Here's chapter eight. It's a few hours late because I slept in ^.^ Saturday, yay.

Chapter 8 – Only For Work

On the first official day of their break, three of the members left. Hongbin and Ken had decided to spend the night with their families, and Hyuk was going to spend two so that the trip was worth it.

With the two of the loudest members gone, it was quiet and peaceful and–

“It’s so boring!” N cried for the tenth time since dinner.

Leo was enjoying the time with just his music and Ravi was composing, only N was having trouble occupying himself… all day. Finally, after Leo begins whining about how noisy he is, N settles down to watch dance videos and catch up with what other groups were doing lately.

After lunch the following day N drags the two members from their self-imposed seclusion and to the table. “Let’s play truth or dare!” he suggests.

Leo’s eyebrows shoot up and Ravi frowns. “With three people? Isn’t that boring?”

“No, we’ll get to know each other again.”

Both Ravi and Leo sigh, a lot of the time it’s easier to go along with the leader. “Fine.”

N grins at his victory. “Leo, truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“I dare you to make me tea.”

Ravi and Leo blink at him. “You’re so boring, hyung,” Ravi mutters and Leo nods.

“Just go make it.”

Leo makes his way to the kitchen to make tea and Ravi takes his turn.

They play for almost two hours, usually lapsing into normal conversations about topics brought up in the questions than playing the actual game, which was half of N’s reason for wanting to play.

“I have to pee and call Hongbinnie, you guys ask each other questions,” N says standing up.

The two members stare after him for several seconds before Ravi sighs. “Hyung, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“How many relationships have you been in?”

Leo’s eyes snap to his, wide with surprise. Leo had avoided questions like that so far, both when asked in private and when the group was talking about things like this. Leo feels his cheeks heat and claps his hands over them.

“Well?” Ravi prompts, holding back his usual ‘you’re cute’ comment.

“N-none,” Leo mutters.

“What?” Ravi cries, actually surprised. He’d thought Leo must have dated at least once before debut. “Have you ever kissed anyone?”

Leo’s cheeks get even redder. “Only for work.”

Both of them are completely surprised when Ravi suddenly shoots forward and presses his lips to Leo’s. It’s really nothing more than a peck but both of them turn ridiculously red as they pull away.

“What?”

They jump and turn to the door. There is Ken. His mouth is open and his eyes are wide.

“Hyung…Ravi…what?”

A million different emotions are swirling through Leo, but for the most part he’s scared and confused. Ravi sees utter hurt in his eyes and in turn feels hurt. Leo gets to his feet impossibly fast and disappears into the bedroom just as quickly. The door slams shut behind him, drawing N from the bathroom, phone still pressed to his ear.

“I’ll call you back in a minute, Binnie,” he says, hastily hanging up. “What happened?”

Ravi, who feels both exhilarated and mortified, shakes his head. Ken points at Ravi and then at the bedroom door. “They were kissing!”

“What?” N asks with a tone of disbelief as he walks forward to join them in the room.

“They were kissing,” Ken repeats, quieter this time.

N looks at the rapper with raised eyebrows. “Ravi?”

Ravi looks up at N, his expression one of complete shock. “I-I didn’t, I didn’t mean to… It just happened, hyung. Why did I do that?”

“Is Ravi gay?” Ken asks.

Ravi shakes his head, “No.”

“Is Leo-hyung gay?”

Ravi and N make eye contact, both unsure of what to do. Ken sees though and gasps. “No way!”

“Ken-ah,” N shushes him, worried about Leo. Ravi also gets defensive, surging to his feet, his own troubles forgotten for now.

Their worries were for nothing however because Ken smiled. “Why didn’t he tell me?” he asked.

When neither Ravi nor N answers him, Ken frowns. “Was he afraid of how we might react?”

“I think he is, yes,” N replies.

“Do any of the other members know?”

“Only N-hyung and me,” Ravi supplies simply, still feeling a little defensive. “You better keep it to yourself, Ken.”

Ken nods. “I will.” He glances at the bedroom door. “Should I go talk to him?”

“I’ll go,” Ravi says instantly. It takes a second for his whole face to suddenly turn red and he sinks back to the floor. “Actually, N-hyung should go.”

N gives Ravi a stern glance. “We’re talking about this later, Ravi-ah.”

Ravi sighs and nods, watching N enter the bedroom.

After fleeing to the bedroom Leo had grabbed his headphones and let himself slide down the wall on the opposite side of the room. There, with his head on his knees and music blasting in his ears, he tried not to think about anything, to not let the questions and emotions bubble to the surface. He failed.

He felt scared. What if Ken blurted to the world that he was gay? He could see it in the gossip headlines now. ‘VIXX Leo confirmed gay by members. Outcry from Starlights.’ Even his mother would probably stop talking to him after that.

He felt confused. Why had Ravi gotten into this topic in the first place? What made Ravi do that? Was that what a real kiss felt like? When there were feelings involved?

He felt embarrassed. What made him tell Ravi that he’d never dated anyone before? It was true, and it was embarrassing as hell. Why did he admit that he’d only ever kissed someone for work? It had been awkward and nerve-racking, but not necessarily bad.

But most of all, he felt betrayed by Ravi. Ravi was taking advantage of the fact that Leo was gay, right? Ravi probably thought that Leo would kiss anybody that was a guy, right? Did Ravi do it just to ? Or was it a pity kiss? Why did that make him feel worse?

Why did he have to like Ravi so much? Why?

A tap on his shoulder scared him and Leo ripped the headphones from his head, looking up to see the leader standing above him.

“Sorry, you didn’t hear me calling you,” N apologises, smiling sheepishly.

N looks at Leo then, notes the pink face and the watery eyes, and his smile drops. N sighs and sits down next to his friend, wrapping and arm around his shoulders. A few silent tears escape Leo but he hastily wipes them away.

“Ken’s okay with it, you know? He was actually kind of outraged that you didn’t tell him sooner,” N informs the singer. “Are you seeing a common theme here?”

“He’s okay with it?” Leo repeats, mostly in disbelief.

“Yep, barely batted an eye once he was over the initial shock.”

Leo can’t believe how relieved he feels to hear those words. Ken was okay with it? Would Hongbin and Hyuk also be okay with it? Should he tell them? Maybe if he got Ravi to tell them?

Leo hesitates, his cheeks heating as all of the swirling emotions resurface. “Did you talk to Ravi?”

N smiles a little, thinking of how flustered Ravi had been. He’d rarely seen Ravi have trouble getting words out. “Not really. He was kind of surprised at himself, I think.”

The younger member let his head drop into his arms again, still unsure of how he felt. “Was he using me?”

N barely catches the words, and when they register he smacks Leo in the head. “How can you even ask that? Isn’t Ravi close with you? Don’t you know him better than that? Why would you ask that?”

When Leo looks up, N feels his heart clench the way it always does when one of s is upset. Leo is crying now. It’s the kind of silent crying you wouldn’t be able to detect unless you were staring at his face. It was the same type of crying that caused the pillow stains N and the other members had pretended not to see more than once.

N feels his eyes prickle but refuses to cry. Instead he reaches out and brushes away the other member’s tears. “I think Ravi is just as confused and hurt about this as you are,” N says honestly. “Tonight I’ll talk to Ravi, and we’ll sort all of this out, okay?”

Leo nods a little and once again returns his head to his arms.

“Do you want me to stay here?” N asks gently.

When Leo shakes his head N isn’t surprised in the least. “Okay, text me if you want me to come back.”

N pats the other member’s head and then exits the room, briefly leaning against the door and sighing. N knows somehow that Leo likes Ravi. It was the only thing that would explain why he was taking it so incredibly hard. It must be hard, N thinks to himself, to like someone in the same group as you.

“This dorm was turning into the set of a drama,” he mutters, getting out his phone to call Hongbin back and see how far away from home he is.