If he’s being quite honest with himself, every day seems so dull and slow. Jungkook liked to do things half-assed before (except for drinking and getting laid)—when he met Taehyung, he did things wholeheartedly, even trivial matters such as grocery shopping. Now he’s back to his old routine, dragging his sorry to work, coming home to wait for Taehyung, but the latter never did. Jungkook waited for two weeks, but Taehyung didn’t come back like he promised.

But Taehyung was obvious. He left traces that he was obviously there, grabbing certain things he needed. Half of his clothes were already gone. He took all of the Snapples he stocked in the fridge and even though Jungkook never eats and pays attention to Nutella, it’s really ing obvious that the big jar was gone as well. Taehyung came back—comes back, but Jungkook was never there to see him.

He sent Taehyung messages albeit knowing he wasn’t getting a reply. ‘good morning’, ‘have you eaten lunch?’, ‘good night’, ‘I miss you’, ‘I love you’. He sent all of those, but everything was one sided. He tried calling one, but Taehyung never answered, and Jungkook is so stupid to think that he will.

It’s nearly three weeks and there’s no sign of Taehyung. Jungkook is starting to really panic, because what if Taehyung is just coming back to get his things and then leave. For good. The thought scares Jungkook because ever since meeting Taehyung some five years ago, he couldn’t already picture the rest of his life without the other.

The last thing he wants is to annoy Taehyung even more, but his sanity is getting thinner by the minute. On a cold, Thursday night, Jungkook drives to the clinic with a blank mind and a broken heart.

He has no particular agenda in mind. Seeing Taehyung was enough for him, even for a minute, half a minute, a peek, he doesn’t care. He just needs to see that Taehyung is doing fine without him, although it leaves a bitter pang in his heart.

He collects himself, sighing every now and then, because it’s been so long and Jungkook’s not satisfied by seeing Taehyung’s face on his phone screen. He walks in carefully and is greeted by the receptionist politely. Jungkook doesn’t recognize this one, probably knew, because if it was Himchan, he’d probably know better than to greet Jungkook with a smile. Taehyung tells his receptionist everything.

“Sorry, sir, but we’re closing in a few minutes. You can come back tomorrow.”

“No, no, let him in.” Calls someone from the office. It’s Taehyung, and Jungkook’s heart automatically speeds up. “Good evening, what can I—“ And there he is, Kim Taehyung in a doctor’s coat, hair neatly in place complete with a stethoscope around his neck. He’s everything Jungkook can only dream of.

Taehyung stops in his tracks, obviously shocked to see Jungkook here. Honestly, the day should be wrapping up nicely for him, but not anymore.

“If you’re here to pick me up, I’m not going with you. I’m having dinner with a friend.” Taehyung says, shrugging his coat off and handing his stethoscope to the new receptionist who’s obviously beyond confused right now.

“I’m just…I’m just here to see you.” Jungkook says, eyes searching for Taehyung’s because he knows the latter will be gone again for God knows how long. He’s taking his first chance and he’s not going to waste it. “I just want to see you. I miss you.”

Taehyung doesn’t respond. He disappears back into his office, and when he comes out, he passes by Jungkook and he’s out of the door, into his car, driving away.

Jungkook comes back the next day with the same reason as last night. What Taehyung did really hurt him, and he tried not to break down there and then in front of the new receptionist but he couldn’t do it. He cries for so long, ignoring the calls of ‘sir, are you okay?’ because of course he’s not ing okay.

But today, he’s going to try his luck again. He stops by a café to grab a blueberry muffin and a grande cappuccino—Taehyung’s regular morning fix.

The patients are overflowing this early in the morning, and Jungkook knows he doesn’t have a place there, but just as the receptionist is calling for the next patient, he swerves into the office. “Hi.” He greets, and Taehyung seems to be annoyed upon seeing him. “I’m busy, can’t you see?”

“I know.” Jungkook bites at his lip, a habit when he’s nervous or embarrassed. “I just dropped by for this.” He places the cup and paper bag on Taehyung’s desk, careful so he doesn’t cover the papers that are placed on it. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you this early in the morning, but I just needed to see you, Tae.” He finally says, and he’s out of the door before Taehyung can sass back.

Jungkook liked to think that the mission was a success, but he wouldn’t really know. What if Taehyung already ate the same thing? What if Taehyung just throws the breakfast away? What if he already damaged Taehyung’s mood today? Jungkook wouldn’t know, but at least he tried.

It goes on for days, Jungkook bringing random food that Taehyung likes or he might like. He brought lunch because Taehyung has an undying amount of love for tonkatsu, he brought that 1L Mogu-Mogu in lychee flavor that Taehyung likes to drink in one go even though it’s just more sugar than actual liquid, he brought those fancy French macarons in all sorts of colors even though Taehyung only eats the green and lilac ones. Jungkook brought over many things, and he doesn’t forget to bring his heart, too.

Jungkook likes to think it’s a good fight and he’s not going to quit any time soon. He admits it’s kind of tiring and it worns him out that everything he’s doing right now is not reciprocated, but he’s going to do it until Taehyung forgives him. It’s only fair that he suffers as much as he does right now. The weight of the damage was just too much for Taehyung to take.

Today, though, he’s not in the mood for anything. He’s just sad, down, tired, exhausted—everything. He feels every negative thing all at once. It should be overwhelming that he’s experiencing this point in life because he honestly thought that being with Taehyung will be nothing but eternall bliss.

He’s curled up in bed, on Taehyung’s side specifically, hugging Taehyung’s pillow that still smells like him although it’s already nearing a month. He sniffs it, and it smells just like the shampoo that Taehyung uses—the American brand he likes to use because it smells like fresh pine trees and . Jungkook never liked it, but he uses it now just so he can take a piece of Taehyung wherever he went. He’s staring into distance, eyes bleak and lifeless.

Like a really bad wedding AVP, all the memories came flashing in his mind.

How they met—It was a Sunday morning, fall, and Jungkook was rushed to the hospital. Appendicitis, that’s what he heard form all the nurses flocking around him. His then roommate, Namjoon, was kind enough to wake up at an undodly hour to drive his wits out to the nearest hospital to admit Jungkook in. He doesn’t remember much, but when he woke up, he sees perfection in a scrubsuit which smells faintly of latex gloves and blood. Kim Taehyung, the doctor introduces himself, and Jungkook knew from that moment on that his entire life and being will be devoted to this man who literally saved his life.

Their first date—Jungkook, despite undergoing this process a ton of times to even remember every single one of them, is trembling as he waits by the table he had reserved for this occasion. He collected all of his savings for one date at some fancy, up-scale restaurant in Gangnam, eager to please the doctor who’s so ing hot he should be put out. Kim Taehyung is a man that lights a fire deep within Jungkook’s heart. But enough about his looks. Although Jungkook will never run out of words to describe Taehyung’s physical aspect, he especially loved it that Taehyung took really good care of him while he was at the hospital. One of the nurses (who should be doing all the taking-care-of, really) told Jungkook that as busy as he is, Dr. Kim makes time for each of his patients, checking on them every once in a while, and it just happened that Taehyung had particularly became very fond of Jungkook. Taehyung brings Jungkook’s meals, brings him fruits often, and even sits down for a conversation whilepeeling apples. That’s a very housewife thing to do but Jungkook enjoyed his company so much. So that being said, Jungkook cannot simply leave without any way to see him again, so he opts to get his number and scored a date a week after he fully recovered. It was very pleasant, and Jungkook just ignored throwing all of his savings for this one date because he got more dates after this one.

Their first time—Jungkook has had a lot of , but with Taehyung, it’s different. Jungkook tried to act like he wasn’t very experienced, and he went slow, making sure Taehyung felt good and making sure that everything just felt right. Not rushed, not awkward, but just right. Jungkook loved (loves) Taehyung’s moans, his whimpers, his cries of ‘yes, jungkook, right there’ and everything that leaves his mouth. The post- was probably the best part, because Jungkook dreamt of cuddling with Taehyung even though he detested post- cuddles before. He just wouldn’t with any other person, but with Taehyung, it feels right.

Everything. Jungkook remembered everything. Their first kiss, their first petty fight that resulted to numerous amounts of kisses, their Sunday grocery trips, moving in together, their yearly holiday trips. It’s too much, and in every one of those Jungkook will remember just how much Taehyung made him feel. Taehyung makes him fall in love each and every time when saying ‘I love you’. Every special, reserved smile makes Jungkook melt. Every kiss makes him weak in the knees. Every hug makes him feel secure. Everything about Taehyung makes him feel alive.

Then again, nothing is perfect, even this relationship. Nobody is perfect, too. Jungkook will -up eventually, and when he did, he hurt Taehyung in the process. He hates himself for hurting Taehyung like that. He hates himself because he could’ve stopped and not let his get ahead of his brain. But life is ultimately full of plot twists, and Jungkook gets his in the worst way.

He doesn’t know he’s been crying until he tastes salt on his lips. He doesn’t know how long he’s been like that, but when he opens his eyes, it’s still dark—4AM, the clock says. He decides to head out, driving around with no destination in mind. He runs into a red light although there are no cars around. Jungkook doesn’t move until it’s nearly six, just sitting around in his car and feeling utterly useless. Maybe he can skip work again today, but he knows he’ll be repaying it with overtimes. He doesn’t mind, though. Maybe it can take his mind off of things for a while.

It’s been a month, and Jungkook doesn’t know if he can keep up with all the emotional stress he’s been dealing with lately. He just needs Taehyung back in his life so he can finally move forward again, but said man is still not coming home to Jungkook’s arms where he belongs.

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please do leave a comment if  you like it so far. i noticed that people just subscribe to my stories and never really comment about what they think, about what they like and not like about the story. lmao, so please do. i would appreciate that a lot!

also, HMU on twitter @sugabeagle bc i need people to talk to. tumblr as well, wuyixing.