Seeds of Love
THE LOST TIME: KEY TO HAPPINESSTo my OhYehet,
If ever a time will come when our love will be challenged, I hope you will hold me and fight for me.
Be with me and have patience, just like you always do.
Let's come back here again after ten years!
And let's come back still happily inlove
Love,
Indian Princess
November 2023
Hayoung tossed and their shared bed, careful not to wake her sleeping husband. He was tired from work and surely he wouldn't want his rest to be disturbed.
She sighed, because she can't do anything. Everything seems falling apart.
She loves him. And she knows that he loves her too. But the problem's with her. Hayoung's mind was preoccupied with all the what ifs of her life. Wondering, dreaming, wishing... what if they happen? What if she chose a different path? What if she didn't give in too easily?
With her mind still deeply thinking, she found herself outside their house and walking down a familiar path. A path she had taken a million time years before. A path she walked happily while singing with the birds as the world welcomes the spring. It's still the same, after all those years... but she's the one who's changed.
Now she walked down the path in the midst of winter, in her pink pajamas-- too cute to look at, full of youth if anything but it's the same youth that she have thrown away--, the melancholy in her heart numb her to the coldness of the weather.
Finally reaching her destination, she unlocked the doors and entered the old flower shop of her mom. The same flower shop where she spends most her time, the same flower shop that witnessed her and Sehun's blooming love, the same shop where they planted the seeds he gave-- grew and become ordinary flowers but still special for her until they withered-- and the same shop where Sehun planted the seeds of his love that grew into the most special flower and gift for them both, their daughter Soobin.
But they were too young that time, just a few months into college and a sudden debacle of their dreams. Sehun's parents we're ashamed of them, throwing them out instead of helping them.
But still, they believe that their love will win and so they fight for it.
They did everything, both of them dropped out, Hayoung stayed at home while Sehun worked his way in every part time job he can enter just so they could save for their child.
She gave birth to Soobin and became the most loving mother and wife to her family.
Everything worked out just fine or so they thought.
They never married. They just don't have enough money for the fancy ceremony that Sehun had promised to Hayoung years ago. But they had loved each other and their daughter more than anything.
But somehow, as Soobin grew to be a beautiful little girl, Hayoung grew more and more weary of her lost dreams.
Maybe it was because of staying in the halls of Soobin's schol during morning when she take her to school, she end up sitting with the other mothers and listening to their stories. And realizing how different she is from them. How she's much younger than them.
"I've been looking for you everywhere" the voice came nearer and Hayoung can now saw his face, an imprint of fatigue obvious with the dark circles and studs. Hayoung felt guilty for causing it. If not for being a young mom, Sehun won't be like that.
"I'm sorry" she said
"Why are you always sorry? You didn't do anything" Sehun said, sitting down with her on the dirt in the center of the old green house, broken pots and withered plants surrounding them.
"Sehun, do you still love me?" He was taken aback by her question, he was confused. Hayoung's being like this for some time now and he didn't understand why.
"Hayoung of course I do, you're Soobin's mom" he held her hand
"So, do you just love me now because I'm her mom, and not because I'm your other half, that I'm Hayoung, the girl you used to love"
"Hayoung why are you being like this? Tell me, what's the problem"
"It's just...I'm tired" Hayoung said, a tear finally escaping her eyes.
"Are you saying you're giving up? Hayoung, we survived for years already, why are you being like this now?"
"Sehun we are not going anywhere. I'm so tired of everything and it's not helping when I can't feel you" Hayoung stood up
"I'm always beside you" Sehun followed
"But your heart isn't... Anymore. I felt it Sehun, I know that sparks that we had when we were young is now gone. It feels like we're just staying together for the sake of Soobin"
Sehun didn't talk after that, the silence and the way he looked anywhere but on Hayoung made her confirmed it. That look in his eyes, it screams guilt.
"Hayoung" Sehun finally mumbled, reaching out to touch Hayoung's hands "I'm sorry, but I still love you. Please don't think otherwise, believe me"
"Sehun, look around you" She said gesturing the old and dark greenhouse, the place that mattered a lot to them "We shared a lot of sweet words here, we grew a lot of beautiful flowers here. Remember those days, when we used to compare our love to a flower, now I realized that our love was really like a flower. Because no matter how beautiful a flower is, there's a point in time that it'll wither and die"
"Hayoung..."
"Let's separate. It's the only possible thing I can of right now"
"Hayoung no. I won't let you. How about Soobin? She's too young, she needs us both. Hayoung you're just lost in the moment"
"You're right, I'm lost..."
"Please don't rush, let's talk about this"
"I'm lost, so let find myself. Let me find that girl who used to love you with all her heart. I won't abandon you just like that, I love Soobin so much, but right now... I need some time for myself"
The next morning, Hayoung's gone.
Only with a letter left on their bedside table, an aster, and kiss on the forehead of the sleeping Soobin.
[a/n]
I'm so sorry this took sooooo long before it got posted. I'm not good with schedules and time management lmao
I'll try to update in two weeks to make up ahe. Anyways since I finished Lost Diary in 2014, I'll make the 'ten years later' on 2024. Also, the following chapters won't be on a chronological order, but everything happens between those ten years.
I'd love to hear your thoughts
Much love ♥
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