The Kind of Introduction

A boy sits still in front of his laptop. His deep eyes lock on a figure of a pale looking boy in forms of video on the screen. His hands tremble when clicking on the video. The video starts to play. The pale faced boy flash a smile. Face contorted in pain.

“Myung-ah,. The moment you watch this video, I must have been gone. I’m sorry for keeping this as a secret. I wanna you to have a perfect Christmas. That’s why I ask Sunggyu hyung to give this to you after Christmas. I don’t wanna hurt you but I know I’m fail and I’m so sorry for that.” A cough escaped the latter chapped lips. Adding to the pain that starts to building in Myungsoo feeling.

“I’m sorry for leaving you. I didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s just I don’t want you to see me in pain. You must be thinking me as a betrayal right. I just leave without any explanation. I always try to explain everything but I can’t. It’s too hard Myung-ah. I better hurt alone than bragging my precious with me. You always ask me why I like to film you and the rest of infinite without me include in the picture right,?? It’s because of this. I already know I’m not fitted to be there. Infinite’s smile is all that matter and I feel content about this. I love you and Infinite more than anything..”

The boy on the screen flashed a smile. A pained smiles rather that genuine smile that Myungsoo used to.

“But it’s hurt Myung,. “ another heavy coughed interrupted. “All the time I see you with her, it kills me inside. I know for you I’m just a best friend, but for me you’re more than that. You’re my everything. I’m sorry but I really love you. I’m praying the best for you and her. I’ll bring my love to heaven. Just keep remembering me as your friend and it’s enough for me. I love you Myungsoo and this is my Christmas confession,…”

Only tears song can be heard. The latter on the screen sing despite his attempt to old his tears. Melodious voices sing each verse of the song with all his heart.

Tears flow on Myungsoo’s face. He regretted everything. How he  utterly in love for Sungyeol but try to kills it by dating other person. He feels insecure. He never thing Sungyeol will like him back. He always thinks of Sungyeol the way Sungyeol think about him. They both were too stupid to understand that their feeling is mutual.

He suddenly remembered how other member of Infinite will treats Sungyeol. How Sunggyu seems protective lately and how Dongwoo seems too keep on being by Sungyeol side, Woohyun that will always cook healthy food, Hoya that will always holding Sungyeol straight and Sungjong that always shows possessiveness towards Sungyeol. Things drowned to him now. The rest of Infinite already knows and they hide it from Myungsoo very well. Myungsoo feel stupid for not understanding the worried look they had for Sungyeol. And importantly, he feels stupid for his behaviour. His tears keep flowing. He hurt Sungyeol and he lost him now. He lost his friends and the person that he loved for his life in a same time. He just chuckle. “I’m so pathetic.”

Saranghanda mianhada

Geurae deoneun andoegesseo

Nan dagagal jagyeok jocha eobseo

Nal saranghaji ma

-I love you. I’m sorry

But I can’t do this anymore

I don’t even have the right to get close to you

Don’t love me-

“I’m sorry Sungyeol. I love you too.. And this is my Christmas confession.”

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

“Myungsoo..” a cherry voice interrupted his train of thought. Gosh, why now? Can’t he just get some peace to dwell on his sappy feelings?

“Myungie..” The same voice called again. The owner of the voice opened a door of a room. Then sigh when he spotted the person he was looking for is currently curling in his bed like a kitten.

“Myungie-ah.. What’re you doing,??” the boy pokes the side of the raven hair boy.  Still there is no response from the latter.

“Myung myung.. Wake up.. Let’s play..” he try to tickled the slightly shorter boy only to be shoved lightly. Heaving a sigh, he retorted his hand and start making his way. Halfway from the door, he was pulled for a bone crushing hug.

“Don’t leave me.” A smile crept onto the boy face upon hearing the cute response. He tried to loosen the grip but failed.

“I’m not going anywhere Myungsoo. Now let me go.” the boy however don’t budge.  Sensing something wrong, the taller frowned.

“Did you do something wrong? No.. Let me guess, you actually read angst fanfic about us again Myungsoo,?”

The shorter just nodded. Face buried on the taller chest.

“I told you not too right. You’re easily carried away..” the amused boy just laugh at the cute sight.

“I’m not gonna leave you. Cause you’re my only one. I love you and I’m yours ok..” Myungsoo look up. Showing his face with a trail of tears on his cheek, perhaps the effect of angst fanfic he read earlier.

“You mister are going to be the death of me.” soft hand wiping the tears off Myungsoo’s face fondly.

“Never leave me. I love you,.. I’ll always do.” With his word, Myungsoo leans into Sungyeol’s face and they share a sweet innocent kiss than then lead to other.

“So.. From the way your death grip on me, I guess I died again in that fic?”

“Oh.. Shut up Yeol..”