When you don’t want to remember something, you won’t be able to remember it; you’ll always fail to retrieve that memory if, unconsciously, you don’t really want to.

The heart remembers what the mind forgets. But what if it’s the heart that forgets? It’s the heart whose memories have been erased? Will the mind ever remember and retrieve the memories long forgotten?

Cicadas echo around the park as sunlight streamed down from the big ball of gas in the heavens, illuminating and dousing everything in heavenly light, making everything bright. Umbrellas and blankets litter the vicinity as the heat sizzles and reflects from the ground. Still, people seem unfazed by the blazing weather; rather, they enjoy the time outdoors than resent and shy away from it.

A lone girl walks around flashing her smile everywhere, fascinated by the on-goings in the world. She turns her head from left to right, silently amused and happy by the atmosphere around her. Umbrella in hand, she continues to tread along the rich earth, feeling complete bliss in the sunny day.

I’m sorry, but goodbye…

She suddenly stops on her tracks, her smile breaking. She recalls a voice – a voice continually and constantly booming in her head; a voice forever imprinted and embedded on the walls of her mind.

Her bright demeanor falters and her grip on the umbrella loosens resulting for it to fall down on the ground with a thud. Luckily, only soft breezes blow and the umbrella scampers just a few inches away from her.

Everywhere is still full of bliss, such a happy atmosphere. No one seems to have noticed the frozen girl and the fallen umbrella currently scampering on the ground. Everything and everyone shows no signs of something amiss but there’s a clad of shadows encompassing and enveloping the girl, unbeknownst to everyone. Her smile fades, her vibe turns grey, and her eyes draw and brew a storm inside.

However, this only occurs for a split second. The girl quickly recovers herself and bends down to pick up the umbrella before it totally scampers a good distance away from her.

 A mysterious smile creeps up and forms on her lips as she stands back up, umbrella in hand. After a moment, she shrugs away that scene as if nothing happened and discloses the disturbing thoughts forming in her head and in no time, she’s back to her cheerful self.

No one noticed the polarity of the girl’s mood, the color of her nature. Everyone was too busy. No one even knows her.

“La la la la la la la la ~ la la la ~”

The girl hums a tune as she continues her walk in the park. Bright as she may seem, as good she is in hiding her emotions, her bright demeanor was no longer as bright as before. Something changed. Something is now different. Something is no longer the same.

“But, seriously though,” the girl starts in her thoughts, voiced through , “why did I remember it now? Why did I recall that?”

Her thoughts race around her head as answers to questions begin forming themselves inside her mind. On the outside, she seems nonchalant and happy-go-lucky but take a look at her eyes and it’s a whole new different story. Her eyes are the weakpoints, the chink in her armor.

She continues on with her reverie.

She continues to tread the vast area of the park when, suddenly, cold air hits her and she momentarily shudders. She looks around but no one is reacting the same way as her.

“Weird,” the girl says.

All around, people are still enjoying the bright morning sun – soft breezes sweep the place and lie in perfect contrast yet harmonizes with the warm weather. They lie relaxed and in complete comfort. No one seems to be in chill.

“Why is there suddenly cold air blowing when it’s so hot out today?” she wonders, in complete bafflement, as she hugs her body for warmth.

Her brows scrunch into a frown in wonder and confusion; her eyes deep in thought, borne out of puzzlement at the weird phenomenon. Yet, amid this unordinariness, her steps continue on.

It was like cold winter air. She thought. Unusual for a bright weather like this, but it might just be my imagination.

Her thoughts run like crazy, run wild, inside her head yet she’s left with those thoughts. She continues on with her steps, with her quiet, little adventure at the park, as the sun continues to shine above.

The weather remains bright and sunny. The people continue to stay under the heat of the sun, shaded by their respective umbrellas and the trees around the park’s vicinity.

Birds chirp, cicadas voices ring around the place and goes rampant – nature harmonizes with humans.

This scene continues on going, like an unending and frozen yet moving chapter or fragment in a dream, as the girl slowly fades away into the distance, still humming the same tune, still holding the same pink umbrella, with the same yet differing thoughts, and little by little, melts with the background.

A soft summer breeze blows as people flock the park’s premises – umbrella and blankets litter the place, laughter and bliss everywhere, a total celebration. They bath themselves, the people, in heavenly light and fill their eyes with the wonders of nature and the company of others. Nothing but calmness and stillness envelops the area, save for the chats of the people around.

However, amidst all these jubilance, one walks with a different aura, if this person is to be sensed.

Quiet footsteps, soft footfalls, measured actions – everything she does is with absolute care and measurement. Nothing is ever out of order. Of course, except her thoughts.

Despite her careful and held back demeanor, her thoughts are unrestrained and are not and cannot be bound by any forms of restraint. Her mind is riddled with thousands and thousands of questions – unanswered and questionable questions. Answers also present themselves but they get erased and unaccounted for just as fast as they have popped up and answered, or at least tried to, the pile of questions inside her head.

A sad smile then graces her lips as she unconsciously drifts through memory lane, revisiting and rekindling some memories of her own in hear head. Her eyes twinkle, yet not filled with joy, glee, or happiness. Instead, immense sadness and longing color her eyes and make them grey and lifeless. Almost.

However, only a small amount transcends itself on the surface. Just a fragment, the tip of the iceberg, and not the entire magnitude of it.

“Hide your emotions. Ice cold steel heart. Master of all disguises and pretense.”

She mumbles in the wind as she talks to herself and her steps continue to echo along the wide area of the park.

Her head then dips low, unable to stomach the happiness all around her when she, herself, cannot join in the happiness of the people. She can only throw a sad smile here and there, but never a genuine one. She can only watch yet she can never experience.

Her heart slowly beats inside her chest yet part of it beats as if it would escape her chest. Her eyes show a trace of sparkle yet mostly it holds unspilled tears. Her lips tilt upward for a smile, yet somehow it looks more like a grimace.

She can only imagine the day when she’ll be able to smile again. She can only dream of it.

“But how can one dream of something they can never, ever have?” she wonders aloud.

She drags herself along the park, no longer engrossed and interested with her surroundings. She has since lost it the time she delved into her own train of thoughts, the moment she escaped reality and shrank to the farthest regions of her mind.

But, she continues on to tread along, occasionally looking up to avoid some unfortunate and most unwanted happenings.

Thoughts continue to pile in her head as she continues to drag herself, walking in order to prevent herself from thinking but which is causing her to think too much. A smile then shows itself, a clad of irony in its midst.

Suddenly, she stops in her tracks as something catches her attention. She remains frozen as almost gapes open in shock. Almost.

However, after a few seconds, she recovers herself and an even gloomier mood sets itself around her and wraps her around its clothing. Her eyes long, her tears nearly spilling from her eyes but she manages to stop it from falling. Instinctively, she starts walking towards the person, her feet and heart the one leading her; all rational thoughts swept aside.

Only a few more steps and she’d be able to envelope that person in a hug. Just a few more steps. But she stops midway, she stops herself.

A tear finally escapes her eyes and others threaten to follow suit. She quickly wipes the others away before they even start a ceaseless flow.

Another smile shows itself, but now rather an even sadder one. Her eyes not only long, but presents sorry-ness and pain. Her smile is intact yet seen behind is pain, immense pain.

She quickly settles herself and closes her eyes tight for composure. She takes a deep breath and clears her head of anything except one thought – walk straight and don’t look back. She exhales and opens her eyes, resolution present and evident in them. But, still, pain is peaking on the sidelines.

She finally begins to take her steps.

Never be afraid.

15 steps away…

Do not turn your head once you’re nearer.

14…

Just look straight ahead.

13…

Never mind.

12…

Away with the temptations!

11…

You’re nearer now. Don’t get defeated.

10…

Don’t stray from your purpose

9…

Never stray away.

8…

You’re stronger than this.

7…

I can do this.

6…

Her blood slowly runs cold inside her system as she nears the other’s presence.

Can I really do this?

5…

Doubt begins to settle and beads of sweat start forming on her forehead. She quickly wipes them away.

Can I?

4…

Her heartbeat races and she absentmindedly bites her lip.

3…

She clenches her jaw in a desperate attempt.

2…

Don’t look!

Her hands clench and ball into fists.

1…

And… cross.

She just walked past her, never looking. And so did the other. They just passed each other.

The other momentarily shudders after a moment, as she sees in her peripheral vision. She’s tempted to look back but she forces herself not to. She bites her lips hard and closes her eyes tight and urges herself, ordering her legs, to keep on moving, to not stop right then and there and look back.

Her legs obeyed and onward she goes. Forward, for it was where her legs just marched her.

After a while, she stops in her tracks and finally decides to take a peak. She looks back and flash a lone, sad smile, for the nth time, when she’s finally some distance away.

“I can only stare at you from afar. I can only look. If time permits, I would love to hold you in my arms and never let you go,” she says as her eyes turn to focus on the figure slowly drifting farther and farther away from her.

She stares and continues to look for a while until the object of her attention completely disappears from her line of vision. She then turns her heels and head for the opposite and continues to tread the direction she’s currently heading.

A breeze then blows as she says some words, covering them entirely, yet somehow, an echo remains as her words are carried by the wind.

“Goodbye, Hello…”

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Sorry for the long wait everyone! I'm terribly sorry! TT.TT

I got super busy with school and stuff and I barely got a breather. My ideas are no better.

I know this chapter is really super boring but I hope you'll bear with me. This is crappy and all, but everything starts here (somehow). *insert evil laugh*

This story also has a twist, just as my other stories. (I just love plot twists. lol)

But I guess they're pretty obvious, right? lol. XD

Anyway, enough of my babbles. I hope you enjoyed this chapter although this was very much like trashy compared to the previous ones.

Please bear with me guys. TT.TT

mianhaeyo...

Anyway, this is all for now ~ <3

Sincerely,

Author ^^

P.S. 

Btw, I almost forgot. The tune the girl was humming is from the Pocari Sweat cf. :D