I was head over heels with you since the first time I laid my eyes on you. I never doubted that. I was so sure about how I felt about you. You are the best thing happened to me. 

At first you were so afraid to trust me. You even accused me for being a player. You told me I am just bored and there you are. Someone who will take away my boredom. But you arent. I love you and I am being true about my feelings. I maybe a player but thats all in the past now. That time I was just so in love with you without thinking all the possibilities.

Its hard to start. You are hardest approaching to impossible to get. No one knows you while Im thhe popular one. I was open with my feelings while you seemed to be disgusted with me. I wasnt stopped by that. I put my courage on and do my best to have you. Hoping that in time you will like me or love me back the way I do.

It wasnt easy. Hiding and secret relationships were not really my thing. You always told me that you are so proud having me. My friends know about us while your friends are oblivious about us. Although I was never discreet in showing how much I like.

Dont you think its hard? Competing with those guys who Im sure got the qualities you would want. An oppa of yours even crushed my hand because of you. He said he is glad finally meeting. I can also feel that he gave off the vibe that telling me you-cant-do-any-good-for-her. The second guy is your classmate. He told me he is sick and he wants to be with you for the remaining days of his life and I was like who-the-ing-cares-about-you-dying smug face on. I dont intend to be rude but he provoked me to. He was telling me that I can get whoever I want so I better just give you up. The hell. Despite of the good looking face I am still a girl and in this country gay people are not welcomed.

We've been together for 8 years. I dont expect that to be that long. You were always the short tempered one. Through you hard times I was always there at your side. I was your strength. Someone you can turn to when everything turn their back on you. 

I miss those times. I really miss how playful and carefree we were. How you managed to capture this heart. Should I tell you? I am confused. I dont know what to say. If I tell you this are you going to understand me?

"Krys?" I asked you while you are busy checking on your laptop.

"Yes?" You answered without looking at me. This is what I hate about us. We grew as a individual but also grew apart as partners.

 
"Can you still remember the last time we hang out?"

"Last month?" You are not even sure what is happening to us.

You always cried because of me. Now its the other way around. How is it when Im the one who is crying? Can I stop that? If Im the one who is having a hard time, do you think I cant let go of you?

We got our own degree I got my license and now I am down to my second course while you. You are so focus with your stock trading and your present job. I fully gave you my understanding because of that. I know you also understand me.

"Krystal?"

"What is it Amber?"

I always stop when you asked me what is it. Am I stupid enough not to break it off with you? I just dont know where should I start or what should I say? 

Its not like what we used to and I think I cant take it back. The sweetness is long gone. The spark we felt slowly fading. The connection is becoming a blur. I dont know how you will know. 

I hate myself for not admitting I fell out of love. Its not like we used to. Its different. I can make you own my heart again.