They all knew Minseok had trouble expressing his feelings, his thought about people or even himself. He always feared someone would take it the wrong way or think badly of him. What he did not know, or failed to realize, was that his teammates were always here for him, always wanting to take care of him, to protect him, to listen to him. Even if it took time, they all wanted Minseok to understand they were here and he had nothing to fear about opening up.

Of course, since their debut, he had warmed up to them, he had changed. He spoke his mind, loud and clear - they would all stop talking when he would talk anyway - but he was still keeping everything to himself. His feelings. When he was hurt. When he felt bad. When he was sick. He didn't want to burden other.

He shared this personality trait with Kyungsoo. Both of them kept it all in until it exploded. Maybe that's why Kyungsoo could see it when their hyung wasn't okay. He could see it, but couldn't go to him. What could he say ? Kyungsoo himself couldn't do anything about it.

That day, when Junmyeon had called Yifan to tell him Minseok had fainted, Kyungsoo blamed himself. He had seen the signs like he had the first time it had happened, but he kept telling himself he was reading too much into it. Later that day, his leader and their eldest member came back home, followed by a silent, concerned Yifan. Minseok had immediately gone to his room, mumbling something along the line of 'I'm exhausted', but Kyungsoo knew all he wanted was to avoid the worried stares of his fellow members and, most of all, Junmyeon who would probably come talk to him about all of this. No matter how many time the leader had done that, Minseok wouldn't talk to him about his problems. He never had.

Kyungsoo knew that because he was one of the few people Minseok talked to about his problems. Probably because Kyungsoo went to him to talk, too.

A few hours later, it was time for dinner. For once, Kyungsoo had asked Yixing and Jongdae to cook with him, something Kyungsoo usually hated. They both read into the lines and understood, maybe if the three of them were to cook something together, Minseok would eat it without much complain.

However, when Sehun went to his room, to signal him food was ready, Minseok was sound asleep under his blanket, clutching a kitten plush Jongdae had offered him two years earlier for his birthday. Since the nurse told Junmyeon Minseok should rest, they did not wake him up.

But Kyungsoo waited.

 

+

 

He felt weak and cold and maybe something near inconsistent or unworthy of something when he woke up. He did not know why. Minseok wondered why he felt like this, slightly bitting at his plush's ear before remembering.

Ah, yes, the bitter taste of disappointing someone. Or himself. That constant impression on his tongue. Well, nothing new, right. Minseok brought a hand to his eyes, rubbing them to take away the dizziness of his whole body. With his second hand he grabbed his phone who was placed on his left, turning the screen on.

11pm.

He had skipped dinner time. Minseok shivered, not knowing if he should go eat a bit - he knew the members surely had left him something - or just try to fall back asleep, using this as an excuse for Junmyeon the next day.

He ran his tongue over his upper lip. It was completely dry, and his mouth felt doughy, thick with sleep. He wasn't sure he would eat, he probably wouldn't since the little voice in his head was screaming that he was already fat enough, but at least he could drink something. Like water. He rolled around, tugging his feet outside of the cover. He draped it over his shoulders, using it as a warm cape. Finally he stood up on his own two feet beside his unmade mattress, with only a huge shirt - maybe Yifan's or Chanyeol's he didn't remember - and a pair of boxer.

Feet cold against the equally cold wooden floor, Minseok walked to the kitchen. He could hear their three youngest playing video game in the open room at the end of the hall, Tao shouting when he though Sehun was cheating and Jongin laughing along. Minseok smiled fondly, continuing his path toward the kitchen.

He felt a pang of nostalgia hitting him when he saw Kyungsoo slumped on a chair, a plate of food waiting in front of him. His hands were tucked between pages of his book, his thick framed glasses on his nose. Kyungsoo lifted his head when he heard Minseok's soft steps. It was all too familiar. Was it one year ago ? When Minseok had done it the first time. The not eating to get thinner thing. He had done the same, he had waited for Minseok to pass by the kitchen and--

"Hyung." Kyungsoo patted the chair next to him, straightening his back upon seeing his friend. "You missed dinner."

"I just came to fetch a glass of water, Soo, I'll go back to bed right af-"

Minseok knew Kyungsoo very well, and yet he couldn't help but ignore the tone in the later voice. Kyungsoo wasn't asking him to stay and eat. It was an order, like a mother would give to her child. Minseok froze when he saw the younger calm, cold gaze fixed on his eyes. He sighed, resigned. It would be worse to flee than to eat, Minseok decided.

So he sat down beside Kyungsoo, who gave him a small, content smile. He pushed the plate filled with that night's dinner leftovers in front of Minseok. The elder stared at the food displayed in front of him for a few seconds, knowing that when Kyungsoo was here, he couldn't escape that bittersweet torture that eating was to him. He also knew that Kyungsoo would wait as long as Minseok needed, tonight. That, in itself, was a sort of comfort. Because Kyungsoo understood Minseok. Because Kyungsoo had gone through the same, even though he had hidden it at the time. But the younger had gotten out of this mess alone. I am so weak, Minseok told himself.

Minseok felt warm fingers dancing along the skin of his arm. Kyungsoo took the elder's wrist with his digits. He could circle them without any trouble. The contact between the two of them made Minseok smile – neither of them were much into skin ship, but when there was contact between them, it meant something – and Kyungsoo frown.

“You need to eat.” Concern had washed over Kyungsoo's face, worried it would get even worse than last time. He set loose his fingers from the pink haired man's wrist, sliding them to Minseok's hand, intertwining them together.

What Minseok admired about his and Kyungsoo relationship is that they didn't need words. They didn't need much touches. They didn't need a lot to be understood by the other. A simple glance at Kyungsoo's expression and he would know what the younger was thinking. A small, heavy breath from Minseok and Kyungsoo would know how he felt. Because their personality were so alike, they understood the other. Because of this, Kyungsoo was one of Minseok's most precious friend.

With their hands locked together, Minseok slowly turned his head to face Kyungsoo. In this one touch, he could feel the unspoken concern, the unshed tears, and most of all, all of the affection Kyungsoo had for the other. When their eyes met, Minseok's mouth formed a true smile. Call him selfish, but he was happy the other was concerned about him. And just for that, with his second hand, he picked up the fork and started to eat, slowly, one mouthful at a time. Minseok felt a weight on his shoulder a few forks later, and when he glanced at it, he saw that Kyungsoo had rested his head on him, knees brought up to his chest, glasses removed from his nose and laying on the cold table beside his book. Their hands were still interlaced, but now the younger had lifted them to his chest. Minseok could feel his heart bumping peacefully in his body, a calm rhythm making Minseok grin once again.

He didn't finish the whole plate. He couldn't. But he knew Kyungsoo was okay with it. Because Kyungsoo knew Minseok was trying. When the younger one started playing with Minseok's finger with both his hands, the eldest knew what was coming. This whole evening was nothing but a copy of one that had happened a couple of years earlier. Kyungsoo's lips parted to let his voice be heard.

“You know we love you, Hyung ?”

Minseok nodded.

“No matter how you look, no matter what happens, we'll love you, alright ?” He could feel Kyungsoo fidget in his seat. He wasn't good at those kind of talk, but still, it warmed Minseok's heart. “And I don't ing care about who it is, but I will find whoever gave you the idea that you needed to stop eat and I will punch them in the face.”

Minseok giggled a bit. Kyungsoo was so blunt when he wanted to.

“You're our precious hyung and we will protect you at any cost. Even if it means murder.” Kyungsoo continued, now joking. “You know I've got a nice backyard back home where we could hide the body.”

Minseok laughed. Even if Kyungsoo was joking now, he knew they all wanted him to be okay. The only person being an idiot was himself. He was giving too much credit to haters. He had always been like that. But things were not the same, here with eleven brothers. Things were changing.

That evening, in this kitchen where they talked about murders and how to bury a body, this evening where they held hand for who knows how long until they realized they needed to sleep, this evening where touches had been exchanged, this evening Minseok felt it. The change.

He felt himself changing.

A/N : Woaa !! 27 subs and nearly 500 views !! Thanks a lot ! It might not seem much to some, but to me it's like the Graal.

I hope you liked this Xiusoo chapter, because I enjoyed writing it ! I just live for Xiusoo bromance ok uGH.

I've got the stories planned but I don't know which one I'll write next I just want to write them all ugh. Who would you like to see, beside Jongdae or Luhan ?

Kiss (KISS FALL IN LOVE), have a good day <3