This chapter was actually supposed to come sooner than this, but you guys don't even know the amount of difficulty I've been having with technoloy T.T Please forgive me and carry on <3 Love you. 

Luhan kicked at the woodchips as he tried to gather his thoughts. It was a fairly nice day out, and he had just been released from school. Afternoons during this time of year seemed to always be composed of chirping birds and nice weather. The wind wasn’t too strong and the air wasn’t too dry, everything about the day was perfect. Luhan kept telling himself that he should make use of it by playing some soccer with his friends, but he couldn’t keep his mind straight. Playing soccer would only make his friends wonder what was wrong with his attitude.

“It’s going to rain soon,” Yoona mentioned, looking at the sky.

Luhan followed her gaze to the wide stretch of blue in front of them. “It looks quite clear to me.” The day was still beautiful and he didn’t hear anything about a rainy forecast this morning.

“I don’t mean right now,” she replied. “It’s springtime. It’ll start raining a lot within the next few weeks.”

Of course. April is the month with the biggest contrast within itself in the springtime. The first half of the month is like May, warm and sunny. The second half is a complete one-eighty, turning into an era of rainstorms and gray skies. Luhan would know this better than anyone.

“Ew,” he groaned, thinking about the muddy season to come. He hated the way the rain always made the ground soggy. He would spend days trying to clear the mud from his cleats whenever he had to play on a wet field.

“You don’t like rain.” Yoona uttered, using that sentence as more of a statement than a question. Of course Luhan didn’t like rain.

“It messes with my soccer cleats.” Not only that, but it also messed with the way Luhan likes to organize his days. Meteorologist could never give a 100% accurate forecast for rain (or for any type of weather really), which meant that rain is always somewhat unpredictable.

Luhan didn’t like things to randomly spring into his life. He always spent his day organizing the next, but he could never prepare himself for rain. Rain just wasn’t a part of his agenda, and he could never fit it in anywhere in his day. But it would come anyway, despite his dislike for it.

“I like rain,” her sudden comment made Luhan tear his attention from the sky and onto her face for the first time since they came to the park. Her eyes were as bright as always, staring up into the bright abyss above them at a certain nothingness. “I always think of it as a way to cleanse the earth.”

Rain cleanses the earth but it makes his cleats dirty.

“Sometimes, it almost feels as if it could even wash sins away.”

Luhan could not remember if Yoona was smiling before, but she is definitely not smiling now. Her expression was solemn, almost nostalgic. There was a certain wistful side of Yoona that made its appearance once in a while, when you’d least expect it. Maybe when her family was brought up, or when she talked about her favorite flowers. . . A sober thoughtfulness would hang over her face, and she would grow quiet. Luhan didn’t know if those were good times or bad times for her, for whatever was going on inside her head, but he never asked. He figured that she wouldn’t tell him anyway. Yoona was his best friend and vice versa, but Luhan knew that there were some things that both of them just kept to themselves.

Besides, how would he go about asking her about it anyway? “Hey Yoona, what’s with that glum look on your face?” or “Yoona, what’re you thinking about?” He had tried the latter several times before when he noticed that this melancholic side of her came out, but it only dragged her out of her reverie and she would place her usual beautiful Yoona smile on her face again, pretending that she had no thought on her mind whatsoever.

Luhan cleared his throat. “So. . . “ he started, trying to think up of a way to ask her the question that’s been blazing through his mind recently. “Do you like someone?”

Yoona’s eyes grew wide as saucers, not expecting the question. She was taken aback at first, mainly because she would never have predicted him asking her this. She stared at him for a moment, though his eyes could only find his shoes.

She knew the answer to this, of course she did, but she wasn’t sure if this was the right moment to tell him. “Yes, I do,” she answered honestly. Though she didn’t want to tell him, Yoona and lying never danced well together.

Luhan wasn’t surprised. He didn’t even bat an eyelash, which worried her. He only sighed, moving his gaze to the wide horizon again. “And who is this young lad?”

“Young lad?” she was confused by his vocabulary, and even more befuddled with his calm demeanor. He had actually been more quiet than usual all week, and Yoona didn’t know if she should be asking him if there was more trouble at home or not.

“Yes, young lad, it means youthful man. Unless you’re trying to tell me he’s not youthful. Or a man. I don’t judge.”

Yoona scoffed. “I know what that means.” Though he hasn’t done anything to upset her, she felt as if her patience was tested. His tone of voice made it seem as if he was talking to a child, and it insulted her a bit, even if he meant for it to be a joke. “I just don’t know if I want to tell you.”

Luhan’s grip on the metal chains of the swingset tightened, and so did his jaw. The intended jovial atmosphere completely dissolved in half a second, and she felt immediate regret for her words. She was never the type to be so frank.

After a moment of thought, Luhan exhaled a breath that he felt like he held in for hours and got off the swingset, picking up his bookbag. He didn’t look back at her, he couldn’t bring himself to. The look on his face must not be very pleasant, and there’s no need to worry her with that as well. It wasn’t even her fault anyway, that he was being like this, that he felt like this. Maybe indirectly, because she didn’t know what she was doing to his heart. But it still ultimately wasn’t her fault.

His heart felt burdened again, like it did so many times this week (or maybe it never stopped feeling that way at all?). Even though they were childhood friends (more like best friends), there were things that he would never be able to say to her, and times when he would never be able to face her.

Truth is, Luhan dislikes the feeling of being so replaceable to Yoona. She was his best friend, and he was hers, but Yoona didn’t need Luhan in her life, and he knew that too well. Throughout the years, he has never done anything extraordinarily remarkable for her to remember him by if he was gone, and he knew that that may be one of his biggest regrets in life. He had watched her grow up, from that raggedy little girl who kept following him that one day to the young lady she is now (and lord knows what kind of words he’d come up with if someone were to ask him to describe her at this moment). Yoona is still the same child from before, the one with the doe eyes that held more than the world in their brown irises, and an alligator smile that could devour almost anything. She’s still a choding, she’s still playful, she’s still passionate about life and everything in it. But now, something is different, and Luhan hates himself for not realizing it earlier.

Yoona is a woman. Luhan has thought back many times, trying to remember when he first felt that way towards her, and he tried to remember when exactly did she become so beautiful (and voluptuous). It was a good change for her, it really was. But not all of the emotions that came with Yoona growing up felt as good as she looked.

Yoona doesn’t make Luhan feel good, but she makes him feel something. And that alone is new to him.

“You don’t have to tell me.” Luhan swings his bookbag over his back and starts walking toward the direction of his house, knowing that she won’t follow. “I think I already know who it is anyway.”

Kai juggled the pastry in his hands, trying to decide whether he wanted to eat it or toss it out the window.

“Stop playing with your food,” Yoona ordered, tasting her own delicious treat.

“It looks like what dough poop would look like if dough could poop.” He took another good look at the bread, disgusted by the flaky surface. What was this? A cheap croissant? He didn’t even like croissants to begin with.

“It’s called a scone, Jongin.”

“My name’s Kai,” he corrected with a small smile on his face, “and I guess this piece of dough poop has a name too.”

Yoona couldn’t help but return his smile. Though Kai had an awkward sense of humor, he never failed to brighten her day with his weird tactics. Even if it made her lose her appetite.

“So what shall we do today, Jonginnie,” she sing-songed cheerfully, refusing his request to call him by the ridiculous nickname like she always did. “Shall we go to the amusement park? Botanical garden? Namsan Tower?”

The tan-skinned boy smirked, dropping his scone (he never should’ve let Yoona persuade him into buying such a repulsive thing). “It seems like you’re suggesting the most popular couple spots.” He was teasing her. Of course he was teasing her. Yoona was simply naming her favorite places to be, whether it be with him, with someone else, or by herself. She never struck him as the type to rely on other people’s company for her own happiness. “But of course, being the gentleman that I am, I will willingly take you to any place you desire to be.”

“Well if you keep that arrogance up, the only place I’ll want to be is home. Where you’re not.”

Kai smiled at her retaliation, always amused with her innocent sass. Yoona thinks she’s good at talking smack, but he knows better. For one, she’s not good at talking smack if her only threat is that she’ll go home (as if he wouldn’t follow her home anyway. . . asifhewouldn’tfollowheranywhereshedecidedtogo).

“Let’s go to the botanical garden,” he decided. He’s been wanting to know what her favorite flower was anyway.

There was a comfortable silence between them as Yoona enjoyed her scone--and Kai tried to enjoy his. This was probably what he loved about her the most: even when cheerful, bright Yoona had nothing to say, her presence alone was as comforting as her words. She was so content with life, every second of it, that it often made Kai wonder what he was doing with his own, and why he couldn’t live the way that she always did. He had been to her house once. She was an only child, and that was probably a good thing, she had told him once, because who knows if her parents could have afforded another child (in her own words, he swears it). She lived humbly, or, as humbly as she could, and so did her parents. There was nothing that was extravagant about her life that Kai could remember for the time that he has known her. She didn’t live nearly as luxuriously as he or half of the population at their school did, nor did she have much to motivate her. She didn’t get outstanding grades, they were only average. She didn’t have a popular group of friends, she hung out with a variety of people. She wasn’t really loved by anyone, but she wasn’t hated either. Kai had no idea how someone, who’s life was so average, could end up being such a remarkable human being.

When he woke up each morning, he’d look out the window, knowing that the sun rose just so it could get a glimpse of Yoona walking to school. Looking at the moon every night gave him some sort of solace, knowing that the bright white light that lit up the darkness watched over Yoona as she slept. Sometimes, when the wind blew an extra cool breeze, he’d stop to wonder if she was standing somewhere enjoying the same breeze as well. That was the kind of person Im Yoona was. She was born into a nobody family in a nobody town with a nobody reputation, but she was unlike any other. She was the world’s best kept secret, he knew it. There weren’t many people who bothered to get as close to Yoona as he did, or else the entire world would revel at the gracious being that she was. And sometimes, when he watched her walk down the hallway, long hair hangly loosely down her back and uniform nicely ironed, just like any other girl in the building, he just wanted to scream at the top of his lungs all of the things he loved about her, and why everyone else should see it too. But Kai knew he would never do such a thing. Not just because he didn’t want to embarrass either of them, but because, like a good secret, he wanted Yoona to be hidden. It is selfish of him, of course. But Yoona was a delightful little song that the universe, as long as Kai was alive, would never be able to recognize. It was a melody that he wanted only himself to be able to hum along to.

He also knew that it would be stupid of him to think that someone else didn’t already figure the notes out on his own.

“What are you thinking about?” Yoona’s sweet voice pulled him out of his reverie.

He gave her a small smile. “I have to ask you a question.” He didn’t reply to her inquiry, but he knew that he would be indirectly answering it with his query.

“And I might have an answer.”

“Do you like anyone?” For some reason, Yoona didn’t look surprised.

She didn’t even hesitate in answering, “Yes.”

“Who is it?”

“That’s confidential,” Yoona smirked, trying to play mischievous.

“Between you and who?” Kai challenged.

“Me, myself, and I.”

Kai scoffed. “So. . . other than yourself, you’ve told. . . no one.”  

Yoona’s eyes averted from his, and her smile softened. It almost hurt his heart, knowing that the person she was thinking of now was not him. “It’s not something I talk about much,” she admitted the obvious.

“I’ll say.” His voice was much more sarcastic than he intended it, but could you really blame him? Here he was, thinking about how this girl is the reason for the existence of everything fine and beautiful in the world, yet he knew that she had lost her heart to someone else a long time ago.

“It’s okay,” he tried to match the sourness in his tone with a ease. Leaning back in his chair and giving her a smirk that was meant to be sly, he added, “I think I already know who it is anyway.”

Kai would have sworn he heard her murmur, “Why does everyone keep thinking they know,” but when he asked her, she just brushed it off as nothing.

“Well look who it is!” Kai felt two arms strangle his neck in a tight embrace as someone tried to back hug him. He could recognize that high-pitched chirp of a voice anywhere. “Kaiiiiiiii,” he nearly jumped from her sharp tone screeching into his ear, “why are you here all by your lonesome, huh?”

He pried her arms loose, rubbing his throat and trying to catch his breath. “I could ask you the same, SooJung.”

“Well, I’m not really here alone, I’m with Taeminnie. But he went to look for some shaved ice for us, and my legs hurt, so I decided to take a seat by those benches over there. But then I saw you and here I am! To talk to you!”

Jung SooJung was a real mystery sometimes. At school, she’d act quiet and bashful, always staying reserved. Even to those who she was close to, she interacted a lot less with at school. Or maybe she just didn’t talk quite as loud during class. But whenever he saw her outside of school, oh my goodness. She was a never-ending rap song, spitting out anything that was on her mind.

“Your turn! Why are you here by yourself, huh? It’s not fun to go on these rides by yourself, you know! Especially the ferris wheel, god you must be so lonely if you were to ride that by yourself.”

Kai exhaled, trying to remind himself to be brush off her annoying presence. “I’m actually her with Yoona,” he explained. “She’s in the bathroom.”

“Oh! Yoona? Im Yoona? Awww she’s so cute! You guys are both so cute! You know some people have been telling me that the older I get, the more I look like her?”

“And who has been telling you that?” he tried to shrug off the urge to roll his eyes.

“Oh, everyone really.” Her smile suddenly turned into a tight line as she eyed him. This wasn’t the usual Kim Jongin. He always held his head high and wore the biggest grin ever in school. Now, he was only staring at his feet. SooJung sighed, knowing that part of it was that she was annoying him at the moment, but also the majority of it was because of something that he would never willingly tell her about. SooJung was like that sometimes, perky on the outside, yet insightful in every other way.

“Hey,” she called, her tone suddenly not so aggravating.

When he lifted his head to look at her, there was a teasing glint in her eyes, yet her smile was soft. It almost seemed as if she was trying to irk and console him at the same time.

“Does it bother you?”

He shot her an inquiring look, taken aback. “Does what bother me?”

“Yoona. Does it bother you?” The question was still written all over his face, yet she paused before continuing, studying the ground in front of them. SooJung was never really that close to Kai, but there was something about him that made her feel certain of herself. If Kai was happy, the world seemed to shine that much brighter. If Kai was sad, the world went down with him as well. She’s guessing that he’s just one of those kind of people that the rest of the universe is attracted to, the kind that everyone seems to love and adore regardless of how he acts toward them. Maybe that’s why she has always found herself coming back to him, although he never seemed to care about what she had to say anyway.

“You look at her like she puts the stars in your sky. But she’s always looking at someone else. Does that bother you?” It was a genuine question, but somehow, she wished she could take it back after she saw his expression drop once again.

I look at Yoona like she puts the stars in my sky, but she’s always looking at someone else.

Hello lovelies! 

I hope this chapter wasn't too boring or mushy mushy for you guys. 

I tried to write a better chapter than the last one. But my first chapter was so amazingly terrible. 

I hope you can find it somewhere in your heart to forgive me <3

Summer is coming to an end, which means I have to start school again soon.

Things will definitely get tougher, but I will try to write as much as my lazy hands will let me haha. 

Also, comments and feedback from you guys always make me feel loved and more motivated to finish 

a story, so please do give me some feedback. It doesn't necessarily have to be about the story,

I will accept any constructive criticism as well!!

Thank you so much my lovely readers! Until next time!

Chu ~ <3 

word count: 3,414