It’s nearing two in the morning and dance practice has finished late (or early, depending on how one views it) and Jaebum knows he should head to his room to try and sleep because morning always comes too soon these days.  But practicality doesn’t fully exist at this hour, so he finds himself making a detour.

He stands outside of Jinyoung’s room, debating for a moment or two before knocking on the door twice.  Hearing a softly spoken come in, he opens the door to find Jinyoung with his back to him, hastily pulling down a shirt, before he turns around to greet him.

“What’s going on hyung?” 

“I was just about to ask you that.”

Over the last couple of weeks, he’d noticed Jinyoung keeping to himself more, being quieter, and not saying much when they had group meetings.  Jinyoung had picked up the dance moves quickly, made no mistakes, and smiled for the cameras when they were present, but Jaebum can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong.

“What do you mean?”

He’s not entirely sure how to put it into words, since it’s more just a feeling he has than anything else.  Finally Jaebum settles on, “You haven’t seemed like yourself lately.”

“Oh.”

One word, that’s it? So he tries again.

“I wanted to know if something’s bothering you?”

While Jaebum’s been in his room, Jinyoung keeps busy moving and organizing a few things; placing dirty clothes in the hamper by his closet, picking up a book that had fallen onto the floor and placing it on the table next to his bed. Not ignoring him (because he would never), but not actively encouraging conversation either.  Finally finding nothing else out of place, he sits down on his bed, grabbing a blanket and pulling it loosely over his legs.  He’s not cold really, he just wants something to hold.

“No, I just—”

Jaebum waits for him to finish his thoughts, but when he sees Jinyoung has no plans to, he prompts, “Just what?”

“I just had some things on my mind.  I’m sorry if I seemed distracted or messed up anything.”

He shakes his head because that’s not what he meant to imply at all.  “You don’t need to apologize, Jinyoung.”  He’s still standing, just barely inside Jinyoung’s room, and he suddenly feels awkward.  Before… before, he wouldn’t have thought twice about taking a seat next to Jinyoung on his bed, but things are different.

And maybe it’s because he feels things are different and he’s not even sure when or how things got that way — did it happen overnight, or was it more a gradual thing?  He knows he doesn’t like it though, this invisible distance and divide he feels that’s building between them.  And he really really wants to believe that it’s just something he’s made up in his mind and things are actually fine, just fine, but that’s starting to feel more and more like a lie.

“You know you can still talk to me, right?  About anything?”  

Please say yes, please don’t let things have changed that much his mind begs Jinyoung.

“Of course, hyung.”  Jinyoung looks down at his hands, he’s currently picking imaginary lint off his blanket, and he waits a few beats before speaking again as if he’s trying to decide how much he wants to reveal.  “I’ve been thinking that I missed dancing with you.”

Oh.

“We dance together everyday.”  He’s not deliberately being obtuse, it’s just he’s not sure what else to say because things are the way they are.  

“I know, it’s stupid, right?”  And it is entirely ridiculous because Jaebum is completely right.  They do dance together every single day.  There’s just five extra members added to the mix.  “Forget I said anything.”

“No, don’t say that,” Jaebum is quick to tell him.  “Your feelings are never stupid to me.”

Jinyoung looks up and smiles at that.  “I guess I’m still getting use to how things are.”  

Jackson makes him laugh, Mark is kind and sweet, Youngjae is earnest and awkward and endearing, and Bambam and Yugyeom make him want to simultaneously mother them and scold them.  

But just because he doesn’t resent the other members, it doesn’t mean he can’t also miss the days when it was just the two of them, right?

The room stays quiet as Jaebum just kind of stares at him, and it looks as if he wants to say something but fails to find the words.  Finally he glances away and clears his throat and the moment passes, making Jinyoung think maybe he just imagined it.

“You should get some sleep,” Jaebum murmurs softly.  “Good night, Jinyoung.”  And with those parting words, Jaebum walks out of his room, pulling the door shut and leaving him all alone.  Again.

—

After that unexpected late night talk, there’s nothing major that really changes, no flashing neon light indicating a turn ahead or change of roads.  Jinyoung doesn’t think Jaebum really understood what he meant anyway, so he just pushes aside those thoughts and focuses on doing the best he can for GOT7.

Nothing really changes, except two days later, Jaebum starts sitting next to him more often than not when it comes meal time.  Of course that means Jaebum ends up stealing food from his plate, and so then he’s obligated to put up a fight to steal it back, only to let him win in the end or to fake fullness and shove his leftovers at Jaebum.

This leads to him getting midnight cravings, which isn’t so bad either, because more than a few times Jaebum will be up going to the restroom in the middle of the night and instead of going back to sleep, he’ll keep him company while he eats (and maybe steal a bite or two).  He never questions how his stomach demanding food and Jaebum’s bladder seem to coincide so perfectly sometimes.  He’s completely content to enjoy the quiet moments they share, just the two of them, just like old times.

Besides sharing meals and meeting up in the kitchen at ungodly hours, the late night visit to his room isn’t the last Jaebum makes either.  He stops by with some reason or another — Youngjae snoring, it’s too cold in his room (Jinyoung hands him a blanket but Jaebum collapses next to him on the bed instead and asks for him — rather cutely — to warm him up), he can’t sleep — and they end up talking about a dozen little things.  Nothing important or big, just talking to talk.

And only once does Jaebum fall asleep in his room, it hadn’t been intentional at least Jinyoung doesn’t think so, but that had been nice.  The next night, Jinyoung hugs the pillow Jaebum had used tightly to his chest, inhaling the scent left behind and trying not to giggle like a school girl with a crush.

—

Another two weeks pass when Jaebum comes to practice late one morning.  He’s got a huge grin on his face and Jinyoung’s curious why but before he has a chance to ask, Jaebum’s at the computer, fiddling around with volume controls and adjusting things.

“We’ve got the Japan showcase coming up, so let’s go through the dance routines and practice all our songs,” he announces in full leader-mode, his hand hovering over the play button.  When the opening bars of “Girls, Girls, Girls” ring out a few seconds later, he rushes to get into formation.

They put in four straight hours without stop before Jaebum takes pity on Youngjae and Bambam who both look to be on the verge of throwing up.

“Break time.”

Everyone’s too tired to cheer and instead collapse exhausted.  Mark and Jackson are using each other as their own personal body pillows, Youngjae’s sitting and leaning against a wall for support, while Bambam and Yugyeom are sprawled out much like da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man.

“Jinyoung?”

“Yes, hyung,” he mumbles, his eyes closed.  He barely made it to the sofa to sit.

“Come with me to the convenience store to buy some snacks?”

He opens his eyes at that and gives Jaebum his best you’ve got to be kidding me look.  “Can’t we just order something?” he suggests.  He’s not even embarrassed that his voice has a hint of a whine to it, he’s hoping his hyung will take pity on him and give his legs a break.  

“I thought I’d pick up some vitamin drinks too.  I won’t be able to carry everything,” Jaebum insists.  “Come on, I promise I’ll let you rest when you get back.”

“Hmmph.” Too tired to properly argue and thinking back to Jaebum’s earlier mystery smile, he relents and agrees to go.

“Kids,” Jaebum says, his voice easily slipping back to leadership-mode, “I don’t need to tell you to stay here and behave, do I?”

Youngjae groans in response while Bambam mutters, “Real funny hyung, just let me die in peace.”

—

Instead of heading to go out, Jaebum grabs his hand and leads him to the back of the building, to the staircase that leads to the rooftop.

His legs may be screaming in full protest at the thought of climbing flights of stairs, but once he realizes where Jaebum is taking him, he doesn’t want to say no.  It’s been a while since they both went up to the roof.

“I take it the snack break was really just a ruse to get me alone then?” Jinyoung asks when they reach the top of the building.

“You make it sound bad, but yeah…. maybe?”

Jinyoung laughs and Jaebum smiles at the sound.  Jinyoung’s laughter has to be his favorite thing in the world. 

“It’s been a long time since we’ve come up here,” Jinyoung voices his earlier thought.

“Yeah, yeah it has,” Jaebum agrees softly.

They lapse into silence both thinking back to memories of an earlier time, when it was just the two of them.  JJ Project forever, they had promised with eyes shining bright with excitement and youthful energy.  That hadn’t quite worked out the way they hoped or thought it would, and adjusting to the new dynamics that five extra people bring is something they’re still in the process of learning.

Jaebum thinks back to when they almost shared their first kiss, it’d been the day before he had found out JJ Project was to become GOT7 — almost kiss, because they’d been interrupted by their manager coming to tell him that Park Jinyoung PDnim wanted to see him the next morning.  

After that, things got a lot more chaotic and busy and he was overwhelmed with trying to become a leader that all six could be proud of and look up to, and maybe in the midst of trying to be perfect at everything and to not play favorites, he’d placed his feelings for Jinyoung to the side.

He’d taken for granted Jinyoung, and took for granted that he would always be there, and that wasn’t fair.  The night he talked with Jinyoung — when he had asked what was bothering him — and Jinyoung had said he missed dancing together, he understood the meaning behind the words spoken aloud.

He just hadn’t been sure what to do about it then, so he went back to his room and spent the next two nights staying up late and thinking long and hard about what he wanted, what he thought Jinyoung wanted, and what it meant for GOT7 and whether or not he was brave enough to take the risk.  He knew after Jinyoung said what he did, the proverbial ball was in his court.  

So he started eating meals with him, half the time elbowing Mark and Jackson out of the way and earning dirty glares from them (glares he was surprised Jinyoung hadn’t notice to be honest).  And without fail, one of them would end up going around the table to sit on Jinyoung’s opposite side.  When Mark would get a little too close for his personal liking or Jackson a little too handsy, he would start stealing Jinyoung’s food so that he would have to pay attention to him again.  Of course that meant he had to eat all the leftover food Jinyoung pushed toward him, even if he was already so full that his stomach felt like it would burst with any additional bite.

The first time he heard noise in the kitchen at one in the morning, he came out fully prepared to yell at whichever member was stupid enough to disturb his sleep and to scold them for eating so late.  But then he saw Jinyoung and he quickly recovered, saying that he needed to use the restroom.  After that he kept water in his room, so any time he heard noises in the kitchen, he would have a convenient excuse to go out and keep Jinyoung company.  Instead of wondering how Jinyoung didn’t seem to find it odd that their timings matched so well, he chose to appreciate all the little stolen moments.

And sometimes it would be late, and there would be no noises coming from the kitchen, so he started making up excuses to visit Jinyoung’s room again.  Really lame excuses, but Jinyoung seemed to believe him so he kept coming up with new ones.  All he really wanted to do was spend time with Jinyoung, and Jinyoung never seemed to mind, always welcoming him with a smile.

Only once had he fallen asleep in Jinyoung’s room, the feelings of loneliness overwhelming him to the point that he hadn’t wanted to leave the security he felt when he was with Jinyoung.  It had been without a doubt the best night’s sleep he had since JJ Project became GOT7.

The silence that’s settled between them is comfortable, and part of Jinyoung hates to disturb it, but he’s also more than a little eager to find out what prompted Jaebum to bring him up to their rooftop (it’s how he always thought of it).  

“Earth to Jaebum hyung, calling Jaebum hyung… are you in there?” he teases as he waves a hand in front of the other’s face.

“Huh, sorry.  What did you say?”  He hadn’t meant to get distracted but the place held a lot of memories for him and Jinyoung, and he hopes that maybe they can create new ones today.  He’s actually pretty nervous, he realizes belatedly.  He doesn’t want to screw this up.

“Well you were quiet for a while,” Jinyoung tells him.  “But really, I just wanted to know why you brought me here?  Is there a particular reason?”

“Remember how we use to come up here and dance?” Jaebum asks instead.  “How this was our little escape, our little version of paradise when we got tired of the practice room and all we wanted was fresh air and a change of scenery?”

Jinyoung nods because it wasn’t something he’d ever forget.

“I think we did some of our best routines up here.”  They’re some really great memories — ones he’d sometimes take out late at night when he couldn’t sleep or had a really rough day.  Lying in bed alone and missing the warmth of the one that was rooms away, he’d think back to their rooftop rendezvous with an aching sense of bittersweet longing.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said — you know about how you missed dancing with me and I said we dance together every day.  I knew what you really meant.  It’s not the same,” Jaebum says.  “How can it be when our choreography is designed for seven people now?  When there are five extra members living in our dorm?”

He hadn’t thought Jaebum understood his feelings then, not really, but hearing Jaebum talk, he starts to think maybe he kind of got it.

“But I don’t resent them,” Jinyoung tells him, because it’s important that Jaebum understands that too.

“I know you don’t, I don’t either.”  It’s true that he’d been overwhelmed and hadn’t paid enough attention to Jinyoung, but knowing Jinyoung was there, always there, kept him sane and calm and from breaking down those times when everything became too much to handle.  “Honestly I think I was just happy and focused on the fact that I was still able to dance with you everyday.  It didn’t matter to me if there were three, five, or ten other people.  As long as I still had you by my side, it seemed like everything would be okay.”

The words Jaebum says leave him momentarily speechless, because thank you seems inadequate and not nearly enough.  So he takes Jaebum’s hand in his and holds onto it, entwining their fingers together.

Jaebum smiles as he looks at their joined hands.  “I’ve got a surprise for you, it’s why I brought you up here actually.”

“Really?” he asks, a little thrown by the sudden change in topic.  His eyes search the rooftop but he finds nothing out of the ordinary.  “Where?”

“It’s not where, it’s what.  You know our Japan showcase coming up?  We’re going to perform “Bounce,” I talked with Park Jinyoung PDnim and he okayed the idea.”

“Wait, hyung?  Are you serious?”  The smile on his face easily rivals the brightness of the sun outside.

“It’s all seven of us,” Jaebum hurries to add, hoping the news won’t dim Jinyoung’s smile too much.  “It wouldn’t be fair to exclude the others, but I did get his approval that we can have the ending… just the two of us dancing together.  I know it might not be enough—”

“It’s enough,” Jinyoung interrupts.  “It’s more than enough.”  And it is, it absolutely is.  To everyone else it may not seem like a big deal or anything special, but to him, it’s something that’s priceless.  “Thank you hyung.”

This time there’s no manager to suddenly barge in or five other members to worry about, and he leans forward and finally finally kisses Jaebum.  

Their first kiss has been a long time coming — a lot of uncertainty, ups and downs, and feelings being denied — but it’s worth the wait.  The road they walk on may have grown wider to accommodate more people, but what’s important is that they’re both walking the same path.  

“I take it you like my surprise then?”

“It’s perfect,” Jinyoung answers.  “Absolutely perfect, just like you.”

Jaebum grins and gives into the temptation that is Jinyoung and kisses him again, pulling him closer and closer.  They’re both a little breathless when they break apart, and several seconds pass before Jaebum manages to find his voice.

“The kids are probably wondering where we are.  We should get snacks and feed them, otherwise we may have a riot on our hands.”  

“Riot? Hmm, yeah, yeah sure. Let’s get food.”  Jinyoung’s still a little lost in Jaebum’s kiss, as he heads towards the door in a semi-daze.

“Hey, wait up,” Jaebum calls out and hurries to catch up, slinging an arm around Jinyoung’s shoulder when he reaches him.  “Let’s go together.”

“Together,” Jinyoung repeats, looking at Jaebum and they’re both wearing matching smiles, “together sounds just right.”

FIN

__________

Inspired by GOT7 performing “Bounce.”

Comments/constructive criticism/fangirling always welcomed!

(I'm sick, and I have a busy weekend :( It may take a few days, but I'll reply to all comments.)