I should’ve known that something was up. The doctor’s had asked me to come into a therapy session with Wonho, which could’ve been something that happened when Wonho wasn’t talking but now that he was, I never really had to go in with him. Secondly, when we got there, we were told to wait outside for a few minutes, they said something about not everyone being here. We were almost always went straight into the appointments. Then the others turned up and we were quickly ushered into the room. We all sat on one of the chairs in the circle, slightly confused about why we were all here.

After a few confused looks and shrugs between the six of us, a doctor came and sat down in one of the free chairs, there was still another free chair next to him. He then began to talk to us, “Now, I think I’m right in saying that you’re all confused right now. We wanted all of you to have a therapy session together. We’ve been waiting for everyone to be capable of this and now, we believe that now is probably the best time for it. We’d like you to meet someone who will be helping us for this session. We want you to know that this is safe, that they won’t hurt you and that we feel this is in your best interests and also at this person’s requests. Will everyone be okay with this?”

I’m definitely felt confused right now but I nodded. If this guest had requested it, I wouldn’t turn them down. I’ll just have to be very prepared for both myself and Wonho. Wonho was in his nervous position, perched on his feet, knees to his chest and his thumb between his lips. The others were quite tense, sat unusually in their chairs.I watched as the door opened and in walked a small, slim figure. They wore a loose dark tracksuit and trainers but it was obvious who it was when she sat down and pulled back her hood. The whole room became a blur of motion. I saw Wonho run into the corner when he realised who it was. He cowered away from her, remembering his nightmares. He remembered her hurting him, forcing him to be a killer, even her killing him and that was terrifying him. I immediately went to help him, trying to calm him and rubbing his back. I wasn’t sure how convincing I sounded, I was sure my pure hatred at her was evident in my voice but I tried to keep it hidden for Wonho’s sake. Wonho was crying, begging in whispers for her to leave until he just collapsed against me, the fear and burst of other emotions all at once had taken everything out of him so he had just passed out. I lifted him up and lay him on the bed in the corner of the room and sat by him, waiting for him to wake up.

Casper was being held back by Sangmin and a doctor. He was angry, teeth bared like a wolf at Ms Kim. He was obviously angry, he was shouting. “You ruined my life! You stole me away from my family, my friends! Why are you here! Get away from us! You disgust me!” Sangmin was trying hard to calm him, whispering into his ear and holding his arm.

Seyoung was kneeling on the floor, his head between his hands like he was in pain, his mouth open in a silent scream. It was like he was back in the asylum again, when he was trying to explain how to hypnotise someone. He was in pain, maybe because of the memories. I thought that maybe Yongseok would’ve been there to help him but he wasn’t.Yongseok was just wandering around the room, not even making eye contact or looking at Ms Kim. Maybe he was working with the thought that if he can’t see her, she wasn’t here and it was just his imagination. That didn’t last long, he had to look back, to confirm that what he saw was reality but he soon saw Seyoung and decided to help him.

After about five minutes, we had called down. Casper was sitting in his chair, looking at the floor with his fists clenched. Sangmin sat beside him, watching carefully in case he were to flare up again.

Yongseok had moved his seat nearer to Seyoung, who was still holding his head but was sat in his chair now. Wonho had woken up so he was back in his seat, not even looking at anyone. I was the opposite, I was angry, my glare moving between the doctor and Ms. Kim.

She didn’t even look the same. Her face was paler, she didn’t have make up on. Her eyes looked like they’d sunken back into their sockets. Her hair was messy, pulled back in a loose ponytail that showed the tattoo behind her ear. She looked like she’d had a rough time in prison but I didn’t care. She made me lose my freedom and I suffered, so why should I care about her suffering?

I was the first one to speak up. “Is anyone going to say why she’s here? We’ve spent over a year recovering and some of us obviously still haven’t. It’s all because of her, she took us from our families, friends and our lives. Yet you bring her in here and expect us to be okay with it? Didn’t you see what happened? We fell apart! If there’s no other point in us being here, I’m leaving and Wonho is coming home too. He isn’t fully recovered and you decide to show him the one who caused and shows up in his nightmares. He’s not ready for this and quite frankly, I don’t think any of us are.” I say, standing up and moving towards the door. I hear the others do the same before a bell like voice rings out.

“I asked for this because I want to explain myself. It seems that this wasn’t one of my best ideas though. If you want to leave, I won’t blame you. Just listen to what I have to say first.” She says, not looking up from her clasped hands in her lap. I look at the others and we all return to our seats. She continues with her explanation. “I didn't want to hurt any of you, not like this. I wanted quite the opposite. I wanted to help you. Each of you was so perfect but I saw flaws. I wanted to help you with those flaws because I didn't want them to be taken advantage of. Takuya, when I saw you, you were gorgeous, almost inhumanly beautiful. But you were lonely, like an ice prince in a castle with only your own company. You looked alone, I gave you friends, didn't I?”

“Casper, you were wild and free. I almost thought you could speak to animals. I wondered if you managed to fit in, you seemed withdrawn from society. So I helped you, gave you a way to integrate with others in a way that you could learn social skills.”

“Sangmin, you were smooth. You got around things so easily that you did anything. You honestly looked irresponsible and anything you did could've easily hurt you. I gave you a way to become self-dependent. You found out that you had to progress through self-actions with my help.”

“Seyoung was being walked all over by his older brother. I gave you the chance to be the oldest, to be the one for people to look up to.”

“Yongseok was so happy, always putting others first. I thought he had Saviour Complex, meaning he likes to help people before helping himself. If he'd let people, they'd take him for everything they could get from him, even the clothes on his back. I wanted to make sure he knew to value himself, to consider himself before others.”

“Wonho was always the one I cared for the most, the one I definitely wanted to help. He wanted to make his efforts stand out. But from what I saw, he barely got even five seconds of someone's time. I wanted to help him be recognised. I didn't tell the others about him and they wanted to know him. He became someone.”

“On the way to helping you, I discovered hypnotherapy. It was a good way of instilling characteristics into someone for a long period of time. Eventually, interest and obsession got confused. When given power, I went too far, I got attached. I wanted you to stay, I planned to let you go when I saw that it worked but I just couldn't so I tried pushing my feelings onto you. I know I was wrong and even if you can't forgive me, tell me that you accept my apology. I don't want to be told it's okay, being told it was okay means that I could do it again but by accepting my apology, I know for sure that what I did was wrong. I'm really sorry."

The room had gone silent for a few moments. I had something to say so I said it.

"I can accept your apology. I can see why you did it but I think you misread the situations you saw us in. I'm not lonely. I thank you for giving me friends but I just prefer my own company some of the time. I have friends but sometimes it's nice to just sit by yourself and read a book or have a coffee.” I took a breath before beginning again.

“Sangmin can get around things, he doesn't avoid things instead he finds easy ways of solving problems.” He was really quick in thinking up ideas in short time periods. Sangmin looked surprised that I was sticking up for him but honestly, it just felt natural to do so.

“Casper is wild because he likes to have fun and enjoy himself, he can see the potential for fun in things that I couldn't.” I remember how Casper would run around back in the asylum, didn’t seem to care about being confined because he had a new place with overflowing potential for games and jokes. 

“Yongseok just likes helping people. He's selfless but I know he'd think more than twice about things that would be a big ask, like loaning large amounts of money to someone.” He always insisted on buying us something to eat whenever we met but when Seyoung jokingly asked for Champagne and Caviar, he just put his wallet away and shook his head.

“Seyoung simply loves his brother. If his brother wanted to treat him, he'd see it as something his brother wanted to do for him and he'd do it but he'd insist on buying him something in return.” I’d heard Seyoung call his brother before and I lost count of the times I heard him say, “Let me do this for you, you already do so much for me” or “I insist” made me positive that he loved his brother.

“Wonho just wants to be recognised by those he's close with. He doesn't like to celebrate anything, he wouldn't let me throw his a birthday party because he just wanted to be with close friends. He'd rather spend an evening watching a movie with the 5 of us than go out clubbing or partying with people he doesn't know well. He's quite reserved.” Wonho shrunk back in his chair, he really doesn’t like attention.

“I just want to know if you are aware of what happened afterwards, I take care of Wonho now and I have been for over a year. For months, he wouldn't speak and he'd have nightmares of you trying to kill him. I'd be there to pick up the pieces in the morning. He helped me too. I got angry at myself because I promised him that you wouldn't be allowed out of prison. When you were released, I was under stress from my job and I just got so angry that I just broke down in the end. Wonho found me lying on pieces of a broken vase in a trashed room. He picked me up, helped me to my room and helped me piece myself back together again. I can't speak for the others but I helped two people recover, Wonho and myself, it wasn't easy." I explained, I was sure that the others were surprised. We never told each other how we managed to get to where we are now but she had to know the truth.

Each of them agreed with me. They each told their own little recovery. Sangmin, the extrovert, had become an introvert because he was afraid to trust even those closest to him whilst Introverted Yongseok had become an extrovert, trying to make himself forget about his experiences by surrounding himself with others to take the focus away from him. Friendly and fun Casper turned violent and was abandoned by his friends, he even lashed out at them at one point. Seyoung had been taken at a time where his father was terminally ill and he'd even ended up missing his father's funeral. He was shunned by his family and told to never come back. No one else was any better or worse off than another.

She listened carefully to each person. She just stared blankly at the floor throughout. She couldn't even look us in the eye after what she'd done. She had made a mess of our lives and now she can't stand to hear how we'd changed because of her. In the end, she just nodded, wouldn't try to justify her actions. In the end, she thought she was helping us. I guess she did, she gave us people to depend on. She just nodded and left after that. She wanted closure. She got closure.

None of us heard about her after she left that room and it's been months since. Maybe she went abroad, maybe she moved to another city. I don't know what she did. I just hope she learned from her actions, now knowing the consequences of it. I'm just happy that she wasn't around to hurt us anymore. I guess she wanted to move forward and by doing that she had to get over her past.

She helped us. I guess that was what she was trying to do. She did help us on the end, she helped us make friends that we can depend on. I guess she needed to meet us, maybe we needed to meet her too. I think it helped. Maybe we should have met her sooner, maybe we should have gotten closure sooner. Would it have made a difference? Maybe not but it would have just been easier on me. Just tear off the plaster, don't pull it off gradually. Neither hurt less but with one, it's over sooner. Maybe it was right to wait until I was ready though. How would I have reacted otherwise? I probably would've done something I'd regret. Either way you look at it, I'm just glad it's done now. No matter how you see it, the result is still the same. We've got our lives back.

And what happened, well, that's all in the past now.