Byun Jae Hyun’s Wish

I grew in the countryside of Jeju Island together with my twin older brother, Baek Hyun. I’m the one who protects my brother it’s because I’m so scared of losing him. Baek Hyun was suffering from heart failure. We barely went outside to play because of Baek Hyun’s sickly body. I’m felt so sad leaving him behind at the house. I rather stay beside my brother instead of playing outside with the other kids. We only have each other as we seldom relate ourselves to anyone when we reach our middle school times. But I and my older brother transferred in Seoul when my father’s business was designated in the capital. Since we’re the kids from countryside no one has tried to approach us, there were even times we were bullied by the city kids. But there’s a kid who came us, a tall and doe eyed brat. His name was Park Chan Yeol.
 
In our second year in Cheong Nam High School, I and my brother were separated in class. I was unfortunately stuck with my previous classmates in first year and the bullying has never ended. They threw my outsider shoes behind the school building that took me couple of hours to found. They vandalized my desk, put trash on my bag, tore pages of my textbooks and made me their gofer. I don’t mind doing all of those stupid things just they won’t lay a hand on my brother even in the tip of Baek Hyun’s hair.
And in the middle noon break of Wednesday, the group of bullies surrounded me on my desk. I just steadily sat down, my hand beneath my lap and silently jounced my eyes to them. I remember handling my whole week to them last Monday and I have nothing to give anymore.

“Hey, what should I do? I want the Lunch A-MEAL today, but spent all of your money yesterday” Jang Ha Ryu said.

I explained that I don’t have money to give except for the lunch that Mom has prepared for me. The latter swiped his hand on my desk and my lunch box pitiably fell down to the ground. The egg roll and sauté veggies deformedly spill to the bland floor. The sound of bashing has called the attention of my classmates even the students who pass by our classroom. And when I took a glimpsed on the window I saw my older brother with Chan Yeol passing by. I can’t explained how was my brother’s face looked like and all I can remember was, he’s already in front of my eyes when Ha Ryu was about to hit me in the head. But Ha Ryu shifted his arms to hit my brother but my motion was too late to stop it when Chan Yeol halted him.

“Take a rest on it” Chan Yeo, said.

“WH- WHAT?” Ha Ryu asked when he tried to struggle and moved his leg. But Chan Yeol abruptly stopped him and firmly squeezed his wrist. Chan Yeol slowly walked towards to the lockers behind our backs until Ha Ryu leaned to it.

“I’ll warn you once again, Take a rest on it. Okay?”  He said then quickly left the room.

After that event, the bullies never ganged on me again. Luckily, Chan Yeol was Baek Hyun’s classmate. I want to put my faith on him that he might prevent the bullies to target my beloved brother. If he stays beside my brother, I could feel so relief. From Baek Hyun’s help, I got to thanked him from it. And now my brother has always fetches me every lunch break. We go in the rooftop to grab our lunch boxes, together with him. Chan Yeol has become Baek Hyun’s closest friend and that’s a little bit the same with me. Chan Yeol often went to our house to play and frequently hang outside.

 

♦♦♣♦♦

 

In those days I get to think about him, in those hours I get to look at him, in those minutes I get to speak with him and in those moments I get to fell in love with Chan Yeol. My heart flustered every time I saw him and when he glanced back to me. My chest felt suffocated every time I saw him smiling next to Baek Hyun. I can tell that Chan Yeol likes Baek Hyun but I want to be selfish this time and tried my luck.
In our senior year in high school, the fall dutifully ends even though no one beckons it. In that year we were luckily designated in the same class. I took all the courage to call for Chan Yeol in the rooftop in the early morning. I never mentioned a word to Baek Hyun and it was never been my intention for him to notice it thou. Like what I said, I want to be selfish even just for one time.

“What’s the matter, Jae Hyun-ah?” Chan Yeol asked me as he fixed his crooked tie.

“Chan Yeol-lie, I, I want you think about it.” I said.

“About what?” he acquired.

“About me, having a feelings for you” I said when the wind suddenly wandered before us. The stillness caught in the air that restrained his startled eyes from moving. “I like you, Chan Yeol-lie”

“uhm, Ja-Jae Hyun-ah” he breathed and continued “o-“ I interrupted him.

“Please think about it” I said then quickly left, slamming the door gently.

The crimson blush rushed to my cheeks and ears when I looked thoroughly into the mirror at the washroom. My heart beats louder and faster than usual that causes me to breathe harder. I splashed the water on my face that disheveled my hair above my eyebrows and then headed out. I saw Chan Yeol sitting at the back staring to the landscape outside the window when I entered the room. I looked on Baek Hyun who momentarily arrived while complaining of leaving him behind without saying a word. I sit on my place, in front of Chan Yeol’s desk quietly. Baek Hyun sat beside Chan Yeol’s as I apologized and asked him to let it slide for one time.

Days gradually passed and the last day of weekend stopped by. I lay down on my bed as I wonder if he thinks of me. I stared at the ceiling where the glow-in-the dark stars were firmly stacked. In the moment of silence, my heart began fluttering and continued to wonder if he was thinking of me before he fell asleep just like me, when he’s bathing, when he’s eating, when he’s studying, when he’s watching TV even when he’s bored. I wonder if he thinks of me even just for a brief of seconds in those times. I found myself smiling when I thought of those possibilities.

The morning beautifully came when I woke up earlier than usual and noticed the flashed message on my phone. It was Chan Yeol.

Aug. 26, 2013
11PM

Jae Hyun-ah, Can you go early at school. Let’s meet in the same place.
I already have the answers.

-Park Chan Yeol

When I opened the door through the rooftop, Chan Yeol was leaning his back while his eyes kept closed. I softly called to his name. His eyelashes fluttered with the wind, the seconds he uplifted his eyes. He stared right through my eyes. I continue to walked towards him until we got closer, a half meter away. He spoke my name. My heart goes thudding louder than ever. He step a little bit closer. My face gets redder than before.

“Jae Hyun-ah, I’m happy how you feel about me. I’m really grateful to it.” I remember hearing the first few sentences clearer. “But” I lifted my head to him. “I’m sorry, no matter how I think of it, I can’t seem to feel the same” His voice was getting blurrier and blurrier to my ears, even became heavier to bear “I’m sorry, it’s because I already like someone”

“Oh-oh at least you thought o-of me, oh I see, chaesonghaeyo (excuse me)” I weakly said.

As usual, I’m always the first one to left the place. I ran while tears overflowed from my eyes. I escaped in the infirmary faking a stomach ache. I asked the school nurse if I could rest in the bed for a while. Good thing that she allowed me right away because I barely hold my tears. I pulled the white curtains to prevent anyone from seeing me. I hold my breath and covered my mouth using my hands. I declined anyone to hear my pathetic weeping. Tears rolled down from my cheeks, my hands and to the pillow where my head settling. I can’t help but to accept and acts as if nothing happened. I’m fully aware that Chan Yeol likes my Baek Hyun, but I didn’t expect that this rejection would affect me this much. I already assumed of the possibilities.
In that day, I cried all out my heart even the means of skipping the class.

I arrived home with fluffy eyes, I wore my old glasses but it seems it was not enough to fool them.

“Wh-what happened, Son?” Mom asked.

“Nothing Mom, I just recently watched a sad move. I’m sorry for skipping school today.” The half of my lies. “Don’t worry Mom, it’s really nothing.”

“Are you sure?” Baek Hyun asked. “Then I won’t asked any further”

“Hmm” I nodded and then headed to my room.

♦♦♣♦♦

Later on, in the coming of winter Baek Hyun told me that Chan Yeol confessed to him and they are now going out. They always went for a date. Chan Yeol rarely entered the house and usually waits for Baek Hyun in the garden.
One night, Baek Hyun went home with the best smile on his face after coming from amusement park. It was already the half of November and Chan Yeol’s birthday is about to come. In the excitement of telling that, an abrupt episode came to Baek Hyun. He slowly fell down to the floor. I froze in the scene before my eyes. Mom slapped me on the face begging me to get myself together. I called for an ambulance.
Baek Hyun was quickly brought to the ICU, they stacked the tubes, oxygen masked and things that are necessary for Baek Hyun. I sat at the cold bland made of steel chair outside the emergency together with mom, waiting for the doctor to come out. After two hours, the head nurse came out from the automatic glass door.

“Family of Mr. Byun Baek Hyun?” the nurse called.

“Yes, Yes, we’re Baek Hyun’s family. I’m his mother” my mom said.

“We’re transferring him now in the ward. He’s stable now” the nurse says, a doctor came next.

“(Eommo-nim) Mother, Can we talk to the office?” the doctor asked.

Mom and I followed the doctor to his office. He shows the diagnosis and test results of Baek Hyun’s case. The last and latest episode’s gap time were wide, Baek Hyun’s illness has been quiet for a quite time since it was already in bad shape. The doctor proposed for a surgery and a donor. He suggested that it was better for Baek Hyun to stay in the hospital while waiting. He’s not in a good condition to continue his schooling.

“Baek Hyun-nie, have you already mentioned this to Chan Yeol?” I asked to Baek Hyun peeling oranges for him.

“No, I don’t have any guts to tell him. I really can’t” Baek Hyun spoken.

“Then can I have a favor, Baek Hyun-nie?” I asked. I thought the possibility of losing Baek Hyun and holding for Chan Yeol at the same time. In that track of seconds, I can’t believe myself that I thought of those things.

“Yes? What it is?” he continued to ask.

“Actually, I like Chan Yeol” I paused “Can I go to your place on Chan Yeol’s birthday? I bluntly asked.

“I know, and I love Chan Yeol more than you do. Enduring the fact that I’m going to die, I still accepted him. That’s why it’s okay, you can go” he softly said and keep on “No matter what happened to me in this operation, Jae Hyun-nie, please hold Chan Yeol in my place.”

“Hyung” I sobs.

“You better tell me what happened before I go to the operation, okay?’ he chuckled and called for Chan Yeol.

♦♦♣♦♦

Today was the 26th day of November. I dressed to the best I can, copying Baek Hyun’s hairstyle and color, fashion and postures. And today was the same day of Baek Hyun’s operation. I fiddle my hair for the last time in the mirror before leaving the house. I called for a cub and arrived in the meeting place in time.
In few minutes, I saw Chan Yeol heading out of the taxi at the opposite street. A call came to me and it was Mom. I heard her crying when she tells that the family of the donor suddenly refused. When I was about to hung the call I watch Chan Yeol hurriedly crossed the street, not minding the traffic light. I glimpsed in the last-round red thing, it glowed the moment Chan Yeol stepped across the street. I perceived a buzzing sound of a track towards him, I never thought of any seconds, I ran towards to Chan Yeol and pushed his back.
In that moment I found myself floating in the air and gradually felt my body getting paralyzed as I briefly saw Chan Yeol getting hit by a motorcycle.

“Ahhh” I thought. “This is the cost of my selfishness, for thinking of the worst thing towards to my brother.” My body slammed into the ground, my head laid in the direction where I saw Chan Yeol unconscious. My arms rejected to move except for my fingers that were trying to reach for Chan Yeol. My body failed to sense the pain and utter a word. I gradually felt the warm fluid dripping from my head as my sight turned blurrier and completely lost its vision.

“I’m so sorry Hyung” I breathed for the last time.

 

 

P.S :

PREQUEL 2 : BYUN BAEK HYUN'S WISH

will soon be posted. :) thank you for reading my aff! i hope you enjoyed it.! ♥♥♥

-theundeadbozu