stealing a subtle glance at the house before hesitantly reaching out to push open the gate,

“Hun-ah, grandma made cookies. Want to come to my place tonight?”

and step onto the path that led up to the front porch.

“I haven’t finished history either, let’s finish it together Hun-ah”

His heart was hammering against his chest, his fingers were clammy, palms sweaty and sticky when he brushed them against his thighs.

“Hun-ah, i’ll climb over tonight – you owe me one”

He wavered at the memories that crashed into him like a train bolting at full speed the moment he stepped through those gates, they were too fast and he was fighting the urge to turn right back around and leave, but he was a man now, there was no way he would run.

Nothing had changed here either, but it was so quiet.

However, the moment he stood in front of the door his eyes widened impossibly when he thought he had heard Baekhyun’s voice from behind the door, his finger instinctively rising up to press the doorbell. Sehun stopped himself midway however, swallowing around the lump in his throat with his finger still mid-air and mere inches away from the bell when he realized that he was imagining things. Who was he kidding? The house was as good as empty, because when Baekhyun was at home there had always been noise in the house – be it music, the television or Baekhyun singing in the shower. It was dead silent now, but that didn’t stop him from ringing the doorbell just for the heck of it even though he knew, Baekhyun was no longer there. The sound resonated against the walls of the soulless house eerily as it echoed back and forth. Sehun felt like someone had poured a bucket of ice over his head and he felt his chest tighten. He could see a smaller version of himself next to him from five years ago, on the very same spot phone clutched in his hand, fingertip repeatedly pressing the doorbell though no one was ever there to answer it in the first place.  

Too soon.

A day, twenty four hours too soon.

They were supposed to leave tomorrow, not today, not now.

“Let’s go watch that new horror movie later!” Kyungsoo had texted him and Sehun smiled, just about ready to reply as he made his way to the door. However, the moment he swung it open the sight he was welcomed to made him forget what he intended to type, the smile fell from his face to be replaced by an expression of sheer horror. He stood frozen at the door, eyes widened as his gaze frantically travelled back and forth between his mother giving loud instructions and the unfamiliar men who were lifting boxes out of the living room, his grip on the doorknob tightened by each passing second. “Mom?” Sehun questioned, effectively gaining his mother's attention. She regarded him with a look of hesitance and even before the words left he was quick to stop her, because he knew what she was going to say. He refused to accept it.

“No!” he practically screamed to which his mother glared and scolded, completely outraged. “Oh Sehun!” His hands were trembling and at this point he had no control over his words because he was completely driven by his emotion. “You liar! you said tomorrow!” he accused biting back a strangled sob, voice breaking and knuckles turning white with how much effort he was exerting to grip onto his phone as if it was the only thing keeping him sane at the moment. He could actually hear the plastic cover cracking under his fingers. Great sobs racked his body as he tried to keep his composure.

“Sehun, listen” his mother started, trying to reason with him but he wasn’t hearing any of it. In return he glared at her with all his might. Tomorrow they said, he still had a day before they left, a whole twenty four hours he could spend with them – with him. He hadn’t even said goodbye, he just hadn’t been able to muster the courage to do so. Not when Kyungsoo and Baekhyun were so happy – joking and laughing next to him. Leaving them would mean leaving them behind in Korea while he flew thousands of miles away to some place where they weren't there, to pursue a life he didn’t even want.

Sehun knew he had been stalling, had known that he should have said goodbye sooner but,

When could he have done that?

How was he supposed to break it to them?

How? he had yet to answer that one question.

Now it was too late to find one for it, far too late.

The house was almost empty, the men had packed everything away into the truck waiting in the driveway. “Sehun” his mother tried once more, trying to keep her tone soft though it was evident all she wanted to do was yell at him for throwing a tantrum. “We have to–”

“Have you once, ever thought about what I want!?” he snapped furiously slicing his mother's sentence in half before he whirled around on his heel, sprinting down the path towards the street even with his mother calling after him. Sehun crashed into his father midway making the man question “Where are you going?” he merely shoved his father’s frame away with a grunt and trembling hands as he mouthed a dark and clearly angered “Get out of my way” Sehun was blinded by fear and sadness to act out of common sense anymore. He felt a stinging in his nose and his throat started to tighten while he kept running like his life depended on it, to a house down the street that seemed too far away. Sehun’s lips parted slightly to let in a small breath as tears started to well in his eyes, he fought with everything he had to keep them from falling, but the closer he got to Baekhyun’s house the harder he found to control it. Sehun struggled to breathe when he finally stood on Baekhyun’s porch.

He didn’t have much time left and it mercilessly kept ticking.

Time, you see, waited for no one.

Not even for someone as desperate as him.

His teeth was digging so hard into his bottom lip that it hurt if not draw blood. The doorbell was loud in the silence of the house, the windows were dark and empty. Sehun’s eyes were burning and his chest felt heavy as if it was filled with lead, he could no longer see clearly for the salty liquid had burst forth into a torrent. He ignored Kyungsoo’s second text, of course, he never responded before five seconds had passed, he must have worried the other. With violently trembling hands he pressed his thumbs against the screen of his phone to make a call as bitter tears littered the glass. The device was hot against his ear while he listened to the insistent ringing of the line, Baekhyun wasn’t answering the call.

“Baekhyun please!” he whined into the phone, his breath uneven and voice hitching.

“Hyung please, please, pick up!” he was begging now but there was nothing but silence and that infernal ringing on the other end of the line. It wasn’t soon before his parents caught up with him and his mother’s voice was quick to command. “Sehun, we’ll miss our flight if we don’t go now!”

He didn’t care.

“Then go!” something in him finally seemed to have snapped because this time, he screamed. “I don’t want to!” the last of the men exited their house before locking the door behind them, the preparations were over, it was time. His shoulders were shaking with grief while he stood there, allowing the tears to continue streaming down his already wet cheeks. He had no choice, he knew it and yet he stubbornly wanted to fight back just long enough for Baekhyun to come back.

He didn’t know what to do.

“I’ve had just about enough of your nonsense and behavior young man!” his father bellowed and Sehun shrunk helplessly under his gaze, feeling small again. “You were well informed of this day” his father was glaring at him and his mother at this point, simply resorted to quietly sit back in the car. “I can’t go yet, please, dad I.. I have to tell him–” Sehun started in between sobs as he wiped his eyes furiously but he was cut short. “Enough Oh Sehun, get in the car, we’re already running late” His father took him by the arm with an iron grip, dragging him to the car and Sehun knew he couldn’t resist anymore, he resigned. The house behind him was empty and Baekhyun would be back long before he left. He just knew it.

Sehun never tore his gaze from Baekhyun’s window though, as if he could will the other boy into the house with his thoughts alone. Until the very last second he stared at the corner where Baekhyun would usually round to come home after student council meetings, silently pleading – praying for him to turn up.

He never did.

When the door to the car shut behind him Sehun felt a part of him die away, his expression had dulled as if he was induced into a state of temporary numbness. He slapped his mother’s hand away when she tried to wipe his tears and for once, she didn’t scold him. She let him be. The car pulled away from the blue house, the battery to his phone died, Kyungsoo’s messages were left unanswered, his messages to Baekhyun unseen and calls unheard.

He just wanted to say goodbye, was that too much to ask for?

He thought he still had twenty four hours.

He thought he still had a day.

He didn’t.

Goodbye Byun Baekhyun.

I’m sorry.  

Sehun didn’t know when he rested his temple against the aged mahogany door while he was immersed in his thoughts. He wasn’t aware of himself and how he was literally staring down at the wooden porch with a dead look in his orbs. The blonde wasn’t conscious of just how much of a trigger the memories were for him and how the recollection alone caused a single tear to drop from his eye. He snapped out of his daze the moment the drop made contact with the wooden floor and Sehun pulled away sharply, expecting himself to regain composure once he did. He proved himself wrong however, when his eyes filled to the brim with tears and glistened in the light, bouncing sadness through the already gloomy atmosphere.

Sehun bit his tongue, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to leave his eyes. A single crystal bead escaped his right eye again, he could feel the warmth sliding down his cheek and rolling off his chin. Then another – and another, until his eyes flooded with them, coming like rainfall. He brought a hand up to cover his mouth because when he cried there was a certain rawness to it, like the pain was still an open wound. At first he would always stifle the sobs in attempt to mask his grief, then overcome by the rush of emotions would he break down entirely, with all his defenses washed away in those salty tears. The blonde hadn’t cried since the day the door of the car closed on him – he hadn’t cried for all those years because he refused to let anyone get the satisfaction of seeing just how hurt he was, but now, it had never felt so real.

In five years, it never felt so right for him to cry.

He cried silently as a form of emotional release. Oh Sehun was a silent picture of grief, loss, pain and devastation. The tears fell and fell – and he let them be. Once they subsided he took a much needed intake of oxygen, wiped his tear stained face with his sleeve and waited a few minutes for the swelling of his face to go down. He retreated, the blonde didn’t want to stay where he was for a moment longer as he his heels.

He walked away from the boy, who was a sobbing mess by the door and clutching onto his phone.

He walked away from the boy who was being dragged away by his father through those gates.

He walked away from the street where a boy rushed past him, frantic and on the verge of crying.

He walked away from himself.

From Oh Sehun of the past.

.

.

.

.

Leaving hadn’t been his choice and coming back hadn’t been either. However, he hadn’t fought it when his father told him that he would be returning to Korea and as much as he cherished the people back in London he just couldn’t seem to grasp why leaving didn't affect him as much. He remembered it well, how his father broke the news to him – it was just after he had gotten his diploma from university, his father pulled his body to a side just as he was about to go out to party before telling him and as always Sehun would merely oblige. His father had always told him, that after they left Korea Sehun turned out to be more docile, that he was more obedient and that maybe leaving was for the best after all. It wasn’t. The more his father stressed on the importance of having to run a business alone, Sehun had merely resigned to listen because it was true and in a place where he didn’t belong, it was his only chance of returning to where he did.

After he had ripped himself away from the memories of his childhood, of the day that had robbed him of something very important, he found himself strangely calm and almost serene behind the steering wheel with the city whizzing past the window once more. Perhaps it had been good to vent, one's eyes needed to be washed with tears once in a while to see life with a clearer view again. Maybe it was for the best that he allowed himself to rip open the wound again so it could heal properly.

Wasn’t it like that?

Didn’t doctors sometimes break a bone so it could heal the right way?

But even doctors, were incapable of healing certain aches with the strongest of medicines.

Sehun knew that.

However, that day was in the past and Sehun had to live in the here and now. He couldn’t allow himself to dwell on things long gone and he could never forgive himself if such a thing made him stray from the objectives he had yet to realize. There were too many things that he needed to accomplish, too many responsibilities he had to shoulder and for that, he needed to focus. Eyes on the road, on the way in front of him and no looking back through the rearview mirror. After all, he wasn’t just Oh Sehun, he was the heir of XOXO Fashion, son to the CEO, grandson to the founder, and himself, the future CEO. He had a father to make proud and a grandfather to prove his worth. There was too much at stake for him not to focus, what else could he do other than to grit his teeth and trudge on? What was important now, was looking ahead and with a resolve he hoped had become stronger, he gripped the steering wheel and sped forwards.

Finding a parking spot near the hotel was almost impossible and Sehun cursed under his breath when he struggled to pull his luggage out of the trunk with the bag almost ping and spilling its contents down on the parking lot. Pulling his suitcase behind him and bag slung over his shoulder, Sehun glared up at the sun and grumbled to himself, sighing deeply when he noticed that he had to walk down the entire block to get to his hotel. He looked down at his phone to check for directions, when he nearly collided into the door of a restaurant, if Sehun interpreted the golden letters in a cursive font “D.O” and the tables lining the window correctly. Thanks to his sharp reflexes he was able to take a step back just in the nick of time when it swung open in front of him before it could make an impact. He heaved a shaky and relieved sigh before his eyes fell onto the man apologizing to him profusely, bowing a full ninety degrees while Sehun registered the entire situation. “It’s alright, I wasn’t watching my step. I didn’t get hit either” he muttered and the man finally straightened, meeting Sehun’s eyes directly. He was able to draw a small “Oh” from the man and it made a tingle run down Sehun’s spine. He had large eyes, full lips and his voice sounded – strangely familiar. The said familiar man paused, visibly giving Sehun a once-over before he whispered, his tone a tad unsure yet firm at the same time. “Sehun?”

“Yes?” Sehun responded slowly, he blinked twice, a little bit confused as to why the familiar looking man knew his name. The other almost tripped over his own words, hands flailing in a rather endearing manner, Sehun noted before he exclaimed “Oh my god – Sehun it’s me! Kyungsoo!” His eyes widened for a fraction of a second, mouth agape by the slightest as he was completely at a loss for words. Sehun was clearly overwhelmed even when his childhood friend was sporting a bright grin with his hands already stretching out before he hesitated and asked. “You do, remember me, right?” Sehun shook his head rapidly before answering, a little bit offended. “Are you being serious? Of course I remember!” He pulled Kyungsoo into a hug, arms right around his back and luggage momentarily forgotten. He was so small against Sehun’s now much taller body, the other man was so short Sehun could almost rest his chin on his head and Sehun felt a familiar sense of belonging wash over him. Kyungsoo laughed against his shoulder returning the embrace just as eagerly.

What were the chances?

What were the actual chances of him running into Do Kyungsoo?

Of all people he could have run into, of the millions of people in Seoul he had bumped into the person he had been thinking about less than an hour ago, on the first day. Sehun let go of Kyungsoo to look at him properly and by the looks of it while he had been growing taller the other seemed to have opted to stay the same, height wise. Kyungsoo’s smile was still beautifully heart shaped, his eyes were still large as ever and there seemed to be a twinkle in those orbs now. It was nice seeing to see him after all this time, after five years of coping with everything alone and away from the comfort of his best friends.

“Oh wow” he said and Kyungsoo laughed because Sehun sounded a little breathless “It’s–”

“Good to see you” Kyungsoo finished for him and Sehun smiled with his eyes crinkling at the corners. “When did you get back?” the shorter questioned to which Sehun looked down at his fallen luggage, picking them up again before responding with a sheepish chuckle. “Er – today, my flight landed a few hours ago” Kyungsoo looked strangely amazed at that, eyes growing wider by the second in fascination as he looked up at Sehun, head tilted into his neck a little bit. So they stood there for a few minutes, like two reunited lost souls in the middle of a bustling sidewalk, silent and staring. Kyungsoo’s eyes were still soft and warm, so much like back in the old days that Sehun suddenly felt his throat run dry. “Is this–” Sehun looked up at the name of the restaurant again and Kyungsoo answered “My restaurant? Yes” that explained the name thought Sehun. “So, uh–” Kyungsoo started a tad awkwardly only to break off and clear his throat. “Where’re you headed?” Sehun cocked his chin towards the end of the street before answering. “Hotel, crashing there until I find a place to stay” Kyungsoo cocked a brow before he smiled softly, a knowing look on his face before he questioned “Your father? or is it your grandfather this time?” Sehun sighed, a little defeated “Grandad, you know how he is” Kyungsoo nodded “I do. Say, do you have some time for a cup of coffee?” The blonde hesitated only for a heartbeat before nodding a little bit too fast to which Kyungsoo laughed under his breath, shaking his head at Sehun.

“You’re still your usual self – it’s good to know you haven’t changed” he joked before patting Sehun’s arm once, but the words had a certain edge to it, one Sehun really couldn’t put his finger on. Sehun couldn’t keep Kyungsoo from snatching his backpack because the shorter insisted on carrying it for him and knowing Kyungsoo, protesting would be futile. At first, they were a bit awkward similar to two high-schoolers meeting for the first time for a new semester. It was expected considering the fact Sehun left without as much as a word only to break contact with them for five years. On their way to the cafe the blonde was able to explain himself and Kyungsoo had been rather understanding of Sehun’s past ordeal. Kyungsoo knew how the world of business worked and Kyungsoo himself wasn’t a stranger to an impromptu move away or two. “When you didn’t reply an hour after the second text, I figured as much” the shorter told him with a small smile as they turned the corner to a street. Sehun wanted to tell Kyungsoo thank you, but he didn’t, because from that point he knew that there was no tension between them. They easily fell into a conversation seconds after, chatting animatedly as if nothing had changed between them.

They were still close to Sehun’s hotel, but the streets were bursting with people and according to Kyungsoo it was mainly because most of the restaurants and cafes were located in this particular area, making it a hub point for mostly business people and students. The cafe they intended to go to at first, was completely packed as well, the line by the counter was so long and at first glance Sehun knew they wouldn’t be able to order any time soon. “We should really get out of this heat” Kyungsoo huffed, running his fingers through his ebony locks before adding. “I know a place that has really nice frozen stuff – we should go there” Sehun silently nodded, easily impressed with Kyungsoo’s knowledge of the are, suddenly aware of the drop of sweat sliding down the back of his neck. Sehun followed when Kyungsoo took one to the left, one to the right and they bolted, dodging angrily honking cars – Sehun found himself laughing.

“Here we are” Kyungsoo chuckled, pushing the door open to the cafe. Sehun was quick to stop the other from reaching for his wallet with a determined “I’ll pay” to which Kyungsoo responded with an amused smile “Really?” Sehun nodded again before letting go of the others wrist “Yes, really. Why don’t you go grab us a seat, I’ll get you something. What do you want?” Kyungsoo shrugged with a smirk “Surprise me” Sehun playfully clicked his tongue, watching Kyungsoo wander off with his suitcase in tow before he turned to the counter, taking his place at the back of the line. There weren’t many people in the line in front of him, but it was long enough to make him tap his foot out of habit – a bad city boy habit he had picked up in London. Something suddenly seemed really odd the moment a cheery voice calling out orders up front hit his ears, the laughter he could hear was stirring something inside of him violently. An old feeling of wanting to laugh along, to sling his arm around narrow shoulders to rock two frames from side to side while the laughing person was gasping for air resurfaced in him.  

Sehun was taller than most, but he wasn’t tall enough to peer past the top or around the line when he felt the need to find the source of that sound. The only thing he could see was a bob of brunette locks moving swiftly from one end of the counter to the other while preparing orders. Somehow he was nervous, it wasn’t the same kind as earlier when he had visited his old home though – but it was a strange giddy feeling that settled deep into his guts, making his insides twist. The barista had his back turned to him when Sehun finally stepped up to the counter, wallet in hand almost used like an anchor. The barista was small too - weren’t most people compared to him? - slender beneath his clothes, apron neatly tied around his middle with a perfect tie. Sehun watched the barista reach up for a cup a little ways away from reach, tip toeing with slender fingers stretching out to desperately reach it while asking “What can I get for you?”

“Hyung, you have really pretty hands”

What were the chances?

What were the chances that there was another person on this planet with fingers just as nimble and beautiful as Baekhyun’s?

Fingers Sehun had held between his own, had played with while watching a movie he had been dead set on not admitting that he was scared over. Sehun bit his inner lip, too expectant for his own good while he stood there, mouth opening and closing before he muttered.

“Baek hyung?”

The barista paused, his fingers wrapping around the cup just as Sehun called out a name. The brunette went completely still before falling back on his heels and turning around, almost as if time was stretching and running slower. To Sehun the moment really seemed to be unfolding in slow motion.

He could be wrong but,

A part of him knew he wasn’t and just then,  

His eyes met directly with the person he had longed to see more than anyone else.

“Hun-ah–”

What were the actual chances of him running into Byun Baekhyun?

AUTHORS NOTE(S):

AUTHORS SUSHI (CHERRY) AND DEER (DUBU) HERE!

SUSHI: Hello dear readers! First of all, thank you to all those who subscribed and commented (comments always make my day, so make sure to leave us a little something! <3) Like stated before, this story means a lot to both authors and we're putting a lot of work and thought into it and this chapter was pretty emotional to write! I hope you guys liked it and that you are excited for the next one! 

DEER: Hello lovelies! first off, thank you so much to those who commented and subsrcibed to the story. This chapter turned out to be 10k worth of word vomit was a lot of fun to write but mostly just a roller coaster of emotions that had us emptying tissue boxes. Forgive a few spelling or grammar errors if you do come across any since it isn't as beta'd as we wish for it to be. In case anyone was wondering the italic bits are flashbacks from the past. Please do tell us what you think and anticipate the next chapter!