Tomatoes

Discussions and Debates

Hello! I'm finally back! It's been a good three weeks of preparing for this story! I had my friend L edit this one again, so I really hope you like it! I'm sorry if you don't, it's my first time trying to write comedy..... :) This series will not have a perspective change or an inner monologue like my last one did... So please remember that!

Italics are for emphasis.


In which Kris and Lu Han have a debate over unicorns, and Kris becomes a tomato.

 ****** 

"I'm the one that's right."

"No. Lu Han. Stop."

"You're just afraid."

"No, you're just stupid."

"Kris is afraid of unicorns."

"You saying that does not prove that Yixing is a real unicorn."

"But all the evidence points to me being right."

"Your opinion that he looked cool in a horse costume is not valid evidence."

"And why not?"

"Because that's not how it works. You're using an opinion. That makes it invalid."

"It's not an opinion. It a fact. Yixing looks good in a horse costume. How could it get anymore factual?"

Kris groaned, sitting on the couch and glaring at Lu Han. 

The two had been at it for quite a while now. The conversation first started when the members were playing Truth or Dare. Sehun had dared Yixing to wear a stupid costume and he had come back as a horse.

After that, Lu Han would not stop trying to stick ice cream cones onto Yixing's forehead, convinced he was a unicorn.

"I can't tell if you're just ing around or if you're serious about this."

"You know what, I'm going to ask the other members. They'll agree with me. You'll see."

And with that, Lu Han stomped off in search of Kyungsoo.

~~~~~~

He was confused. Really confused.

"Wait. How does Lay dressing up in a horse costume make him a unicorn?"

"It wasn't just because he dressed up in a horse costume. He looked good in it."

Kyungsoo sighed. "Sorry, but I agree with Kris hyung. That doesn't make any sense to me."

Lu Han pouted, sticking his lower lip out. 

"Kyunggieeeeeeee. Why are you so mean?"

At this, Kyungsoo rolled his eyes. 

"I'm leaving. I'll be with Jongin if you need me."

~~~~~~

Lu Han returned to the living room, where Kris still sat, flicking through the TV channels.

"What did Kyungsoo say?"

He pursed his lips. "He didn't agree with me."

Kris, hearing this, smirked. "Told you. Now stop being annoying and retarded."

Lu Han knit his eyebrows together. "I'm not being stupid."

Kris stared at him, an unamused look on his face.

"Really."

"Yes, really! Forget about all the members agreeing with me. Let's make a deal. If I can get one member to agree with me, you'll be my servant for the day."

Kris sighed, "Fine."

Lu Han smirked mischievously. He knew exactly who to ask.

~~~~~~

"Xiuminnie," Lu Han sang as he walked into Minseok's room, a smile on his face.

Minseok was sitting on his bed, reading a book. He looked up at Lu Han.

"Yes?"

"Kris is being mean," Lu Han whined as he pouted.

Minseok looked back down and nodded.

"Uh huh, what did he do?"

Lu Han's frown deepened and he narrowed his eyes. "He called me stupid and annoying."

Minseok sighed. "What did you do?"

"Nothing!"

Minseok rolled his eyes and went back to reading his book. Lu Han continued whining.

"I just said that Lay was actually a unicorn because he looked good in a horse constume. I mean. there's nothing-"

Lu Han heard a thump and looked at Minseok. He had slapped his face with the book.

Lu Han giggled, "Silly baozi. Why'd you do that?"

Minseok peeled the paperback from his forehead and stared at Lu Han.

"You're stupid."

~~~~~~

Lu Han stomped out of Minseok's room, grumbling under his breath.

"He was supposed to agree with me. It's not that difficult to do. You don't even have to believe me. Just agree."

He felt himself walk into something. He looked up. It was Sehun.

"Hi Sehun."

Sehun blinked. "Why were you talking to yourself, hyung?"

Lu Han closed his eyes, wrinkling his nose and turning his face in disgust.

"Kris called me stupid for saying that Yixing is unicorn."

"Hm."

Lu Han opened one eye, glancing at Sehun.

"What do you mean, hm?"

"Kris hyung insulted me today, too. He said I looked as ugly as a mole rat."

Lu Han smirked, facing the maknae once more. "Well, he's not entirely wrong."

Sehun blinked. "Says the one who thinks Lay is a mythical being."

Lu Han glared at the younger male.

"It's a reasonable statement!"

Sehun walked past him, dismissing his temper with a was of a hand and a mumble of, "Whatever."

"Whatever?! Oh Sehun, you come back here right now so I can kick you."

Sehun ignored him and kept walking.

"Yah! Maknae! You can't just walk away in the middle of a conversation!"

Lu Han ran after him, yelling all the time.

Suddenly, Sehun turned around and with the most oblivious face he could make, he looked back towards Lu Han. 

Leaning down to accommodate his height, he asked, eyes glittering with mischief, "Hey, hyung."

Lu Han leaned back, gulping. "Y-Yes?"

"Kris hyung insulted both of us, right? Wanna get revenge on him?"

Lu Han smiled as his anger faded into mischief. "What should we do?"

~~~~~~

"Ok. Pass me the paint."

"Sehunnie, be careful. If we get it on anything else, Tao will kill us."

"Shhhh. It's fine, hyung. I'll be careful."

"You better be."

Lu Han reached into his back pocket, searching for the tube of green paint.

"Here."

"Thanks."

Sehun carefully twisted off the cap, squeezing a decent amount of the substance onto his palm.

He walked forward, searching for Kris' bed.

In the process of fumbling around in the dark for the bed, he brushed his palm against something soft and furry.

"."

He turned around.

Sehun had smeared his hand on Kris' jacket.

"You idiot! Kris will kill us!"

"He was going to kill us anyway."

"What do we do now? We can't just leave it here."

"Relax. Just hide it in the closet."

Lu Han sighed, walking to the spacious closet Kris and Tao shared. He carefully laid the jacket down on the floor, as far away from Tao's Gucci bag collection as possible.

When he came back, Sehun was standing at the foot of Kris' bed, frozen.

"Um.... hyung? Can you hide this, too?"

Lu Han moved forward, peaking at what Sehun was staring at.

There, on the ground, lay the shards of a broken vase, splattered with an emerald green.

"What. The. ."

Sehun turned to face Lu Han, grimacing. "Oops?"

"No. Not. Oops. What are we going to do?" Lu Han hissed, glaring at Sehun.

He smiled. "Just hide it in the closet, hyung."

"Are you ing serious right now? The closet?"

"Why not?"

Lu Han sighed, rubbing his forehead. 

"We already his the jacket in there. If we get found out, I'm blaming you."

"Yeah, whatever. Oh, but hyung, what do we do about the wall?"

"What do you mean? Did you get paint on the wall as well?!"

"Um. No."

Lu Han turned around to inspect the walls around him. There didn't seem to be any paint on them. Wait.

"Is that.... a ing footprint?"

Sehun gulped, slowly backing out of the bedroom.

"How the did you even get your footprint on the wall?"

He chuckled nervously.

"I saw Tao's wushu stick on the floor, so I tried to practice the kick he showed me. I ended up stepping on the paint and kicking the wall."

"What happened to the stick?"

"... It broke."

"What?"

Lu Han spun around, frantically searching for the supposedly broken wushu stick.

It was on the floor next to the nightstand, broken into three pieces of varying sizes.

He heard Sehun rustling behind him and turned around, ready to smack him for being so stupid.

"Sehun? Where are you?"

He walked towards the door, turning the knob. It wouldn't budge.

"Are you ing kidding me?" he mumbled under his breath.

"Hunnie! Why did you lock me in here?"

Sehun's muffled voice drifted through the wooden door.

"Sorry, hyung! But there's a huge mess on the floor and on the wall. I didn't want ti clean it up, so I'll just leave it to you. Text me when you're done and I'll let you out. Oh, and I already dyed Kris hyung's hair. So don't worry about that. Bye, hyung! I'll see you later!"

Lu Han heard footsteps fading away and sighed, turning around to sink to the floor. He closed his eyes.

~~~~~~

Kris woke up the next morning like normal. He did his daily routine, walking up, changing clothes. brushing his teeth, combing his green hair, putting on lo-

"I have green hair. Green ing hair."

He leaned closer to the mirror, examining and ruffling his hair.

He removed his hand. It felt slightly sticky. He looked at it.

It was green.

The more Kris stared at his green hair and matching green hands, the angrier he became. 

Finally, he burst, stomping out of his and Tao's shared room, slamming the door on his way out, creating a green handprint on the wood.

"Exo! Out here now!"

One by one, the members of K and M shuffled out of their rooms, assembling in front of the TV.

Suho moved forward, standing next to Kris.

Baekhyun whined, rubbing his eyes, "Why did you call us out here, hyung?"

Suho yawned, mumbling an incoherent response.

Kris glared at the members, raising his hand to point at his hair. 

"Who the  did this to my hair?"

The members rolled their eyes before squinting at Kris' hair. 

"Pfffft. K-Kris. Your hair is green!" Chanyeol laughed, clapping his hands and grabbing onto Baekhyun.

"B-Baek! His hair is green!"

At this, Baekhyun exploded into laughter as well, pointing at Kris' glaring face.

"Y-You look so intimidating, Kris."

Kris' face turned red.

"Oh my god. It's a ing tomato!" Tao bellowed, collapsing into a fit of giggles.

"Ok. That's it!" Kris roared.

He stomped back into his room, slamming the door.

Suho sighed, placing his face into his hands. "Ok. Who did it?"

Lu Han and Sehun chuckled, high fiving each other. They stepped forward and smirked at the leader.

Suho sighed again, sitting down on the couch. "How long will the green dye stay in his hair?"

Lu Han broke, laughing hysterically, "It's not dye! It's hair paint!"

Sehun chuckled, shaking his head. "It'll come off when he washes his hair."

"At least I won't have to deal with his temper for long." He turned to Lu Han, who was smiling, satisfied with his prank. "Please don't do this again."

With that, all the Exo members filed back into their rooms, joking about Kris' green hair. 

Lu Han turned to Sehun, his grin growing broader, the mischievous twinkled returning to his eyes.

"Who should we prank next?"


 

ALAS! I HAVE FINISHED! :) Please subscribe, comment, and vote if you enjoyed my story! I tried my best! There will most definitely be other chapters, though I may not be able to update every week.... :) I'll see what I can do. I can definitely do more in the summer, but for now, no such luck. 

Good night, my lovelies! <3

 

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Athaeris #1
Chapter 3: Funny 💕
mariabb #2
It seems amazing. Pleaaase poost