The last chapter is here.....enjoy!

Yi Fan laid down on the black sofa right after he came in.
"Clean yourself first, big boy. I'll prepare the warm water for you. You want to eat again? Still hungry?" I asked him while walked toward his bathroom.
"No, thanks. I want to sleep." He closed his eyes.
"Not now. You have to take a bath first." I insisted.
I wanted to get a towel and place it inside the bathroom after filled the tub with warm water.
"Omma!" I shocked. I didn't realize that he leaned on the door step. "Please make some noise when you come in, Yi Fan!" I punch him arm.
Yi Fan giggled. "You'll stay, right?"
"I'll wait you outside." I stepped out from the bathroom to let him clean himself. I went to the kitchen and made him a cup of hot chocolate. I hoped it could calm himself and made him sleep well.
He came out from his room and sat down beside me in the sofa.
"Drink this! It will help you to sleep well." I offered the cup to him.
He sipped it a little bit. "You stay?" he asked the same question as before.
I touched his soft messy hair, place it in the right place, and then looked at his eyes.
"You know, I can't stay here too often. I have my own apartment; I have my work, and also my students. I don't want them to have bad impression about me." I tried to explain to him.
"You are my girlfriend, so?" He frowned a bit.
I was surprised because of his words. I am your girlfriend? Since when? I didn't remember that you asked me. I tried to control my cheeks from too much blush.
"Yi Fan, it's different. I hope you understand." I held his hands. "I'll be back tomorrow morning and prepare your breakfast before I go to school. Sleep well, dear. Please be a good boy for tonight." I reached for my bag.
He stopped me. He held my hand tight. "What do you want? What can I do to make you stay? Should I marry you now so you can move in?" He looked like a lost kid. "I need you here. Please!"
WHAT? Marry you?  Maybe those words were written well on my face now.
"Marry me, Nana." He repeated it again.
My brain still tried to understand those words. It's not about yes or no, but to make sure that I heard it well.
"Oh God…give her consciousness back, please." He rolled his eyes.
"Can you say it again?" My tongue felt numb, my eyes were ready to create a small river down my cheeks.
His hands held both of my shoulders and his eyes looked straight at me. "Im Jin Ah, will you marry me?"
I couldn't hold my feels anymore. I hugged him, placed my head in his broad chest, and drew on my favorite scent for these past months.
He hugged me warmly, my head lovingly, and whispered to my ear, "That's not an answer."
I break the hug and stared at him. "Do I really have to answer that rhetoric question?"
"You're mine." He smiled again and hugged me again. "You know me well more than I know myself. You know me even at my worst. You are the first person who saw me cried. You know my current condition, my disease, mom, and maybe Dr. Kim told you many things about me. Will you always stay?" He let out a sigh. "Sorry, I can promise you nothing. Happiness, romantic things, or whatever it is. Call me selfish, but I just want you to stay. I want to feel that there is someone who cares about me, love me without any flaw. Will you?" He expressed his feelings well.
"As long as you're here, I'm okay with everything." I said.
He kissed my forehead and then my lips. I didn't know what to do and just let my feeling took the control.
He broke the kiss. "This is your first kiss?" He asked me.
Oh God. Do you really have to ask this silly question now? In this rare and sweet moment?  I let out a deep sigh and released my hands from his waist. I stared at him.
He dragged me to his embrace again and placed his plum soft lips on mine, gave me a peck. "Sorry and thanks for take care of yourself well."

***

The sun shined brightly like yesterday. The weather was so hot at noon but cold enough at night. The summer was in its end now and just waited to struggle again with the cold autumn breeze. The leaves were red and brown now, ready to fall and fly with the wind.
It was already three months since I got married with my prince, Yi Fan. It was not a big celebration actually. Even so I was still happy. One of my dreams, to get married with Yi Fan, was fulfilled. But I still had one more dream which I want to reach soon.
I moved in to his apartment. It was strange at first for having him in the same bed as me. But I loved that strange feelings, felt the butterflies flying freely in my stomach every day and also the firework which exploding inside my tummy. It was just amazing.
This morning, I guessed he was too lazy to wake up since his strong arm was still lingering on my waist.
"Hey boy, I know that you woke up already. Open your eyes." I his puffy face.
"It's Sunday. You don't have to go to school. 10 minutes more, please?" He said without opened his eyes.
"Aren't you hungry?" I asked him.
"Will you be my breakfast? I really want to eat you now." He pecked my cheeks.
I covered my face with both of my hands. I was still shy. I bet that my face was all red now.
"I love it when you are blushing." He chuckled.
"Stop it!" I punched his arm lightly. "I am hungry, Yi Fan."
He opened his eyes wide and then broke the hug. "You ruin the romantic scene, Nana."
I smiled. The childish him, I love it. I pecked his lips before went to the bathroom.
He was back as the warm and lovely Wu Yi Fan that I knew before. He was not as cold as months ago. I thanked God for it. His condition was getting better even though he still has to consume that 'vitamins'.
I prepared him his favorite breakfast, toast with chocolate jam and a glass of milk. He sat down in front of me right after I finished preparing everything, included my heart.
After the warm and relaxing breakfast, I forced myself to start the conversation and brought up that sensitive topic.
"Yi Fan, I want a baby."
His face turned to be more serious. He stared at me. "Nana, I am not ready for this. We have talked about this before, right?"
"Why? What are you waiting for? We have been married for three months now." I raised my voice a little bit.
"We are happy enough without a baby now." He was so cold.
"But I want it, Yi Fan. I want the little us. I want our life be livelier. I want to watch you share your love with other person. Not only me." My eyes were so blurry.
"Nana, please." He bent down his head.
I wiped my tears off and went to our room. Actually I didn't want to ask anything from him, but I really wanted to have a baby as a prove of our love. A baby who would make me fells perfect as a woman.
I heard someone opened the door. Those footsteps were coming closer. Yi Fan sat down beside me and my long hair.
"I am sorry, Nana. I am so sorry."
 

***

Three weeks just passed by along with the leaves that fell from the branches, one by one, but still detached. No matter how strong they tried to hold on the twigs, the wind was always stronger to take them down.
Three weeks also passed silently at home after we talked about the baby. I didn't ask him anymore about it. I wanted to talk but I pressed my ego just for Yi Fan.
Yi Fan and I had just finished our breakfast when his phone rang. He ran to the bedroom and answered the call. Suddenly, I felt a storm inside my stomach. The food wanted to come out from there. I ran to the bathroom and tried to let anything inside went out, but it was hard. Is this? Now? I was so eager to tell Yi Fan about my prediction.
I stepped out from the bathroom with a wide smile on my face. But when I saw his face, I forgot everything inside my mind. He looked panic.
"Yi Fan, talk to me. What happen?" I cupped his face with both of my hands.
"Mom." He couldn't keep his eyes focused on what he saw. "Hospital. Now."

***

The autumn had come and the temperature was much colder than usual. The time passed slowly along with the pain which was felt clearly by me, very slowly, and deep. Each millimeter of the scar was created perfectly in my heart.
After the death of his mom, Yi Fan was so quite. He was back to the cold him. It was not surprising if he came home late in unconscious condition because of alcohol. He didn't want to come to the hospital and talk to Dr. Kim. He refused it. I really didn't know how to face him anymore.
And about my previous prediction, yes, I was pregnant. I was so happy of course, but I felt like it came in the wrong time. I didn't tell him yet about this creature inside me. I worried about his reaction in his current condition.
It was about midnight when he came home. He placed his bag in the sofa and laid down there. I took a deep breath before forced myself to approach him.
." I sat down beside him. "Yi Fan, I am pregnant
He changed his position and faced me. "What? Pregnant?"
I nodded.
"We talked about this before right?" He looked so confused.
I bend down my head, afraid to look into his eyes. "It's here, Yi Fan, inside me. It was impossible to blame the baby just because you don't want to have it. I will protect it."
"How can you protect it? YOU HAVE A CRAZY HUSBAND HERE, NANA! How can you do it?" He raised his voice. Angry, disappointed, confused, afraid, were all on his face.
I couldn't bring myself to watch him. "Yi Fan, please, let me try. We'll be fine. You, the baby, and me. We'll be fine."
"I can't be a good father, Nana. You know it well. My own family was a complete mess. I never know how to take care of my own family. They never did it to me. How can I protect the baby? How can I give it my love, my time, my care? I can't even do it to my own self." He looked so lost. He grabbed his car key, and left.
I sobbed. There were so many things came to my mind. If I have to choose, of course I couldn't do it. These two were so important to me, to my life. But with Yi Fan's condition, I couldn't place him in a hard position.
It's been hours since he left. The wind outside was going crazier tried to erased each pain and sorrow that the night brought before. The tears wouldn't stop. I cried in silence, let say that I didn't even felt the tears. I felt so numb. I couldn't sleep at all. Stayed all night in my dim bedroom, I felt completely cold and alone.
I heard the front door was being opened. The footsteps were the following things that were caught by my ears. Yi Fan walked closer to me. He was so messy. His hand moved slowly and stopped in my head. He it softly. I saw a glint in the tip of his eyes. And seconds after, the tears was flowing from those deep eyes.
"I am sorry. I am so sorry, Nana." He sobbed.
I felt like my tears were still flowing. I went mute. I couldn't say or even think a word. There was only one thing that was able to be felt by me, pain. I was in so much pain.
He kissed my forehead, then moved the small bump in my tummy, and finished it with a very careful and soft kiss in my lips. With that, he left. And never came back.
I guess the cold autumn came early, brought its coldness to my life.

END

Finally....the last chapter is up.Thanks for the subscribers, votes, and comments, you are the reason for me to write the story till the end.

Enjoy my other stories and wait for the next....Thanks #bow #wink