“Soonyoung! Are you free today?”

Whilst doing the dishes Jihoon cradled his phone in between his neck and shoulder, making his voice sound a little shaky as he is cautious the phone would fall or something.

“Are you calling while doing the dishes again? I don’t think your mother would be willing to buy you another phone after what had happened last time.” Soonyoung said, not replying the question he was asked just now.

Jihoon sighed in relief as he finished wiping the last dish of the day. “You could at least say something about my question,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I’m heading off to your place now so make sure your room is clean enough for me to come over.”

Jihoon could hear Soonyoung curse from the phone and laughed – he could just imagine that idiotic friend of his panicking at the very mention of “coming over”. Soonyoung was never the neat kind of person so his room is equivalent to a rainforest, or if not, worse.

“Do you think you own my house or something? You can’t just come over without my consent!”

“That’s what you get when you think it’s alright to simply ignore what I ask,” Jihoon chuckled.

Soonyoung hissed at his friend’s statement. “Yeah whatever. Now put your phone away and drive safely, loser.”

Jihoon smiled at what Soonyoung said and silently obeyed. He loves how Soonyoung is probably the most cruel and violent person on earth towards him but also deep down cares for him, just like how a mother is to her son.

He doesn’t want to be son-zoned by Soonyoung though!

“Well, at least you managed to wipe off the dust on your dining table,”

Jihoon grabbed some snacks from the fridge and immediately started chewing down on them as he lied himself on Soonyoung’s couch.

“You make it sound as if I never wipe them off,” Soonyoung took a seat right beside Jihoon’s feet, attempting to sneakily take some of the snacks but it wasn’t quite a good choice of action when Jihoon slapped his hands. “Ouch...”

“No touching my food,” Jihoon stated bluntly, making Soonyoung frown, totally unimpressed. “But I bought them with my own allowance...”

Jihoon stuck his tongue out then his eyes darted back to the television.

It has always been like that – Jihoon is still living with his parents so Soonyoung couldn’t come over as often as he wants to, and Jihoon thinks it’s so nice to make Soonyoung’s apartment his weekend favorite hangout. Jihoon has came over his place without asking for permission too often that Soonyoung started to not mind anymore.

Heck, he would be worried if the day Jihoon asks if he could come over ever came.

It was a tiring day on work so Jihoon decided to just stay over Soonyoung’s place for the night. Soonyoung was hesitant at first because his house would be a disaster everytime Jihoon slept over but ended up letting him anyway.

“Wow, look at this, Jihoon,” Soonyoung called from the kitchen and Jihoon lazily walked to him. “What is it?”

“I can’t believe Jisoo and Jeonghan are actually dating, wow,” he said as he showed Jisoo’s Facebook status about him getting into a relationship with Jeonghan.

“And why would you be showing this to me? Should I even care?” Jihoon was quite irritated because he was about to sleep but Soonyoung called just to tell him something that is not much of a big deal.

Soonyoung widened his eyes as if Jihoon has said something he wasn’t supposed to. “Of course you should! They’re of the same gender. How is that even possible? Don’t they get scared of what the public would think of them? If I ever get confessed from any guy I would be terrified my entire life,”

Jihoon felt a pang in his heart as soon as he heard what Soonyoung said; he doesn’t know why, but a part of him feels disappointed of what Soonyoung has just said.

“What’s so wrong about that? It doesn’t matter as long as they love each other. Why should other people’ opinions affect them?” he said quietly, but loud enough for Soonyoung to hear.

“Don’t you think they’re kinda shameless? I’m almost so sure that their parents are against their relationship but there they go publicizing the connection they have between them-”

“Soonyoung! What are you saying?” Jihoon snapped. “How can you be so ignorant? How is it wrong for someone to love who they want to? Why would you say that they’re shameless just because they’re a little bit different from others when in fact the only thing they’ve done is loving each other!”

It was clear through his expression that Jihoon was furious and Soonyoung has to admit that he was completely startled – usually his friend doesn’t give a damn about anything so why would he get angry about what he had just said? Or maybe...

“Wait, Jihoon... don’t tell me that you’re really... gay...?”

Jihoon had to close his eyes and breathe for a moment. He thought Soonyoung was okay with gay relationships all along and that’s why he was willing to be his only friend.

“I thought ever since the news spread out the whole school you knew,” Jihoon whispered.

“Yeah, I knew, but I wanted to believe that it was only a rumor and it shouldn’t bother me so much,” Soonyoung said. “And you seem to be talking about girls on your college and workplace a lot as the years go by so I started to feel reassured and that I don’t have to worry about-”

“Worry about what?!” Jihoon raised his voice again. He was starting to feel all of the things he used to feel back in high school and he never imagined this day would come again so soon. “Worry that I might fall in love with you and confess to you and rumors will start spread around and you will be labelled as an outcast at your workplace because of that?”

Soonyoung couldn’t say a thing because what Jihoon said was actually true.

“See! You can’t even deny!” A tear rolled down Jihoon’s cheeks – he really feels like this very moment.

“Jihoon, I-”

“Why did you even want to be friends with me? Did you want to prove something just to satisfy your curiosity and then leave me when you find yourself a new friend whom you are more confident of?”

The silence really wasn’t helping Jihoon at all and so he started to cry.

“Why... Soonyoung... why do you have to make me like this? I trusted you all my life and I was so happy because I thought I finally found someone who accepts me for who I am...” he sobbed. “You should’ve just told me all along that you...”

Jihoon was so, so disappointed he couldn’t continue talking and fell on his knees. Soonyoung quickly ran to him and comforted him, despite him being the one who made Jihoon like this.

As if he had an allergy towards Soonyoung, Jihoon immediately stood up when Soonyoung touched his shoulders and wiped his tears away.

“I don’t think I’m going to stay over. Bye.”

Grabbing his things Jihoon quickly ran away from Soonyoung’s apartment, not being able to stop sobbing and choking on his tears.

These feelings Jihoon had were disgusting and he wanted them to disappear.