I was one of the biggest losers in school. I wasn't the smartest kid, but I followed the rules and never went out on the weekends or got invited to anyone's parties. 

 

A few years ago there were an elite popular crew and everyone else were regulars - invisible to the elite ones. But over time, there is still an elite crew, like the guys standing before me laughing, but most of the regulars seemed to socialise with the popular ones and the number of 'normal' people, the invisible ones, seemed to shrink. 

 

And in that transition, I was left behind in the invisible minority, still invisible to anyone except the nerds who hang out at the library. But my problem is, I make myself invisible. I don't socialise with anyone, I seem so awkward and shy but I do it on purpose. I sit in an empty, quiet corner of the library and skim through the pages of a random book at lunch time, and I eat my lunch in the disabled toilets on the other side of the school block where no one can bother me or even notice I am there. 

 

Somehow I think, making myself invisible, makes it easier for me to get through high school... Somehow.

 

Once Seungyeon realised who I was - not that he knew who I was, which is exactly what I mean. He looked at his friends and began to slowly laugh at me. 

 

One of his friends was crying of laughter as I sat on the floor with who knows what showing through my now transparent shirt. I wanted to cry, but the water from my bottle now running down my face already disguised any tears threatening to fall from my eyes. But before he and his clique left, leaving me on the floor cold, wet and hurt, Seungyeon looked me in the eyes. I could tell he was apologetic. He looked at me as if saying 'I'm sorry, but I have a reputation to uphold', and he seemed embarrassed about his friends who were snickering things like "kitty Kat" and "Meow" as my kitten bra was clearing showing. I should be angry that he was too embarrassed, or rather, thought he was too cool to help an invisible, but for some reason, it made me think about him all day. 

 

He was different to them. He shouldn't be apologetic towards an invisible. That's not who he is 'supposed' to be. But the way he looked at me was so genuine that I understand him, I understand why he didn't help me. His automatic instinct was to help when he almost stretched his hand out to me, but his pressure to uphold his reputation got the better of him. I returned his apology with a slight nod that I made sure no one else would be able to see. And with that, he and his friends took off. He didn't look back, did I expect him to? I don't know. Of course he wouldn't.