260 days before

Yi Fan’s POV

Suho stayed at the hospital for almost two weeks. He has fully recovered now. He missed the examinations week but Haru and I let the professors know about his situation that’s why he was given some time to study and to take the examinations. We never left each other – well except for the occasional bathroom calls and except when we have to go home. Suho is doing fine now but I’m still sad. I’ve never felt this lonely. I feel like I’m fighting a battle alone. Ever since Lay talked to me and told about everything, I can’t seem to focus. When I look at Haru, I feel like crying. I feel like hugging her and to tell her that everything’s going to be okay. To tell her that I’m here, Suho and I are here for her.

“Oppa, is everything okay? Why are you hugging me all of a sudden?” Haru asked as hugged me back. I never realised that she is so huggable.

“I always give you surprise hugs. Why are you asking me that question?”

“I know but this happens only every once in a while. You always do this now every time you have a chance. Not that I am complaining anyways. Suho-oppa, won’t you join us?” Haru said.

“Since when did you decided to call me Suho? Kris, let go. I need her hug too. I missed her.” Suho said while trying to push me back. I really love moments like this.

“Guys, let go of me. I have to meet Lay at the library.” She is struggling so hard to push the two of us away.

“You’re so unfair, Haru. Ever since you and Lay started to go out, you became so cold to us. I hate you.” Suho said. I laughed as I pulled Suho away from Haru.

“Let them be. Haru never dated anyone except the two of us. You should go Haru, don’t make him wait. We’ll see you later okay?” I helped Haru put her things in her bag. I need to talk Suho.

“Thank you! I love you, Kris-oppa. I love you too, Suho-oppa! I’ll buy you an ice cream later! I promise!” With that promise, she left the room and went straight to the library. This is my chance.

“Suho, we need to talk. I need to tell you something. We can’t talk in here. Let’s go at the open field. Make it fast.”

“Hyung? Is there a problem?”

“Just make it fast, stupid.”

We made our way to the open field. It’s been a while since Suho and I hung out without Haru.

“What could be bothering you, hyung? I just want to let you know that I’ve been noticing that you’re always bothered by something. Did something happen other than Lay and Haru dating when I was at the hospital recovering?” Suho asked. At this point, I am very nervous to tell him about what Lay told me. After I tell him about everything, we both have to make a decision on what we should do.

“Two words, Suho. Kim Hyoyeon.”

“What? Kim Hyoyeon? What about that name? What is happening?” Suho sat on one of the benches. He’s got the face of an irritated and confused person. His face made me laugh mentally.

“Hyung. What about that? That’s the name Haru’s auntie called her. Don’t tell me that the---“

“Her name is not Lee Haru, Joonmyeon.” I tried not to cry. I tried my best not to swallow the words. I tried my best not to weakness in front of him. I’m the oldest among the three of us. I should be strong. Suho is looking at me as if he already knows everything. I know that look he’s giving me. It’s the look that means you-don’t-have-to-tell-me-I-understand-what’s-happening. He stood up and hugged me.

“Hyung. It’s okay. Tell me everything. I’ll listen till the end. Let’s see what we can do.” I wasn’t crying. I was suppressing it. But Suho knows me so well; he knew that I’ve been trying so hard not to cry.

“Joonmyeon-ah, she can’t remember anything. She would always tell us memories of her childhood but these were only accounts of what her aunt has told her. She doesn’t have any vivid memory about anything. She doesn’t know the faces of her parents. There are no pictures of them in their house. All those things we know about her came from what her aunt has told her. When we ask her about her childhood, she would always begin with “As far as I can remember”. She’s not even sure about those stories. Joonmyeon-ah she’s been suff---“

“You should stop hyung. I don’t want to hear anymore.”

“She suff---“

“Stop.”

“Suho!”

“Stop.”

“Suho! She’s sick! She’s been suffering from amnesia! Her whole life is a lie!” I wasn’t aware that I’ve been shouting at Suho. We looked at each other. Neither of us spoke or uttered a word. Suho left me standing and ran all over the open field. He ran and ran and ran until he was tired. Until his legs cannot move anymore. He’s lying at centre of the open field. He was cursing and sobbing. I’ve never seen Suho this weak and vulnerable before. I kneeled beside him and held him. I don’t care if anyone can see us. I want someone to console me too but right now, I’m the only person who can console Suho. Suho was shaking.

“Hyung. How ed all of these are. Who told you all of these?” He was trying to calm himself.

“It was Lay. Lay was her childhood friend. Haru was told that her parents got on a plane accident right? The accident was true but it wasn’t on a plane. She and her parents were involved in car accident. She suffered a major head injury which caused her to forget everything. Her parents suffered minor head and body injuries. Haru’s aunt told her parents that she was dead on arrival which made her parents to be mentally disabled. They’re not dead. They’re currently at a mental instiution at Gwangju. Haru’s aunt adopted her and changed her name to Lee Haru. When Haru and Lay were kids, their parents decided that they were to be married with each other. The two are very close with each other and Lay and his parents would occasionally visit Korea just to see Haru. Haru’s father and Lay’s father are both working in a telecommunications company in China and that’s how the two met.” I explained.

“How did Lay know that Haru and Kim Hyoyeon were both the same person?” Suho asked.

“Haru’s aunt lived with them. When Lay and his parents would come and visit, Lay would always see Haru’s aunt. She would always play with Lay and Haru. Lay knows that her aunt suffered a miscarriage and can never bear a child again. When he heard that Haru’s aunt runs the toy company, he got very suspicious. A certain Lee Haru was also introduced to everyone saying that it’s her child made him also wonder.”

“I now understand everything. Haru calls her aunt Mother. Lay went to back here in Korea just to know if his childhood friend did really die. And after a long search, he found out that Lee Haru and Kim Hyoyeon are the same person. Haru’s aunt sent her parents to a mental institution at Gwangju and ran the company by herself and made them believe that their only child died. This is so ed up in so many ways, hyung.”

Suho stood up and laughed. He’s laughing and crying at the same time. He’s kicking the grass on the open field. I looked up at the sky and sighed. I felt like crying just a moment ago but now, there’s won’t even come out. I reached for my handphone in my pocket and dialled Haru’s number.

“Oppa, hello. Where are you guys? Lay and I have been looking for you. Are you guys hanging at the open field without me?” She asked. Her voice sounded happy. Somehow, I felt relieved.

“Suho said he won’t be able to come with us to your house. He says he needs to study.” I made sure that my voice wouldn’t sound shaky on the phone. I don’t want her to worry about me.

“Okay. Tell him if he needs my help, I’ll be there. I’m still with Lay. But it’s time for me to go home. Mama’s coming home early so I need to be early. Oppa, let’s meet at the university gate, okay? I’d be waiting for you!” She hanged first.

I returned my phone inside my pocket. Suho is still laughing and running and kicking the grass. I looked at him and he looked back at me. I gave him a nod and decided to leave.

This is going to be a rollercoaster ride. I told myself that I shall never falter. I should be strong like Lay. He endured a lot of things. I need to compose myself.

I turned my back on Suho and left; with me, I brought courage, patience, and optimism with me. I wish that this will all be over soon. She doesn’t deserve to be lied to all this time. I hope she wakes up soon in this dream.