LAST PART

False Recollections

♦♦♣♦♦

“Chan Yeol-ah , can I talk to you?” she asked then I nodded.

Good thing that it’s already my break. I swiftly grabbed the muffler on my locker and brought my hot coffee to the second floor of the shop. I found her sitting next to the glass wall slowly sipping her coffee. I draw myself to her and kindly sat down at the sit in front of the table facing her. She gently looked at me and softly put the cup down.

“How’s your vision? Are you able to see clearly” she asked.

“Yes” I simply answered but I wonder why she asked that.

“Chan Yeol-ah, you really don’t remember about my Jae Hyun?”

The stillness caught between us except for the English mellow playing inside the shop. I can’t seem to answer her since I don’t have any idea on that Jae Hyun she asking about. And her phone suddenly rang.

“Yes, I’m here in the Coffee Shock. I’ll go there soon” she spoke “Okay, I’ll hang it up”

She apologized after answering the call. I failed to see the clarity in her face when I perceived that she’s waiting for me. And I answered with a soft shrugging of my head whilst I continue to glued my eyes to the coffee that muffled by my hands.

“Really?” she asked as I continue to stay silent when a young man suddenly appears before us. It was Baek Hyun who’s in shock too. I can read the look on his face on wanting to ask on what I’m doing here talking with the woman in front of me and that’s the same with me. I want to ask what the heck he is doing in here. And in few seconds I finally understand when the woman called to his name and Baek Hyun uttered the word “Omma (Mom)”

“Ch-Chan Yeol-ah?” he emitted and continues “Wh-why?”

I barely excused myself after bowing my head to his mother without answering any questions from them. I walked without looking back on them as I heard them talking. I went back to the cashier and saw Baek Hyun and his mother passes by. They slightly bowed and I nodded my head too. I glimpsed on Baek Hyun’s joyless face as I quickly brought my eyes to the cashier before he catches me looking at him.

♫ geu torok saranghadeon geu saram
irheobeorigo
taoreuneun nae maeumman
heuneukkyeo une

geutorok mideo watdeon geu saram
dora seol juriya
yejeoneneun mollasseonne
jinjeong nan mollanne

nuguinga bureo juneun hwiparam sori
haengyeona chajajulkka geu nimi aniolkka
gidarineun maeum heomuhaera

geutorok mideo watdeon geu saram
dora seol juriya
yejeoneneun mollasseonne
jinjeong nan mollanne

nuguinga bureo juneun hwiparam sori
haengyeona chajajulkka geu nimi aniolkka
gida rineun maeum heomuhaera

geutorok mideo watdeon geu saram
dora seol juriya
yejeoneneun mollasseonne
jinjeong nan mollanne ♫

The manager changes the songs into Korean’s music and the first one she played were “Really I Don’t Know”. I hear the students talking about the EXO members who performed at the @Immortal Song 2 at the nearby table. And about the two members who performed the song “Really I Don’t Know” which currently playing in the speakers around the shop.
In few minutes, Baek Hyun has came back chasing after his heavy breathing, just to waved his hand phone to me. I fetched my own to my apron and saw his message.

 

Chan Yeol-ah, don’t be late tomorrow, okay?

-Byun Baek Hyun

 

I simply replied with “ok” because I have more than things to say than from a mere message.
My boss informed me that I could go home now and my shift is already done since we got a lot costumer today and there will be a new part-timer at the shop. I dragged my things at the locker after changing.

“Thanks for the hard work today” Yoon Ah Ra told.

“Yea, you too” then bid my goodbye.

I tossed my jacket in my study table and tirelessly lie in my bed after my arrival at home. I don’t have any appetite for dinner but Mom brought a slice of strawberry shortcake and juice in my room. She didn’t try to ask what happened or what I did today as she silently left my room.
I stood and brought myself to the bathroom. I washed and applied some moisturizing cream in face. My skin is getting drier and rougher because of the cold weather. I the heater in my room them jumped back to my bed. I quickly fell asleep than expected. I don’t have any second to think about tomorrow.

♦♦♣♦♦

The dusts softly drift with the sunlight that stealth in the needlelike open space from the window. The sun was quite shiny today but the cold has never been defeated. My eyes were twitching as its fights from unclasping. I yawned widely when my eyes continue resting. I stretched my arms and legs on my bed and finally get myself to rose.
I pressed both of my hand at the porcelain sink in the bathroom. I adhered firmly stared on myself in the mirror, looking right through my eyes with messy hair. I spend more than ten minutes doing it and finally splashed my face with generous amount of water then brushed my teeth with cool mint flavored toothpaste. I switched the light in the bathroom before heading out and went downstairs after changing my pants and wrinkled tee. The morning has welcomed with toasted bread and fried eggs ham and jam spread. Mom looked at me with her foremost smile which I really fond for the beginning of my day.

The time was already 12:30 clock in the afternoon when I glimpsed to my wrist watch in the table. I saw Baek Hyun’s reminder once again after to it last state last night when I swiped the tip of my finger when I unlocked my phone. I sat into nothingness at the edge of my bed looking into the furrowed blanket. I closed my eyes together, took a deep breath and stood after couple of minutes. I brought myself to the bathroom and took a bath. I perfectly rinsed my hair and dried it out with blower.  I draw the same clothes I wore two years when my accidents happened. I looked in the mirror after fiddling my hair into the final touch then headed out of my room. I muffled my favorite knitted muffler around my neck and dragged my bag along with me. I pulled out my shoes out of the shoes divider.

I opened the door when cold wind breezes right through my facial skin and felt my body tinkling a little. I walked in the broad and depth of snow way out to the gate. I buried my hands into pocket as I continue walking into the slippery ground. I peeked at the blue sky as the moisture in the air of my breathing continues to wander before my sight.
It took half of an hour when I finally reach the Cheong Nam High School after taking the bus. I glued in front of the gate in few seconds before entering the rusty gate. When I came closer to the music room I somehow hear the sounds of piano. And there is he, Byun Baek Hyun. Latterly in few seconds of intro I hear Baek Hyun’s mellow voice singing with the flowing tune of his piano. My legs stopped me to move forward, even my voice refused to call his name reminding I was already around. I carried on listening and closed my eyes bedazzling with the upcoming spring in my imagination. My awareness failed to behold Baek Hyun who’s standing in front me as I continue closing my eyes.

“Chan Yeol-ah” he said.

I was stunned when I saw him standing next to me waving his hand on my face. He offered me to sit at the stool as he drew himself to the window and leaning his hand at the pane. He looked above the sky and glanced back to me as if he’s waiting for my question but I continued to look at the piano back keys. At the moment of tranquility I finally heard his husky voice with the freezing wind.

“Chan Yeol, I think you’re already got a clue’ he spoken and continued in few seconds as lifted my head and looked at him “you’re sight, you and I used to go in movies, amusements and in any place. We used met each other. It because we like each other and my feelings still the same”

“And then?” I asked as he stopped foretelling our story. My memory has started to come back little by little.

“But, But I was in the verge of dying because of heart failure” he stammered. “Jae Hyun-nie was, was- “he’s tearing in seconds of moment.

Baek Hyun took a deep breath and continues telling me our and his stories. But I don’t have any idea about Jae Hyun not until he showed a picture of them together.

“Jae Hyun was my twin brother” Baek Hyun says.

“Was your twin brother? What do you mean by was?” I asked.

“He died in my place, Chan Yeol-ah” he fell down to his knees, I swiftly reach my hand to his arms and supported him. “Jae Hyun-nie has a feeling for you even before I fell in love with you, Chan Yeol-ah. But you rejected him and told him that you already like some else. Later on, you confessed to me. I don’t have any idea that my brother has feelings for you when I gladly accepted your feelings. He might be giving me a chance knowing that I’m going to die soon. He looked and smile at me as if he’s not hurting inside. And then he asked me one day, to asked you for a date before your birthday. He copied my hair and my way of dressing myself and that’s the time I was badly lying in bed at the hospital waiting for a donor. I can’t help but to let him disguised as me, for my sake, for him and for yourself”

“This can’t be.” I weakly said perceiving the continuation of his story.

“You might don’t believe it, but it was the truth. I called you for you to believe in that promise, my brother dressed to the best he can and waited for your arrival. But you recklessly crossed the street neglecting the traffic light before your eyes. And that’s the accident happened. The hospital has informed me that there’s an upcoming donor. The patient has written my name for the beneficiary of his organ. Later on, your mother begged before us for the donor of your eyes.”

I can’t bring myself to believe but the fragments came back flashes to my mind that prevents me from uttering a word. My eyes initially dripped droplets of tears as he continue telling the onwards. He described how he and I were saved because of his brother. I couldn’t bear myself to look in his eyes. I briefly stood and left the music without leaving any word except for the soft “ I’m sorry”.

♦♦♣♦♦

It’s been hours, days and weeks since the last time Baek Hyun and I met. The Christmas and New Year gradually passed before my mind with pile of frustrations. The month of February quickly arrived and the newscaster has reported the sudden upcoming storm. My parents went for a business trip and I was left in home all alone. I tossed my upper garment in the floor as I planned to take a bath but the couch has lured me from lying as I sit and continue watching the program in TV with lack of interest.
Thunders started striking from the sky that reflected in the glass window. It illuminates through my pale skin as it escapes from the curtain less window. Curling myself in the couch, I clasped both of my hands around my head due to consecutive severe pain in the past few hours. After a while, my hand clutches to my stomach as I felt a sudden abdominal pain. I weep pathetically when my memories with Baek Hyun gradually reminiscing back. I started having several pains whenever there’s uneasiness, anger, sadness, and frustration that tries to conquers my senses. I couldn’t make sure anymore if it is really Baek Hyun or it was Jae Hyun who’s disguising himself as Baek Hyun. I thought about all the things that Baek Hyun told me when a call momentarily came to the 5 inches screened phone. And the caller showed the name “Byun Baek Hyun”

“Hello?” I crackly acquired.

“Chan Yeol-ah? Are you okay?” he asked in return. “Can we meet once again? Can I go to your place?” he asked.

I unthinkably uttered the sound “hmm” which meant as yes to him and hung the call. I lurch the phone to the table and put my eyes into rest. In few hours, someone has ringed the bell. The rain started to pour as the news mentioned it earlier. I rose and forced myself to draw near in the reflecting glass when a ghastly image appeared before my eyes. Not minding my terrible form I looked in the small screen of the interphone and saw Baek Hyun standing with a worried look on his face. I pushed the unlocking button, quickly go back to the sofa and lay down.
I could tell that Baek Hyun was already standing behind my back. He gently laid his hand to my shoulder and asked me if I was okay but I refused to answer him. I’m not really fine and I couldn’t tell that to him.
Baek Hyun went off to the kitchen. He searched for the grain of rice and scanned the things inside our fridge. The minutes have quickly passed by as I sniffed the pleasant smell of mom’s cooking. And when I shifted my body, I saw the tray of foods settling in the table. Baek Hyun handed me the silver spoon. I can’t bring myself to decline his offer and silently ate the foods he served.

“Chan Yeol, can’t we start over again?” he asked.

I widened my eyes and the tears gravitational rolled down to my cheeks as I continue putting the spoon inside my mouth. I snorted and jounced my head. I perfectly aware that I’m continually in love with Baek Hyun even after my memory have gone and came back. I saw tearing himself as well when I lifted and shifted my blurry sight to him. I reach my long arm to him as I abruptly unfold the spoon in my hand. I firmly wrapped my arms around his slender body and glued my head to his shouders.

“Uhm, let’s recreate everything, Baek Hyun” I teary spoken.

“Let’s make our own memories” he said.

“Yes, until white hairs grow old in our heads” I proposed. “Jongmal saranghaeyo, Baek Hyun
( I really love you, Baek Hyun )”

“Uhm nadeu, Chan Yeol-ah, jinjja saranghae” ( me too Chan Yeol, I really love you )