“Ya Lee Hayi!” A middle school boy approach his class mate with his face all extremely happy.

“What?” The girl who called Hayi just looked at her book and fix her glasses.

“Thanks, if it is not because of your parents, my company would not be saved.” He closed Hayi book to get her attention. Hayi just took a deep sigh and look at him also smiled.

“It was my perents, not me. Oh, Sehun now give my book back”

“I know, but still.” He gave her book back.

::::::::::::::::

“Oh Sehun, you will not forget tonight right?” Hayi approach Oh Sehun who in the middle of talk with his friends. All of them looked into Hayi weirdly, Sehun took a deep sigh and looked down.

“Come with me.” Sehun held Hayi’s arm and dragged her to quite place.

“Hayi, could you please just don’t talk to me in this High school?”

“But we are classmate Sehun-ah?” Hayi tried to smile when it actually little bit hurt.

“Yeah, not like we seem close.”

“But we are close.” Hayi complitely lose her smile.

“Just talk to me in the classroom ok?”

:::::::::::::::

“Ok everyone choose your partner.” A teacher of Hayi and Sehun told them to look for partner in the outside activity. This one was pretty hard to do alone and without man helping, they have to carry heavy things. Hayi’s friends called Yoo Ha Ni got partner easily, she is pretty and lovely, she was nice too, every boy liked her. “Hayi, you still got no partner, please choose one.” Hayi looked at Sehun, she was busy with Ha Ni, did not even care. Hayi looked the rest of her boyfriends, two of them avoided eye contact. Hayi looked down and took a breath.

“Miss, can I do this alone?” All eyes turned into Hayi.

“Hayi, I know you are smart you have to carry something heavy.”

“It’s ok miss. I’ll do this alone.”

“Ok then, it’s up to you.”

::::::::::::::::::

Hayi sat alone in the bench near football pitch, she watched a sport which she liked, and then She turned her gaze to a girl, she was being approached by someone cool they matched together. Hayi was a normal girl who wanted to be loved and to adore, she always read that novel who gives her hope, about a girl who poor and just being herself was loved by prince charming, but the reality hit her, all she saw just every guy in the word fall by appereance then, who will fall by just being who you are? Hayi bealive that A guy who love because only face he also did not include heart in the relationship. What a shame, but Hayi still beliefe there is someone out there.

“Yo!” Someone poke Hayi’s brow.

“Hey you surprised me! Oh, you already done play?”

“You sitting here all day long and you did not pay attention at all?” The guy gave his irritating face.

“It’s not like that Hongsoek-ah. I did watch.” Hayi punched his arm lightly.

“Then, who won?”

“Ah.” Hayi speechless did not know what to say.

“So, what is it this time?” Hayi grabbed bottle water in the Hayi’s bag. He knew that it was for him anyway.

“I am fine.” Hayi looked down bit her lower lip.

“Ck.” Hongsoek drank from the water and looked away, he seemed got irritated. He took deep breath and look at the sky which already orange, the sun prepare to leave soon. “You and your habit. Last time you said you were fine then second after you lose you conscious.” Hayi laugh when she heard that. She remembered again that moment.

“It is not about my health this time.”

“Then what?”

“Well, Hoengsoek, how you think I am as a girl?” Hayi seemed hesitate to say that, he did not look at Hoengsoek at all who surprised with that question. Then Hongsoek seemed understand what Hayi trying to say.

“Well, of you just make your skirt shorter and your shirt smaller, and let go your pony tail and....”

“I have to change everything then.” Hayi looked down, lower her chin.

“Exactly. No need to be a girl, just being yourself.” Hayi then looked up swam through the orange sky above her. Thinking what Hongsoek said, she smiled for that answer.

“But, being yourself won’t make you to be loved by someone.” She showed her smirk.

“Ah, you fall in love.”

:::::::::::::::::::

“Well done everyone, remember your entire assignmentsst do it individual though you’re doing it on pairs.”

“Yes!” All the students answer the teachers that spook after the rough biology practice.

“Hayi, are you alright? You carried heavy things alone?”

“Ah? Ah... yes.” Hayi who did not pay attention at all of what her teacher said little bit surprised when her name was being called.

It was almost dark; Hayi approached Sehun who just prepare to enter his car that full of his friends.

“Sehun, will you take me home please?”

“Can’t you see that my car is full?”

“But... ok then, I just take walk.”

The weather was actually perfect, in the orange sky, Hayi took her heavy step. The road is quite, in the left side you can find trees that almost fall because the hot weather in the summer. The wind summer did not help Hayi for breathing normally, sometimes she stopped to take long breath, she did not know who to call, her driver in the village to meet his family, and she did not want to call her family. She did not want to worry them. But as far as the road she took, the darker her sight, everything became blurry, her breath became hard. She sat in under one of the tree, let out her phone and dialed a number.

“Hongseok- ah, help me.”

:::::::::::::::::

Since the accident, Hayi changed. She did not change into a girl that I told him, she was feeling less. But not into stone that colder than Ice, but vice versa, her warmth will make any Ice melt, she gave everything love, but she did not feel what love from different gender. She grew became that Innocent when someone says he loved her, but so far, no one says that to her, whether she avoid it or indeed no one says he loved her. As for me, I will immediately depress for her love but I always beside her anyway, what I need already mine.

I also know someone who depress for her love, but too ashamed that his hold his pride too strong, Hayi was the girl who not that into what trend style now days, she did not care about her look, I ever heard two guys laugh at her because they talked about girl type, I almost punched them in the face but then I realize, they just blind with pretty faces not pretty heart, I did not say that a pretty girl does not have beautiful heart, but I never understand someone who just fall for it.

Hayi decided to live alone, she avoid any crowd, did not know what crowd she meant. She smiles a lot. Once I saw her teaching in one park near her neighborhood, she seemed the happiest, her students was about 10 but yet I felt like she teach them one by one maybe that was why she really close to them. The students were not a student for a school, she shared what she knew to them, the oldest was about 12 years old.

Every day I saw her came into class, hide behind her smile when I knew that sometimes it attacked her in her body that will hurt her. Since after that accident when Sehun left her, it became worst. I remember what the doctor told me, “Thank you for bring her as soon as possible, I don’t know what will happen if it was not.” I waited her so long, that time, when she woke up, she surprised, not because she was in the hospital, but afraid if I told her family. She did not want to be pitied. She did not like it so much. After that, she decided that she did not know Sehun at all.

Her pretty face also hide behind messed hair, the classy style hide behind the adorable t-shirt. She could buy expensive thing as much she wanted, but she decided to hide from the crowd. She almost reach 22 and she had no lover, her mom worried too much that she always set a blind date for her, though she accepted it, she will ended up feeling no interest at all as I already told you that she feeling less with love from different gander.

I never forget her cheerful voice that always heard in my ear, and after that she smiled show her teeth and her lips almost reach her ears. She said life was tough, even more when you did not know how to share smile. She said, smile can also bring peace. She hated war so much. She was the type who will help you without second thought, as long as it was for good sake and as long as she can. She signed for UNICEF. She said, no more poor kid that could not learn.

“Love is fair, because it is unfair to anyone. So, never blame god. He gives your life so far, what could be more amazing? It is people you should blame and their ego.” She told me this once, and I will never forget. Yeah, the ego and the pride that man had will hurt someone and she was the victim.

::::::::::::::::::::

“Do you think I am a toy huh? Get out from my house, ah no never show up in my eyes, isn’t you always avoid me? Because I am ugly? I bring you ashamed? I am fat, will somehow crash you? Leave and never show me your face again.”

“But I love you.” Sehun looked down endure his tears. He missed her a lot that he cannot stand it.

“Love? What is that? I only know love from my best friend and my family, from stranger like you I never tasted it so leave!”

“I am so sorry.”

“Sorry?”

“If you can confess in the campus that you love me. I forgive you.”

“You don’t like those things.”

“Because you will never do it.”

“How if I really do it?”

“Just leave... please.”

::::::::::::::::::::

I LOVE YOU. LEE HAYI. FROM OH SEHUN.

That was she read fir the first time in her department in her campus, she open widely that words almost cover the main building in there, everyone looked at her some of them pursed their eyebrow, some of them reacted just like Hayi’s did but Hayi too shocked to think what on other’s mind. Someone approach her.

“It took so long and so hard to get campus permission. Only for one hour they said, so It yes or No? Ah, I don’t like No answer so you only have one option.” Hayi looked into Sehun eyes, while her eyes all read from tears, followed by her nose and her ears. Sehun bite his lips looked so nervous. Second after Hayi left Sehun standing alone with full of questions.

::::::::::::::::::::

Hayi sat alone on the branch, wipe her tears and enjoy the silence. She took a deep breath to make some oxygen refresh her brain then again someone approach him.

“Just accept him. You love him don’t you?”

“I used to.”

“But try to make that feeling back. Can you? I want you to be happy.”

“No, Hongsoek-ah I will go to U.S about I don’t know until when, I’m going meet my parent in there. And I will do my therapy. I just scared that it will affect it.”

“But I want you to be happy.”

“But I scared if I ended up hurting both of us.”

Both of them brought the silence again, let the wind heard as instrument in this situation.

“I forgive you already. No matter how hurt you will hurt me I forgive you already I am the most evil person if I don’t, when I know how much you are hurt because of me. And I will follow you no matter where. I will bring you happiness that you deserve.” The voice was from Oh Sehun, it makes Hayi stood and face him. Hayi tears out again even more this time, she cover that open widely to catch some oxygen. Her sight got darker as her breath got harder. She smiled to him the happiest smile he ever seen delivered to him before Hayi couldn’t see anything anymore and couldn’t feel her strength in her legs.