The Way They Reacted

            Originally, we intended to call all the members together and tell them all at once about our relationship, but then we thought it over and decided against it.  First off, it was hard to get everyone together at once these days.  Everyone had lives outside of SuJu as well.  Then, we thought about having that many angry hyungs in one room with us at one time and decided, HELL NO!  As if confessing to Heechul on his own wasn’t going to be bad enough.  I was going to have to cook him a five course dinner, wait until he was stuffed and had a few drinks in him, and then tell him.  And I was still worried that wouldn’t be enough to save Kyuhyun and I, but what else could we do?  We couldn’t ask any of the other members to defend us.  We’d kept the truth from all of them.

            Thankfully, it didn’t go as badly as I thought. 

            Heechul began to laugh as he sat back in his chair.  “I already suspected as much.”

            “Since when?” I asked, still chewing on my nails.

            “Since I returned from the service.  Actually, a little before then.  I was already in Seoul before I was done with my volunteer time…so, when I returned, basically.”

            “You’re not mad at us, hyung?”

            Heechul shook his head.  “I know all about feeling nervous about how people will react to you being in a same- relationship, so you won’t hear any grief from me.  And you know you can always talk to me if you need help with anything.  Right?”

            Both Kyuhyun and I nodded.  If he thought the hesitation was because we were both gay, I wasn’t about to correct him.  Of course, the members already knew I was, but Kyuhyun being gay as well was going to be a new realization for some of them.  And the two of us dating was different than just knowing that both of us were gay.  It meant that there was a different dynamic between us.  But, honestly, there always had been from the beginning.

            “Good ing luck telling Teuk though.”

            I gave Heechul a questioning look.  “Don’t you think Teukie hyung will be supportive of us being in a relationship together?” I questioned.

            “Of course, I do,” Heechul said.  “But he’s not going to be as forgiving about you keeping it a secret for the last two years.”

            Great.  That’s not what I wanted to hear.  So, we decided that we ought to get that meeting out of the way next—before he got even more upset that we waited longer to tell him when half the group knew already—and visited him at his apartment with fresh baked cookies the next day.  I waited until he’d eaten about four of them before bringing up the topic.  (Normally, he watched what he ate a little more, but I knew these were his favorite cookies and even he couldn’t help himself.  In theory, I felt it softened him up a bit.) 

            “Hyung…Kyu and I actually came here to tell you something.”

            Leeteuk looked from me to Kyuhyun and then back down at his plate full of cookies.  “Aren’t you lucky you have such thoughtful hyungs?  Yesung and I had coffee once he returned from Kobe and Heechul called me yesterday.”

            I pressed my lips together and smiled.  I could feel my eyes water a little.

            “I think I understand why you didn’t want to say anything.  You were afraid of hurting Yesung’s feelings and you were perhaps a little nervous about how we would react to the two of you being in a relationship together.  I mean, if somehow it leaked to the media, it would create some problems for the group, I’m sure.  Yesung’s feelings aside—and he assures me that he’s long been over you, Wook-ah—I want the two of you to understand that the rest of us have always wanted to see you happy.  And for a long time, we’ve suspected that you’ve been mutually in love with each other.  So it would have put us all at ease to know that you were already together.  Your hyungs are here to support you.  We aren’t going to try to separate you just because your relationship is harder than most.  Understand?”

            I nodded, whipping my wet cheeks. 

            “Now, to speed this along a bit, I’ve already met with Kangin and I’ve called up Shindong.  Personally, I think you should tell both Siwon and Zhoumi in person, so that might not happen immediately.  They’re both busy at the moment.  And, of course, I think Donghae should hear the news from his roommate.  And I’ve spoken with Henry already.”

            “Henry already knew,” Kyuhyun informed him.

            Leeteuk frowned.  “I know.  That’s what I was dealing with.”

            “Sungmin already knows as well,” I tentatively told him, a little worried.

            “Yesung told me, but he wasn’t in on our plans to bring you two together, so I won’t be speaking to him about his silence on the topic.  I am sorry if our efforts to bring you two together caused problems.  I’m glad that Hyukie came clean when he found out it was causing a rift between you two, even if it was just a prank.”

            “There was some truth to it, though, hyung,” Kyuhyun informed him.  “We were both starting to feel a strain on our relationship when we couldn’t see each other much for several weeks.  I was beginning to panic that Ryeowook was avoiding me.  I’d been trying to bring up the topic of him moving in with me for a while and he kept cutting me off whenever I started talking about living arrangements that I thought his absence from me meant that he didn’t want to.”

            I covered my mouth with my hand and looked over at Kyuhyun, shocked.  “What?”

            Kyuhyun hazarded a glance over at me.  “I’m not even sure what caused you to change your mind and suddenly say yes.  You still want to, don’t you?”

            “I’ve been wanting to live with you for a long time,” I confessed.  “I was just afraid to bring it up because I didn’t know how you’d react, since none of the members knew yet except Sungmin.  I guess, when I thought you were bringing up living arrangements, I was afraid that you wouldn’t mention eventually wanting to live together…so I didn’t want to feel disappointed and kept stopping you from speaking.  I’m so sorry!”

            Kyuhyun let his head fall onto the table.  Leeteuk just laughed at the two of us and picked up another cookie. 

            “So, when are you going to move in together?”

            “Not until after we break the news to Donghae.  Because I think Hyuk will have to move upstairs with him…at least until they leave for their enlistment,” Kyuhyun said, his forehead still resting on the table.  I reached over and began to rub his back and neck, feeling bad for