I'm not feeling the pain anymore as I used to feel the same day last year. I didn't move on, instead I'm still in denial, because to me you are still living somewhere far away from us, away from the pain you felt. It's okay, Jonghyun. Only your happiness matters to us. Reading all these condolence messages and "I miss you"letters, I still can't believe that you are not near us. Maybe one day, when I see you again some where, I'll smile to myself that I wasn't wrong. Forever, you.
I never really got into shinee or Jonghyun before it happened and I’m not going to pretend that I liked him before, but when I saw yeri and taeyeon people who I love crying for him I decided that I wanted to know him better. I started listening to his music and watched funny videos of him all while feeling sad that he is gone. I wish I could have been a fan while he was still alive so I could have stood by him even when it would not have made a difference. I think the worst thing about it is is how he never got proper help, all this “therapists” told him to get over himself and everyone swept it under the rug and never talked about it. I think the people who were really there for him were s and taeyeon who was and still is going through the same feelings. I hope jonghyun is resting in peace
Hey Jonghyun, it's been a year already huh? You're gone now but you'll still live within the hearts of everyone who loves you. Thank you for everything, Jonghyun. You did so well. You've brought so much happiness to the lives of so many people and we are grateful to you for that. We only wish there could have been more to do for you. You deserved the world, Kim Jonghyun. We miss you so much but we pray that you are in a better place where you can be free and happy. Please watch over us and guide us to live our best lives in honour of you. And I hope you know that no one blames you for what happened, we love you and always will love you. You were the shining star on stage and now you're the shining star we all see when we look up to the sky. Take care.
Hey jong-ah.
It's been a year since you've been gone. A really long year at that. When I found out what happened I thought and felt so many things but the biggest emotion was guilt.
Hours before everything occurred I had a strange feeling. Something i can only describe as an unbearable urge to reach out to you. I didn't know what it was or why I suddenly felt that way. And then, when the urge was too much was when I found out what happened.
My sudden intentions and emotions have never been wrong, they have prepared me for deep blows, have saved me more than once and yet at the moment when you needed someone the most I simply did not even attempt to find a way, any way at all to try and get to you.
I know I am just a random fan and that the chances of be getting in touch with you were minuscule yet I didn't even try. I cannot describe the guilt that I felt during those first weeks, the guilt that I feel when I remember you suddenly.
During the first months I couldn't even hear your voice or read your name. It was too much for me, the guilt and the pain just kept eating me alive. Your music saved me, yet I didn't even try to safe you.
It's gotten better though, I hope your proud of me for that. It started small, listening to Shinee's new songs then their old songs and finally your own solos. I still can't read anything with you in it though or watch anything with you in it. I watched some videos today, as tribute to you and I cried through every single one. Perhaps I will be able to be okay soon, but for now I will probably avoid videos of you. Story after story has been sitting in my offline since mid 2017 and simply seeing the names makes me want to scream and cry. Perhaps I will be able to read them soon as well.
Perhaps it is the many things that are going on in my life right now but this day was really hard and perhaps it will always be hard. But I'm going to try, try to live normally. I will help those who are also hurting too.
I hope you are happy where you are, looking down at us and laughing that contagious laugh that always made us all smile.
I love you Jong-ah. I hope one day you can forgive me and I hope I can also forgive myself.
At 2:32am ET it will have been exactly one year to the minute that he was pronounced dead. At 8:49am tomorrow it will be one year since my friend told me he was gone. I was in denial for probably a full 5 months before I truly realized your were gone. That was the first time I actually managed to cry. When my friend first told me I thought it was a joke. When I realized it wasn’t, it really hit me hard. Ive coped with dark thoughts for many years, and while I had gotten better, this really sent me back down the pit of misery. But at the same time I saw how the community responded. I saw how much people cared. I realized how much I MYSELF cared. This has all hit us hard, but I hope all of you let your grief out in a good way.
Please rest well in heaven. We will all miss you forever but we all hope you’re in a better place now...
It’s been a year already, wow how fast have this year gone by? Even though I really miss him, I never ever felt that he is not here with me, with us, due to both Shinee and Shawols effort and love for him. Shinee never failed to include him in their stages and Shawols always bring up good memories about him. Even his friend, groups like Exo, Taeyeon, IU, everyone still treasure him and still hold him close in their heart. Even though he is not physically here with us, memories of his talents, his songs, his sympathetic personality, his lesson and message to us, especially his actions still remains superior in our heart. Thank you Jonghyun, even though I am still sad about your departure, I’m always happy knowing that you are at a better place now, a place where you can be yourself, where you can be happy without the high pressure from this world. Thank you for bringing joy to us, you will always be our angel! Let’s go bling bling
I feel like the only thing that I can do is play your songs, remember the good times, watch the videos that made me become a fan in the first place. But it is so hard knowing that you are gone, that you are no longer on this earth. It hurts that it has been a year without your beautiful presence but I know that you wouldn't want me to be sad. I will remember you the way you were, the way you made me laugh, the way you brightened my day by hearing your voice and by your beautiful songs. I will remember you the way you would want to be remembered. I hope you know that you are missed and that your light and your joy and your art are never ever going to die, we won't let it. So rest well our angel Bling Bling Jonghyun, you did well.
I know everyone is feeling sad and down but let's be strong together. I'm sad too but I think we are going to be okay because he is watching over us. I hope wherever our angel is he is doing fine. Let's help each other and pray for his soul. Jonghyun, you have worked hard and thank you for the every moment you made us happy and smile. Love you.
It has been one year since our angel has returned back to heaven. I will always remember him. His voice helped me during times where I needed the most comfort. This year was really tough. I had to study really hard for my O'Levels and cope with the stress given by teachers and parents. Just right before the start of the important exams, I lost a friend. Someone that I have known for two years. If only I knew what he was going through, I could have saved him. It hurts knowing that when your friend was going through something difficult and you can't save him. It . I hate it. He was just only sixteen. Like our angel, he was really young. Jonghyun, he was such a bright and kind superstar that shines so brightly in the sky. Though one year has passed, I am still not over the fact that he is really gone. I really miss him and I want to ignore the reality. He was really an angel and legend. Now, we can only say 'rest in peace' and hope that he received our message. Jonghyun-ah! You have worked hard!
15/12/2018
The day of IU 10th anniversary concert in Singapore
On the stage, she wished to sing a song for the person. So she switched her mic to the pearl aqua green mic, giving signal to her music director that which song she was going to sing.
Under the stage, among the audience, she wondered why the singer changed her mic. She didn't know the reason until the singer sang the first lyric. She let up a gasp and covered when she heard the familiar lyrics. "Aish!" She cursed while the tear started to run down her face. The tears continued to drop more when she heard his voice from the backing track.
" 우울depressed~~"
The singer finished and changed back her original purple mic, continued her concert with her another song.
The audience wiped her tear, continue to listen the singer introducing her next song.
They really missed him.
<Depression Clock>
When time passes,
the breakup that tore my heart apart
When time passes,
the young memories that kicked away at the blankets
It gets forgotten, gets forgotten,
it just passes right by
It gets forgotten, gets forgotten,
but back then I thought that was everything
Kind of been wanting to throw up all day but I know he’d rather me go to work and do everything I need to do rather than be depressed all day so that’s what I did. I just hope that the rest of SHINee is doing okay today. It has to be.... there is no word that really describes what they must be feeling... I’m just going to pray for them and keep supporting them. Hope all the Shawol are doing okay. Love you all ❤️❤️
Dear Jonghyun-ah,
I know, a long time of ten months have passed, and I have grown not to accept the fact that you are not with us anymore, still. I don't think about you everyday, but when I see the blue sky and the white clouds of morning and the night sky's moon still there- I remember how you left us in the middle. You didn't leave us behind, it's just an abrupt way of turning around from us. You wanted to chase your happiness in the way that's not ideal, but by all means, I wish you find your peace that was taken away from you by this ugly world. I smile when I see SHINee and when I see you, I don't cry anymore. I guess the words of how you don't want to be looked with sympathy and be remembered as one who rocked the stage stuck to my mind and I stopped lamenting on how you are not here with us. I still wish this was all a bad dream and that I can wake up to find you that you are still alive. The one thing that stuck to my teen life and kept my sanity in check were you guys. SHINee is special to me, they are the trend setters of KPOP. showed world what Kpop is and you saved my teen life.
Thank you shinee, for sticking with me through music.
In a week's time, I won't be a teen anymore.
And I wish to convey my gratitude for god send angels who lingered around my dark phase then.
I hate that you are not here, but I love that you are in everyone's heart. Dear angel Jongie, thank you.
Rest in peace, my love.
Just going to share it here since I don't have anyone else to share with...
It's been almost 10 months since this angel left and I still find it so hard to think about. I don't even have anyone I feel comfortable enough to talk about it with since no one understands how much Jonghyun means to me and sometimes, I still feel like I just want to cry over his death since I feel hopeless sometimes since the moment I first saw Jonghyun's face and smile, it gave me a sign of hope and the reminder that life is worth living and my goals were achievable. It just makes my heart ache so much thinking about it, especially since I've been listening to Shinee for 8 years since I was only still in 5th grade. It just feels almost too painful to listen to Shinee's songs nowadays without being able to hear your beautiful voice anymore. Oppa, you worked so hard and you did well. You were perfect the way you were.
I've long been contemplating whether I should write this or not. All I can say that it still hurts to know that an angel has passed. I was overseas when I first heard the news. It had already been quite a terrible day when the chatroom I was in was talking about Jonghyun. I was in a state of shock and felt numb for several days. While other boy groups are now my favourites, Shinee always have a special place in my heart. Way back in 2008, my dad showed me Big Bang's Haru Haru. While it was a nice song, I just couldn't get into the group. The following year, Shinee's Ring DIng Dong + Lucifer came out and they were my jams. Shinee were the group that pulled me into Kpop. Some of the other comments here are quite alarming and I hope that everyone knows that there is always someone there to support you. I'm sure Jonghyun is having fun and teaching Ring Ding Dong to other people. And hanging out with Eunbi and Rise from Ladies Code, Minwoo from 100%, Dongyoon from Spectrum & others. Thank you Jonghyun & the rest of Shinee, for introducing me to Kpop without which I would probably not have as much joy in my life. Jonghyun, you worked hard. Have some well deserved rest.
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