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*Almost purely dialogue and crack. No actual story line. Quite short. Read with discretion. And PS. I don't care about your grammar issues... Eat your dictionary.*
"I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light." -Hellen Keller
Tiffany is new on her school. She's a transfer student from America. She's a bubbly girl and outgoing. She easily became friends with everyone, from students to janitors on her school. She's a social butterfly and always on parties. Everybody wants to talk to her, except that girl sitting isolately on the fourth row, and that girl is Taeyeon. A social outcast.
Taeyeon is known for her quiet persona. Actually, nobody really knows that girl. And it's a doubt if she really has friends. She's more of an observer than a talker. She hates people or rather the act of socializing. Taeyeon attends class and sit on her chair immoveable every damn day.
It's been two weeks since Tiffany transferred on their school she basically became friends with everyone, and yet, she hasn't talk to Taeyeon. So today, she did.
She approached Taeyeon who's sitting silently on her chair as she's looking in the window.
"Hey! I'm talking to you!
"Won't you say hi?"
"I just feel like it."
"I like you."
"That's not what I meant."
"Oh, do I have to care?"
"I would like to talk to you."
"Well, I don't like to."
"Everybody likes me!"
"I'm not everybody so scram."
"You mean, you're unique?"
"Then, that makes me like you more. Let's be friends!"
"I don't need friends, I have food."
"You need someone to share your food!"
"I don't like sharing."
"I like your personality... Strong girl, eh? We can be BFFs!"
"No, thank you."
"You can't do anything about it."
Tiffany worked hard and followed Taeyeon almost everywhere to win her friendship, but she's always been thrown out and rejected. Today, she found the best way to convince the latter.
"Damn it Tiffany, I'm going to pee!" Taeyeon yelled as she struggled to open the cubicle door that the latter was blocking
"Have lunch with me!"
"I said no! Now let me through before I right in front of you!"
"Wait, ? You said you'll just pee?"
"Well, now you know I'm ting. Let me through!"
"Nah girl, just say yes. Is it too much to have lunch with me?"
", I'm going to hate you forever if I in my pants."
"I'll buy you diapers."
"Well, I already before your diaper comes."
"How about toilet paper?"
"ing , I'm not having this ty convo with you. I really have to badly!"
"Just say yes!"
"Ah! Yes! Yes! Now, disappear and evaporate out of my sight!"
"Cool, see you later!" Tiffany winked and Taeyeon rushed inside the cubicle.
"AH, GOOD HEAVENS!" Her voice can be heard outside and the red head just giggled and said "I won!"
Despite of the two having frequent forced lunch together initiated by Tiffany, Taeyeon remained distant and grumpy towards the latter. Tiffany basically thrown her entire self and efforts to Taeyeon but still cannot win her friendship. On their physical education swimming class, she just stared and sighed as Taeyeon and her other classmates were having their practical exams.
Taeyeon can't swim so she drown.
"Oh, !" Tiffany immediately jumped on the pool to save her.
"Thank you for saving me." Taeyeon said as she coughed the remaining water on .
"Wait!..You still need CPR!"
", do it and you're the one I'll drown on the pool."
"Nah , you can't even swim because you got short legs."
"Your legs ain't even long, redhead."
"Are we BFFs now? You owe me one."
"Do I have a choice?"
And that's the start of their beautiful friendship... Well, if calling each other is beautiful that's it.
Their friendship isn't perfect. Taeyeon got so many reason to reconsider her friendship with Tiffany.
---> Tiffany always has this last song syndrome and Taeyeon has to bear it all the time they are together.
"You listen to that song almost every damn day we are together."
"I listen to this song every minute."
"I'm surprised your ear hasn't bled."
"I have a pen... I have an apple."
"Oh, Lawd. I cried the first time I heard that song... It was life changing. It brought sense to my world."
"I know right, so good!"
"What the actual the friendship did I signed up for?!"
"Frooom the othersideeeee..."
"Are you high?"
"I swear, Adele has three lungs."
"Cool, she can smoke vape everyday."
"Idiot, her voice has so many octave."
"Your voice got so many octaves when you see bugs too."
"I know right, Adele 2.0. Your voice has higher octaves when you're in bed too."
"Oh, shut the up."
---> Tiffany likes shopping so much until she can't walk properly.
"Are you Dora the Explorer?"
"No, swiper no swipping."
"You've been swipping your card in stores. I bet your daddy's proud of you."
"He is... He said he'll sell his kidney for me. Oh, well... Where's that damn Hello Kitty store?"
"We've been walking for three hours straight because of your Hello Kitty obssession. Can you take a chill pill and google map the exact store location?"
"I can't, I typed my heart on google map and the GPS said It's located on you."
"I'm trying to find where the ing sense of your answer goes... But it says nowhere."
"I love you!"
"Unicorns and rainbows."
---> Tiffany's so clingy...sticky like a gum that's stuck on your shoe.
"Nah, not a hugger."
"But I am!" Tiffany latched herself on the latter as they walked down the street
"Ooofff! Yah, get off!"
"I'm tired walking, carry me on your back."
"More damn to come."
The pig was heavy... And the back was sore.
---> Tiffany's a cry baby
"How did your date go?"
"He's handsome, and charming."
"Oh, sounds like a keeper... But why do you look deflated?"
"He's a vegetarian." Tiffany started sobbing
"H-He s-said n-no meat a-and cheese f-for the pizza... What would I eat? A ing dough?! He even made me drink broccoli shake! Worst night of my life."
"So, no kiss?"
"Roses are red, violets are blue. Broccolis are green and so as your mind."
"I learned from the best."
"You change your boyfriends like you change your clothes."
"You never changed your boyfriend because you never had one and you dreamed to be a nun."
", fight me!"
"Uh-huh! You'll lose shortie!"
And it was a long violent night.
They graduated college together and it's been years since the two started working in adult world. But they stick together. They always have this Friday night out to remain their contacts with each other. They met on a restaurant to dine in together.
Fifth: Find it yourself, I'm too ing tired to explain.
"I have a friend?!" Taeyeon said shockly
"I know right, I'm the only one who can stand you, so bear with me." Tiffany said smugly
"Damn, this resto looks fancy for our BFF date! You're paying, okay?"
"What's new? I always pay for your anyway."
"You're a cute little rich girl and you love me."
"Gee, you need some sugar."
"Can't, I'm already your sugar mommy and I had coffee that made me bitter."
"The resto looks packed."
"Yeah, let me ask the waiter...Excuse me, are there anymore seats on the second floor?"
"No ." said a Japanese guy
"I'm sorry, what?"
"No No No... No ."
"Excuse me, are you calling me ?"
"Tiffany, don't start a fight. He said no seat you idiot."
"Oh... I ain't starting a fight, ."
"Oh, cool. Want me to pull your hair in public?"
", fight me!"
"Take queu." The japanese waiter said to the two
"Did he said thank you?"
", clean your ears. He said take queu... We have to wait."
"Don't call me ."
"I can't, you are."
"Okay, I'm fabulous ."
"You sound like a drag queen."
"You sound like you're a regular on strip clubs."
"No, I ain't hooking."
", hasn't get laid."
"I lay on my bed everynight, thank you."
"Like who doesn't?" Tiffany rolled her eyes.
"Night shift people."
"The table is ready." said the waiter
"Thank you... Let's go and eat BFF!"
"Oh, there goes the food vacuum." Taeyeon facepalmed
After they went out of the resto...
"I'm broke as ..."
"At least you're not heart broken... Just like me."
"Why do you always have to eat a lot of ramen whenever you break up with guys?"
"Because ramen is best type of men."
"And I become the ATM."
"You know I'm a worthless jobless creature this week... I gotta find a job soon to pay my rent."
"You can stay in my place if you want."
"Providing that you don't bring your boyfriends inside my apartment."
"Silly, of course I won't!... I only got one oppa in my life."
"Kim Soo Hyun!"
"Well, if you bring Kim Soo Hyun inside my apartment, I don't mind. We can have ."
", I ain't sharing. His picture melted my ice cream once due to his hotness."
"God bless his face."
"I know, I need his genes for my offspring."
"Oh, I thought you're gay?"
"You're a piece of ."
"I know, we both are."
The two became roomies, and it was chaotic.
"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME THAT MADAFAKA?!"
"YOUR HAIR IS EVERYWHERE IN THE BATHROOM! DO YOU HAVE CANCER OR SOMETHING?!"
", you ain't bald. Some of those hairs are yours!
"Oh, yeah? My shampoo's fancy that I do not have any hair fall."
"I thought only hearts are falling, now even hair does."
"Shut up, drama queen... Anyway, what'ya doing? You've been staring in front of your laptop for hours."
"I'm watching ."
" please, it's not like you don't watch one."
"I don't watch but I do read it, thank you."
"No , you must have high imagination! What book? Is it the legendary 50 shades?"
"Nah, mangas are the best."
"I searched on google and your name appeared on the top list."
"I searched stupid on google and your name appeared on the top list."
"Wow. You're so gay."
"And so are you for watching gay ... Shoo, let's have food instead! Man vs Food!"
"Awww! Best idea that came from you! I didn't know you have a brain!"
"Well, I have to have one because my friend doesn't have one."
"Well, I'm beautiful and drop dead gorgeous."
"Yeah, I'm ugly as hell you narcissistic ."
"Yeah, you self-loathing ... "
"I came into Halloween party last year, and I won the best costume."
"What did you came up for?"
"My ed up sleepless self."
"You're always ed up and sleepless ."
"Shrek called me, he wants his face back."
"We're both beautiful."
"Should I blush right now?"
"Yes, blushing is in order."
"I love you."
"I love myself too."
"I'm not your child."
"You're a piece of ."
"And so as my baebae."
"Taeyeon! You've been camping inside your room the entire weekend! Let's party!"
"Nah, let me pass."
"No! You're coming with me."
"Do I have a choice?"
---> Tiffany kiss everyone when she's drunk... Even inanimated objects.
"Tiffany, you've been making out with the pole for hours. Let's go home."
"No, I just wanna dance the night away... I'm not going home, I'm here to stay."
"Then, I'm leaving."
"Taeeeyeeeon, leeet meeee giiive yooouuu a smoooch!"
"ing help me, I'm being by my best friend!"
And that night, the redhead scored.
After long hours of work, Taeyeon saw Tiffany in front of the door step, sobbing.
"What happened to you?" She kneeled and hug the latter
"T-Taeyeon... H-He d-died... He's gone!" Tiffany sobbed harded
"W-What... W-Who died?...Sssh... I'm so sorry." Taeyeon continued to comfort the latter until she cried too. "D-Don't cry... You'll make me cry too!"
"I'm so sad."
"Sssh... I'm here."
"Why d-does he h-have to die?"
"I-I'm sorry... W-Who's he?"
"Harambe... Why does he have to die?!"
"ING , YOU MADE ME CRY BECAUSE A MONKEY DIED?!"
"HARAMBE'S NOT A MONKEY! HARAMBE IS A ING GORILLA! HE'S A HERO!"
"OH, YEAH? THE , I THOUGHT SOMEONE DIED!"
"SOMEONE REALLY DIED!"
", I'm not talking to you. I'm done."
"Hey, come back here! Where's my takoyaki?"
"Inside my stomach. It's becoming every second."
"You're a piece of ."
---> Violence at its best
Taeyeon just woke up and made her way out of the kitchen until someone slapped her face. She was greeted by her hyped-friend.
"OUCH! YAH, . WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?!"
"I got my Iphone 7! I'm so ing excited to use it!" The redhead said excitedly
", my nokia 3310 was far stronger than your ing iphone."
"You're low tech."
"And you're ing mainstream."
"Can you make me a sandwich?"
"You have legs to go to the toaster."
"Good morning ."
"And to you too, ."
Years have passed, they're still together.
"Taeyeon, I'm turning 26 and still single. I think I might ended up with you!... Oh, I think I'm getting fat. Your self-loathing attitude is contagious."
" please, I'm too gorgeous for you."
"But you're gay!"
"Aren't you attracted to me? I'm perfect."
"Taeyeon... I think I'm in love..."
"T-Tiff... I-I... I-It's happening s-so fast... a-and..."
"I think I'm in love with myself... Damn, I'm so perfect." Tiffany said as she admired herself in a mirror
", you got me nervous there."
"We've been living together for years. Basically, I've seen you , touched your and kissed you more than your boyfriends do."
"That's because you're peeking you shameless ."
"I'm your wife."
"No, I'm your mother."
"You didn't conceived me."
"Baby, I don't have to. You're a mushroom that sprout automatically on Earth."
"You look so highschool to be my mom."
", I ain't highschool."
"You shouldn't made your PE uniform your PJS, you look like you stopped growing at 12."
"Well, I'm immortal."
"Yeah... I don't know what's tighter, my jeans or our friendship. Come to think of it, we've been friends for years!"
"Unfortunately, we are."
"It took you so long to be my friend."
"But it's worth it, isn't it?"
"I knew you were worth it the first time I saw you."
"I wasn't sure at first but I now know you are."
"Let's be friends forever until we grow old and call each other until our hair turn to gray."
"Your future husband won't agree."
"Well, I'm still single so that husband thing is a blurred sight. I might as well go to the convent with you and sing 'How do you solve a problem like Maria?'"
"I ing love Sound of Music!"
" please, I saw you drooling while we were watching that film!"
"Because it took 3 hours!... And the convent doesn't accept es like you."
"And like you too."
"I'm glad we're friends now, I never thought you're this y tho."
" I never thought you are too... But seriously speaking, being friends with you is the best thing that happened in my life. You changed me. We're so different and yet we clicked. There are a lot of things that made me wanted to reconsider our friendship but those things and your flaws are proof that you're worth it and I will love you no matter who you are and even you look ugly without make up, I'll still accept you. And like the usual, I'll break the noses of guys who will dare to hurt you and make you cry."
"Your fist is too short for that."
"Way to ruin the moment."
"And I was the drama queen."
"You still are."
"I promise to keep pretending as your lesbian lover whenever you're getting hit on by an ugly in a bar."
"I promise not to act socially acceptable when I'm with you so you won't look stupid doing unhumane things alone."
"Thank you for being my friend... Let's be friends forever?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"Okay then, I'm too lazy to find a new one anyway. Pinky promise."
True friends are someone that stays in high and low times of your life. You don't pick them nor they pick you. They come automatically by destiny. They are angels in devil's disguised. They are someone you can hate and love at the same time. They know all the and stupid things about you but still chose to stay. It is the closest thing that you can ever compared to love.
A true friend is someone you swear pinky promise and someone you know will not break it.
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