Quiet [xiutao]

 

The dorms were quiet, if you ignored Sehun's distant screams as another member of their rather large group probably tickled him. Quiet if you could pass Junmyeon and Jongdae's playful argument over which one was better between Iron Man and Captain America - Junmyeon, of course, fiercely defending Iron Man - and it wouldn't be so bad if Jongdae's voice wasn't so loud. But still. It could be considered quiet, compared to most of their evenings.

Except it wasn't because Chanyeol had probably pulled a prank on Kyungsoo, and just now Chanyeol was screaming murder while Kyungsoo was running after him, shouting insults that would make even Yifan blush. And god knows how rude he could be. So yeah, the dorms weren't so quiet, and Minseok was trying to concentrate on his chinese and he was so ready to give up and just sleep, because he was tired and there was no way he could read another character without wanting to scream out to everyone to shut up.

So all in all, it was quiet, but it wasn't. And Minseok had had enough. But since he had been a pain in the for everyone the previous weeks, he couldn't see himself bursting through the door and commanding silence. So the elder just groaned, closing his book with one hand and dropping it beside him, on his blanket. He rolled over on his side, facing the wall as he closed his eyes. He was so tired but his body just wouldn't shut down, his mind didn't want to stop racing across every thoughts, and the creeping sensation of just not being completely okay - more like really not okay tonight - kept sinking in his belly, burning his whole body without any control. And it hurts. People don't realize how bad it is to hate yourself to the point where your friends notice it.

But tonight, Minseok doesn't want to think about it. He needs to stop thinking about it, because it's not how he'll get better. He needs to love himself more, to rest, to eat properly. He needs quiet and company. Really, he loves his team members, but right now, they're not what Minseok seeks. So he just slips under his blanket, nesting himself against both his pillows and diverse plushes. And he searches for a sleep that probably won't come until a few hours.



He's surprised when the door of his and Zitao’s room opens, a sudden rise in the piece's volume since the sound of his friends' bickering echoes against the walls. Minseok frowns in his half slumber, and probably grunt, since the one who entered mutters a small, distressed "sorry". Which is how Minseok recognizes Tao. He feels the younger slowly, silently hovering over him, probably wondering if he had woken up his older friend.

“Don't worry, I was already awake.” Minseok said with a quiet, tired voice, and maybe it came out to Zitao's ears as if he was annoyed, which he wasn't, because the younger flinched a bit before apologizing once again.

Minseok expected him to leave right after, but Tao didn't move from his spot, beside his roommate's bed. The quiet figure was just starring at him, Minseok could feel his eyes on his back, and that made him fidgety, nervous. The elder rolled around on his mattress, surprising Tao as well as himself : the younger had been way closer than he had thought. Tao was still silent, starring at him with furrowed brows. Minseok knew that Tao was always careful around him, preferring for Minseok to start the conversation because he feared he might not be wanted around. It was endearing how Tao's personality made a 180 degrees turn once he was alone with Minseok. He was always careful, quiet but smiling. He wasn't a brat like he was around Baekhyun or Sehun, and it was actually pleasant for Minseok, and even with that drastic change, things were never awkward when they were together. Since they lived together, they knew each others boundaries, knew when one needed calm, when one needed comfort, or just if the other wanted to chat. It was a thing Minseok loved about Tao, how he adapted to him and his introvert .

However, right now, the young man had a question running on his tongue, and Minseok could see he was worried it wouldn't be welcomed.

“What is it Tao ?”

The younger sighed, crossing his arms on the side of the bed and laying is head on the blanket, observing Minseok's face. Now he looked frustrated, eyes half closed and an absent pout on his mouth.

“I… I won't ask you if you're okay, because it'd be useless.” Minseok's eyes widened for a second. He didn't expect Tao to think like that. “But, uh, is there something in particularly that is wrong ?”

The younger started biting his lower lips nervously just at the end of his sentence, voice coming up short and weak at the question. A bitter half smile escaped Minseok. Was there something wrong ? He asked himself. Was there something special that made him feel like ? No, not really. It was weird that the elder had never asked himself that question, thought. Zitao patiently waited for his friend's answer, not caring about the time it would take. Finally, Minseok's eyes crossed with Tao's again.

“I wouldn't say… It's not something in particular. It- It's never something in particular, it's always… like… little things. Things I probably make up out of anxiety,” he paused, snorting at his own word. His own little laugh made Zitao's worried expression break into a small smile, and suddenly, Minseok felt better. “Because I'm worried about… I don't really know. What other thinks ?”

The elder paused looking straight into his friend's eyes, seeing nothing but understanding. He frowned at himself. Minseok knows Zitao has problems with that too. The look of other people. What they'll think. The difference is that Zitao is not in his original country, he's way younger than Minseok and he succeeds in keeping it together. What the hell was wrong with him ? Tao probably sensed his internal conflict. He sat down on the floor, chin planted on the bed.

“I know what you mean. And please, hyung, just because it seems like little things, it doesn't mean it's stupid that it affects you. We all have our own sensibility. We all are affected by different things. It's not a shame at all, okey ?”

Minseok was surprised by Tao's declaration. It seemed like he had spent time thinking about that. Just how much had the boy grown up when he wasn't looking ?

“And, um, it's okay to take things slowly. To work your way out of things that bother you. Just because people tell you to” he brought his hands up so Minseok could see his fingers mimicking quotation marks “snap out of it, it doesn't mean that you have to suddenly be… feel better. Things...”

“Things don't work like that, I know.” Minseok smiled softly at his roommate. Zitao was unusually sweet to him tonight, and he can't say it's a bad thing. “I've…. Thought about that before, I know that. But it's good to be reminded of all this sometimes.”

Zitao was biting on his lower lip, unsure of what to say. He yelped when Minseok suddenly dropped a hand on his scalp, starting by petting his hair, then gently massaging his head. The younger smiled, closed his eyes and if you were to listen closely, you'd here him purr. He let out a heavy sigh. Everyone knew the young man was actually a cat. Pet him, he loves you.

Minseok found himself closing his eyes, lulled to sleep by the little whimpers of pleasure escaping from Tao's mouth, each time Minseok would scratch a spot he liked. A few minutes into this situation and Zitao's climbed under his hyung's blanket, silently asking for more petting. Minseok wanted to thank him for the pep talk, but he found himself too sleepy. Soon, both were out.

+

When Zitao woke up, Minseok wasn't in the bed. When he woke up, a plate of food had been placed on his night stand, covered with plastic so it wouldn't get cold. Minseok wasn't here, but Zitao knew what he had been doing.

Thanking the other with food was, after all, sort of a tradition between the two.

A/N : I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO IGN LONG..... i was in the middle of exam preparation and right now i'm in the middle of exams but i just felt like writing so here it is.

Comment or subsribe if you liked this !! Thank you loves !!

Also i want to say how the petting part was taken out off my real life, one of my best friend sometimes pets my head and i just

purr