1

'My sister is going to kill me', Jonghyun decided, was kind of Krystal's slogan or something.

 

Jonghyun had not met Krystal's older sister, but whoever she was, she must have been someone fearsome enough for Krystal to always mutter the statement. 'My sister is going to kill me' was spoken when Krystal failed to get her driving license in California, when Jonghyun accidentally splashed orange Fanta onto Krystal's shirt, and now, when she finally decided to share her downtown apartment with Jonghyun.

 

2

Jonghyun moved into Krystal's apartment only on the 37^th day after knowing her in their new college inauguration day.

 

3

The whole ordeal happened due to a ridiculous situation, really. It involved a night of a study group, a dire need of midnight snack, instant popcorn and a microwave, Jinri who complained too much about her long-distance relationship (Jinri insisted that she was not supposed to be included in the chain of events), Krystal's lack of experience in heating popcorn, and an explosion that burned half of Jonghyun's studio.

 

This and that (mostly being that (1) the college dorms had all been occupied, (2) while Jonghyun had made himself plenty of new friends in this foreign country, the first two weeks in college apparently had not given him that much trust, (3) Jinri lived with her overprotective parents, religious grandmother and a somewhat-male-hater dog, (4) Jonghyun had passed the limit of his students loan already (and that he and Krystal still had to pay for the repair of Jonghyun's apartment –or what remained from it), and (5) Krystal was kind of responsible for Jonghun's rendered-inhabitable flat) brought Jonghyun to Krystal's two-rooms studio –and seemingly for quite some time.

 

Well, he could, actually, live in the bathroom of his own flat (which was safe from the explosion), but even Krystal was not that cruel.

 

4

And while Krystal did not say it to Jonghyun, there were benefits of inviting a friend to share the flat. Her apartment had been rather spacious, but located quite a distance from the campus. She did not normally share well (even back in Korea, Krystal did not have a tendency to be communalistic –this was one of the main reasons why she was so similar to her sister), but her apartment had been pretty costly. Even  before Jonghyun's incident occurred, Krystal did plan to search for an apartment mate. Besides, when the night fell, her area was not rumored to be the safest. Krystal vowed to move out once her current term expired in a year.

 

All in all, Jonghyun's presence as an apartment-mate, though far from being her ideal, brought benefit to her as well.

 

5

Krystal did not really see Jonghyun as a boy, well not literally. The muscles and his feature had been anything but feminine, but even when she first met him in the college housewarming event, she had a hunch that she would not regard him any less masculine than Heechul –Jessica's best (fe)male friend. She did not know why, it was just a feeling.

 

"You're not afraid?" he asked for the umpteenth time after she proposed for him to move in with her. "I'm still a guy."

 

"You don't consider me as girl anyway, do you?"

 

"Of course I see you as a girl. But if the question is whether or not I have the intention to you –" (Krystal glared at him, and Jonghyun quickly tried to rephrase his statement) "– I don't. At the moment. But I'm still a guy. And when hormone is mixed with booze, I could, I mean, who knows?"

 

"I'm not a anyway, Jonghyun." (Jonghyun hid his surprise rather well –Krystal always had an aura of a girl who would kick the guy who initiate before marriage) "If it happens, it happens. Though I think for the best interests of us both, we'd rather not do it, and I don't have any intention to do it with you anyway."

 

"...Okay," Jonghyun replied unsurely –not really knowing the best reaction to give.

 

"If we just happened to do it," Krystal added. "Just promise me you won't tell my sister."

 

Jonghyun chuckled at Krystal's reference to her sister again, deliberated and told her, "Well, if you feel I'm starting to lose it and you don't want it to happen, just kick me really hard on the shin." He paused to point at the spot on his leg.  "I had an injury here. If I get kicked here, it would be so painful to me to the point you won't need a pepper spray to immobilize me."

 

Krystal raised an eyebrow in a way that made Jonghyun slightly regretted sharing his very own Achilles' heels (shin).

 

6

"I'm pretty chill, you know," Jonghyun told her. "This is still your home. I'm just your guest. Don't for a second think of catering to my wish."

 

Krystal stared at Jonghyun for a good three seconds before she shook her head with a mild chuckle. "I'm an expert in making and claiming my own zone, Jonghyun. No worries about that."

 

7

But despite Krystal's ability to uphold her own comfort to the highest extent, the terms and conditions Krystal gave Jonghyun to co-habit were simple –if not, very generous.

 

Jonghyun could not enter Krystal's bedroom. They were to remain as apartment mates and were not to meddle with each other's personal life. Each party must be responsible for their own foods and clean the shared bathroom and toilet after use. He had to give the exclusive right of the TV to Krystal on Tuesday and Wednesday night for her to watch the Dog's Whisperer show, but aside from those days, the TV was all for him to use. He was not allowed to bring his friends or girlfriends to the apartment without her prior consent. Lastly, Jessica could never know any of these.

 

The only thing that bugged Jonghyun was Krystal's request to throw away his six-years-old converse sneakers.

 

"Why?" he wailed with a face of a five-year-old kid who was grounded when there was summer festival around.

 

Krystal crossed her arms in front of her chest. "They stink."

 

"I can wash them!" Jonghyun insisted.

 

"You washed them last week and they still stink!" Krystal screeched as she ran out of patience, grabbed a plastic bag, covered her nose with one hand and used a tongs to pick the sneakers, put them in the plastic bag, throw it to the trash plastic outside her door, and stand in front of the door –preventing Jonghyun to rescue his sneakers.

 

8

Jonghyun loved his converse shoes so much (the first thing he bought in junior high school with his own money) that he sneaked his sneakers back into the household in the middle of the night that day. To compromise with Krystal's policy, he bagged the sneakers into a plastic bag and hid them at the bottom of his own backpack.

 

9

For some reason, the fact that Krystal had a male apartment-mate reached Sooyoung's ears. Now, Sooyoung was Jessica's childhood friend who also took her studies abroad. Being three years older than Krystal was and taking a different major, Krystal only got the chance to meet Sooyoung in the library (Krystal did not play around, you see).

 

"Did you tell my sister?" Krystal asked with horrified eyes.

 

Sooyoung was playing with the pencil on the crook between her lips and her nose –steadying it. Upon Krystal's question, the tall, skinny girl grabbed the pencil away and said, "Now that I think of it, I should have, shouldn't I?"

 

"Unnie!"

 

"Jessica is far from being conservative anyway, Krystal. She'd understand," Sooyoung pointed out. Her gazed wandered for a while before she came up with an additional remark. "Though your male roommate might need to prepare a fake passport. Who knows, with that powerful boyfriend of hers, your sister might be able to deregister your roommate from his Korean nationality."

 

Krystal was not too worried about Jonghyun at the moment. With a sigh, she told Sooyoung, "I don't want my sister to be disappointed in me." Sooyoung gave the younger girl a stare that did not mean anything, but somehow prompted Krystal to elaborate. "She's always telling people that I'm her pride and all she knows is that I'm the good, straight-As student." Krystal nearly blurted to Sooyoung that even Jessica still did not know Krystal had given her first time to an unmemorable classmate during in her 11^th grade. But as much as she trusted Sooyoung, Krystal took precaution well.

 

Sooyoung was about to say something, but then her pupils dilated at the sight of something behind Krystal's back. Hastily, as if a debt-collector was coming, Sooyoung pushed all her books and stationeries into her big tote bag, and bid her farewell.

 

"My devil-incarnated tutor is looking for me. I got to go before he realizes my presence. Bye!" Sooyoung muttered in a hurry before she dashed away.

 

Krystal only chuckled when the so-called devil incarnation (Krystal did recognize the messy-haired guy as Cho Kyuhyun –the genius student who was rumored to have even finished his master degree before he was twenty) managed to block Sooyoung's way somehow. Sooyoung had no choice to be dragged out of the library by him –a dramatic wail echoed in the library and froze half of the library occupants until the library door's swung close again.

 

10

"So, how is it going with Jonghyun?" Jinri asked Krystal one day during their class when the former was certain the professor paid more attention to his power point presentation than his students.

 

Krystal still paid attention to what the professor said, but after Jinri stepped on Krystal's shoes (and consequently, Krystal glared at her –but Jinri was used to it), Krystal finally grumbled as low as she could, "He's fine. Aside from his past case with his sneakers, he's quite clean for a boy," Krystal paused to highlight a part on her text book. "And he treated me dim sum every Friday night."

 

Jinri stared at her friend with a dead-pan expression. "You've got to be kidding me. You've been living under the same roof with one healthy boy for two weeks and that's all you've got to comment?"

 

Krystal questioned Jinri back with an obvious 'Yeah?' and Jinri exhaled a deep sigh and ranted on how Krystal had wasted an opportunity and reminded her that they were not in South Korea where these kind of 'affairs' would be highly condemned. Krystal shut Jinri up by stating that she was actually studying abroad to...well, study.

 

"And he never starts or indicates anything more?" Jinri asked again after twenty five minutes and the professor still had an attitude that he'd rather be anywhere else but the classroom.

 

Krystal chuckled without interest. "What, you're expecting him to come out of the shower half and we'd each other on my new kitchen's aisle?"

 

Jinri's eyes lit up. "Yeah. Jonghyun does have tight after all. Don't tell me you've never noticed that?"

 

11

Krystal never did –notice Jonghyun's previously, that was. But that evening, after Jonghyun came out from the shower to the living room (fully clothed), she did steal a glance to Jonghyun's jeans-clad .

 

Krystal concluded that Jinri could be very rightfully observant sometimes.

 

12

Now that midterm was nearing, Krystal spent most of her times in the library (Jonghyun was not that noisy back home, but library still got a much more complete book collection). Meeting Sooyoung (who used library as one of her hiding space from her tutor) got to be a routine.

 

"I don't understand how you can stand it," Sooyoung commented when she lost her concentration to study only eight minutes after she opened her book.

 

"What?" Krystal asked –eyes still on her book.

 

"Kyu-stard spent at least three hours everyday in my house to tutor me, and I really can't stand him. How can you actually spend at least half of your day with Jonghyun and going just fine? I mean, he's not your boyfriend or your brother."

 

Krystal finally closed her book (unlike Sooyoung, Krystal had actually read her text books for the last two hours) and stretched her sore limbs. "I was a bit worried at first, but I guess because Jonghyun and I are the same. We just understand our boundaries well."

 

"Boundaries?"

 

"When I said we are merely housemates, we really are. We're not family, we're not a couple. Jonghyun never intrudes with my personal life, and I never intrude with his."

 

Sooyoung pondered. "Isn't that kind of impossible? You live together, you are bound to intrude with each other's life. Don't tell me nothing has changed. Kyu-stard changes my entire life and routine to the point I think I have a new father."

 

Chuckling at Sooyoung's sentiment to her tutor, Krystal elaborated more, "I am a pretty simple person, and Jonghyun is as well. So far, we have similar habits and both of us use the apartment only as a place to sleep, take shower, and occasionally, eat. None of us has the intention to actually set things outside that boundary."

 

"How...cold."

 

Krystal shrugged. "It's fitting. And besides, what do you expect, Unnie?" she asked, and wondered why must it that Sooyoung and Jinri believed there had to be something more between her and Jonghyun.

 

"You two look like a nearly-divorced couple still living under the same roof due to financial reason."

 

Krystal blinked at the analogy, and while she thought Sooyoung's analogy was rather out of the blue, it was not entirely too farfetched.

 

13

"It's rare to see you return after me," Jonghyun from the couch when Krystal closed the door to the apartment. "But it's nice seeing you having some fun, Krys."

 

Krystal dropped her bag to the couch, grabbed her toner and cotton pads, and joined him in watching a detective series Jonghyun had always loved to watch. "Midterm is coming soon, I just got back from the library."

 

"Midterm is coming?" Jonghyun inquired.

 

"It's next week, isn't it?"

 

"Oh," Jonghyun calmed down. "Still a week away."

 

Krystal eyed him. "Only a week away."

 

"Plenty of time," Jonghyun decided as he leaned back to the cushion and continued watching the show.

 

14

Krystal swore that during the months Jonghyun and her lived together, she had never seen Jonghyun study. Ever. She had never seen him in the library either, and she was certain Jonghyun slept 80% of the time he had in class.

 

So it came rather as a baffle for her when she learned that Jonghyun scored higher than Krystal in most of the classes that they took together.

 

"Did you cheat?" she accused the boy –who was practicing his guitar in the apartment that night.

 

"What? No!" Jonghyun defended himself. Noting Krystal's glare, Jonghyun only grinned, "I might not look like it, but I'm quite smart, you know? I actually got a scholarship for my tuition here."

 

Krystal gave him a I-don't-believe-you look, while Jonghyun returned her glare with two v-shaped fingers at her.

 

15

"Everything's fine there?" Jessica asked through Skype.

 

Perhaps it was the fact that Jessica was only a figure reflected on the computer screen, or Krystal's rather foul mood lately, or the fact that she was still feeling guilty for hiding the Jonghyun matter from her sister, but regardless of the reason, Krystal couldn't say all things that she wanted to say to Jessica. Usually it was not like that.

 

So Jessica updated her instead on the lives she had as a last-year student in the college in Korea. She told Krystal about the new store that was opening in Seoul, about Nana's new obsession with a guy from the music major, and about their parents ("I think they're really going to have a divorce, Krissy."). None of these news surprised Krystal necessarily, but the last one kind of did.

 

"And I think I'm going to marry Tyler after I graduate."

 

Krystal froze.

 

Krystal knew that her sister had been going on a steady relationship with Tyler Kwon for two years, and that Tyler was Jessica's type all along. It was not that Krystal disliked Tyler (he was fine –could be scary with his power sometimes, but most of the times, that was a prejudicial thought), but it was just that Krystal loved her sister very much. Jessica was practically the only family member that she considered a real family, and to know that her most favorite person in the world would be leaving her soon...

 

Jessica broke the silence by talking about Nana's rare seriousness in chasing boys, and Krystal forgot whether or not she had congratulated her sister.

 

16

Jinri thought that Krystal had enough time studying, and besides, midterms just passed. So that night, Jinri dragged Krystal out of her apartment to a party that her other friend held. Krystal insisted to stay in her apartment, but Jinri reminded her that even after a few months, Krystal only made friends with her, Jonghyun, Sooyoung. Krystal said that she was fine with it, but Jinri –already half drunk– could be more persistent than a salesman.

 

"Even your sister would want you to have fun while you're here!" Jinri shouted at Krystal when the latter still chose to wait in the car instead of coming into the house where the party was held.

 

The reference to her sister made something in Krystal's heart flinched. She agreed to gulp two shots of gin offered in the doorway. It was mixed with too much tonic, but Krystal was never a heavy drinker.

 

The party was filled mostly with the first-year college students, but Krystal sighed in relief when she saw Sooyoung. Her relief was short-lived when Sooyoung was already wasted even when it was only 9 PM. The tall girl was crying and Kyu-stard (Krystal was on Sooyoung's side) picked the obviously drunk girl and carried her on his back out of the party.

 

The thing was, Jinri could be an of a friend sometimes. The baby-face looking girl was already off to nowhere and Krystal was left alone in the house of a girl she did not even know. She wanted to leave, but she was concerned about Jinri. 

 

"Krystal?!" a familiar voice exclaimed beside her. "Roomie! It's good to see you here!"

 

She turned to see a flustered-face Jonghyun just right at the moment when he was explaining (or declaring in his intoxicated state to the entire room) that Krystal was his roommate. So long that Jessica did not know, Krystal was fine with the whole world knowing that she lived together with Jonghyun, so she let him do it.

 

Jonghyun linked his arm around Krystal's neck and toured her around the house introducing her as his roommate to everyone they met. The way Jonghyun did it felt more like a father who introduced his son to his colleagues, and during the tour, Krystal drank at least four more shots of something which names she did not and would not know. Krystal did not know whether she was already drunk or not, but there were three things that she remembered from that night: that her feet were sore (Jonghyun toured and introduced her at least twice to each and every people in the house), that she was laughing more than she had ever been in her own life, and that at one point of time, her stomach felt funny.

 

The part where she puked into Jonghyun's shirt was not originally recorded in her memory that night.

 

17

"You take her back home safely," Jinri mandated shortly and released her liability when she passed the restroom to see Jonghyun washing his shirt with one hand and holding Krystal's hair on the other while Krystal continued to empty the content of her stomach into the toilet.

 

18

Krystal was supposed to be light-weighted, but Jonghyun still ran out of breath when he carried her back to the apartment (Krystal's flat was on the second floor, and there was no elevator). He exhaled a loud sigh when he dropped Krystal to her bed –he himself nearly had no energy left to stand up.

 

Not that he could stand up anyway, because Krystal's arms suddenly came from behind him and dragged him back to the bed.

 

"Krystal!" he shouted (washing his shirt and helping Krystal clean herself up earlier had made him much more sober). "Don't –" He stopped and tensed when Krystal's hand firmly grabbed his .

 

With half-lidded, sleepy eyes and idiotic grin, she pushed him to the bed –hands still on his .

 

"Nice ," she mumbled dreamily as she kissed Jonghyun's neck. "Nice indeed."

 

19

The scream in the next morning was rather mandatory. Jonghyun snapped his eyes open and the next thing he knew was that there was a strong kick on his back and he rolled down the bed until he fell to the floor.

 

"What the , Jonghyun?!"

 

Feeling that justice was questioned, Jonghyun rose from the floor and defended himself instantly, "You were the one who attacked me!"

 

"I wouldn't have!" Krystal insisted. While she did mention once that having with Jonghyun would be fine if the situation called for it, Krystal did not appreciate without her full consent. But Jonghyun genuinely looked as if he was the one being mistreated, so Krystal forced herself to calm down and she looked down to her clothes –messy and ruined, but still fully clothed.

 

Taking the opportunity in which Krystal was examining herself, Jonghyun told her the parts that were not present in Krystal's memory: how she puked on him, how he carried her all the way there, how she attacked him and basically laid her saliva all over his torso.

 

"But we didn't do it," Jonghyun clarified.

 

Krystal glared at him. "Liar."

 

"I swear," he sincerely said. "I refrained myself a lot. I kept reminding myself that you stank of vomit and that was kind of a turn-off on its own."

 

20

Krystal still kicked Jonghyun's one last time before she pushed him out of her room.

 

21

When everything had calmed down in Krystal's mind, Krystal murmured the quickest and the softest apology Jonghyun ever heard in his life. But it seemed that while Krystal was too proud to properly apologize, she was still being rather apologetic, because she took him out to a sushi restaurant that night.

 

"There's just been...several surprises in my life lately," she told Jonghyun as the latter grabbed the eighth fatty tuna sashimi from the moving table (Krystal eyed Jonghyun without interest as she made a mental note not to treat Jonghyun food anytime in the near future). "I didn't do well on my exams. My parents are going to divorce. And my sister will get married."

 

"You're exaggerating. You did really well on your exams –"

 

"I'm not hearing this from you," Krystal interrupted.

 

Jonghyun sighed at her competitiveness and continued, "You told me that you have been expecting your parents' divorce ever since you were in Jr. High."

 

"Well... true, but –"

 

"And you love your sister so much that you want her to be happy."

 

Krystal sighed and placed her chopsticks down –having only eaten one roll. "Who else am I going to have if it's not my sister?"

 

"Your sister won't leave you."

 

"That's bull," Krystal claimed. "It will be different. She's practically the only family I have, and now she's going to have her very own family. She'll be busy accompanying her husband then taking care of her child then –"

 

"Grow up, Krystal."

 

Krystal immediately turned her attention to Jonghyun –who looked as if he cared more on hunting the wakame more than the conversation. But despite his lack of eye contact, Jonghyun's words were anything but unfocused.

 

"Of course everything will be different. You are not a child forever," Jonghyun stated. "Your sister is having her own life, so be it. You should have your own life as well, and it's about time you let go of your sister-complex persona."

 

She gritted her teeth. "I'm having my own life. But a family is still –"

 

"You're living 90% of your time here in the library or studying. I'm not saying you shouldn't study, but I've always felt that you're studying just because you're not prepared for the whole new life overseas outside your comfort zone. You use studying as a method to escape. You're still young. There's so much in life than what you're doing right now. You're –" Jonghyun paused when he did not hear any response from Krystal. He turned his face to his side just in time to catch Krystal exiting the door.

 

Exhaling a sigh, Jonghyun reflected on his words for a while, before he spoke an afterthought.

 

"Whatever happens to treating me sushi?"

 

22

Krystal slept at Jinri's place that night –perfect timing because Jinri's parents were having a vacation to Europe. As they took the blanket over their bodies, Krystal told her the same thing she told Jonghyun earlier (except the test result, because now that she thought about it, she did kind of exaggerate). Jinri had never been good in giving advice, but at this rate, any words that were not as truthful as Jonghyun's words would do.

 

Jinri did say things Krystal wanted to hear: that everything was going to be alright, that her parents would still love her even when they were divorced, that Jessica would never forget Krystal and besides, there was still a chance the engagement would be called off –Tyler did call an engagement off with his ex several years ago after all.

 

Krystal smiled and extended her hand to touch Jinri's shoulders. "Thanks, Jin –" she paused when she realized that Jinri had fallen asleep.

 

23

Krystal returned back to her flat early at 9 in the morning. Jonghyun was in the living room and he immediately rose from the cushion and asked her. 

 

"Where have you been?"

 

Krystal was not in the mood for this, so she only replied curtly, "Jinri's."

 

Jonghyun exhaled a sigh. "You should have called. I thought you went back home, but then you didn't. You turned off your cell phone, and I couldn't contact Jinri either and –"

 

Krystal was not a morning person, so she retorted back, "And since when are you my mother?"

 

Jonghyun was taken aback and he hesitated for awhile. But then Krystal said nothing and just opened the refrigerator and something about her lack of care ticked something in Jonghyun's sense.

 

"I was really worried, Krystal."

 

Krystal closed her refrigerator door harder than she intended to. With a bottle of milk in her hand, she turned to look at Jonghyun. The fact that Jonghyun was still wearing his yesterday's clothes and the visible bags under his eyes indicated that he probably had not had the best sleep of his life. A part of her felt guilty, but Krystal had always put down her pride before anything.

 

"I am a grown-up, Jonghyun. By the way, you were the one who told me to grow up, remember?"

 

Jonghyun scratched his dark-haired head and for a moment reminded herself that Krystal was always good in turning words against him. "I know. But you're still a girl. And this is a foreign country. Growing up has nothing to do with this. You're my friend and I do care about you. I worried –"

 

"Stop it."

 

"Stop what?"

 

Krystal placed the milk on the table and crossed her arms before her chest. "I thought we had an agreement."

 

Jonghyun frowned. "What agreement?"

 

"Not to meddle with each other's personal life," she reminded him. "You broke the main rule."

 

Jonghyun looked as if he was at loss of words for a second. With a sigh that clearly indicated he was trying to keep himself patient, he then said softly, "Fine, I'm sorry that I broke the rule as your housemate. But housemate or not, you're still my friend. I might be wrong this time, but next time, please, at least let me know where you are when you're not coming home."

 

Krystal did not want to prolong the conversation. "Fine," she interrupted Jonghyun when he was talking about the crime rates around the area. She walked pass him not saying a word and entered her room, slamming the door close behind her.

 

24

Jonghyun slipped an apologetic note pass the bottom gap of Krystal's bedroom door. He would have opted to a more direct way of communication, but Krystal had yelled at him from the other side of the door that 'she did not want to hear his voice for some time'.

 

Now, while Jonghyun still thought he was not at fault for the whole situation, after nearly four hours of locking herself in her bedroom, he did feel sorry that Krystal have to have a more limited space and not actually be in comfort in her own apartment. He knocked her bedroom door softly and only muttered, "I'm going out."

 

Krystal did not answer. Jonghyun sighed, walked out and closed the door of Krystal's apartment behind him.

 

25

Once Krystal walked out of her bedroom after the five-hour nap, Jonghyun was nowhere in sight. She did read his note (scribbled with only one word: Sorry') and noticed that the room he had been using was cleaned and that his backpack was no longer there. He left his toothbrush in the bathroom, but that was the only thing that he left behind.

 

Still thinking that there was supposed to be a better way of a farewell rather than an apologetic note passed through the door, Krystal grabbed her cell phone, having the intention to call Jinri. But then she remembered Jinri was having a short weekend getaway with her families to Maine and Krystal threw her phone to the couch slightly harder than she intended.

 

Perhaps it was the guilt, or prejudice, or suggestive thought, but Krystal thought her living room was rather quiet. She later thought it was stupid that her living room felt vacant, because even when Jonghyun had been living in her flat for the past three months, he had not supposed to be a detrimental addition –what with him rarely being in the flat.

 

But it did still feel quiet, so Krystal turned her TV on.

 

Something still did not feel right, but she ignored it and only slowly ate Jonghyun's leftover apple pies in the fridge, certain that he wouldn't mind her breaking the 'rule', because after all, he had left for good.

 

26

It kind of baffled, angered, frightened, and surprised Krystal when only 16 hours later she learned from the laundry owner a block away from her flat that Jonghyun got hit by a motorcycle and was now hospitalized.

 

She saved the anger she originally had to the laundry owner for not telling her any sooner, to the hospital staffs for not looking hard enough for her, to Jonghyun for being so clumsy and stupid and thoughtless, and mostly to herself, and focused all her attention to just rush all the way to the hospital and barge into Jonghyun's room.

 

Jonghyun was just assisted by a nurse to stand up and his eyes kind of lit up when they saw Krystal, but the excitement dimmed immediately when he noticed how angry, no, how fuming mad, she was.

 

"What the did you get yourself into?!" Krystal shouted and the nurse reprimanded her for yelling in the hospital. Krystal took a deep calming sigh (she was usually rational and collected; she did not know why lately she wasn't) and apologized to the nurse. Jonghyun cast a grateful smile to the nurse as well and told her that he would appreciate it if he could just sit on the hospital bed for ten more minutes. The nurse agreed and left him.

 

"What the , Jonghyun?" The cursing still remained, even with a much hushed volume.

 

Jonghyun nudged his chin to his own bandaged casted arm. Krystal glared at him, and after he realized that Krystal was after a more detailed explanation, he heavily informed her, "Well, I was just doing a midnight laundry as usual, then I got out, and there was this motorcycle rushing pass me. But the motorcycle rider was responsible enough. He brought me here to the hospital and –"

 

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Krystal interrupted, voice rather begging.

 

"I left my cell phone in your flat."

 

While Krystal should have checked that first, that did not diminish the anger from his not-so-informative information. "That's not a reason not to tell me."

 

Jonghyun stuttered, "W-well, I kinda forgot your number. I always speed-dialed yours, so –."

 

"You could have tried harder, Jonghyun."

 

With a sigh and a silent acknowledgement, he finally murmured, "You were mad at me."

 

"That's not a reason why I wouldn't have been worried and helped you, had I known this sooner! And you ing left without telling me! I know I have not been the best housemate and I have been rather crazy the past few days, but you should have not left the house and –"

 

"But I was just doing the laundry?"

 

Krystal stared at him for a few seconds, enough for Jonghyun to repeat his statement in a much firmer tone, "I was just doing the laundry. Well, I did have an intention not to spend the night in your apartment because you were still mad at me, but –"

 

"But your bedroom was clean..."

 

"I always cleaned my bedroom."

 

"Your backpack was missing."

 

"I haven't had the chance to wash my laundry for the entire week, so I carried all my clothes in my backpack."

 

Krystal opened again, but decided to close it before she could say anything more embarrassing. At the end of the day, she looked at Jonghyun with a frown on her face and a question slipping out of her lips, "So...you're still my housemate?"

 

"...well, unless you officially kicked me out?" Jonghyun inquired back. "But I would ask your permission to stay for a couple more days, at least until my arm –"

 

"Stay," Krystal interrupted. She stared at the injury Jonghyun had in his arm –minor, but Krystal still felt a pang of guilt because probably none of these would have happened if it had not been for her and unreasonable hysteria.  It killed her pride to say her next line, but she still said it. "I'm sorry for my behavior. I exaggerate and I am crazy. But just...stay, Jonghyun."

 

Jonghyun blinked, and then grinned the second after.

 

At that point, and at that point only, Krystal felt that hey, it was not so bad to kill her pride sometimes.

 

27

Krystal had actually made plans with Jinri to go to a road trip to Iowa for the Thanksgiving holiday, but she decided to spend her days in her flat with Jonghyun for the next three days or so. Jinri had expressed her disappointment, but the sentiment was short lived once Jinri heard of Jonghyun's accident and that Krystal couldn't possibly leave him alone when he was all injured and that.

 

"Be sure to grab more than his this time and tell me –" Krystal ended the call before Jinri could finish her statements, and then she returned back to the kitchen to boil some ramyun for Jonghyun.

 

On the first day, Jonghyun had been reluctant (and even extremely horrified when Krystal insisted she could help him take bath), but on the second and the third day, he had relaxed to the point that Jonghyun was actually starting to act up like a big baby.

 

"If I find out you're only faking your injuries, you're a dead meat," Krystal warned as she sat next to Jonghyun on the couch and helped him change his bandages (Jonghyun managed to convince Krystal that he could take shower alone, but in consequence, his bandages were drenched most of the times and Krystal had to change it more often than required).

 

Jonghyun only laughed uncomfortably at the comment (his injury was real, but he did admit it was nice having Krystal really catering him for the past four days –after all, not everyday he could see Krystal Jung obediently ran from her room to the nearest 7/11 to buy some Pocari Sweats when he only commented nonchalantly how thirsty he was). "You're the sweetest darling I have ever known, Krys, I swear."

 

The comment was spoken in an idle manner –Jonghyun's style – and was not supposed to mean anything because this was Jonghyun (and Jonghyun said 'I-love-you' to a female Burger King's janitor when the girl found his missing headphones), but Krystal's fingers halted for a moment when he said the words.

 

28

"Have you ever really liked someone impossible?"

 

Krystal nearly choked on her chai latte when Sooyoung posed the question. Realizing that the question was not about her and Jonghyun (and Krystal vigorously erased the image of Jonghyun, because even he was not supposed to be in the picture and context. Ever), Krystal cleared and tried to ask for a clarification, "What?"

 

"Liking someone impossible," Sooyoung repeated, twirling her pencil between her fingers. "Like me now," she added, paused for a moment, before she continued, "I think I like Kyutard."

 

The thing with Sooyoung was that she resembled Jonghyun in expressing her degree of feeling. Sooyoung and Jonghyun both could say they loved someone with the same tone they had when they said they loved the additional cheese on their pepperoni pizzas, and Krystal had a fear of relating. Not knowing how to respond to Sooyoung, Krystal just gave a rather weak comment. "Because Kyutard is cute?" she asked, because even Krystal thought Kyuhyun was cute.

 

"Gah, no, Kyutard is anything but cute," Sooyoung clarified with a shudder. "Sadistic, evil and manipulative, definitely. But not cute, definitely not cute."

 

"...But you like him?"

 

"He's..." Sooyoung shrugged and challenged herself for the better terms. She failed, and only settled with a simple description. "...just something."

 

Krystal valued herself to be the observant kind of girl and one who didn't easily fall for the idea of romance that easily. She told Sooyoung of the concept of liking the idea of liking someone because of the amount of time spent together and how it was not necessarily a permanent feeling. Sooyoung cut her there.

 

"It is natural for feelings to be affected by the situations," the older girl remarked.

 

"Precisely," Krystal pointed out. "I think it's because you spend a lot of times with him, you are growing fond of him. Feeling fluctuates. Easily. Once you give your times off this person and you still long for him, not by virtue of the situation, and that's where, I think, you really like this person."

 

"But I don't want Kyutard to be away from me," Sooyoung replied, and frowned to herself in a way that made Krystal felt slightly guilty. Once, she had thought that Sooyoung's  rather idiotic's gestures were fabricated, but the longer Krystal knew her, the firmer she believed that Sooyoung was indeed an idiot, but at least an idiot with a good heart.

 

But Sooyoung gathered her spirit back and said, "Which is weird, because I'd do anything to escape his tutoring session, but at the same time, I also look up for those sessions."

 

Krystal said nothing and Sooyoung added a thought to herself.

 

"Maybe you're right. I just am used with Kyutard's presence and the whole situation just makes me have a temporal feeling for him. Maybe I don't really like him."

 

Sooyoung had been one of the most simple-minded persons Krystal ever met in her life, but at that point, Krystal felt like she had made the most hypocrite comment and that she felt rather apologetic once she realized that Sooyoung thought about the issue deeper than she made herself appear to.

 

29

Jonghyun officially took off his bandages a few days after and he exclaimed a 'Yay!' and swung his arms to test its flexibility. He ended up knocking his newly-healed arm to the hanged bookshelf Krystal had in her living room. Krystal shrieked louder than Jonghyun and she made a haste leap to approach him and checked on his arm.

 

Jonghyun only laughed and patted Krystal's hand on his forearm with his uninjured arm. He gave her a wholehearted beam and Krystal instinctively looked away.

 

He grinned and declared that this event needed a celebration on its own and he knelt down to open the package sent from Korea: a dozen of soju that were not produced in the States. He grabbed a bottle opener, opened one and offered one to Krystal.

 

"No, I think I won't drink in your vicinity again."

 

Jonghyun laughed again and reminded her that soju practically would only make her stomach felt gassy instead of drunk, and Krystal pointed out that even that was not an option she would like to have near Jonghyun. Jonghyun smiled, and somehow Krystal accepted the bottle as they both went back to the couch to watch her obligatory dog-training tv show.

 

"Can I make a confession?" Jonghyun asked in the middle of watching and Krystal felt a tingle in her stomach that had nothing to do with the soju.

 

"What?"

 

"We actually did kiss that night," he told her. "That's when I realize that I can't have with you at that time because you really did stink of vomit."

 

Krystal glared at Jonghyun and reminded him again, "That's not really the nicest thing to say to a girl, you know."

 

"I know," Jonghyun said with a grin. "But I think we're always comfortable enough around each other to say this kind of things."

 

Krystal did not give any response to that, but felt a bit sour somewhere within her. Jonghyun was her good friend, and was even supposed to be something even less than that –a housemate would do. The fact that he was comfortable around her should have been a good fact to establish, although Krystal couldn't quite convince herself so. A part of her was more convinced that Jonghyun did not see her as a girl –and again, while this was supposed to be a good stance, Krystal just couldn't help but to feel slightly disheartened due to the thought.

 

She lost track of the TV show and only realized so when Jonghyun was clapping loudly at a rather heroic act a pitbull did.

 

She excused herself saying that the soju was making her sleepy somehow and she wanted to sleep. Jonghyun immediately averted his attention from the TV and demanded, "So soon? It's not even 9 pm."

 

"Yeah, I'm..." she sighed, but stood up still. "Tired. Just that."

 

The noise from the TV suddenly disappeared; Jonghyun turned it off and now focused all his attention to Krystal. Looking up at her from his seat, he asked her, "Is everything okay, Krys?"

 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," Krystal insisted, though Jonghyun's concern just further gloomed her. "I'm –"

 

She felt herself being pulled down to the cushion. She fell with a soft thud when Jonghyun managed to drag her back to sit down and by some magnetic force of some sort, looked at him.

 

He scratched his head before he looked at her. "I might not look like it, but I always think of myself as a good listener. If there's anything you want to tell me, just please do so. Well, you might not have that much trust in me, but..." he trailed.

 

The thing was, Krystal knew. Krystal knew that Jonghyun was a good listener because he actually paid attention to every single complaints she had about his habit when he first adjusted himself to her place. Krystal knew that despite all his unintentional exaggerated expression, when Jonghyun said he was worried, he was really worried. She knew he was always more than what he seemed, always put others before himself and genuinely did so, and that was probably why she sort of fallen for him and because she knew he was just a naturally good person, and that she could never be more than a friend to him, it saddened her.

 

"I..." Krystal began.

 

Jonghyun attentively waited.

 

"I... talked to Sooyoung," she began. "And she said that Kyuhyun, an alumni from mathematic major, had actually a vacant guest room in his flat."

 

Jonghyun said nothing, but Krystal did not have the courage to look at his face anyway. So she only murmured the confirmation that they all knew. "I think, if I ask Sooyoung and Kyuhyun, you could stay at Kyuhyun's until your renovation is done."

 

Jonghyun widened his eyes for a moment, chuckled awkwardly, mumbled something that Krystal did no longer hear, and drew his hands from hers.

 

That had not even been what Krystal wanted to say, but she knew she had to say it. She regretted it, but she had to.

 

30

Kyuhyun was away at a conference in Atlanta or something, so Krystal could not fulfill her promise sooner. Despite Sooyoung's border gloom of Kyuhyun's short disappearance, Krystal had to admit that she was glad Kyuhyun was not in California.

 

While Krystal had been rather moody the entire week, Jonghyun, however, acted as if nothing changed and nothing did matter. He did come back to the flat much earlier, but there was no heart-to-heart talk that Krystal secretly wished, and instead he just watched the TV or play with his guitar or actually work on his assignment. The flash thought that perhaps his soon departure truly did not matter to him kind of dismayed her.

 

31

And no. Krystal was not in love with Jonghyun or anything. He was just charming in his idiotic way, and she was more of a hopeless romantic than she originally thought. Maybe it was like what she told Sooyoung: it was liking the feeling of liking someone. She had to. It had to be that.

 

No, it did not hurt at all when she began imagining the empty room next to her. It did not hurt at all...

 

32

Her pride was getting her nowhere, and she hated herself for that.

 

33

"This is my cell phone number," Jonghyun said as he plastered an A4 paper with big numbers written on it on the inside part of the main door. Krystal finally talked to Kyuhyun the other day, and the latter had approved the idea (with a knowing smirk that seemed to say "you sure you're not regretting this?" and then Krystal realized why Sooyoung was easily intimidated by him).

 

So that day was Jonghyun's last day and the realization kind of fouled her mood. "I already had your phone number," she reminded without any interest.

 

"Well, in case you forgot your phone somewhere."

 

Krystal gave him an "I'm-not-you" look but did not protest when he plastered the paper messily to her blue door. Jonghyun grinned and only fished for the big plastic bag from his grocery shopping spree yesterday.

 

"These are my shampoos, because I know you often use them," Jonghyun added as he placed three new big bottles of shampoos on Krystal's tables. "These are the leaflets from the dimsum restaurant that I often brought you takeaways from," he put the leaflet next to the shampoo, and Krystal saw how he had personally drawn a map on the direction to the dimsum restaurant. "These are new batteries. You may not watch TV often, but I think the remote is almost dead. You'll need to replace the batteries soon."

 

And Jonghyun did not stop there. He picked at least three more objects from his shopping bag (including new light bulbs and hangers –he broke hers a week prior) and scribbled more notes (that includes the phone number of the apartment mechanic –whom Jonghyun had made a friend of two months prior).

 

It was when Jonghyun opened her refrigerator and placed the remains of his soju bottles and commented "Now you can drink without me near you" that she buried her face on her palms and sobbed.

 

Her sobs must have sounded like her usual grumble, because Jonghyun did not avert his attention from re-arranging the contents of her refrigerator and only said, "Well, you said that you don't want to drink near me again. I was only –" Jonghyun paused when finally realized it was a sob instead of a grumble. If Krystal had not been busy hiding her tears, she would have seen the shocked expression he had.

 

Jonghyun recovered from his shock fast enough. He closed the refrigerator door, walked towards Krystal, and pulled her into his embrace.

 

It was at that moment that Krystal realized it. She liked Jonghyun more than just a friend with a bright personality to face the whole university life together; liked him enough to feel that the time was never enough –that the almost five months passed faster than she thought they would; like him enough for always being him and staying with her and knowing her and understanding her; like him enough to –

 

"I hate you," she instead grumbled when he patted her head and allowed her favorite Yoko Ono's t-shirt be drenched with her tears. "I hate you so much."

 

Jonghyun only laughed uneasily. "Well, you get rid of me now, don't you?"

 

His insensitive joke earned him a painful jab on his stomach. Jonghyun groaned for a second, but Krystal was glad he did not let go of his embrace. She was saddened at the same time, however, when he caressed her hair in the gentleness that she never technically felt but was somehow familiar with.

 

"Thank you so much, Krys. I..."

 

Jonghyun did not continue his words, so Krystal slowly pulled her face from Jonghyun's shoulders to look at him. There was this expression on Jonghyun's face that was difficult to be deciphered, so Krystal waited for him to continue his words.

 

"I... really like it here. It probably is too rude for me to claim it as my own, but to me, this is really my home here in the foreign country. And... it's not just the place, it's you. I like staying here with you. I like you –"

 

Krystal swore she had never felt her heart leaped so high then crushed so low in a few seconds.

 

"You've been such a dear friend," Jonghyun concluded with a smile and a brotherly pat on her shoulders.

 

This was when Krystal realized it and she let go of his embrace.

 

The rest of the farewell was rather blurry on her mind. She did remember Jonghyun glancing at her one last time before he walked out of the door and closed it.

 

The closed blue door stared back at her. Only twenty seconds since he walked out, and Krystal was already tempted to call the number plastered on the door.

 

 

34

It was not supposed to be anything dramatic. After all, she did see Jonghyun again the next Monday on the academic writing class. He waved giddily at her, and went to the sets of chair at the back (because Krystal occupied the ones in the front and the ones next to her were occupied –not that Jonghyun would sit next to her if they weren't). After class, Jonghyun ate lunch together with her and Jinri and Jinri's friend from sociology class that Krystal never seemed to like (Krystal caught her laughing too loud at Jonghyun's joke. Jonghyun's jokes were awful, the laugh was exaggerated). After class, Jonghyun also chose to spend times with Jinri and Krystal –even agreeing to accompany Jinri shopping for a new winter coat. Krystal felt her mood got better after the rest of the awful weekend.

 

But then Krystal walked back home to her flat, and realized that there was no Jonghyun's guitar next to the sofa, and that the TV was turned off, and that this time, Jonghyun took his toothbrush away with him, and it hit her again that things were not the same and she missed everything already.

 

Krystal entered the small room that was Jonghyun's until two days ago and took her nap there. She regretted agreeing to Jonghyun's idea to laundry the sheets before he left.

 

35

"So apparently, Kyuhyun's and Jonghyun's mothers knew each other very well. And Kyuhyun and Jonghyun actually met a lot when they were kids, before Kyuhyun enrolled in the special program in his elementary school," Sooyoung told Krystal during their after-library session again. "It's like meeting your childhood friend after all these times. A wonder why both of them only realized each other just lately."

 

"Jonghyun plays guitar everyday. Won't Kyuhyun Oppa be bothered by it?" Krystal asked.

 

"Actually, Kyu plays harmonica. I heard they were composing song together in their spare times."

 

"When they'll have time to? Jonghyun goes out until late of night."

 

"Kyu said they have a starcraft tournament everyday on 7 pm, so I assume both dorks would stay at the apartment most of the night," Sooyoung paused for a while, before she added, "They're like long lost brothers, really."

 

"Oh," was Krystal's response that was mouthed in the most uninterested way. In her heart, she felt absurd that for a moment, she was kind of jealous with Kyuhyun.

 

36

"I'm not getting married," Jessica informed her via Skype again that day.

 

Krystal immediately sat up from her previously lying down position, pulled the monitor of her laptop to get a clearer image of Jessica and asked her, "What? Why?"

 

"Well, we will get married," Jessica ascertained. "Just, not as soon as I thought it would be."

 

Krystal thought that the news would make her ecstatic, but the wave of relief and happiness did not come as meaningful as she had expected it to be. Perhaps because she saw the slight redness on her sister's eyes. "Why, Unnie? Did Tyler –"

 

"Oh, no, it has nothing to do with Tyler. Well, he did say he want to pursue his master degree first, but..." Jessica exhaled a deep breath. "Anyway, that means we could still be roommate when you come back for your summer holiday. Just want to let you know that."

 

Krystal knew Jessica the most to know that this was not a subject that her older sister was comfortable talking about at the moment. Krystal pushed the thought to inquire further, though Krystal did not know why this bothered her more than the idea of the accelerated wedding Jessica told her several months prior. "...Okay."

 

Jessica flashed her a big smile and averted the subject from her to Krystal. "So."

 

"So?"

 

"Don't you think it's time you introduce me to this Jonghyun guy?"

 

The mention of his name flabbergasted her. But Krystal was careful in choosing her words. There was still a possibility that Jessica had not known yet, and in any event, Jonghyun technically moved out already, so if she confronted her the question –

 

"I can't believe you never told me what has happened when he was your roommate for nearly five months," Jessica said, and had a small laugh when the older Jung notice the panic that crossed her sister's eyes. "Jinri told me. Or accidentally told me, I guess."

 

Krystal was at lost at word, and in the end she only said, "I'm sorry."

 

"What for?"

 

"For hiding it from you," Krystal said, and realized that there was more than that. "For disappointing you. But I swear, Unnie. I'm here to actually study and –"

 

"So nothing happened?"

 

"Nothing," Krystal confessed, a bit regretful to the content.

 

Jessica's eyes softened knowingly before she made the right-to-the-point and rightfully-correct comment. "You like this boy."

 

There was no use of denying, so Krystal only gave a little nod.

 

Jessica grinned and then she told her sister how wonderful it was, that it was just about time, that the last guy Krystal liked was in Jr. High, and that she was worried for her, and everything that made Krystal only stared at the screen and mumbled, "You're not mad?"

 

Her older sister on the other line looked horrified. "Why would I be?"

 

Jessica asked more details about Jonghyun –all questions that Krystal already knew the answer of, and it dazzled her how much she actually knew about Jonghyun. She answered all questions easily, except for one that she did not know how to respond to.

 

"So, he does like you as well, doesn't he?"

 

"He does," Krystal affirmed. "As a friend."

 

"...Oh," Jessica grimaced. "Ouch. You're sure?"

 

"He confirms it directly and indirectly in too many occasions," Krystal said with a sigh.

 

Jessica smiled softly. "You just don't know yet."

 

Krystal did not want to have anymore of the undeserved hope. "You don't even know Jonghyun," she blurted.

 

"I don't," Jessica affirmed. "But judging from what you tell me about him, if he does consider you as a friend, he considers you as a very special one."

 

"But a friend, still," Krystal pointed out. 

 

Jessica laughed. "Come on, Krissy. I think you know him better than that."

 

37

Krystal thought she did know Jonghyun better; but there was nothing affirmative, and she just did not want to have a high expectation to be crushed so down low. Sure, Jonghyun treated her in a special way; he told her things Jinri did not even know of; sometimes she caught him stealing glances at her (though after that, he only made a very nonchalant and trivial comment); and she felt there was electricity-like thrill when their hands touched; and if she allowed herself to be more of a dreamer, she swore Jonghyun wanted to say something more on their farewell day.

 

But she did not know anything for sure. And this thought always bring her back to square one.

 

"If he likes me," Krystal pointed out to Jessica through Skype three days after she found out that her sister already knew about Jonghyun. Krystal did think about it for three days, and she felt like she could come up with a retort on how Jonghyun couldn't possibly like her more than a friend. "If he likes me, he will contact me more often..."

 

"You miss him?" Jessica asked rather loudly as she was blowdrying her hair in front of the laptop.

 

"Well, we do chat on campus, but –"

 

"You want more," Jessica knowingly remarked. "Ah, the good days. How fun..."

 

"It's not," Krystal affirmed. "It would have been, if it's not one-sided, but..." she paused and as she waited for Jessica to form that perfect curls, Krystal's door bell rang. Her pizza that was long due, she thought sadly on how she spent her Friday night alone with the sister she could not hug and pizzas that she would have to eat by herself. "A moment, Unnie," Krystal told her sister, stood up from the cushion and put her laptop on top of her DVDs collections.

 

The door bell rang again, and Krystal shouted to the delivery man to wait. She looked for her purse somewhere around the couches, found it, and walked to the door. The bell was ringing again just when she was about to open it and Krystal swore she would deduct the amount of tip she would give to the pizza man.

 

What awaited behind the door, however was not pizza, but rather dim sum.

 

And the freshly-scented, brightly-smilling Kim Jonghyun.

 

Her heart skipped a beat.

 

"Friday dim sum night!" he announced brightly. "With additional pizza that I get from your delivery. Met him downstairs."

 

Krystal must have been rather surprised with the whole ordeal because what she asked was just whether Jonghyun paid for the pizza as well. Jonghyun exclaimed in affirmative as he casually invited himself into Krystal's apartment. He chattered idly about how the dim sum man gave him extra xiao long bao that day as he grabbed the plates from Krystal rack (the familiarity lingered), dumped all the dim sum to the big plate and carried the plate along with two chopsticks to the table in front of the TV.

 

It took him only the third shumai to realize that Krystal was still standing by the door. With full mouth, he asked her to sit near him and Krystal, enchanted, dragged her feet like a six-tons robot to the couch. She sat carefully next to him as he switched the channel.

 

"Why are you here?"

 

He gave her a quizzical look. Krystal sighed and said again, "Isn't this the time of your starcraft tournament against Kyuhyun Oppa?" She regretted saying that immediately –now it sounded like she was a crazy stalker knowing exactly what his schedule was.

 

Jonghyun did not catch that particular worry, though he asked, "What's the relationship with me being here and Kyuhyun?"

 

Krystal's face burned and she chose to look at the TV without watching it. "...You like spending time with him more."

 

"That's not true."

 

Krystal's face lightened up. "It's not?"

 

"Well, I mean it is more fun with Kyuhyun Hyung," Jonghyun admitted and Krystal stared coldly at him. Baffled, he added, "But me wanting to be here now does not have anything to do with Hyung, right?"

 

It did not, but Krystal was just losing her calmness and Jonghyun drove her mad for the past few days already and it did irk her how he was having bro-moments with Kyuhyun too much. Krystal claimed that her PMS was in place, and she swore this was all hormones and anxiety for the final terms, and everything. All in all, she did not know how the quarrel happen.

 

It would help if the quarrel was a substantial one. Krystal knew that this one was clearly not, but she could not stop.

 

"You like Kyuhyun Oppa more than me."

 

"Well, while I still don't know why Hyung is related to all of these, isn't that the same thing with you and Jinri too?  I often feel left out when you guys are shopping for underwear..."

 

"It's not comparable."

 

Jonghyun gave her a look that said 'It's-exactly-comparable-and-I-don't-know-why-we're-debating-on-this-issue-but-if-this-is-what-you-want-to-talk-about-then-fine'.

 

"And you're the one who suggested that I moved out to Hyung's place anyway."

 

"That's because you clearly are not comfortable with me."

 

"What? How did you get that impression?"

 

"Then you're too comfortable with me!" she raised her tone .

 

Jonghyun scoffed helplessly. Women.

 

"Well, isn't that a good thing?" he countered.

 

"It's not."

 

Jonghyun looked defeated and utterly confused at the same time. "I don't get it. Do you want me to be comfortable around you or not? What do you want exact –"

 

"I just want you to like me, dimwit!" she blurted out.

 

Jonghyun blinked.

 

Krystal thought that her face must have been as white as a ghost's when she realized what she just said. She let out a loud groan and looked down to her feet. That was it. She ruined it. Not only her chance for a romance with Jonghyun, but also her friendship with him. All happened because she was just so dumb and irrational and agitated.

 

"I do like you, Krys."

 

Krystal groaned again and this time just buried her face on her palms. Now that she ruined everything, be it. Nothing could have been worse than this anyway. "Yeah, sure. You like me as much as you like having no class on Monday."

 

"What do you want me to like you as then?"

 

Krystal dreadfully glared at Jonghyun –at his audacity for making her say things that were so obvious that it would make her stupid when she said that.

 

But Krystal still said that nonetheless. "...someone special. More than a friend, more than a roommate," she mumbled still on her palms.

 

"Why?"

 

"Because I like you more than a friend and more than a roommate!" she growled in horrid at these words that slipped through her lips. If she could see Jonghyun's face, she probably wanted to unjustly smack him due to her own embarrassment.

 

"Since when do you like me?"

 

"I don't know..." she howled. "It just happened."

 

"Why do you like me?"

 

She thought about it with face still buried on her palms. There could be more material reasons, but what came out of her lips were just series of things that did not seem to matter –and perhaps they did not, but they still mattered to her. She told him a lot: how she liked the scent of his shampoo, how he astounded her for being able to understand the professor's explanation even when he looked as if he was only doodling dinosaurs on his notebook, how y he was after shower, how he did not run away even after seeing her puke, how he told her the things that she needed to hear, and not the things that she wanted to hear...

 

"And?"

 

"...and the way you can actually look good when you're wearing neon green and yellow shirt..."

 

"Hmm."

 

"... the way you drew me maps to my favorite restaurants."

 

"Right. Then?"

 

"A-and the way you cleaned up the bathroom after use."

 

"Yes. Come on, what's next?"

 

It was at that point that Krystal lifted her face from her palm and glanced at him with ire –only to be fazed when she found out that he was leaning close to her, chin on propped palm, a satisfied smirk on his lips and playful gaze on his eyes.

 

And all that she could think of was it.

 

With a widening, almost innocent smile, he questioned her, "What else, Krystal?"

 

Horrified, she groaned loudly and grabbed a cushion pillow to cover her face again. "You ing idiot! You ing enjoy embarrassing me!"

 

"Of course I enjoy it," Jonghyun said with a laugh as he drew the pillow away from Krystal's face. "Any man would enjoy being complimented that way. And wow, I knew I was not imagining things when I watched the way you look at me after I come out of shower."

 

Her pale face burned again and she felt like she wanted to kick Jonghyun's shin very, very hard at that moment. In fact, she was so tempted to do it, perhaps after she finished her rant, "You ing insensitive, idiotic, –"

 

He grabbed her head and silenced her rants with a quick peck on her lips.

 

She stared at him wide-eyed, terrorized, as he chuckled. "And I love the way you curse," he tilted his head as if he was pondering for things. "And I like the way your lips taste without vomit. I like it a lot."

 

"..."

 

"And I like the way you mumble to yourself in English when you can't find your shower cap. The way you pretended not to know when I sneaked my old sneakers back in. The way you can look effortlessly gorgeous even when you're only in t-shirt and jeans," he grinned, enjoying the blush that was spreading to her ears. He pressed her again, "...the way you're so jealous but pretend that you're not."

 

"I'm not jealous!"

 

"And how you're being stubborn when you're embarrassed," Jonghyun pointed out –effectively silencing her. "Oh, and the way you firmly grabbed my that night," he confessed, totally enjoying the spreading humiliation. "And I love secretly watching you trying to deny your feelings to me all these times," Jonghyun winked as he kissed her again, deeper, firmer.

 

"You knew?!" Krystal shrieked.

 

"I told you I may not look like it, but I'm quite smart," Jonghyun said with a grin. His grin then dropped slightly to a soft smile as he placed his hands on Krystal and looked at her straight in the eye, because at the end of the day, he knew her enough to know that she still had her insecurities and while Jonghyun felt the insecurity was baseless.

 

"...You're just too nice. To anyone," Krystal slowly said.

 

"Krys, you know me better than that," Jonghyun sighed and stared at her with the kind of gaze that made her flinch, that somewhat was accusative, that felt unjustified but at the same time, reasonable. There was an almost pitiful smile on his face when he said his next words, “I always kinda have a crush on you even back then when we first met. But then you’re all about drawing the boundaries, which is cool, and of course I accept, but…” he scratched his head. “I thought you did not want it.”

 

Krystal stopped thinking.

 

And she started believing.

 

"Trust me now?" Jonghyun asked.

 

She shrugged and never answered him that, but yes, it was a yes.

 

Jonghyun pushed her back to the couch; caressing the skin beneath her t-shirt as he refused to stop kissing her. Krystal felt like she lost her breath when Jonghyun's lips trailed lower to her neck and his palm kneaded her and Krystal thought she could not think.

 

To the point that she could not even remember she still let her Skype with Jessica on. And it was not until Jessica yelled from the screen that she remembered.

 

"Don't forget to play it safe, children!"

 

The End

 

A/n: The reason why I delayed posting this was because I really was quite disappointed with this installment. The reason why I eventually post it now is because I realize I may not have the passion to rewrite this again, well... sorry for my unprofessionalism and this half-assed effort... I sadly don't have the intention to write a kpop fic for the time being, but if I ever do, I'll try better.