Jongin being there meant Minseok had to be on his best behavior (to be a good role model) and the process with getting everything settled went quickly and smoothly. Minseok had no bad language and made no snarky comments, except for something about his parents rolling in their graves as Luhan wrote down the made-up background story on how Jongin came into existence.

"Okay, can you leave now?" Minseok asked when Luhan was finaly satisfied with everything.

Luhan skimmed the neat list of Jongin's weird habits and likes and beamed at his friend. "When can I take him? Today?"

As if on cue, a gurgle came from the kid, who was asleep, curled up on the rug at Minseok's feet. "No. He's sleeping."

"But-"

"Get out of my face before I regret all this and call the cops on you for attempted kidnapping," Minseok threatened, giving Luhan his famous death glare.

"You're so mean to me," Luhan whined. "Just like Xiuwen. Why do I lilke either of you?"

Minseok gave a noncommittal shrug and bent down to pick Nini up. "The question is why do we like you? And bye."

"I'm coming back tomorrow! I shall be back!"

~ ~ ~

"Wenwen," Luhan wailed into the phone. "I miss you so much. Please come back."

As he paced throughout his empty home, Xiuwen replied, "My parents aren't letting me leave until my ankle heals. And defintely not to live with you after what happened."

Luhan winced at her accusatory tone, remembering how he totally failed as a boyfriend. It wasn't his fault Xiuwen had slipped and fell. He had waxed the floor because he was trying so hard to help around the house. And it wasn't his fault he was too busy napping to hear her cries for help, forcing her to try to walk and make the injury worse. Nope, it wasn't his fault at all. He was also the victim.

"B-but you still love me, right?" he implored, lips forming a pout even though no one could see. 

"Not if you keep asking me that." He could imagine her smirk as she said that. 

"I still miss you though," Luhan said, walking into the kitchen.

"You just want me to cook and clean for you," Xiuwen said, a laugh in her voice. 

"Pshh, no!" Luhan protested while staring sadly at the pile of dirty dishes in the sink. "I never ask you to do household chores."

Xiuwen snorted in the most unlady-like manner. "Yeah, you don't ask me to do it. You just whine about it until I do it." On cue, Luhan began whining, making unintelligble and pitiful noises.

They continued their lovey-dovey banter until Luhan couldn't stand it anymore, and Xiuwen realized, asking, "Uh, are you okay?" with uncharacteristic concern in her voice.

Luhan gulped. "Yeah, I have something to tell you," he said. His plan didn't seem that solid now that his false bravado and adrenaline had faded, but he still forged on. Fake it 'till you make it, es. That was his life motto. "I should tell you through text though."

His girlfriend muttered something under her breath and the call clicked off without another word.

Luhan brought up his messaging app and stared at it. Jongin is my son now, he began typing, hoping to start off with something crazy so everything else would seem more plausible. It was some well-tested psychological thing, he was sure.

Xwen: WHAT?

are you gay for your best friend?

are you going to break up with me for minseok? 

you han

His phone continued vibrating as Xiuwen shot out messages in rapid succession. He walked up to his bedroom as he calmly typed out his explanation.

Lu: no, i'm not gay. this is all part of my plan to convince your parents. 

i show them how dedicated and responsible i am as a single dad, i gain sympathy bc 'omg, the social stigmas of how single dads are all players' and blah blah and it'll be great, yeah?

and i have all the bg info and stuff all thought over and minseok-approved so there won't be any problems with that

i got it all covered!! =) XD ^_^

He held his breath as he waited for Xiuwen's reply. But it took too long, and he ended up kicking off his slippers and flopping onto his bed. The stack of papers he had brought with him fluttered in the air like snow, before laying scattered and dejected on the floor. He would have to clean that up later. They contained vital information and held the key to his future happiness. But the one that gave him happiness was apparetly very pissed at the moment.

Xwen: Firstly,

Luhan stared off into the distance, preparing himself for the worst after reading the first word. Xiuwen had a formal tone, which meant a long essay with social justic terminology was probably waiting for him. It was hard dating an extreme liberal feminist when he was just a dumb guy who accidentally offended people.

Xwen: Firstly, compared to single moms, there are barely any negative stigmas towards single dads. The moms are labeled as s, irresponsible girls and whatnot. They are shunned and disowned. They have to balance work and care for the baby, and probably stop school for a while. But the dads... they are congratulated and praised for just brushing their kid's hair! Where is the equality in that?

And now, for your plan. I'm going to be devil's advocate. I'm not playing that role, I am seriously being that.

Jongin's Korean. We are Chinese. How does that work?

What is your story for how Jongin came about? I would love to hear it.

Why did you hide this important thing from my parents? Did I know about this? 

Luhan picked up a piece of paper from the floor and began typing his response. Halfway through, he switched to voice messaging because typing was too tiring.

"During my college days in Korea," he said into the speaker. "I had a female friend who became a single mother. And conditions were bad, so she was going to give the baby to the orphanage. But I found out and said no! And she gave the baby to me and I became the legal guardian."

He pressed send and started recording again. "Of course you knew about Nini. I tell my girlfriend everything! But we didn't tell your parents because we were afraid of how they would see me. But since they already think I'm an - I mean, an irresponsible man- we, emphasis on the we, decided for me to come clean and tell them about everything."

Taking a deep breath, he sent the final message. The process of saying it all out loud, taking the thoughts and forming coherent sentences, made him a bit more confident. Either it was actually an okay plan, or he was just an expert bullter. 

His phone's sudden vibration shocked him and he quickly turned it on to check Xiuwen's reaction.

Xwen: we'll talk about this tomorrow

face to face

Luhan didn't really know what that meant, but at least she didn't call him to yell. 

Han: make sure you delete these messages so we erase all the evidence of this conspiracy!

There was no response, but Luhan decided it was a good enough sign. He made himself comfortable in bed, proud of all he had done today. It had only been a couple of hours, but he was no longer the dejected boy driving away from the Su house.

"Operation Nini, start!"

luhan is so dumb, but god i love xiuwen. she can totally kick .

anyway, this is one of the few fisc where i post as i write, so comments/suggestions are loved! <3