Hello! Um. So I wrote this chapter, and I tried to make it funny, but I don't think I;m a very funny person.... :( I hope you'll like it, but... :( 

Italics are for emphasis.

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In which Kris tries to murder Sehun and Lu Han. And they respond by cuddling.

******

The morning of April 21st had been fairly peaceful. There was always the low hum of the radiator and the sound of Kyungsoo cooking, but it was mostly quiet.

Kris woke up that morning to comb his brown hair and get ready for the day.

He had expected to cuddle next to his boyfriend, Tao. He had expected to wake him up with kisses. He had expected a hug. 

He had not expected to hear a scream and walk out to see Tao panicking in the corner, pacing back and forth, and foaming at the mouth.

"Woah, woah, woah. What happened?"

Tao tried to respond. But his words came out in broken stutters and all Kris heard was the occasional chatter of his teeth.

"Tao. Babe. Calm down and tell me why you're acting like a rabid dog."

Said maknae slowly nodded, crawling onto his side and getting into fetal position.

"Ge. My. Gucci. Bags."

Kris' eyes widened. "Your bags?" he murmured.

He got up and ran into the closet, searching for the huge shelf of name-brand bags. In the process, he tripped over his jacket.

It was stained green.

"Green?"

He picked it up, examining the damage.

Turning it over in his hands, he sighed. "I'll have to buy a new one," he muttered.

Looking up, he found the precious Gucci bags.

They were stained green as well.

"Oh ."

He ran back outside, where Tao had begun to get up.

Kris ran after him, pulling him into his arms and restraining him.

"I'm going to ing kill whoever did this."

"Calm down. I'll buy you new ones. Don't kill anybody. Please."

Tao struggled to break free of Kris' embrace, eventually growing tired, and collapsing into a crying fit.

~~~~~~

"Yeollie!" Baekhyun called from the bathroom. 

Chanyeol looked up, getting off their shared bed and waking towards the bathroom.

He knocked twice.

"Baek, do you need something?"

"Yeah. Yeollie, can you help me with this?"

"Mm."

Chanyeol opened the door only to be greeted by the presence of Baekhyun, in a sundress and wig, wearing lipstick and eyeliner.

He froze. 

"What did you do to my boyfriend?"

The older male rolled his eyes. "I am your boyfriend. I want to go out without being mobbed. Now help me zip this up."

He turned around, and Chanyeol was met with the back of Baekhyun's dress.

Except it wasn't the back. There was no back.

"Is this a backless dress?"

"Yes, now hurry and zip it up."

Chanyeol grabbed his boyfriend by the shoulders, forcing him back around.

"Baek, I could give less s about you wearing a dress or a skirt, but you are not going out in a backless ing dress."

Baekhyun glared at the taller male. "And why not?"

"Because you're my boyfriend, and there's no way in hell I'm letting teenage boys whistle at you."

Baekhyun's anger bubbled away into laughter. "Ok, Yeol. You win. I'll change."

He pushed Chanyeol out of the bathroom and locked the door. 

Chanyeol smiled, walking back towards the bed.

~~~~~~

Sehun ran into the room, slamming the door behind him and locking it.

He slid down the wall, breathing heavily.

Lu Han looked up from his laptop.

"What's wrong with you?"

Sehun glanced back, too tired to respond.

He stood up shakily, still panting.

"So. Um. Kris found the jacket and the paint somehow got onto Tao's bags. He's angry."

Lu Han sat up, shoving his laptop away to move to Sehun.

"Wait. He was chasing you?"

"No, but if I go outside, he'll take instant revenge."

"Oh . We're so dead. He's going to kill us. I'm too young to die, Sehunnie. I want to do things and go places. Oh god, have mercy. I don't want to be castrated yet. There's so much food I want to try and-"

At this point, Lu Han started pacing around the room and pulling at his hair, the rest of his rambling fading away to mumbles.

Sehun sighed.

"Hyung. Hyung. HYUNG!"

Lu Han stopped pacing the room to look up at the maknae. He grabbed the other's shirt, pinning his against the wall, a crazed look in his eyes.

"What do we do, Sehun? I don't want to die!"

"Woah, woah, woah! Hyung, calm down!" 

Sehun pried Lu Han's hands off of him. The older male wailed, collapsing into a pile of despair on the ground. 

Sehun straightened up, shrugging imaginary dust off his shoulders. He say down on the floor, ruffling Lu Han's hair.

"'Kris hyung won't kill us. I have a plan."

Lu Han looked up, and, seeing the mischief in Sehun's eyes, smiled.

~~~~~~

Kris sat in the hallway outside Sehun and Lu Han's door.

When Sehun came out, he pounced on him, tackling him to the floor. 

"I'm going to kill you for making Tao cry."

"And how will you explain that to the other members?"

Kris huffed, getting off of Sehun. He smirked. "You'll be begging for mercy soon enough. You and Lu Han."

Sehun raised an eyebrow.

"How about we make a deal instead. I'll pay for all the Gucci bags, along with Lu Han, of course, and you don't kill us."

Kris chuckled, "No way."

"Come on, hyung. We both know that you made a promise to Tao to buy him new bags and you don't want to spend that much money."

Kris pursed his lips. Sehun had a point. He had been saving up for a new car.

"How about you pay for the bags and I kill you anyway?"

Sehun chuckled. "Hell no. This is your last chance. Take it or leave it."

Kris groaned. "Fine. But I want the bags by tomorrow."

The younger male smirked. "No problem."

~~~~~~

Sehun carefully closed the door behind him, locking it.

Lu Han pounced  on him. "Did he say yes?"

"Of course he did. He doesn't want to spend over 20,000,000 won on bags."

"Great. Let's proceed to the nest step."

The pair moved towards the bed, Lu Han looking over Sehun's shoulder as he his laptop.

"By the way, how did you fins out about Kris' password?"

Sehun snorted. "His password is the same for everything: Taoismyboyfriend."

"Wait. Seriously?" 

"Of course."

Lu Han burst into a fit of laughter. "H-How stupid."

Sehun hacked into Kris' bank account, logging in to check the balance. His eyes widened.

"Holy crap.... This hyung is ing rich."

Lu Han wolf-whistled. "80,000,000 won. That's about $80,000, right?"

"Yeah. That's plenty to pay for the bags. And a few new ones as revenge for pouncing on me, of course."

He pulled open the Gucci store website, adding on the bags that Tao had. Including a 2 or 3 randomly selected ones.

When the check-out finished processing the order, Sehun leaned back in his rolley-chair. "Done."

Lu Han stifled a laugh, eyes wrinkling in mirth. "Kris is going to freak when he gets the bill."

He sank back into his designated spot on the bed, pulling the covers up to his neck.

"Sehunnie. When are the bags coming?"

Sehun looked up at the screen, running his hand through his hair and throwing his arm around Lu Han's shoulders. "Tomorrow. We have time."

"Until what?"

"Kris finds the bill and tries to kill us again."

"Oh. What should we do?"

Sehun shrugged in response, nuzzling his face in Lu Han's hair.

"We'll cross that bridge when it comes."

"Ok."

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So! I hope you liked it! :) I tried my best! :( Although I'm sure this is not the greatest piece of comedic fanfiction you have ever read, I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Subscribe and comment! Comments help me improve my writing! Until next time, my friends!