Crashing One's Spaceship into the Ocean Is not a Recommended Maneuver

Aliens Invaded Earth and All We Got Were Six Idiots to Babysit

“Praise the gods – we’re alive!” Jongup cried when the shaking had stopped.

“Don’t start thanking the gods yet,” Himchan warned.  “We’ve crashed in a giant body of water – at least twelve times bigger than anything left back at home, and that’s just the amount that the scanners can reach.  We’ve got to get out.  Youngjae, what’s the atmosphere content?”

“Hang on…”  The genius’s yellow eyes darted back and forth as his computer crunched the data.  “The atmosphere is breathable, with about seventy-eight percent diatomic nitrogen gas, twenty-one percent diatomic oxygen gas, and one percent other mixed gases that aren’t toxic to us.  So now we can thank the gods.”

“Thank the gods,” Himchan murmured under his breath.  “Yongguk, do you have a visual on the surface yet?  The engine’s cooling rapidly in the water, but it still needs a few more minutes.”

“I’m working on it,” the second-in-command said.  “Didn’t think we’d crash this far in the water, so I’m unlocking the periscope that Zelo put together.”

“I’ve got it!” Zelo’s chipper voice called from the upper level of the ship.  “Hey, guys, I don’t think this planet’s lifeforms are as primitive as we thought they might be.”

“What makes you say that?” Youngjae asked distractedly as he compiled the physical information which he’d gathered from his preliminary scans of planet T235ER335RA as the ship had approached it.

“Um, there are water ships approaching,” Zelo said.  “Do you want me to send a visual over to your data pad?”

“Can you hold on a second?” Youngjae asked.  “If my calculations are correct, this planet’s gravity is almost a third of our gravity.  That means we’re about three times stronger here than we are at home!  Yes!  I’m not totally useless anymore!”

“Hey, I think you really had better see this…” Zelo called uncertainly.

“What’s wrong?” Yongguk asked.

“Got it!” Himchan cheered.  “Engine’s cool!”

Suddenly, Daehyun burst into the ship’s command room.  “Hostile intelligent lifeforms armed with effective weapons.  They have electrical capabilities, if the sound of motors is anything to go by.  Also, they have radio capabilities and a defensive tone.”

“Zelo, give me that visual!” Youngjae shouted.  A holographic image popped up next to the scientist.

“Zelo, man the main guns but don’t fire unless explicitly ordered,” Himchan ordered, and a clatter rang out as the youngest on the team rushed to his new position.  “Daehyun, get the periscope.”  As he ran out of the command room, Himchan turned to Yongguk and Youngjae.  “What do you say?”

“We shouldn’t attack,” Jongup said.  “We don’t want to give the inhabitants the wrong impression, right?”

Yongguk nodded.  “We obviously can’t stay here.  We’ll have to send a transmission back home and tell them that planet T235ER335RA is already inhabited by intelligent and relatively advanced lifeforms, and to keep looking.”

“We haven’t got the resources to get off planet, though,” Himchan said.  “Our entire mission depended on this planet being the one.”

“I know,” Youngjae said.

“If we prove to the inhabitants that we come in peace and just mean to live amongst them peacefully, what’s the problem?” Jongup asked.

“We’ll discuss it as soon as we’re in the clear,” Himchan said.  “Until then-“

“They’re yelling something into voice amplifiers,” Daehyun shouted down.  “I’ve got no idea what they’re saying, but they’re pointing non-laser projectile weapons at us.”

“Of course they are,” Yongguk muttered.  “We just crashed onto their planet.  They’re naturally highly suspicious of us.”

“Should we go out unarmed to show them that we mean no harm?” Jongup asked.

Himchan shook his head.  “No matter what we do, they’ll maintain their state of high alert.”

Youngjae tapped a few buttons on his data pad.  “From a quick scan of the densely populated area on the landmass over there, it seems that their technology level is such that they’ve probably never experienced alien contact before.”

“Then our appearance will really go over well,” Yongguk grumbled.

The intercom crackled and Zelo’s voice came on.  “The water’s going to get in.”

Himchan’s pink eyes widened.  “This ship was made for deep space, not deep water!” he exclaimed.

“Shouldn’t it be airtight anyway?” Jongup asked.

“Exposure to water pressure is different than exposure to a vacuum,” Youngjae said.  “Himchan, we’ve got to get out of the water as fast as possible.  Tell Zelo to ditch the guns and get the shields up and running.  These people haven’t got lasers, so all we can do is hope that their projectiles aren’t too powerful.  We aren’t firing on these people, so I want Daehyun to work the cameras and Yongguk to drive and Himchan to copilot.  Jongup, monitor the ship’s vitals while I find somewhere for us to land.”

“I’m firing up the engines,” Yongguk said as he took the pilot’s seat.  “What do you say, Youngjae?  Straight up or diagonal out?”

“Diagonal,” Youngjae said without hesitation.  “This planet’s gravity may be only a third of ours, but the laws of physics still hold firm.  We’ll have to fight the water less directly if we go diagonally out.”

“Got it,” Yongguk said.

“I’ve got the balance controls,” Himchan said, sitting down.

Zelo’s blonde head poked into the command room.  “Shields are up,” he called.  “Priority on the physical ones?”

Youngjae nodded.  “Don’t bother with the laser shields at all; these people haven’t got any.  Put full power in the physical shields.”  Zelo disappeared back into the mechanical room.

The familiar rumble of engines reverberated through the ship as Daehyun took his seat at the view board and Jongup at the monitors.  Youngjae stood at the central computer with his data pad plugged in for faster processing speed, praying that not all the planet’s inhabitants were so hostile.

“We’re moving out,” Yongguk announced.

“Stabilizers in order,” Himchan reported.  “Daehyun, course?”

“Hm…reverse and out,” he said.

“Course confirmed,” Yongguk said.

“Air conditions?” Himchan asked.

“Steady and moderate sea breeze,” Youngjae said, glancing at one of his many charts.  “The air pressure lighter than we’re used to at home, so head out gently.”

“Watch those projectiles,” Daehyun warned.

Yongguk gently maneuvered the ship around and forward.  Himchan watched the ship’s main monitors.  “Got a destination for us?” he asked Youngjae.

“Hm…the area toward the upper axis of rotation is sparsely populated,” Youngjae said.  “However, it appears that the environmental conditions are highly unfavorable.  An enormous body of water extends out to our left and towards the lower axis, while an enormous body of land extends out to our right and to the upper axis.”

“So up, reverse, and hover until we’ve run more thorough scans?” Yongguk asked.

“No,” said Youngjae.  “We want to preserve our fuel.  Get us somewhere where we can run analysis without the full ship functions.”

“Got it,” said Yongguk.  “We’re breaching the surface in three…two…one!”

The ship jolted as it broke free of the water.

“Wow, the atmosphere is so clear!” Zelo marveled from the mechanics room.  “At home it’s so dusty, but here the sky is blue just like in the stories from the old days!”

“Projectiles incoming!” Daehyun shouted.  “Barrage of tiny, high-speed metal pellets!”

“Dammit!” growled Yongguk.  “We’ve got to move!”

“Picking up possible missile stations from the peninsula and the land,” Himchan warned.  “Landing anywhere on this land mass seems highly unadvisable.”

“Oh, gods deliver us!” wailed Jongup.

“We’ve got six hits,” Zelo called.  “Shields are holding, but barely.  They’re not prepared for such high-speed impact, even if it’s over a tiny area.”

Himchan bit his lip.  “Daehyun, take over scanning visuals.  I need the short-sighted cameras.  Jongup, how are the vitals?”

“They’re fine for now,” Jongup said.  “We haven’t taken any significant hits yet.”

“Sizeable explosive projectile incoming,” Daehyun said nervously.

“Evasive maneuvers,” Yongguk ordered through gritted teeth.  “Youngjae, I need a destination now.”

Youngjae opened his mouth to answer, when Zelo shouted, “We can’t sustain any more hits!  And there’s an incoming tailing missile!”

“Full ahead,” Himchan said.  “Go over the populated areas – they shouldn’t try to shoot us down over the people.”

“We don’t know if these people have ethics,” Youngjae warned as Yongguk changed course abruptly and headed over the city.

“The small projectiles have stopped but the missile is still coming,” Daehyun said.

“They hope to blow us out of the air,” Yongguk muttered.

“It’s tracking us,” Youngjae said.

“Can we shake it?” Jongup asked.

“Maybe we can lead it up and shoot it,” Himchan said.  He raised his voice.  “Hey, Zelo, go to the guns and lock in on that missile, but don’t shoot until Yongguk says.”

“Yes, sir!” Zelo shouted, and they heard him run off to the room that held the controls for the main guns.

“Going up,” Yongguk said.  “Hold on to something.”  The ship jerked as it accelerated upwards.  They heard Zelo yelp as he fell, unprepared for the sharp change in direction.

“It’s still following,” Daehyun said.

“Good,” Himchan said.  “Zelo, you okay?”

“I’m fine,” the boy’s muffled voice said.

“You have the guns yet?” Youngjae asked.

This time Zelo’s voice came over the intercom.  “Yeah, and the headset too.”

“Good,” said Himchan.  “Yongguk, are we almost ready?”

“We’ve got enough distance,” Yongguk said with a nod.  “Signal him.  I’m flipping us around.”

“Zelo, ready,” Himchan said through one of the many copilot’s devices.

“Affirmative,” Zelo answered.

“Reversing!” Yongguk shouted as he wheeled the ship around.

“Noted,” Zelo’s voice said.  “Target locked.

“Fire!” Yongguk yelled.

The ship jolted slightly at the force of the main guns firing.  All it took was one perfectly aimed laser for the missile to explode.  Yongguk violently jerked the controls as he pulled the ship from its path toward the explosion.

“They’re sending up ships,” Daehyun said, tapping his computer screen.  “They’re not going to rest until we’ve gone down, willingly or unwillingly.”

“General?” Yongguk asked Himchan.

“Can you check the shields for us, Jongup?” Himchan asked.

“Yes, sir,” Jongup answered.  “Physical shields have recovered enough to sustain a few more high-speed pellet impacts, but not many.”

“How about fuel levels?” Himchan asked.

“It looks like Yongguk’s evasive maneuvers strained them,” Jongup said.

“Are we good as stranded?” Himchan asked.  Jongup did not answer.  Himchan sighed.  “Youngjae?”

“We’ve got enough to get out of the atmosphere and set ourselves on cruise toward home,” said Youngjae.  “We won’t make it, though.  We’ll run out of fuel, and then food and air before we get anywhere near the outermost sophisticated station.”

“If we crash and take certain equipment with us for help, can we signal for help?”

“If what we need survives the crash,” Youngjae said, “though the signal will take ages to reach a station.”

“But if we crash on the shore and then head into the city, could we make it?” Himchan asked.

“We’ll need to cram ourselves and everything we need into the escape pod,” Yongguk said.  “I’m going to keep cruising up here ‘cause it looks like those ships can’t get above a certain level.”

“Good,” said Himchan.  “Jongup, Daehyun, get Zelo and start packing our electrical and radio equipment.  Youngjae, calculate a strategic place for us to crash.”

“Yes sir!”  The soldiers dispersed, and soon, after Youngjae had programmed the autopilot to force the ship to self-destruct and crash in a relatively remote spot in the shallows after ejecting the pod, everyone got very friendly in with each other and the machinery.

“I still don’t understand why we need to blow up the ship,” Jongup remarked.  “We could scavenge it and save it after the excitement dies down.”

“We’ve got to disguise our escape,” Himchan said.  “Hopefully these lifeforms are advanced enough to know what drones are.  With ship debris flying everywhere from the self-destruct, we may be able to crash somewhere without arousing too much suspicion.  The natives will probably head straight to the remains of the skeleton of the ship while we can make a quick getaway into the city.”

“Plus, the suspicious armed natives will probably confiscate it once they realize it won’t blow up in their faces,” Youngjae said.  “I know that’s probably what the Governor would order if an alien ship crashed on Mato.”

“Preparing to initiate self-destruct and subsequent pod launch,” Zelo said as he wirelessly connected to the ship’s controls.  “Be ready for violent freefall and brace for impact.”

Daehyun groaned the ship lurched.  “Pellets broke the shields.”

“The ship is going before controlled initiation,” Zelo said.

Himchan bit his lip before turning to Jongup, who could easily reach the normal emergency ejection button.  “Hit it,” he ordered.  Jongup pressed the button and the escape pod launched.

“I hate freefall,” moaned Daehyun as they rapidly picked up speed.

Most people do, Himchan told Daehyun telepathically, feeling too queasy to open his mouth.

Zelo, being mostly cyborg, was the least affected by the fall.  “Impact impending in five, four, three, two, one-”

There was an incredible crash, and everything went black.

 

The first one awake was Zelo.  He registered immediately that he was not wet and that the pod had not crashed in the water as Youngjae had planned.  He shoved debris off himself before standing to survey the area.  He received an alert that he had some minor surface damage on his left shoulder and his buttock area, but he temporarily archived the information as he searched for his friends.

Finding General Himchan was his first priority.  He was the commanding officer, after all.  Technically, though, Zelo had the capabilities to do a lifeform scan.  That could allow him to locate everyone and discover how much time they had to clear out.  He closed his organic right eye and the full scanning function in his left eye.  Even though a full scan would take a little more energy and time, he could easily store the information for Youngjae to analyze.  A minute later, he had the locations of his comrades, as well as an approximate time until outside arrival.

Zelo zipped five meters away to where General Himchan had been thrown.  Living on a planet with stronger gravity had toughened their bodies, making them more solid and massive than if they had been native inhabitants of this new planet, so the general was more unharmed than the building against which he had crashed.  As he pulled him up, he heard a shift about seven meters to his right, the area in which Yongguk had been thrown.  Turning, he saw his big brother figure brushing himself off as he pulled himself through the wall which he had broken on impact.  He had an obvious, bleeding head wound, but seemed otherwise unharmed.

“You’re alright?” Yongguk asked.  Seeing Zelo’s affirmative nod, he noted, “You’ve got Himchan.”

“Yes,” Zelo said.  “Youngjae is within a three meter radius of the impact site.  We have less than three minutes to gather everyone and everything.”

Yongguk cursed and headed for the impact zone.  “I’ll get Youngjae and our equipment.  You get everyone else.”

“Yes, sir,” Zelo said.  He quickly located Daehyun, who had sustained more severe wounds.  It appeared that he had cut himself badly on escape pod debris as he had been thrown out of the wreckage.  That did not bode well – Daehyun’s wounds meant that he would almost certainly be put out of commission because of his heightened senses.

Jongup came limping over from where he had picked himself up.  “What happened?” he asked.

“We crashed in the wrong place and we need to get out now,” Yongguk said.  “Jongup, take Youngjae and Himchan.  Zelo, get Daehyun and some of this stuff.  We need to move.”

When the military carefully made its way to the typically poor and dangerous area of the city, all they found were a small crater, scrap metal, and what appeared to be alien blood samples.


Thank you for reading!  Like I said, I really ought to be working on No More Goodbyes, but this was begging for me to write it.  Plus, rothfyae emailed me some of the pictures that I requested.  It’s obvious she put a lot of hard work into them, and I was inspired.  So here you have it, chapter one of this story whose name I don’t really like but for which I have no other clever title.

Leave a comment, correct my errors, or anything else respectful.  Flaming just isn’t nice!

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