With the ultrasound image of his unborn son and the Polaroid of Baekhyun in his hand, Chanyeol sat in front of the emergency room, staring holes in both pictures. "I love you." "I love you." "I love you.", he read out Baekhyun's written words, over and over again. Every time a door opened he jumped up from his seat and slumped back down on it when the nurses waved him off.

Kyungsoo, Minseok and Jongdae were home together with the Wu family. Being safety strapped into their car seats, nothing much had happened to him. All three kids had a light whiplash but it wasn't serious and they were allowed to leave the hospital. Only Baekhyun was still fighting for his and their baby's life.

Chanyeol sighed and leaned back into the quite uncomfortable chair. He rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes. "Please be safe! Please be safe! Please be safe!", he was going crazy. It had been hours since Baekhyun was brought into that room, he wasn't allowed to enter. They've said something about a bleeding but couldn't give any further information, yet.

Chanyeol really tried to be patient but slowly he was about to lose his patience. He wanted to know how Baekhyun and Luhan were. And as if heaven had heard his prayers the door of the operation room opened and a doctor stepped into the hall. "Mr. Park?"

Chanyeol flinched as his name was called out. He jumped to his feet and looked at the medic. "How are they?", he asked, face pale and worry filled eyes wide open.

"The bleeding was caused due to a damage in his liver. The baby must have pushed hardly against it during the impact. We could still the bleeding. Your husband is, as far as I'm allowed to say it, in a stable condition."

"What about my son?"

The medic sighed. "It's hard to tell if the baby got harmed. It's heart is beating extremely slow and until now it showed no movements. We've put your husband under general anesthetic, similar  to a temporary coma. He'll wake up on his own but if he doesn't wake up in the next 72 hours, we see no chance for the baby."

Chanyeol swallowed. "That mean's if he doesn't wake up, our baby dies?"

"Yes.", the man in the white coat said.

Shocked, Chanyeol sunk back down on the chair. "Why..it's, I mean he still has three more moths to go but couldn't you..?", he asked, looking up at the medic.

"We could.", the doctor said. "The baby would have a chance to survive. Problem is, if we perform the c-section now, we'd put your husbands life in danger."

Chanyeol got even paler.

"I know it's hard but it's all up to your husband, now. The sooner he wakes up, the higher is the chance that the baby survives. But if he doesn't, we see no chance."

Choking, Chanyeol jumped up from his seat, slapping a hand over his mouth. He stumbled, bumping into a nurse on his way down the hall. He had to throw up. The thought of Baekhyun or his baby dying had his stomach turning. The doctor rushed over to him as he sunk to knees, vomiting onto the floor. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay.", the medic gave him a compassionate smile and patted his back. "Do you want me to give you a sedative? It would help you to calm down a little."

Chanyeol waved the man off. "No need."

"Are you sure?"

"I am.", he pushed himself off the floor, taking a deep breath. "Can I go to him?"

The doctor shook his head. "Not yet. We have to wait and see how he coped the surgery. His values have to stabilize first."

Sighing, Chanyeol nodded his head. "Can I wait?"

"Of course.", the medic said. "But I'd recommend you to go home. You have kids at home waiting for you, right? Don't let them wait and give them a reason to worry. We'll call you if he's stable enough and you can visit him."

Again, Chanyeol nodded. "Okay.", he gave the man in the white coat a small smile. "Thank you, doctor.", on still shaky legs and a queasy feeling in the stomach he left the emergency room.

When he arrived at home the kids were asleep. "They're knocked out from the shock and the drugs.", Kris told him.

"Are they okay?"

"They are.", the Chinese nodded. "But how are you? You look like you feel like ."

A soundless laugh left Chanyeol. "How would you feel if Joonmyeon would lay in a temporary coma? How would feel if they would tell you that the chance for Sehun to survive lies in whether he wakes up in the next 72 hours."

Kris swallowed. "Is there no other way? I mean..."

"No.", Yeol said. "I've asked the same. But if they'd perform a c-section now, Baek would..he...he wouldn't make it.", a tear escaped him.

"Hey.", Yifan cooed and wrapped an arm around his best friend. "Don't cry. He'll make it, you'll see. Tomorrow they'll call you, telling you that he woke up."

Chanyeol gave a smile at the words, leaning against the older. "I'd love to have your optimism."

Later the night when Kris was asleep, Chanyeol found himself in Luhan's nursery, sitting on the floor with his back leaning against the dresser. He had the soft music toy, he'd brought his son for Christmas in his hands and squeezed the small star slightly as he listened to the melody it played. He breathed in, looking over to the wall above the changing table where he had hung up the boy's drawn picture for their unborn brother.

"Oh, please."

He glanced over to the little cradle, praying to all the gods out there that his little boy would ever be able to sleep in his bed. He got up from the floor and stepped to the off-white furniture and laid the plush star into it.

"Daddy?", a soft voice called for him. He found his son standing in the doorway as he turned his head. The little boy held onto a plushy, looking at him with sleepy eyes.

"Hey.", he smiled at him. "Why are you up?"

Minseok let out a sigh and brought a hand up to his neck. "My neck hurts."

Chanyeol walked towards his son and scooped him up. He glanced at the boy's neck, scrunching his nose at the sight of the bruise he got from the seatbelt. "It'll go away soon.", he brushed a kiss on the abused skin.

"Where's Appa?"

"He's at the hospital."

Minseok pouted, eyes filled with worry. "Is he okay? And is Luhannie okay, too?"

Chanyeol swallowed hardly but nodded his head. "He is.", he showed a small smile. "Appa's sleeping now. He'll sleep for the next few days but he's okay. Don't worry."

The boy seemed to be satisfied with the answer and leaned his head on his father's shoulder. "Daddy can I sleep with you?"

"Sure."

Actually, Chanyeol had planned to sleep on the couch. He couldn't bear sleeping in their bed, knowing that Baekhyun's life still was in danger. But he couldn't make his injured son sleeping downstairs, so he reluctantly turned towards the bedroom. The family dog peeked out of the boy's room, watching as Chanyeol opened the door, carrying Minseok inside.

Cookie waddled after them, carefully watching as his owner laid the boy down and then climbed into the big bed. He seemed to be confused, looked as he didn't know whether to stay at the bedroom or not but eventually he turned away and toddled back to Jongdae and Kyungsoo, where he hopped into the pillows and snuggled close to the two sleeping boys.

"Can we visit Appa?", Minnie whispered, yawing and rubbing his eye.

"Sure we can, but he has to wake up first.", Chanyeol answered his kid's question.

"I hope he wakes up soon."

"Me too, honey. Me too."

Chanyeol was up early the next day and left the house shortly after he had taken Cookie for a walk. Kris and the kids were still asleep and Yeol knew that his best friend would take good care of the boys, so he left for the hospital as soon as he could.

The ICU seemed to lay in a sleep as he walked through the doors towards the reception desk. It was strangely quiet, only a few nurses, medical staff and people were there. "Good morning.", he said to the young nurse behind the desk.

"Good morning.", she greeted him back. "How can I help you?"

"Park Chanyeol, I'm here to check up on Byun Baekhyun.", Yeol said. "Is there anything new? Did he wake up, perhaps?"

"Uhm..", the nurse after a short term of silence uttered. "Mr. Park, I'm sorry but I'm not allowed to give you any information about patient Byun's condition."

"Excuse me?!", Yeol gasped. "Why not?"

"It's an order."

"An order? Who the fu-", the words he wanted to say got caught in the back of his throat as he spotted Baekhyun's parents entering the the ICU. "Hey!", he almost roared and stomped towards the couple.

"Chanyeol.", Baekhyun's father voiced out.

"What the hell are you doing here!?", Mrs. Byun snarled at him. "You're not allowed to be here!"

"I'm not allowed?! The !", Chanyeol snapped.

"You're the reason he is here!", the woman growled. "It's all your fault. If our son dies t-" "Hey, hey, hey.", Mr. Byun cut in. "Don't say that. Our son won't die!"

Annoyed, Chanyeol shook his head and turned away. He went back to the nurse and leaned over the desk. "Okay, listen here, Miss.", he growled. "I don't know what this person over there has told you but I now want to know how Baekhyun is!"

Startled the nurse gulped. "Okay..", she stuttered and reached for a folder. "Uhm...Mr. Byun's condition is still the same, I'm sorry."

Chanyeol sighed. "Could I please talk to a doctor?"

"Sure.", the woman said and stood up. "Please follow me."

Yeol followed the young nurse to the doctor's office. She shortly knocked on the door and opened it for Chanyeol. "Doctor, Mr. Park would like to talk to you."

The medic nodded and waved at Chanyeol. "Please come in.", he smiled. "I'm sure you here because of your husband, right?", he asked after Chanyeol had sat down.

"Yes.", Yeol nodded.

"Since yesterday, nothing much has changed.", the medic sighed. "But I'm still sure that he's going to make it."

Chanyeol nodded at the words. "Okay. And what about my son?", frowned when the doctor hesitated to answer. "Doctor?"

The man reached for a folder on his desk and flipped it open. "I'll be honest with you.", he said and handed Chanyeol an ultrasound picture. "Your son's heart beats irregularly and he still showed no movements. I'm afraid to say that he might won't survive the day."

If the breaking of his heart would've made a sound, it probably could've heard by the entire world. And he didn't even had to try fighting his tears because they were already running down his cheeks. "So, you say that he's going to die?"

"I'm careful to say that his chance of survival is not higher than 40%."

"40%...", Chanyeol whispered. "We'll lose him."

"I'm sorry Mr. Park, I would have liked to give you something positive."

"What...", his breath got caught and he had to wipe his still running tears away. "If he...dies...what will happed then. Does Baekhyun have to..."

"Yes.", the doctor said, knowing what Chanyeol tried to say. Even if the baby dies, we have to wait until Mr. Byun wakes up."

"You can't do that..", Yeol bawled, not able to hold it back. "If...if this really happens..no, you can't. God, no...he'd have a dead baby inside him...he would have our dead baby inside him!", he screamed with a tear choked voice.

"I know how you feel, Mr. Park but we can't do anything against it.", the doctor said so quietly that it almost came out as a whisper. "All we can do now is hoping that the little man is a little fighter."

With Luhan's latest black and white picture tightly holding in his hand, Chanyeol stood in front of the room Baekhyun lay in, looking at the figure through the small window in the door. The bed Baek lay in stood at the other end of the room, yet Chanyeol was able to see his face. The pregnant was pale and anything else than good.

Chanyeol pressed his forehead against the glass and sighed loudly. "I love you, Baek. You and our baby boy. ", he whispered."Please Baek, please wake up. Wake up and come back to me."

Half an hour later Chanyeol still stood at the door, watching over his love. Every now and then he sent prayers to heaven, hoping that Baekhyun would wake up and that Luhan was strong enough to cope with everything.

"Come on, baby.", he smiled. "I know you can do it. I know you're strong enough. You a-Baek?!", a loud gasp escaped him as Baekhyun's body suddenly began to tremble. "Hey!", Yeol shouted to get the attention of the nurses. "Help!"

Immediately a nurse rushed to his side. "Mr. Park, what's w-oh god! Doctor!"

Horrified and with a fast beating heart Chanyeol watched as a couple of nurses and a doctor rushed into the room, where Baekhyun's whole body shook like crazy. Two of the nurses tried to hold the spazzing body down while the doctor pulled a syringe. But even after injecting Baekhyun something his body didn't calm down.

"Baekhyun!"

"Mr.Park.", a nurse said and pushed Chanyeol away from the room. "You better leave now."

"What?! No! Baekhyun!", he screamed the name. "Baekhyun!"

"Mr. Park, please. Go!"

"Baekhyun! No."

"Baekhyun!"

"Baekhyun."

"Baekhyun...."

It was a cloudless day and Chanyeol cursed at the sun for shining brightly at such dark a day. He stood there and watched as Kris wrapped and arm around his crying son, whispering into his ear to calm him down. He watched how Joonmyeon reached for his husbands hand while the his other hand found it's way to his round baby bump.

He watched as his sons knelt down on the cold ground to lay down the flowers and stuffed toys they've brought. Jongdae laid down the handful of white roses that were looped together with a light blue ribbon, placing them right next to the flickering candle. His brother stretched a little and leaned their with love drawn picture of the family against the ivory surface of the tombstone. Kyungsoo stood next to the twins, looking down at the cream colored music toy he held in his little hands. Tears rolled down his rosy cheeks while he traced his fingers over the embroidered Name of their unborn brother.

Last but not least, Mr. and Mrs. Byun stepped forwards to say their last goodbye to their son. Closing his eyes, Chanyeol turned away when the mother slumped down, crying out her heart. He couldn't take it, couldn't take her desperate cries. He exhaled, covering his ears as he fled from the scene, leaving everyone behind.
He stumbled to his knees once he was out of sight. He clasped the hands over his head as he crouched on the snow covered ground, crying. Cowered,  he stayed there until a hand touching his own forced him to look up. His tears filled eyes met the red and puffy ones of Kyungsoo. The boy stood there, in his small black suit, with a soft smile on his lips. "It's okay, Daddy.", he said, stepping forwards. "You don't have to hide your tears. Papa wouldn't want you to hide from us.", he wrapped his small arms around his neck and Chanyeol couldn't do much than crying out loudly.

He slung his arms around the small frame of the boy and pulled him close. "Forgive me, Kyungsoo.", he sobbed into the crook of the little one's neck. "This is all my fault."

Yes, it was all his fault; all his fault. His fault that Mr. and Mrs. Byun have lost their one and only child, his fault that twins would never be able to meet their little brother and his fault that Kyungsoo now was an orphan. All his fault. This all only happened because he had to doubt Baekhyun's love for him. All because he didn't let the other explain himself. No, instead of listening to him, he hung up, giving him the feeling that he didn't believe in his faith and love.
It was all his fault. All his fault that Baekhyun and Luhan died. His fault, all alone.

Baekhyun was dead.

Dead and he'd never see him again. Never again he's be able to see his beautiful face and stunning smile. Never again he'd be able to hear his laugh and smell his scent. Never again he'd be able to look into his soft brown eyes, run his fingers through his hair and kiss him. And never again he'd be able to wrap his arms around his petit frame, telling him how much he loved him.

Never again.

Never again, because Baekhyun was dead. And so was Luhan.

They were dead.

Dead.

Dead and gone.

Gone forever.