Junhong was thirteen when they sent him off.

He didn’t really understand much at the time, just that he was needed. His home was in danger and he had to go defend it. They didn’t tell him much either, just how to point a gun and shoot and not to die.

Junhong thought it simple enough.

After all, it was just a pull of a trigger and a boom and a thud on the shoulder, leaving a bruise because he had held it too close. It wasn’t anything too bad. It shouldn’t have been.

But that was before he had seen death.

He had been taken under the care of one general, Youngjae, when he first arrived. Youngjae was strict and demanding but he was also logical and smart and nice-especially to Junhong. He always made sure the younger stayed out of harm’s way, making him always be at the back or at least be with someone whenever they went out.

Junhong didn’t like being treated like a child-he was a teenager after all-but he never disobeyed Youngjae because that’s what his hyung wanted.

So he always stayed at the back, letting the others shield him. He never went out on missions much and he was always shooed away when they came back from a battle, bloody and dying. Youngjae never let him see.

Until he died.

Junhong had had just enough time to turn around and see Youngjae scream at him to flee, to run, before the explosion went off, a cloud of smoke and fire that made it hard to breathe.

Junhong had been blasted backwards but was unhurt so he scrambled to find Youngjae. The ground was stained dark and there were scattered pieces of something in the dirt.

Junhong had been dragged away before he could see more. He hadn’t understood why Youngjae was gone, why he wasn’t going to be around anymore, why he left...until he did.

He had seen death that day.

“Junhongie? You coming?”

Blinking, Junhong nods and jumps down from his bunk, bumping hips with Jongup when he gets to the ground. “Yes sir!” he mock salutes Himchan who just rolls his eyes and swats at him.

“Go on ahead with the others, I need to talk to Yongguk.”

Yongguk is the new general they’ve had for a while. He’s not as harsh as Youngjae was, but he was very serious when it came to getting out alive. He cared about them more than anyone else and always put their lives before anything.

He was one of Junhong’s favorite hyungs.

“Yes sir.” Junhong trudges away, out of their tiny cabin, following his other favorite two hyungs- Daehyun and Jongup.

Daehyun was their sort-of cook. The food they had was pretty crappy but Daehyun did what he could to make it good and fun and it usually turned out well. He is also extremely good with close-range shooting.

Jongup is short and muscular, smiley and very strong and usually in charge of lifting and carrying things-sometimes bodies and Junhong admires that more than anything else. He doesn’t think he could carry a corpse.

“Hurry up Junhongie, maybe we’ll get to be first in line this time!” Daehyun says, almost skipping.

“Maybe we should anyway since you’re the cook,” Junhong says back teasingly and Daehyun frowns.

“You have a point.”

“Well at least we won’t be last,” Jongup says, pointing and their voices start to fade as they walk away from the cabin.

Himchan turns to Yongguk. He opens his mouth but Yongguk puts up a hand.

“Save it.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say!”

“I don’t have to, I already know.”

“But Yongguk-”

“No.”

Scowling, Himchan crosses his arms. “He’s a child, Yongguk. A child. We can’t-”

“He’s seventeen.”

“That’s still a child! Jongup is the second youngest and he’s already twenty-two! That’s a huge difference.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“That’s a f-cking lie.”

Yongguk sighs and looks back at Himchan. “I can’t leave him here. We’re all going to be out and he’ll be alone.”

“He’ll be safe.”

“Will he though?”

“Safer than out there.”

“Himchan-”

“Did you hear him last night?”

Yongguk looks away. He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t have to.

They all hear him. Every night, without fail, Junhong cries out in his sleep. If he’s lucky, it doesn’t last that long. He goes back to sleep quicker, with Himchan his hair and murmuring soft, gentle words.

It’s worse other nights, when he screams and tosses around in his bunk. His pillow is wet with tears as he bites into it, trying to muffle the noises of sobs catching in his throat.

But they all hear him anyway.

Himchan thinks he needs to stay home from the battles. More horror won’t do him any good, he says. Jongup thinks he should go out more, only so he’d be exhausted when he gets back and hopefully sleep dreamlessly. Daehyun says it’s still the trauma of what happened to Youngjae.

It was four years ago.

Too young, they think. Too young. Too young to have to deal with this, too young to have lived through this, too young to be here and now.

But it doesn’t matter because what’s done is done.

Ever since they had found out what happened to him and how long he’s been here, they had made it their duty to take care of him.

Himchan dotes on him like a mother would, making sure he’s fed and uninjured and getting enough sleep and water. Yongguk is still gruff but knows when to be gentle with Junhong, treating him like he’s fragile when he’s not looking and caring from afar. Jongup is his best friend, always finding something to distract him with when he starts to wander down the wrong path. Daehyun gives him the best of the meals, saying he’s still a growing boy and needs food more than the rest of them and always makes sure to clean his sheets first so maybe then he’ll sleep easier.

They're the parents he'd never had. Not since his died when he was five.

Finally Yongguk sighs. “Fine. I’ll see what I can do.”

Himchan is about to thank him when there’s an explosion that almost knocks him off his feet. The ground is shaking and the bunks are rattling and they stare at each other in horror. Camp’s being attacked.

“Junhong,” breathes Himchan before unsteadily running towards the canteen, the ground still moving in waves beneath his feet. Yongguk follows after him after snatching up a gun. It won’t do much good if it’s an air attack but it’s good to have just in case.

It’s just like they feared-the canteen is up in flames, smoke billowing from the roof. People are running and screaming and Himchan can’t find Junhong, he can’t see him and it’s chaos and there are people everywhere and he can’t find him.

“Junhong! Junhong!”

“Himchan!” Daehyun runs up out of breath, soot on his face and clothes. “Where’s Junhong? Is he with you?”

“I thought he was with you!”

“Maybe Jongup-”

“I can’t find him,” says Jongup, coming up right then with terror written on his face and blood written on his skin.

Yongguk juts his chin out. “Yours?”

“Jiho, from mechanics. I dragged him out.”

“We need to find Junhong!” Himchan almost screeches, starting for the burning canteen only to be held back by Yongguk. “Let go, we need to-”

“No.”

“Yongguk, I swear to God-”

“He’s not out yet and he won’t get out, okay? It’s not your job to save him.”

“It’s our job.”

Yongguk hesitates. The wind has turned and the smoke is now blowing in their faces, bringing along with it soot and panic. The air is getting hotter and hotter and soon it’s hard to breathe. People are getting away from the canteen but they are still close enough to hear the crackling of the flames and feel sparks fall.

Wouldn’t it be ironic if Junhong died now, in his own home?

“Wait.” Daehyun pauses. “Do you hear-”

They all do now.

There’s screaming coming from inside the canteen and they just know it’s Junhong.

“Junhong!” Himchan pulls his arm out of Yongguk’s grasp. “Junhong!”

They see a dark figure making its way through the flames hurriedly, scrambling for footing and from the lanky posture, it’s Junhong. He staggers out of the canteen, still screaming and crying and falls face-first once he’s far enough away.

“Junhong!”

They run to reach him, praying he’s okay and not burnt and still breathing and just okay.

Hinchan checks him over for injuries, relieved to find just minor burns here and there. “Junhongie, it’s okay, you’re okay we’re here, we’re here.” Jongup has gathered him in his arms. The youngest has stopped screaming but is still crying, hiding his face in his hands.

“I saw him,” he manages to gasp out between choked sobs. “I saw him. I saw him.”

“Who Junhong, who?” asks Daehyun, wiping soot from the boy’s clothes. Yongguk is standing over them, acting as a shield between the little huddle and the burning canteen. The fire is still close, making it hard to breathe but they can’t move Junhong now. Not in this state.

“Him,” Junhong sobs, his eyes peeking through his fingers. “Hyung.” He’s thirteen again, seeing an explosion before his eyes, the heat searing his skin and blood staining the ground. He’s thirteen again and doesn’t understand why everyone is leaving and not coming back. He’s thirteen again and he’s seen death.