“Kibum-hyung, we’ve finished setting the tabl- YAH! Taemin, get off my back!!” I heard the sound of Minho falling to the ground behind me, omo, will Taeminnie ever grow up?

“Okay, dinner’s ready anyway.” I said stepping over a heap-of-Minho to the table. “Yeobo! Get over here, dinner’s going to get cold!” There was no point in calling Jinki-hyung, he knew what was for dinner tonight, he’d be here in five… four… three… two… one…

“OMO! CHICKEN!!” Damn, off by a second…

 “Jjong said he’d come when he’s ready by the way…” Jinki coughed under his breath, but I still caught it. Geez, what the hell is with Jjong lately? He’s been acting so dumb. This kind of reminds of how he was acting before he told me about Se Kyung, but that was over a year ago… I hope he didn’t get another girlfriend. Wait – I mean I hope he didn’t get one without telling me first. Yeah that’s what I mean… you keep telling yourself that Kibum, maybe you’ll believe it someday. So not helping myself here.

You see, lately, I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that I might like Jjongie more than a friend, and to be honest, I think that as long as I don’t go over bored, liking him more than a friend will be okay. And let’s face it, if it came out to the media that I was gay – I don’t think it’d be much of a shock. But, when it came up in a discussion at my birthday party… well Jjong’s been acting weird since then…

“Kibum-umma, do you find the stuff fans say about you and Jjong-hyun weird?” Taemin had asked.

“I really don’t think I’d be too shocking if one of us actually felt that way.” Suddenly, the air had become much thicker. I looked around and saw four sets of eyes on me.

“What?” I asked, blinking, I didn’t see anything wrong with a boy liking a boy. “Are you all homophobes or something?” Every one quickly shook their head.

“It’s not that Kibum, we just thought… well does that mean you like Jjong?” Jinki asked, I couldn’t help but giggle.

“No, I was just saying that I wouldn’t be shocked if he fell for this fine eye candy.” I laughed at the end, and Taemin smiled, Minho just shook his head and turned back to his game. I noticed Jjong looking at me with emotional eyes, mixed with confusion amusement and… well, disappointment, I think.

And ever since then, he’s been acting all standoff-ish. I sighed, I guess he was mad that I didn’t disregard the comment properly, everyone knows that the skin ship we share on stage means nothing, I’m starting to think that the skin ship we share anywhere means nothing. He hasn’t hugged me or held my hand in forever – or at least it feels that way.

“Nice of you to finally join us.” I said in a sarcastic tone, side glancing at the boy who had just sat down in the chair next to me. He made a small grunt in reply.

Taemin, Minho and Jinki were off in some conversation I never bothered to join, and since Jjong just sat down, he wasn’t involved in it either. Usually if there’s a silence between us, it’s at least a comfortable one, but suddenly it became awkward, and I felt the need to say something. Doesn’t mean I knew what I was going to say though. I leaned towards him.

“Yeobo, what’s with you lately? Is it your time of the month?” I giggle lightly at my last comment, hoping to get either an amused, or irritated response, I did get an irritated one, but not because of my joke.

“Could you not call me that?” he said shoving some rice into his mouth.

“Call you what?” I said placing my hand on his thigh; he pushed it away as soon as I made contact.

“Yeobo. Stop calling me Yeobo.” He sighed looking away.

“B- but… but that’s what I’ve always called you-“ I pouted.

“Well we don’t mean it, so why waste our breath?” he said putting another spoon full of rice to his lips.  The way he said ‘mean’ bugged me. I don’t get it; does he think I don’t mean it? If anything, he didn’t mean it! I meant more than he did. Geez. What the hell?

“I mean it more than you do, or ever did!” I said, probably too loud since Jinki hesitated in finishing his sentence.

“I’ve always meant it!” he yelled back, we were both standing now, about an inch from each other faces.

“Whatever! You’re like that with everyone! I just never said anything, but you know it’s always bugged me.”

“My . I don’t call anyone but you yeobo.” I’m so confused, what are we fighting over?

“Jjongie! What are we even fighting over? We obviously want to be calling each other something that endearing.” He opened his mouth closed it, and blushed a bit, hits of scarlet tinting his cheeks ever so slightly, most defiantly not noticeable if you were sitting down at the other side of table – where a confused Jinki and Minho sat, Taemin just looked worried.

“Yah! Kibum, shut up! You don’t know what you’re saying!” he said and stormed off towards his bed room.

I looked at every one and smiled apologetically, and took off after him.

“Jjong! Tell me what’s going on!” I was about to ram into his back, but he turned and caught me in his arms. I looked at him; he leaned in a bit closer.

“This…” he breathed. I held my breath, I didn’t ever want to be in this situation because -  my thought were cut off by his lips meeting mine. My face felt hot and I didn’t know how to react – I thought he would yell at me – until I realized I hadn’t kissed him, he kissed me. He pulled away; he eyes seemed deader than I’d ever seen them. “…I don’t mean.” He finished he sentence and left the room. I couldn’t move, I was angry happy and sad all at the same time. The door blew shut behind me. I took the chance of privacy to quietly break down on the ground in a big sobbing heap.