BEFORE

URGH! I hate this life! Why isn’t there anyone to help me? No one even went to come and get me at the airport. What do they think of me? Just because my parents paid those people a good price to help me get on the plane doesn’t mean I can do this all on my own now. May I remind everyone that I am just 16? And where is that house again?

I was walking while carrying these 2 heavy luggage and one bag pack. I think my back is going to break. I should have listened to Mom to only carry one bag. Where are they?

Suddenly, a guy around my age was walking the street where I was. I immediately caught a look on him. Will he help me? Oh pretty pretty please.

“Umm, excuse me?” I said in English with an American accent, “Do you happen to know where the Chois live? I am actually referring to Choi Jungnam. Do you live in this neighborhood?”

He just stood there looking at me. Right! How can I forget? I am so stupid. Of course, he won’t understand. I am at Korea! Everyone speaks Korean.

“Mian. Naega~” I started explaining in Korean but then

“How are you related to Mr. Choi Jungnam?” He asked back in English

Oh thank god. He speaks in English! His voice. It’s so soothing. And he speaks in accent and very fluent. This day could still be good after all. This will be easy for me now. I could cry.

“Oh! I am his niece. He was supposed to pick me up at the airport but he wasn’t there. Do you know where he lives? I have been looking everywhere and I am tired already. My feet hurts”

I put on my best puppy face and even tried massaging my calf hoping he would help me with the luggage and of course the direction.

Instead, all I got from him was a stare. He just looked at my luggage then from my feet to my eyes. Doesn’t he believe me? Does he think I am a swindler?

“You’re standing at the place you should be” he said

“Excuse me?” I said amazed by how pathetic I am for even thinking that he would help me, “Fine. I get it. If you don’t want to help me, just say it directly. It’s not like I’m forcing you anyway”

I then took my luggage and was about to start moving when he took both of my luggage and went back to the house he just entered. He opened the gate by his hands and not even putting down my luggage which is in fact in his both hands. He’s so cool. Wait. What if he’s the one who is actually a swindler? Oh no!

“Wait! Where are you taking my luggage? YAH!” I almost hit him when a guy came out of the house.

He was standing there in jeans and plain shirt with rolled up red checkered long sleeves.

“Sooyoung?” He said

“Ya! Choi Siwon!” I called relaxing a bit finally

“Whoa. You’re back. I thought you’re going to come here tomorrow.” He said happily, “Wait. Why are you two together?”

“I found her just outside of your house” He said placing my luggage at the doorway.

“You guys knew each other?” I asked

“Right” Siwon said stepping in between us, “Sooyoung, this is Lee Donghae and Donghae, this is my cousin, Sooyoung. She’s from New York”

“Ah, Sooyoung” he said reaching out his hand for a hand shake, “of course”

“Nice meeting you”

I reached out my hand also but to my surprise he took it to his lips and kissed the back of my hand. He kissed it! Right in front of Siwon. This is embarrassing. But really good. I’m so happy I had done my nails before I leave. What was I thinking that I actually accused him a swindler?

“Why don’t we get in?” Siwon suggested

And I caught his smile- his flashy oh so handsome smile. What was he doing to me? Why am I nervous like this? My heart is beating so wild.

He still hadn’t let go of my hand so we were holding hands as we entered the house.  Well, technically, he was holding my hand.

“Um… You can let go of my hands now” I said shy

He just smiled at me. What is wrong with him? I smile back and sat at the sofa.

It’s the very same house that me and my parents used to visit every vacation. It’s good to come back here. I have so many fun and really beautiful memories here. I could remember every single memory in every corner of this house like it all just happened yesterday.

“Siwon-oppa, where is uncle?” I asked Siwon who placed a juice at the table and sat down. Donghae on the other hand, sat down as well beside me.

“Ahbuji is at work” Siwon just smiled. “So, how was everything in New York? I heard you’re going to stay and study here. What happened?”

“It’s dad and his business as usual. I can’t believe it. He said he’d expand the business somewhere at—“ I stopped in the middle of my sentence

I suddenly got cautious of Donghae. I get embarrassed. Why is this happening?

“Look, it is ok. I get it always.” He said

“What do you mean?”

“I know I am handsome. It’s a fact.” He said coolly leaning at the sofa

I rolled my eyes. I was shocked by what he said. Oh my gosh. Where did he get that?

“Umm… Where did you buy those? I mean, yeah, it’s pretty unfortunate that you can’t afford to buy respect and attitude but hey, it can’t be bought by money, right? It must have cost you a lot buying those good looks”

“WHOA!!!” Siwon yelled, “Sorry, bro. You can’t flirt with her”

“AH, I get it then. You’re actually trying to flirt with me? That’s bad” I said trying to make fun of him

“Actually, like you said, respect and attitude can’t be bought by money and guess what, neither these good looks. It’s in our genes.” He said proudly, “And I am proud to have them. And I’d be happy to tell you that I haven’t gone through needle like what most people think about South Koreans"

“Good then. You study, right?” I said, “At what school? What year are you? In what class?”

“Why you’d ask?” Siwon asked instead

“So I can make sure to avoid him whatever it takes. Your lack of manners makes me puke”

“Oh! You don’t want to do that” He said leaning in closer to me, “You can never avoid me in the school. Because I am everywhere- literally, everywhere”

I look at Siwon and saw his face. He was just smiling, no trace of a joke. What does he mean by that?

“Oh, I have to make a call to Ahbuji” Siwon said making his exit

Oh shoot. I wish I hadn’t answered back. Please bring back the time. I don’t want to be left here with him.

“No worries, I promise I won’t bully you at the school in your first day” He just said slacking off

“Noh! Jeongmal chincha! You’re a bully?” I asked in shocked.

Omona! What am I going to do? I hate bullies.

“Do you think I am?” He leans even closer now.

His face was only few meters apart but it already felt like his face was too close that his breathing has touched mine. I immediately put my hand to my mouth.

“AH, I see. You’re a conservative New Yorker.”

“YAH!” I said hitting him lightly in the arm, “Just so you know, not everyone in New York is too liberated. Of course, there are still people who are conservative. We’re many so don’t underestimate us”

“Arasso. Arasso. I was just kidding.” He said resting his back at the couch now, “You don’t have to worry, I am at the same class as Siwon so we’re in upper year than you are, though you might worry a bit because I am serious when I said that I am literally everywhere”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll see” Donghae said smiling widely again. Gosh. I can’t get enough of those smiles.

I then unpacked my things from the luggage which Siwon-oppa helped me to carry to my room. My room was in the second floor, last room at the left while Uncle and Siwon’s room were at the right. It has been a very tiring day. Siwon-oppa told me that I have to wake up early tomorrow morning so I could go with him and help me get to know the place. The thing is I still haven’t adjusted myself completely and I am still at New York time.

After placing everything in the proper order, I lay down at my bed. AHHH~ I can’t believe I am staying here. When I was a kid, I always wish to just stay here but now that I am actually going to stay here, it all feels like a dream.

Suddenly, there was a knock on my window. Who the hell is it?

I approached my window looking sideways but there was none. I then opened it to look further but then someone shocked me to death.

“BOO!” he said it in a very deep scary voice that I think my heart almost dropped

“YA!” I shouted after finding out who it was.

Apparently, it was just Donghae. Gosh! I nearly had a heart attack because of him. What the heck does he want from me? Geez. Oh wait! How did he know my room? And what was he doing here?

He then entered my room. I was still shocked by what he did that I couldn’t even stop him. He then stood there in front of me- all smiling like a kid.

“What are you doing here? How did you know where my room is?”

“Well, it’s easy. You know, I am not just a friend of Siwon. I am his best friend and I know everything about him-EVERYTHING! Just like how he knew everything about me”

“So, why are you here? Don’t you have better things to do?”

“Well, I have tons of things to do”

“Then go! Do it!”

“I am doing it now!” He said and takes a sit at the chair

Geez. He is like a psychopath. Urgh! What have I gotten myself into?

“Please, don’t think like I am a psychopath or what. I won’t hurt you” he said as if reading what’s on my mind, “Don’t get the wrong impression of me. I was just trying to be friends with you”

“Friends? With me? Like this? Oh my god! If this is how you make friends with, you better change your way because trust me, you’re proving it to me that you are exactly what I think of”

“AHA! You’re thinking of me. And what exactly do you think? Am I the bad boy? A good one? Or just plainly a psychopath?”

A bad one? I think so. I like bad guys. They make me feel secure.

“A psychopath!” I answered confidently

“You don’t think I am good?”

Well, you helped me earlier so I can consider you a good one. But we still have to see.

“Na-uh! Not a chance” I shook my head no and then turning away

“Friendly?”

“Nope”

“Smart?”

“Um..maybe?”

“Handsome”

“Yes!”

“Do you like me?”

“Of course it’s a-“

Whoa! Hold on! Not so fast. I looked at him but he was just staring at me intently like he really wants to know the answer

“YAH! Stop freaking me out!” I yelled and started hitting him in the arms.

Shoot! He nearly got me! I almost said yes! URGH! This guy really needs a beating so he’d remember where his manners are.

“Fine! I was just curious. I can’t help it” He said

I step away from him, taking in what he just said. Curious? Of me? Why?

“Look, this may sound crazy and a bit boastful but I am naturally curious”

“So is everyone!”

“NO. You don’t get it. I am naturally curious and beyond curious. You know like Einstein or Newton or Edison or Leonardo Da Vinci?”

“You mean like a genius” I said sitting at my bed, still facing him

“Yeah” He said looking serious, “like one. And I can’t help it”

“Okay, serious time” I said sitting with my legs crossed, “Why are you curious of me? I understood you are curious but why? Why me?”

“I don’t know. There’s something unique about you, really. And I am finding out why. That’s why I am here”

“And you can’t sleep if you don’t find out what?”

“Exactly. You can ask Siwon, yourself”

“No. Let’s not drag him here” I said instead sounding more serious, “Since I am still not yet sleepy, I can play with you. Let’s play 20 questions”

“Sure”

I took a deep breath. I don’t know what’s with him that he got my attention even more so, I suddenly got interested in him. It’s like I want to more about him and I hope he won’t lie to me because I really really want to know the real him.

“So, you ask first”

“When is your birthday?” he asked

“Seriously? You ask me that?” I almost laugh at him but he is really serious, “February 10. My turn, what makes you smile?”

“Hmm. Good question. Simple. Fun times with fun people” He said, “What is your blood type?”

“Type O. What’s your favorite movie?”

“Lord of the Rings. Which do you prefer, Orange or Apple?”

“Hey, I like LOTR too. Both. If there is any place in the world that you could go, where would it be and why?”

“My mom’s graveyard, it makes me feel warm.”

“Oh, sorry about that I didn’t know” I said feeling bad after asking him that

“No, worries. She died when I was just a kid. It’s been a decade. So, back to the game, what are your hobbies?”

“I like reading books, listening to music and watching movies. If you had a time machine, would you go back in time or visit the future?”

“I’d go back in the past. You said, you like reading books, what is your favorite book?”

“Pride and Prejudice. I’m a fan of Austen.” I smiled remembering the book. It was such a good book. “What is your favorite car?”

“Would you be shocked if I told you that I have no particular interest in cars? I don’t have a favorite car but if I am going to buy one, I’d buy Volvo XC90. It’s the safest one up to date. It scored 97% in the adult occupant category, 87% in the child occupant category and 100% for its safety assist systems. What is your favorite genre to listen to? What particular song?”

“I love listening to ballads and classical pieces. It makes me feel calm. I have been listening to Damien Rice’s The Blower’s Daughter. It’s an indie but nevertheless, it really makes me feel good after listening to it. What is the craziest thing you have ever done in your life?”

“Playing hide and seek for three days with my dad”

“Why is that?” I crack a small laugh

“I ended up being on the missing list. It was after my mom died” He looked so serious. “What is your favorite color?”

“Blue or anything that can match with blue like blue-pink but Blue. When is your first kiss?”

“I haven’t had”

“For real?” I was shocked. Wow. He must be saving his first kiss for the right girl.

“For real. Do you like sports? If so, what is your favorite sport?”

“I like sports but I am not athletic one. I really like tennis of all. If you are a Superhero, who would you be and why?”

“I am going to be Batman, that’s for sure. It’s because Siwon has already taken the spot as Superman.” He answered to which I laugh. I could imagine the kid version of Superman and Batman in them. “What is your favorite flower?”

“Tulips! I love tulips” I said almost as soon as he said the word flower. “If you were really hungry, really exhausted, AND really gross, what would you do first — eat, nap, or shower?”

“I’m gonna go for a shower. Because if I had a shower, I’ll be able to eat well and then sleep and because I feel a lot better after a shower, I’d have the energy to eat. What is your favorite pet?”

“Oh, I love puppies. In fact I have one. His name is Bori and he is staying at New York. So, what is more important, the truth or happiness?”

“I wouldn’t mind staying with happiness, if it’s for real.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t even choose happiness if it isn’t real. Stupid question”

10Q

“What is your biggest fear?” he asked which had me think through for a long time

“I think my biggest fear is falling out of love. The moment that everything is slipping away and not being able to bring it back; that kind of feeling makes me really scared. I could never imagine life without loving someone or something.”

That is true. No matter what I think, falling out of love is the one thing that really scares me the most. Life without love is like a paper with nothing on it. It’s just blank- a flat surface but if you try to put on just a single dot in it, it becomes something special. Life becomes special because of love. I even think that love is the greatest gift that was given to mankind because out of that love, everything comes into place. We feel the happiness, sadness, contentment and everything.

“How about you? What is your biggest fear?”

“Falling in love” he just said in a sad tone. I waited for him to say something else but he didn’t say anything else. He proceeds with the game, “What is your favorite part of the body and why?”

“Hmm… I personally like my eyes. It’s because it allows me to see all the beautiful things that God has created. Which do you prefer, black or white?”

“I’m a black guy. What is the last thing you do before you sleep and the first thing after you wake up?”

“I used to do this: check my phone. But it changed when my mom gave me a book. Now, before I sleep, I read and after waking up, I read.” I said smiling as I remember the day my mom gave it to me, “Who is your celebrity crush?”

“None”

“WHAT? Are you human or what? Do you live in a cave? Don’t you have TV on your home?”

“Hey, one at a time. And I haven’t asked my questions yet.”

“Sorry” I said calming myself, “Seriously though, you have no celebrity crush? Why is that? You know, I really don’t believe you”

“Seriously, I don’t have any celebrity crush”

“No one? Not idols? Girls’ generation? Kwon Yuri? Really no?”

“None”

“But why?” I really can’t believe it. How could that possibly happen?

“I already answered that” he said

Huh? AH! Right. He said he is afraid of falling in love then loving someone for him is impossible. But I don’t think so. I think not loving someone or liking them, a bit is impossible. What sort of Einstein-like characteristic is this? Even genius fall in love. I just don’t really understand.

“If you are going to choose between what you want and what you need, what will it be?”

“I guess, I have to be practical, right? I am going to choose what I need because out of that need, I can get what I want. You don’t think heart can’t be taught, right?” I said, “Moving on, what is your favorite food?”

We were just sitting and looking at each other’s reaction while we play this game. It was fun and really educational. I learn a lot of things about him and I’d love to know more about him.

“I like ice cream”

“Oh! Oh! Me too!” I said with such passion

“Chocolate one!” we both said at the same time

“OH MY GOD! I’m so happy that there is someone who likes chocolate ice cream too. In our family, there is no one who eats ice cream but me and Aunt Seojung, Siwon’s mother, and after she died, I wasn’t able to eat ice cream because no one would want to eat them with me. So why chocolate ice cream?” I was so happy that we have the same likes in ice cream

“When I was a kid, I always ask my parents to buy me Ice cream but they won’t because they were super busy and at that time, I can’t eat anything that is sweet or cold so I envy anyone who eats ice cream and then I promise myself that I will eat it once I can. Turns out, I loved ice cream” Omona. There is that smile again. Waa! Eotteoke? “So you finished asking, my turn”

“Ne!” I said anticipating for his question

“Where is the one place in the world you feel safe?”

“Uh- not place but someone. I want someone who can protect me. I don’t know. I just feel really secured. Wherever I go, if I am with that person, I feel totally secure” I said, “umm… What is your blood type?”

“I’m an A” he answered coolly, “What is the last thing you want to do before you die?”

“I want to go somewhere up high with someone I love like you know, on the top of the Ferris wheel or High Mountain, or in a parachute. And then, I would tell to that person that people don’t really die. Their heart only stop beating and their bodies die but not their soul, and not even their memories. They are always with us, in our hearts, mind, and soul.” I smiled as I imagine that last one moment.

I am not afraid of dying. There are lots of things I can be afraid of but dying is not one of them. Maybe because I don’t have any regrets in my life that I think if I am going to die, I will leave with smiles on my face and peace in my heart. I want to die just like that. But we don’t choose our own deaths, right?

“Which do you prefer, short hair or long hair?" I asked to which he got confused

"Was that for me or my preference in a girl?" he clarified

"I mean which do you prefer, girls in short hair or girls in long hair?"

"I like girls with medium hair, not too long but not too short, just 5 inches from the shoulder" he answered calmly, "Describe yourself in one word”

Mmm… one word? If I have to describe myself, I guess I’m a double faced person. People around me hardly get to know the real me that is because I tend to keep all my thought to myself. It’s not that I do not have friends to share my thoughts with but merely I just don’t want people to judge me. I know that I have built a good daughter image, and people around me know that I think first before I act which is true. I don’t know why I became like this, probably because my mom taught me that way. But I like it that way. It saves me from any harm coming.

“Cautious? I never usually show my first reaction. It’s like, I think first before I actually act which makes other people think that I am… a fake” I rolled my eyes as I said that last word though, I am not really affected by other people’s comments on me. I just think it’s ridiculous. “What’s your favorite thing to do on a beautiful day?”

“Playing basketball with Siwon has been my favorite past time but the thing that I really love is doing something adventurous like something that no one has ever done before that I could be really proud of doing.”

“Like what?” I asked

“I thought, you were only supposed to ask one question. It’s my turn”

“Hey, but you didn’t answer my question fully.”

“Yes, I did” He insisted

“Whatever!” I said

“If you were given a chance to change something, a mistake, decision- anything, what would that be and why?” he asked once again looking at my eyes.

It felt as if he was looking through me like he could read what was on my mind and I suddenly feel nervous. Luckily, he shifted his eyes to the window for a moment and it allowed me to breathe and shake this nervousness off.

“You know, like I said I think first before I act so that I won’t regret it and so far, there’s nothing that I regret a lot but if I have to choose now, I’d like to go back 3 days before Aunt Seojung died. I want to tell them what I think and what I feel. I should have told them what I know. I should have convinced Uncle Jungnam to let the doctors treat Aunt Seojung. I knew she lied when she said that she could not take the treatments anymore that she just want to spent her last days with them because on that day, I saw in her eyes how much she wanted to fight her disease and become strong again. I saw how much she wanted to live. I just wish I could do something about it but I was a child then.”

“You were such a good girl, Sooyoung. But people die no matter what. It’s something that we all face eventually and it’s normal. When our time is up, we can never escape it.”

“I know which is why as much as possible, I want to do whatever I think is right and follow what I truly feel because I don’t want that day to come wherein I no longer have time and can’t do it anymore.” I said smiling, “Do you think when your time comes you won’t be able to regret anything?”

“Is that your question? Because you know, it’s your turn to ask”

I smiled and rolled my eyes. He really knows everything, “Fine. Yes”

“No. I don’t think I won’t regret anything when my time comes. I still have a lot of things I want to do and if my time comes right away, I’m really going to regret it a lot”

Suddenly, my phone rang and I got shocked and panicky. It might wake up Siwon and Uncle Jungnam and if they find out that Donghae is in my room, I’ll be doomed. I immediately took my phone which is on the side table and take the call. It’s mom.

“Hi…Mom” I answered catching my breath

I turn around so I could avoid Donghae’s reaction. He must be laughing off his now while watching me become panicky.

“Sweetie, is everything all right? You promised to call us when you reach your Uncle’s home, what happened? Are you there now?” Mom asked worriedly

“Mom, I’m fine. I just got a little lost but I am fine. Yes, I am with them and I just unpacked my stuff. I was on my way to sleep”

“Sleep? It’s still 6 in the afternoon" Mom asked even more worried

“Mom, I’m tired and I really wanna go to sleep. And I still haven’t adjusted to the time here” I reasoned out

“Fine, go to sleep now. Don’t give your uncle some problems there, alright?”

“Mom! I am not a trouble maker!”

“Goodnight~”

“Goodnight” I hang up the phone

I then turn around remembering that Donghae is still in my room but when I did turn, he isn’t on his seat. I look around my room but he is nowhere to be found. I then saw my window which was now opened widely. He must have gone already. I wonder how long he has been gone. I then closed the window and lie to my bed hoping for a good sleep. Tomorrow is the start.