Notes From Reviewer

Title (5/5)

I think this is a overall nice title, it is interesting and does not give away too much of the plot. It is also not too long or short. Based on the nature of the story, I think this title is pretty good considering you could have gone with less interesting options. 

Description & Foreword (5/10)

I felt like your description is very basic. It has the general idea of the story but it does not feel very attractive to me and I felt like you could have spiced it up a little more by being more descriptive on some more details about the story. It was very basic and the layout of these two component was not as clean as I would have liked it. It looks a little messy and disorganized even you have the basic information included into them. Maybe try fixing these two components at a later time. 

Plot (09/10)

Okay, I read all the chapters and I just have to say you have something great going, the plot does have some holes at moments like relationships between characters but overall I think so far it is great. The plot is not going too quickly or too fast which I think is the beauty of your story. It also seems like the Hunger Games/Battle Royale with the twist of romance so it is interesting but not completely generic and it is interesting to see this world you are trying to paint. I honestly think you just need to becareful of plot holes with relationships because it can make reader confused and a little led off the path of your story, you want to keep your story concentrated more. 

Writing Style (19.5/20)

Very detailed, wide range of words and good transition. I think the way you write is really good with connecting with characters' emotions. There were moments i felt bad for Soeun and her crush for Jaerim. I honestly have little to no comments for this. Please keep up with the good work. 

Characterization (08/10)

I would have said that some characters seem so 2D but I figure it is because they embody different sins. Though I want to know why some characters acts a certain way. Did Soeun experience something that led to her becoming more prideful and fear being a disgrace? Why is Jaerim acting so mean? Just try to avoid stereotypical one side characters and continue to develop them more before moving on. Though your speed of writing allows readers to slowly reveal more about the characters which I think is good. Just develop all characters, not just the main ones okay?

Flow (8.5/10)

Great flow but at certain parts, I felt were rushed through or was glossed over too quickly. Such as Lily's death and when she was talking to Hyuna. Just be careful of rushing your story too quickly because it can make people get confused or have the whole "WELL THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY" moment. 

Personal Enjoyment (5/5)

I love your story. PLEASE UPDATE. You now have a fan now, and this fan wants more! I need to know what happens to Soeun! FIGHTING. 

Overall (60/70) ~ 86%