Hoseok smiles at everyone before leaving Seokjin and Namjoon's apartment.

It's cold outside, and when he breathes out his breath turns into a little cloud of fog.
Hoseok thinks the city is pretty when it's like this, darkness surrounding it but the lights still fighting. Hoseok thinks it doesn't specify any weaknesses or strengths. It's just the city, nothing else.

They were pretty like this, Hoseok thinks, and smiles to himself.

His apartment is messy, and Hoseok reminds himself to clean it up later today when he has woken up.
His eyes dart to the old music player and the CDs next to it, every single one of them being a little bit different mixtape.
Hoseok never really buys CDs, he just chooses songs and burns them to the discs, so everything is different. But Hoseok likes it, though.

It's 2am, and Hoseok still isn't asleep. He thinks of pulling an allnighter because he doesn't have anything to do later today, anyways.
Hoseok just lays in his bed, playing the mixtapes and thinks.

Hoseok thinks about how Seokjin and Namjoon met, he remembers how happy he was for Seokjin, he is Hoseok's bestfriend, after all.
He thinks about how stressed Seokjin was over their first date, Hoseok remembers laughing at him because how could Namjoon not like Seokjin? They would have been a perfect match even if this soulmate thing didn't exist.

Hoseok then moves to Yoongi and Jimin.
He thinks about how caring and sweet Yoongi is towards Jimin.
He remembers how he once found those two dancing in the rain, just skipping around hand in hand. 
Hoseok remembers helping Yoongi when he was making a song for Jimin.
Sometimes they're polar opposites but at the same time they're so similar.

Of course he can't forget Jungkook and Taehyung, how they're sometimes basically glued to each other.
Hoseok thinks how happy they are together, how they are the newest couple and all.
He finds Taehyung and Jungkook absolutely adorable, he likes how around Jungkook Taehyung just 'calms down', and how Jungkook can let go of his, sometimes, strict rules for himself.
They both just let each other let go of their usual selfs, and Hoseok finds that somehow beautiful, like they're just full of trust.

And Hoseok thinks about all of them, wondering how his life would be if they were still there.
He smiles, but doesn't quite catch himself if it's sad or not.

Hoseok never really misses the colours. He knows everyone usually will miss them but he just doesn't.
Colours were a once in a lifetime experience for Hoseok, so he thinks he can survive with black and white too. Of course Hoseok can.

"I miss you", Hoseok murmurs to no one really.
He looks at the table where there's a picture of them. Everyone always asks who the person in the picture is, and Hoseok always answers that it's his cousin. 
Hoseok tells lies, but he can't let them know about his now-dead soulmate.

Hoseok sighs, he doesn't want this to just turn into another night when his mind is just filled with them.
But they were, Hoseok hates to say were, something that made Hoseok happy.
Hoseok was always on cloud 9 when he was with them.

But they are gone now.

They are, and Hoseok is slowly accepting it.

Hoseok doesn't want turn into those who commit suicide after losing their significant other. 
Hoseok doesn't want to sink to deepest pits of the ocean, gasping for air while water fills his lungs.
Hoseok doesn't want to die, he wants to continue living.

"You will always be in my heart, my sunshine", he says and smiles because even without them, Hoseok has still something that makes him happy and loved.

Hoseok knows his soulmate was, possibly, the best thing that has ever happened to him and Hoseok still loves them.

As Hoseok said, they're still his sunshine, his lifeline, but they always said to him that no matter what happens, Hoseok has to always stay positive.

And Hoseok will, for them, and for himself.