It was early October, it had been 4 months since Him Chan had entered my life and a lot had changed. I had developed an odd liking to him and yet I still strongly loathed himself as a person. My coworkers had taken notice to the fact that I was weird around him and it made my comfort level sink. I had greatly seeked him out, not only at work but outside of work to. I seemed to always need his approval on anything. The way our tables were set up or on the way I looked for the day. It was something that made me fear myself. I didn't understand why I had become this way. I was never like this before and I couldn't fathom how one simple person could change me so much. People outside of work had begun to take notice of my change and had started spouting horrid things to me. What was happening? I had never let anything affect me before and if it did, it was easily bottled inside me forever. The things that they were saying were becoming such a normal thing that I began to change myself so much.

It was a weekend I was laying on my bed debating playing a new piece I had learned or turning to my tv to finish Rooftop Prince. My phone lit up and it was a text from Him Chan.

"Hey, we're having a thing at my house. Come."

I didn't know what to say. Did he really want me there? Did my coworkers want me there? I responded with the first inane thought that came into my head.

"Do you really want me to come or are you just asking to be polite?

Wow, a smack in the face. That was stupid.

"Yes, just come." he said followed by his address.

I didn't know whether to actually go or just flake. So, I procrastinated for about 2 hours and debated what I should do. Eventually I came to the fact that I should go. So, I went. Immediately when I got there I saw the alcohol and took to the first thing I could find and threw it back like nothing. My other coworkers already a bit drunk and Him Chan cooking outside with his father. I went outside after pouring another drink and made my greetings. They all acted surprised to see me... Like I had never gotten out before pfft.

Okay, I didn't much.

The night proceeded on and the drunker I got the more I took notice to Him Chan, not just his accent but, now I noticed him in general. His face, body, hair. The way he presented himself and how he smelt. My intoxicated state was getting the best of me and I was taking all of his presence in. He wasn't the same person at all as he was at work. He was kind and funny. I couldn't help but want him. although, I had tried so hard not to. A few more drinks down and I came to terms with myself that I need to just not talk to him or look at him. So, I made small talk with the others that were there or snuck off to pet the cat. Yes, cat!

The night had become interesting, we all were chatting and eating and drinking and laughing. It was the most fun I had, had in so long that I didn't know how to handle it and became socially awkward. I casually sang to the background music and giggled to myself as the cat would attack my arm in a cute furry mess. Everyone else would sit together and talk and I would stay in the same spot with the cat. Eventually the night began to come to a close and everyone winded down and tried to sober up to make it home. I had been sitting outside listening to everyone inside chat and laugh together, when most of them decided to take their leave. I stayed sitting outside while they left. I was pondering my escape. If I had been inside I could have gone out with them but, I was too late. My phone had been dead so I couldn't use a quick excuse. I didn't want to talk alone to Him Chan. He came outside to where I was and lit up a cigarette he made some small talk and played on his phone as I nodded along. He was obviously slightly intoxicated.

"Alright, well I'm going to go now."

He didn't bother to look up and just nodded in a sad state. I didn't understand. But, I left as fast as I could. As I got to my car I plugged my phone in and drove off. I had finally made it home and turned my phone on. Immediately a call showed up on screen. It was Him Chan, was he okay? Did I leave something at his house? I answered with hesitation.

"Him Chan, is something wrong?" I questioned.

"I may be a little drunk, uh did you get my messages? he said quietly.

"I haven't checked. My phone has been off. Give me a sec I'll look." I said as I took a glance and read the messages

*You can stay if you want......I think you should come back.... I want you. *

The last message stopped me dead and my heart felt like it had completely left my chest, What? What as this he was asking me?

"Hum, Him Chan. I think you are way too drunk. You don't mean that go to bed. Okay?" I pressed.

"I'm only a little buzzed. Do you want to?" he questioned in a hushed voice.

Oh yes. Yes, I did! "Even if I did I couldn't I’m already home." Immediately my hand flew to my mouth. What did I just say!!! I basically implied that I would.

"If you want to then I think you should come back." he said still ever so quiet on the other end.

"Okay. give me a few minutes." I said hanging up. What on earth did I just say. It was like I didn't have any control over myself. I wasn't drunk and yet my body wouldn't obey me.