It was 12A.M. and everyone had too much beer. The class trip wasn’t meant to be so crazy, they all knew. Secrets were never meant to be spilled, and nobody cared.

“I think it’s time for beer, don’t you agree?”

Everyone cheered cause being the immature kids they were, drinking beer without parental supervision is the cool thing to do. The mood returned to it's lightness as everyone joked about how they're going to look like after beer, whether they're going to go mad and start singing or knock out straight away. Namjoon and Jungkook both looked at each other, a sweat trickled down. They didn’t tell us beer was involved in this. All of them then gathered to a circle, forcibly for those two’s case. The blonde boy dashed towards to the hotel fridge and grabbed two cartons of beer, not really grabbing I guess, you can put it as him crawling out with the heavy load weighing him down. They all the passed a can for each person, all opening it at the same time.

The sound of the can being opened sounded exactly like their safety.

Doomed.

“And how about a game of truth and truth,” he snickered.

That sentence sounded like their privacy.

Double doomed.

Everyone (being a little tipsy already from one sip cause they all have stupidly low alcohol tolerance) agreed and laughed in approval. So, already being in a circle, everyone suggested which game would decide which person would take the punishment. After throwing out a bunch of useless opinions, they decided to just go with the feel.

“Who shall go first…….why not Scarlet?” He said with a sly grin hanging.

She frantically looked around for help before shyly nodding, heart still unprepared for the billion-dollar question. Her friends just laughed while reassuring her that it's all for fun, just take it lightheartly. But really, as innocent looking everyone was, their souls were already dirtied with sins and their lips are tainted with the ugliest words. No questions can escape their mind; only those from the lips.

“Your question would be… who’d you in this room right now?”

Her face reddened even more that the alcohol effect, hesitating a bit while looking around before a soft whisper escaped from her, “…. Kim Namjoon.”

Namjoon widened his eyes and stared at her, wondering what the hell he just heard. He never interacted with any of the girls in his class, let alone physical contact. What on earth did he do that attracted this girl -he would much want to call her stranger- to think that? Also, he thought it was pretty obvious that he liked, erm, people with . Everyone cheered with their minds already clear of who is the next target as she downed beer in embarrassment.

“And our Namjoon, would you her if you had a chance?”

Namjoon thought for a while. “No, why would I? Who am I to take her ity anyway.”

Oh, what a gruesome game this was. She hid her face in awkwardness as everyone took another sip of beer in pity. Namjoon then pointed at another person and threw a question out. 

“Tasha, why did say Jason’s was big?”

The girl stared with agape as Jason choked on his beer.  She laughed nervously and avoided the question, trying to change the topic into something else. Everyone kept quiet and stared hardly at her, forcing her to answer it, as briefly as possible. Jason? Well, he was pretty contented at the fact that someone thought his was huge. The game continued after that, as questions got more and more raw.

"Jenny, why did call me a in front of them?"

"Henry, when did you start liking me?"

"Sandra, did you really steal your friend's boyfriend?"

More and more indescribable questions come afloat, the truth was bled out to dry. All their concerns and misunderstandings placed on the spotlight as each person revealed their side of the story.  There were bonds broken and made, as each slice of the truth poisoned their souls. Some regretted playing the game as secrets they fought so hard to keep had spilled, some thanked the lords. The game killed while healing, resulting into an ocean of emotions in the small hotel room.

"Lastly, let’s ask Namjoon one more question.”

The silver-haired boy sat there calmly, raising an eyebrow at the sudden mention. He held the empty beer can in his hand, swinging it lightly in circles as he waited for him to muster the question out. Almost everyone was too drunk to listen, with Jason already making out with Tasha in the next room and Scarlet hugging Oscar to sleep. The rest has already collapsed and the blonde boy was on the verge of vomiting every drip of beer. Jungkook was slightly drunk, but upon seeing Namjoon being picked  again, his nervously started to feel his heart race.

“Tell me, do you still like him?”

Jungkook choked on his beer. Why did they have to ask that question? Why can’t he just get drunk and pass out? He avoided this topic throughout the whole process yet it still came and bite him from behind. He wasn't ready to hear his answer, not just yet. What if he couldn't reciprocate the feelings Namjoon wanted? All he wanted to be friends again, to forget their past relationship, cut out the awkward past they had. Jungkook doesn't want to feel guilty for not being able to give him what he needs anymore, he just wants to keep things simple. Why do people keep wanting to put me in this ing spotlight god damn it, he complained in his heart. His eyes darted to the corner where Namjoon sat, unsure of what he will say. The taller male thought for quite a while before looking directly at him.

“Yes, I still love him. I feel sorry for what I had done to him.”

No, stop. Don’t say anything.

“When we were still dating, I only cared about how I was in a relationship more than how I was in love with him. I never cared for his needs and took him for granted. He endured so much for me and yet there I was, fooling around. He could have dumped me but he gave me a chance I turned away.”

Enough, Namjoon stop talking. He isn’t listening anymore.

“I love him but I know I can never bring things back. I can’t bring back what he has ever tried to give me. Only after the break-up, I realize how beautiful he is. I love how he smiles ever so sweetly. I love his tiny scar on his hand. I love his stupid laugh. I love how he dances ever so gracefully. I love his silly dubsmash videos. I love him.”

Don’t do this, please. You know I can’t handle it; I never dare take the risk. You know very well I might not accept you after this.  I feel guilty enough for what I had done to you. Please stop making me feel like this, Namjoon-ah.

“No matter how nice I treat him now, no matter how I try to work things out, I know that he won’t be mine anymore. But yes, I still love him. From the first time

I met him to the first confession; every second and every minute, I love him.”

There was a silence.

“And I love you too.” 

A/N: and that's it! wow what a trip. comment and subscribe if you like and I find me on twitter for a chat! @Poon_Cassy

main pic: fy-jeongkook