I woke up with a start, unsure what had caused it.

I lay in my bed, blinking confusedly at the unfamiliar ceiling, trying to recall what I had been dreaming of before I woke up.

It had something to do with Jongdae, that much I was sure of but unlike most times, I distinctly remembered feeling happy because…

He didn’t fade.

Smiling a bit sadly at that – ‘twas just a dream after all – I sat up slowly, glancing around the room and my gaze landed on the window.

It was closed.

I stared at it curiously, almost sure that I hadn’t shut it when I’d finally gone to bed last night after seeing Kyungsoo and Baekhyun off.

Maybe the wind had shut it, which might explain why I’d suddenly woken up despite sleeping so late.

Somewhat satisfied, I lay back down and closed my eyes. Though it was just a dream, I tried to recall it, to recapture the sense of joy and content I had woken up to.

A small smile curved my lips unconsciously as I remembered the feeing of his arms tightening around me, of burrowing deeper into his chest and hearing his heart beat against my ear. So lovely…

My bed was warm still and it was easy to pretend that I was back in his embrace.

God, I missed you so much…

The cadence of his voice echoed in my head, sounding so much deeper than before. I had missed him too, still did and would probably always will.

My heart felt heavier than it had moments earlier and I willed myself not to fall in the nostalgia, to not give into the tears the thought brought.

To distract myself, I tried to remember the dream. I had been feeling happy and there was something else, just at the edge of my consciousness, waiting for me to remember-

Lips pressing against drier, chapped ones, a hand burying in my hair, pulling me deeper into the caress…

My cheeks suddenly burned, for even though it was nothing but a dream, it felt all too real. I raised a hand to my lips, feeling the softness beneath my fingers, a little disappointed that they didn’t feel more bruised, more… anything. They felt like they always had, soft, a little dry but plump.

Silly though it was, I expected, maybe even wanted them to feel different… because the dream had been so different from my usual nightmares. Because it had felt so much more than just a dream, it had felt real and I wanted some proof that it was so.

That was not to be and I resigned myself to that, deciding instead to enjoy the false reality conjured by my own imagination, no doubt, and that was how I fell back to sleep.

……………………………..

Mother had happily granted me permission to go on the walk with Lord Han, only adding that Mae would accompany me as the chaperone.

Of course, being Mae, she couldn’t bear to be left to her own devices while I enjoyed my walk with Lord Han, so she sent a carriage for Lady Soojung, who was a close friend of hers and we were waiting for her arrival when Lord Han’s arrival was announced.

Lady Soojung arrived soon afterwards and before I knew it, we were boarding the carriage. I was somewhat relieved to find out that there were people besides myself and Lord Han because I wasn’t sure how I would fare if we were alone.

Lord Han sat in front with the coachman, leaving the carriage for the ladies and I could see mother was impressed by his manners, bidding us farewell. The park was not too far away and the time passed by quickly with lively banter going on between Mae and Soojung.

The park was large with several paved stone walkways, leading to different parts of the garden. There were a variety of flowers and hedges, interspersed with trees, creating a beautiful atmosphere. There was a lake towards the far end, a small harbor of sorts with a few row boats strung closely together.

I was tempted the moment I saw the boats, the reminder of my childhood antics coming back to me strongly.

Lord Han seemed to sense my interest, offering to take us for a trip around the lake.

‘You should ask Minah to help you…’ Mae began but thankfully kept quiet at my frantic glare. I did not want Lord Han to know about my more unconventional interests, not right now. Maybe after he knew more about me…

‘Do you enjoy boating?’ He asked me, sounding genuinely curious, making me blush. Trust Mae to embarrass me like this.

‘Yes… I mean, I used to when we were young.’

‘Would you like to go now?’ He asked sincerely and I had a feeling he really would take all three of us on a rowing trip if I said yes.

I shook my head instead. It was tempting but I’d rather talk to him and get to know him, instead of blabbering about art like I had no doubt done at our first meeting. ‘Thank you but I’d rather walk.’

‘Boring…’ Mae’s voice carried over to us, making me blush again. Lord Han smiled, distracting me instantly with the deep crater in his cheek. ‘Then let’s walk.’

He offered me a hand to help me step over a rough patch, falling back to offer Lady Soojung and Mae the same assistance as we headed towards the more shaded area in the park, large trees casting it in shadows.

Mae and Lady Soojung fell back after a while as I and Lord Han leisurely took in the beauty of nature around us. The silence between us stretched as I cast about for something to say. This was beyond embarrassing – he must be thinking I was such boring company…

‘The flower of sweetest smell,’ he spoke after a while, pulling me out of my mortification, ‘is shy and lowly.’ He smiled when my eyes met his, a blush staining my cheek