// July, 2015//

10 : 00 PM

Sooyun was busy checking her  phone while waiting for her download when the boys rushed in.

“You guys look so exhausted, it must have been tough today oh?”, Sooyun greeted them.

Bobby leaned next to Sooyun as he spoke, “but it was worth it.”

“you guys totally deserve it.”, Sooyun said shortly as she packed her things.

“hey, where are you going? We’ve just arrived and you’re going home already?”, Jinhwan protested.

Sooyun sighed as she put her bag down, “you guys also need to rest, okay?”, Sooyun turned at the boys. “Oh, don’t forget to check your emails, your demos are up already, make sure you guys listen to them,  especially you, Junhoe.” Everyone turned at Junhoe who had just arrived in the room.

“Hah? What’s wrong?”, he was startled to hear his name mentioned before him.

Sooyun tried to hold her laughter seeing Junhoe frantically asked Yunhyeong and Chanwoo what was going on when he was away. The rest started to realize that Sooyun was joking on him.

“Aa, Noona, what’s wrong with me this time? Do I still need to retake my part?”, he began to feel worried.

“Easy Junhoe, you did great, your voice is lovely, I’m just kidding, you guys really need to have a proper rest tonight.”

Yunhyeong and Donghyuk laughed at Junhoe who was still processing what had just happened to him.

“wait, but I’m serious about the demos, your debut is about to come and you guys have been doing great  up to now, keep it  up.”, she smiled, “but, for now, you guys really need to rest and,”, she paused to turned at Bobby, “shower.”

“okayyy, got it.”, Bobby raised his thumb to her as she walked pass him.

“hmmm, why can’t you stay for a little bit longer?”

“I would if I could, I still want to hear your story from today’s photoshoot, also your songs and all, but I think not now,”, she bitterly smiled, “pleaseee, forgive me this time, will you guys?”

“Okay-okay, you can leave now, we’ve met Joohyuk hyung on our way here anyway.”, the boys crookedly smiled at her,

“stop it, don’t give me that look.”, Sooyun hardly smiled as she left the room.

Bobby exhaled. “Let’s just go home then, she’s right, we need to rest tonight.”

“and shower.”, Yunhyeong added as he checked his self.

Hanbin sighed, “I still have things to ask her anyway, but yeah, let’s just go home for now.”

Jinhwan was going to turned the computer off when he found out that Sooyun was watching Joohyuk’s drama before they came, the rendering window was left opened with other windows showing some random news related to the drama, most of which pictured Joohyuk and his co-star together :  fans hope these two can date in real life, the rumoured couple caught holding hands while in set, agencies hadn’t yet confirmed the rumour but fans start to speculate and collect proofs.

“Hyung, what’s wrong? Aren’t you coming with us?”, Bobby was checking Jinhwan when the headlines caught his attention as well. “Hyung, what are you doing?”

“I don’t think she’s okay right now.”, Jinhwan said shortly as he closed the windows and turned the computer off.

“Hyung, it can’t be true right? Noona won’t get bothered by that kind of gossips anyway, they better realize that he’s dating her right now.”

“but they never know, and Sooyun, she’s still a girl anyway.”

“wait, I think you’re not talking about her anymore,”, Bobby paused, “they’re different, she won’t dump him just because their relationship should be kept secret.”

“I know they’re different, that makes me worried, she might not dump him, but how about him?”

Bobby fell silent. “let’s just go home, Hyung, it’s not even our business.”

//

Bobby and Jinhwan had just stepped out of the lift when they saw the others hid behind a pillar next to them.

“what are you guys doing oh?”, Bobby exclaimed just before Hanbin shushed and mouthed him to stay behind the pillar. Jinhwan was following behind him.

Their van was in view, not far from it, under the dim light, they could see Sooyun was talking to a guy, from his height they recognized him as Joohyuk at instant.

“what are they talking about? I can’t hear a thing, why should we hide?” , Yunhyeong asked Hanbin who stood at the front.

“lower your voice, it doesn’t seem good there.”, Hanbin turned his head at them.

Bobby turned his head at Jinhwan, they exchanged a quick look.

/

“what’s wrong with you? Now you believe in such a crap?”, Joohyuk rose his voice.

“why you got to be so pissed if it’s just a crap then?”

“because you believe it-“, Joohyuk paused as he breathed, “we’ve talked about this many times, and what’s wrong with you now?”

“I’m just asking, can’t you just answer it? Can’t you just answer it like many times before?”

“let’s stop this, you’re tired, I’m tired, we can’t talk like this.”

“why don’t you just go home then? Why bother pick me up now, I don’t even ask you to do so.”

“stop it, Sooyun.”, he snapped at her, “are you a kid hah?”

Sooyun turned her face away from him, tried to calm herself before she started to speak.

“I was fine at first, I didn’t even care, but then it grew more frequent, more news were up, more photos, more people hoping you two dating, oh no, they think you date her,”, she paused to face him, “I’ve been waiting for you to tell me the truth, to make me believe that everything’s okay, but you never came, you never said a word about it,”, she bitterly laughed, “it’s just the company who ensured me that everything’s okay and that I shouldn’t let out a word, can’t you imagine how it feels?”

He stayed still.

“Let’s go home, you’ll get sick out here.”, he finally said as he pulled her hand.

Sooyun refused, “I’m fine, just tell me.”

“It’s not that simple, let’s get on the van first-“, he again tried to pull her hand but she refused hard.

“something had happened right?”, she blankly asked and yet he was still silent until she turned and was about to leave when Bobby suddenly came to her view, running towards her.

“Nooonaaa, I thought you have gone already, you forget your journal!”, he held a journal high on one of his hands as he approached her.

Sooyun was as surprised as Joohyuk to see Bobby suddenly came to sight.

He was panting when he handed out the journal to her.

“Bobbya, I think this is not-“

“No noona, it is yours,”, he paused and looked at Joohyuk, “we still need her, Hyung! Our debut is soon to come, make sure she’s okay at least until our debut! I count on you, Hyung!”, Bobby playfully asked Joohyuk before he returned to Sooyun, “see you tomorrow Noona, the others are still in cafeteria, I won’t make them wait any longer.”, he giggled as he left her.

/

Bobby returned to the boys when they hadn’t even proceeded what had just happened.

“are you out of your mind, Kimbab?”, BI protested.

“she’s about to cry.”, Bobby said to himself.

“what?”, Jinhwan confirmed

“it must be hard on her.”

“is she coming with him?”, Bobby asked the others who were still watching the scene.

Donghyuk nodded.

“let’s hope that  everything’s going to be okay for them.”

/

Sooyun was still holding the journal, Bobby’s journal, no, Bobby’s random books filled with lyrics and all. Everything that had ever come to his mind, he put it down there before moved to the next steps. She felt her eyes wet when Joohyuk suddenly talked,

“let’s talk about this while heading home, didn’t you hear what he was saying?”

Sooyun held back the tears and turned to him.

“just tell me everything, I’m okay.”, she said as she followed him to the van.

“It’s always him all this time, no, it’s always them right?”, Joohyuk suddenly said as the van started to move.

“what do you mean? We’re going to talk about you now.”

“but before that, I want you to admit it.”

“what are you talking about? What I need to admit?”

“that you’re happier when you’re with them than when you’re with me.”, Joohyuk said plainly.

Sooyun fell silent as the window pictured the night city lights.

“what makes you think like that?”

Joohyuk breathed in the air  before he talked, “you always seem to be happy when you work with them, even when you’re tired or that you need to stay up all night, you still look happy, and you rarely or even never answered my call when you were with them. How should I feel about it then?”, he turned to face her, “we can’t just go out together, the company won’t ever let us to even have the same photoshoot, no one will speculate but we can spend time together in a phooshoot, but they keep thinking it’s too risky. How about you working with them all this time. I am your boyfriend, but who gain most of your time huh? Who gain most of your attention all this time?”, he paused and turned away.

“Joohyuk, I don’t mean to-“, she hadn’t finished her sentence when he continued,

“yes, the rumours have been up for so long, but you never seemed to get bothered by that.”, he bitterly laughed, “until now you finally asked me, but where have you been all this time? You were waiting for me? Were you? Or you were just too busy?”, he returned to her, “It was a rumour at first, the rating started to climb up as it spread, but now, I don’t even know how I feel right now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“no need to sorry, at least now you realize how it feels to be like me.”

“so, are we even now? But you haven’t told me yet, how do you feel about her?”

Joohyuk took her hands in his. “Sorry to make you worry this much, I wish I didn’t need to go this far to make you turn at me, but you left me no choice, that now you finally realize it, I am the one who need to be sorry.”

“so, how do you feel about her Joohyuk? Please tell me the truth”,  

“I don’t mean to-“

“enough Joohyuk, that’s okay, I’ve heard enough, it’s okay, I know, it’s me who turns you to be like this. It’s okay.”, she couldn’t hold her tears any longer that the fact slowly settled in front of her. She cried in his arms.

“I’m sorry, Sooyun, I’m really sorry.”

Sooyun hugged him back,

for the last time.

At that night, they finally spent time together, in the van, hugging each other,  for the last time.

3 days later, the agencies confirmed that Joohyuk dated his co-star. A long awaited couple turned to be real at last. Leaving the heartbroken one remained unspoken.

//

Sehun : U OK?

[...]

Sooyun : Y

Sehun : don’t lie to me, you stink when you lie.

Sooyun : it stinks because I’m in the toilet you idiot.

Sehun : umm, let’s see, I’m free tomorrow, can I come to watch movies together? Chanyeol hyung is in his home, you don’t want your brother to rot in his dorm alone, don’t you?

Sooyun : you stink more when you lie, we’re twins, we both stinks when we lie.

Sehun ; whatever, I’ll come tomorrow.

Sooyun : up to you.

Sehun : good girl.

[...]

“still stalking him? Want me to kick his ? Or snatch her from him?”, Taehyun’s voice broke her thoughts as he entered the studio.

Sooyun laughed, “what are you talking about, I’m texting Sehun. Yes, I want you to kick his , can you do it then?”

“aishh.”, Taehyun sat next to her.

“It will surely add some sparks on your image, after all the things you did carelessly, kicking Oh Sehun will be a cherry on top.”, Sooyun laughed.

“don’t ever mention it again, I’m tired of people saying I’m such a mannerless idol.”, he sighed.

Sooyun bitterly smiled. “Okay, Okay. Why you’re here anyway?”

“Oh, that, yes, I want you to listen to a track I’m currently working on.”

“well, let’s listen to it then.”, Sooyun let Taehyun to prepare the track for them to listen.

“here we go.”

The music started and they turned silent, ears on the music.

//