Date: June 11^th, 2011
Location: Home
Time: 5:00AM

I woke up to the incessant ringing of my phone. I groaned loudly as I reached for it on my bedside table with my eyes still closed. It could not possibly be time to wake up, I thought. I felt like I just fell asleep minutes ago. I rubbed my eyes and opened them slightly - it was a call, from Jiyong. What?

Immediately alert, I picked up and cleared my throat. “Hello?”

“Hey, I know it’s early, but… there’s something you need to know.” He sounded exhausted, and his voice was hoarse.

“What?” I replied worriedly.

“It’s…” he paused and I heard a huge sigh.

“Oppa, what is it?” I pressed him, my heart starting to beat fast with anxiety.

“Dispatch posted an article about us last night. Now the public thinks we’re dating.”

“About us? But -” I shook my head, confused. There was no way people could’ve found out about our kiss - we were alone. Plus, we weren’t even officially together. There was no way the tabloids could be onto us before anything even happened between us. “Did someone see us in the practice room?”

“No, they have other pictures.”

“What other pictures?”

He sighed again and said, “I can’t really explain, Zoe. I’m sorry - just google it.”

I tried to keep calm despite my racing heart. “No it’s okay, oppa. I’ll check it out now.” I scrambled out of bed and flipped open my laptop. It didn’t take long before I found the article, because it was on the headlines for all major entertainment news websites.

“Oh ,” I breathed, as I scrolled through the photos. There were photos of us during our group hangouts, photos from other people’s Instagrams, and even a clip from BigBang’s official YouTube channel, where the camera caught Jiyong checking up on me after I tripped before that first performance. However, we were only in frame after my fall, so all viewers could see was Jiyong holding me close.

“I’m sorry,” Jiyong said after a while.

I sat back in my chair and ran my fingers through my messy hair. “It’s fine. We can just deny it right? We can explain these things or even ignore these accusations - they don’t actually have substantial evidence. There isn’t even a photo of just two of us in it.” He was silent, so I continued. “It’s fine. I’m… I can handle this or whatever happens next. Just tell me how to damage control or what plans YG PR have, and I’ll go along with it.”

“It’s more complicated than that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I…,” he trailed off. “Do you think we can meet up? We need to talk about this in person. I’m at the studio right now. I can send someone to pick you up.”

“I’ll drive there.” With that, I hung up and scrambled to get ready.

Within fifteen minutes, I found myself walking into Jiyong’s studio for the first time. I didn’t have time to marvel at the equipment and set up before I was enveloped in his hug. I was stunned at first, but I quickly wrapped my arms around him in return. He buried his face into the crook of my neck and apologized again.

“Stop apologizing, oppa. How is this your fault? I’m fine, really.” I reassured him.

He pulled back and studied my face. He had dark circles under his eyes and his eyes were slightly red and puffy from staying up all night. The sight of him being so tired broke my heart. “Have you looked at netizen reactions?” he asked after awhile.

I froze and shook my head. Thank god my social media accounts are private was the first thought that popped into my head after he said that.

“It’s bad,” he said, still studying me.

“Well, okay. I expected that,” I replied matter-of-factly. I mean, how else were these fan girls going to respond? I’ve seen what happened to Kiko when she was rumored to be Jiyong’s girlfriend. VIPs and the like bashed her and some people even sent her death threats. Why would I be any different, especially since I was a complete nobody?

He was silent again and then he chuckled softly, “I guess I underestimated you. You’re taking this surprisingly well.” He grabbed my hand and led me towards the sofa.

“What’s going to happen?” I asked after sitting down. “Will I still get to perform with you? Will I get replaced?”   

“I can’t give you an answer about that right now. We’ll have a meeting about that later today.” He ran his hand through his disheveled hair and sighed for the upteenth time. There was a pained expression on his face, and I knew he was beating himself up for the troubles he was about to cause me.

Unable to hold his gaze any longer, I leaned back and let the sofa cushion me. I looked around for a while before meeting his eyes again. He was holding back something. He was looking for the courage to say it. “What is it, oppa?” I asked, even though I knew the answer.

He trailed his thumb over the back of my hand, and said quietly, “We have to keep our distance from now on. Until this passes, at least.”

My chest tightened at his words, but I nodded anyway.

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Just really bad timing, I guess,” I shrugged sadly. “I mean… we’re not actually in a relationship. We still have a long way to go.” I tried to sound nonchalant, but I could hear my voice quivering slightly.

“This is happening all over again. I thought…” He let out a shaky breath and then chuckled at his own show of weakness. He shook his head and then covered his face with his hands.

“Oppa…” I put my hand gently on his shoulder, attempting to comfort him.

He pulled me in for another tight hug, his hand caressing the back of my head gently. He whispered, “I really like you, you know that right?”

 I nodded and hugged him tighter. He kissed my temple in response.

Suddenly, the door of the studio opened. We pulled apart quickly to see the Big Bang members and their managers staring at us, completely shocked.

“You-” Seungri began.

“You should go,” Jiyong said to me gently, but loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. He gave my hand a little squeeze before standing up, bringing me with him. Still somewhat shell-shocked, I blinked for a second before hurrying out. Without saying another word, everyone just stood aside and made way when I passed by. Seunghyun shot me a worried glance.

When I was reached the car park, I leaned against wall and let out a huge breath. It was hard for me to comprehend what just happened and for the first time since the incident, a tear slid down my face. I quickly swiped it with the back of my hand, laughing slightly at how silly I was. Although my heart was clenched, I convinced myself that everything would be all right.

It wouldn’t. At least not for a long while.