Chapter 2

From a perspective of Jessica Jung

I felt like I was so blessed to have an amazing friend near me. Tim Hwang. He was the perfect guy any girl could ever have. And, he was my best friend who I actually wished we were more than that.

My life was complete because of that one person. Tim Hwang, the sweetest guy on Earth. 2 years ago, I was a new student and I was seated next to him in math class. I still remembered how he smiled at me as his eyes turned into a crescent moon. I was in awe that I couldn’t even notice that he said hi. We became friends and thanked to him, my first year at school filled with joy.

Our friendship developed into another level. We became best friends. Tim was very protective of me. I loved how he glared at any guys who looked at me. Sometimes he would even pretend to be my boyfriend when someone was about to hit on me.

We were a perfect match. He loved to play with my hair and I loved it, too. I was bad at math, but he was good at it. I loved sleeping, and he loved it when I slept on his shoulder. We both loved caramel coffee. I loved it when he said I looked perfectly fine whenever I felt insecure about myself. I loved it when he ruffled my hair when I was being cute to him. I loved it when he became a fool just to make me laugh. And, I loved it when we held hands that perfectly blended together.

After what he had done, who wouldn’t fall for him? Tim Hwang, you got me having butterflies in my stomach every time I looked at you.

But, Tim didn’t seem to be into me. To him, I was just a best friend. I couldn’t be more than that. I waited for a year for him to say he liked me, too, and waiting for those words seemed like an eternal hell. He never said anything. And, that’s why I gave up on us.

While I tried to move on, Tyler appeared. He was a good guy. He was like Tim, but no one could ever replace Tim with Tyler. Yes, Tyler did make me happy, but Tim, he completed me. I tried my best to move on, so being with Tyler was the best escape.

However, I noticed how Tim looked at me and Tyler. He was jealous and mad of us. And, I clearly understood why. It’s because he was Tim Hwang, the guy who got jealous easily. I wanted to approach him, but my instinct told me not to. I just needed to move on completely.

It was wrong of me to use Tyler to move on from Tim. But, that was the only choice I had. As time passed by, Tim and I got distanced. Parts of me were happy that I would be able to move on very soon, but parts of me broke down, knowing that the perfect friendship between me and Tim broke into pieces just because of my feeling for him.

I was selfish to hurt him because I was the one who fell in love with him at the first place. However, there was nothing I could do. Moving on was the best choice I got.

Being with Tyler was fun, but I missed all the memories I created with Tim. I missed Tim. But, I was afraid. Afraid that my feeling for him would become back even though I knew myself that I could never move on no matter how much I tried.

I would still always love him.

One day, Tyler confessed to me and I said yes. Why? Because I thought Tyler would be able to make me feel the way I felt for Tim. I thought I could finally move on.

I told this news to Tim, pretending to be excited about it. He was shocked at first, but he congratulated me later. Instead of being happy, I felt rather disappointing. I secretly wished he would say something different. I wished he would tell me not to be with Tyler and be with him instead.

I was wrong again.

Tim was never in love with him. To him, I was just a friend. That’s it.

Days passed, Tyler and I became an item. Tim and I went back to normal even though I knew Tim still felt awkward. It was funny because I was more happy that when I was with him than when I was with Tyler.

Guilt hit me. I shouldn’t have used Tyler to move on. It was wrong and selfish of me to do that. With me still loving Tim while being with Tyler, I felt like a horrible person. And, that’s why I met Tyler and broke up with him, saying that I had no feeling for him and apologized as well as thanked him for loving me sincerely.

My break up news was still a secret. Tyler didn’t tell anyone nor did I. I was relieved that everything was fine now except the fact that I was still in love with my best friend. Even though we were friends again, Tim still kinda pushed himself away from me. He didn’t play with my hair anymore. He didn’t do what he used to do. But, he still did what he did best, making me laugh. I was thankful that after what happened, he was still at least here with me.

And, that was enough even though it still hurt.