Five years ago, 2010

 

 

“I think I like Park Jia”

 

“I think I like Park Jia”

 

 

What the ? Hyung?

 

He widened his eyes and drop his jaw, “Taehyung,” He mouthed. “Hahahahahaha” and then laugh, laughing so hard to the point where he looks like he’s going to choke himself. “Okay, what's with the face?? aahhahaaha, stupid I was just joking!” He placed his arm on my shoulder, “Don't tell me you actually think that I like Jiah”

 

Hyung, That's exactly what I thought about. “Aren't you?”

 

“Ha-ha, No, Taehyung, I don't!” He leans on my shoulder, “But if you do like her than I would gladly offer my help!”

 

Hyung, I do like her, but I don't want your help.

 

“ahahahaahahahahha” I try to laugh harder than him, “ahahahahaha hyung why are you like this?!?!” I shove him away, “Now, Hyung, do you actually think that I like her? ahahahahahaha” 

 

“Arent you?”

 

No, hyung, “I don’t”. I love her.

 

---

 

present day, 2015.

 

 

‘You should go to college’

 

Ah, just to hear that from you already makes me feel this happy. Jiah, Jiah, Jiah, Why do I like you so much?. Is it something about your smile? About your heart? About your… ah… everything, i think it's because of everything. To look back, there's plenty of things that I pinned up in minds, but then it's only stay there as a— wait, Kim Taehyung, since when did you sounds this smart??

 

 

“Taehyung!!!!” Jin Hyung, you don't have to yell over the phone,

 

“What?” I clucked. Seriously hyung, can you like call me back later, I’m having a hard time on knowing which one is what and which is—

 

“Where are you?!?” And why are you sounds so desperate?

 

“Supermarket, buying all your—“

 

“Jiah!! Taehyung! its Jia!!” 

 

Heh? “Jia?”

 

“She’s! She’s—“

 

“SHE'S WHAT!? HYUNG!”

 

“She’s been out before dinner and haven't comeback—“

 

I hung up and quickly leaves the place. Argh, Jiah! where are the hell are you?!?

 

 

---

 

 

Five years ago, 2010

 

 

What is wrong with her. Seriously, the son have both done with the crying since days ago, but why is she still making that face?. Can you not do that? Like, I don't want to cry again for a different reason.

 

I walked up and sit next to her who have ben still for more than two hours. “Why are you still here?” I asked.

 

“i— I should've not let her work” She mumbled, “I Should’ve—“

 

“You should've not said something like that” I hold on to her hand, “Do you want to know a secret?”

 

She didn't respond. So I guess, I should just say it?.

 

“My mom never thought of it as a work, she thought that she's doing it because she loves you and Jimin so much. She doesn't work for you, she cares for you, she loves you and…” Should I continue? “She always thought of you guys as her child”

 

She was being silent but know she's the loudest one in the room. Cry herself out, snuggle inside my tiny arms and keep nudging at me until she ran out of energy. I— I actually feel bad to look at her like that. I probably should not say that kind of thing, I know that it will remind her of her own mother— and my mom too, like mom… why… mom… why…

 

 

And so in the end, we both genuinely cry our heart out, try to be accepting the fact that they’re no longer here, that they’re already watching over us from a better place. 

 

---

Present day, 2015.

 

 

“Jiah!!” I shout for her name, “You should at least tell him! Hyung is very worry!!”.

 

There she is, like any other day when she’s feeling down. Standing in front of her mom’s and my mom’s grave, like a guardian angel. If only I’m not here to pick her up than she can stay there until she died out of hunger and cold.

 

I put on my coat on her, since she stupidly went out with only a shirt and jeans, not giving a damn with the autumn night breeze that will surely prick my skin in a whoosh.

 

“I just missed her— no, them” She chuckled, “Sorry, I miss your mom too”

 

Sorry? If more than anything I feel glad.

I want to say something to comfort her, but, I can't find one. I can't find anything that's better than a hug. 

 

I wrap her around my arm and let her use my chest to cry on her sadness. If only, If only you would open up and tell me why are you like this then I would gladly be something more than an ear. 

 

 

 

 

It's been ten minutes and you still cry like a baby. Now I’m sure of it, it's more than you missed them, there's something else that bothers you, right?. “What's wrong? Tell me”

 

“Dad—“ She tightens her grip making my back hurt for a little, “He— he’s back…”

 

 

 no fcvking way.

 

 

 

---

 

seven years ago, 2008

 

“Eomma, being rich must be fun” Again, I found myself staring at a Jimin’s toy collection while helping my mom clean up his room, “I bet all of these worth more than our savings”

 

“Being anything must be fun, most of the time” She pats my hair, “Isn’t being Kim Taehyung is also fun?”

 

I nod, “Of course it's fun!!” and smiled at her, ah, I might be a boy, but sure I hate it when mom makes that kind of face.

 

“But is not always fun, and just like Jiah and Jimin”

 

Heh? what are you talking about. “what do you mean?”

 

“Kim Taehyung, do you want to know a secret?” she looked at me in the eyes while hold on to my shoulder, “You should be thankful for your life, not because it's the best, but because it's better than someone’s. One day, one day, when you’re older you’ll understand what I meant.” She smiled, “And can I ask you one more thing?”

 

“Uh.. of course…?”

 

“No matter how miserable a ones life is, as long as they have someone to love and someone who loved them, there will always be a warmth to keep them alive.  so if one day you found a person and you have your warm for them, please, keep them in your warmth”

 

At that point, I don't really get what she's saying, but, “Okay, I will, ” I know that I should remember it for the rest of my life.

 

 

---

 

Three years ago, 2012.

 

 

 

“Taehyung!” Someone calls for me. “Are you going to practice today?” Oh, apparently its some guy from the football club. 

 

“Nope, I got some anime to be marathoned, see you guys tomorrow!” I politely refuse.

 

“Ahaahahaaha! See you!”

 

 

And so finally The school is done and now I just have to go to Jiah and Jimin and then walk back home together like any other day. But then, not like any other day, I can't find any of them near the class or club room, or—

 

“Taehyungie~” A bunch of girls stop me from entering the last room which probably have jimin on it. “Can— can you give this to jimin, please?? hihihi” She shyly gave me a box of something which had a Jimin’s name written on it, with a heart emoticon in behind.

 

“Ehm, sure?”

 

“Thank you!! Taehyung-ssi, thank you so much!” The bowed to me, then left.

 

Hah..., as always, I will always be Taehyung the mail man. Being the bridge of every girl who falls for Park Jimin in school. But that's not so bad, cause Jimin let me have most of the items, and I must say, it's kinda awesome. 

 

 

“Yo! Taehyung!”. Okay, Now, this, this is not awesome. “Have you seen Jiah?”. Ah, it must be them again.

 

“No, I haven’t" This is probably the first time I’m being honest with them.

 

“Hmm, do you have any idea where she might be?”. 

 

“I don't” Now I’m back at my usual self, lying to this bastard. off from her, don't you dare to get near if you can't even know where her sanctuary is. “Why don't you ask Jimin?”

 

“No way, asking her twin will be very awkward”. Lol, so you think asking me is not awkward? I am offended by that.

 

“Well, then sorry, I can't help you. See you”

 

 

 

 

Okay, that kind of glitch is really-really annoying. Now I forgot just why am I end up in this place—

 

“Taehyung!!”

 

Oh, not again— wait, “Jimin??” I turn around and finally found a ray of light. “Ya!! I’ve been looking for you! Where have you been”

 

“ahahaha sorry!!” He clings to me, “Eh, what's in the box?”

 

“Here, some marmot asked me to give it to you” I hand the box to him.

 

“Marmot? So now you call Park Jimin’s fangirl as marmot?” He sneered, “Come on, come up with something better!”

 

“I ran out of brilliant idea, and energy. Jimin, you should just date one of them and fire me, or I don't know, hire a new mail man?” I whined, “I don't have enough space to contain all of your presents”

 

“If to fire you I can but to date I can’t" He shrugs, “Park Jimin only seek for perfection~”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Both of us decided to look for the last of our kind, or should we say Jiah.  She usually can be found in the library or any kind of place where me and Jimin will never put ourselve in. But oddly, she's nowhere can be found near any of smart people, places, and it starts to make us worry. “Where is that noona??” Jimin keep on looking behind the tree as we now enter the school yard.

 

 

 

“Jiah! Let's go home!” I feel like I’m calling for a lost puppy. Now I moved to the hallway as I told JImin that we should separated to make our search easier.”Jiah!” And so my voice is echoing in the hall.

 

“Hsst! hsst! stay quiet!”. I can hear a voice, “It must be taehyung!” It came from the girls toilet. I know this might sounds wrong, but I feel like I just have to go there, not to get inside but to stay outside and “Oh no! Do you think he heard us?” eavesdropping. 

 

“No, I bet he’s already leaving”. Oh, I think they’re marmots, or JImin’s stupid fangirls. “Ya! Speaking about Taehyung, why don't you just give it to him? I mean, let's be honest, He’s more handsome than Jimin!”.

 

What the actual .

 

“I know but like, hello, Park Jimin is the real deal. Let's be realistic, look doesn't really matter if you have money. There's always this procedure call plastic sur—“

 

 

 

 

“What a shallow mind you have” I can't take this anymore, “You guys are the worst”. I showed up and hits on the door, making a loud ‘bang’ sound that scared the out of them. The frightened look of them, I actually think that they deserve it. 

 

 

 

 

 

And after that, I don't really want to continue staring at those pathetic look they made, I’ll just have to go back and look for— “JImin?”

 

no, Don't tell me that— don't tell me that he was here all the time. “Tae— taehyung, is— is that true?” Crap. He heard it all.

 

I grab his wrist and ran away with him. “No! It's all bull. Don't even let those hideous thoughts enter your mind!” I said as we keep on running. 

 

“But you know what, tae. That wasn't actually the first” He stop and let my hand go. “I was kinda used to that. Cause as they said, Money can solve everything”

 

“No! no it cant—“

 

“YES IT CAN!!!!” Jimin raised his voice, as he pointed out to the other school building, the school warehouse across the one where we stand our self in, “Look,” He pointed at a window, where I can clearly see,

 

“Jiah?” yes, Jiah and some other kids around her, doing, no, this is wrong— “PARK JIAH GET YOURSELF OUT OF THERE!!” I scream my loudest until it reaches the other part of the building.

 

She only turns around look at me who’s also looking back at her, from far away. “Taehyung,” she mouth. 

 

Stupid!! 

 

 

I ran my best to that warehouse. Seriously, how can I not know any of this! I thought I knew everything but— 

 

“Taehyung…” She’s the only one who looked at me with scared, while the others are just variously glares at me, “No, it's not like—“

 

“Shut up!” I grab her wrist and hides her behind my back as now I face five other students who’s I'm not sure whether they can recognize me or not, with that intoxicated look they have. “I’m going to report this to the teacher”. I took a picture of them being high with bottles of alcohol, injections, cigarettes and I don't know what powder they have on the table.

 

“ you Kim Taehyung!!!” They start to come at me with any kind of punch and fist. 

 

“Jiah!! Get out of here!” I told her to leave while I still have my voice with me. To keep up with five drunken kids is sure tiring, “Get out!!”. 

 

She just stands there like a tree.

 

“I say get out—“

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And the next thing happens is that I found myself lying on a bed with, infusion, bandage and cast. Its cold, and white, Guess I must be in the hospital, then. Well, If only I worked out more instead of spend my time with naruto I can win over— wait, “JIAH?!!”

 

“Taehyung..” Someone squeezes my hand. I try to get up and look up, but I can't. My head hurts, “Tae— tae— you’re awake…” 

 

Ah, this soothing voice, thank god, I still can hear it. “Jiah, is that you?”.

 

She gets up and looks at me, “Tae— I’m sorry—“

 

“Are you okay?”. I don't need your apologize, stupid.

 

“I’m— I’m okay, but you’re—“

 

“Did you touch it? did you touch those illicit stuff?” Now Lets talk about you, not me.

 

“No! I didn’t touch any of those!! I was just passing by and I saw them and— and— they said that I have to pay for— for it and stay quiet or they’ll“.

 

“Thank god” I smiled with my swollen face, damn it, I must look terrible.  “Those bastards, what happened to them?”

 

“Jin,” She mutters, “Jin came not long after that. He brought us out and, he’s now at the police station—“

 

“IS HE OKAY!?” I get up, damn you hyung!!

 

“Yeah, Jimin— jimin just told me that they drop the charge, he, he should be okay” She start to cried. , no, don't cry like this, “I’m sorry It was all my fault”

 

“Your only fault was not telling anyone” I sighed, “And I have forgive for that, but only if you promised that you will never hide any kind of problem”

 

She stops crying and bow, “I— I will”

 

 

 

 

I'm sad, I'm really sad. Not because I got bruises and all, but I'm sad because I feel useless. Damn it, is that really how they see these two people? Out of every good thing they have why do they only care about their money and power? Screw you people if only you're lucky enough like me then you'll see why I treasure them so much.

 

 

---

Five years ago, 2010

 

“What are you doing?” She came in my room.

“Can't you see? I’m packing up” I hide my face from her and keep on putting a very clothes that I can find in my luggage.

“Why?”

Seriously, do you have to ask why?. “Mom is gone, so, Hyung and me, well— why are we still here”

“Why are you saying that?” She barge in and messes all the clothes, “Stupid! Kim Taehyung you’re stupid!” throw away my clothes to the floor. 

“What are you doing—“

“No, what are you doing!?” She exclaimed. “Why do you think I want your mom to stay while she works? Was that because you guys were about to lose your house?”

It was, right?

“No! I— you know what, actually, I was just being selfish, I was just being selfish by wanting a new mom and a new family. I want JImin to have a friend who is not me and I— I selfishly want to make this house alive”. For the first time, she looked at me in the eyes with a want, “And so I’m going to selfishly ask you and Jin to stay”

Oh my god, I never thought you were this selfish,

“Stay because you’re a family, and— and stay because I don't want to lose another family, Please, please stay if you feel the same” She bowed, no, she bowed down at me.

“get— get up,” I told her, “Look you look stupid,” Please…

“I will only get up once you decided to stay” She mumble.

Ah, this girl, “Fine! I’ll stay, but then What about hyung—“

My mouth got shut off by a throw of pillow, “Pabo,” Ah, I knew it, “Of course, of course we have to stay” Hyung gave me a hug from the back, “Ah, taehyungie, stop being serious, go back at your dorky self”.

“Taehyungie!!!” And even jimin too.

Ah, now I know why she’s being selfish, if I was her, I would probably do the same.

---

 

present day 2015.

 

“Your— your dad?”

 

She move away from me, “Kim taehyung,” and showed me her hand, “I’m going to get married” which has an expensive diamonds of lies on her ring finger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now I get what you meant mom, I should totally keep her in my warmth.