I took her to the cinemas. Fortunately, the famous comedy film was still showing. I intended to make her forget of the sorrow and instead, focus on the laughs that the show brought.  The scenes were so foolish, it made the crowd laugh and I found myself chuckling too. I thought I was successful for I could also hear the boisterous laughter of Suzy beside me. I felt relief.

Not until I glanced at her.

The place was dim but the light was enough for me to see that her cheeks were moistened with tears. However, she was still laughing with the crowd and that was when it occurred to me that she was masking her sorrow with glee.

And I let her be.

When the credits rolled, she buried her face in her hands, bawling. I could do nothing but pat her back. I wanted to hold her close and dry her tears with my lips but I couldn’t because for her, I was still just a stranger who invited her for a movie. It would just make everything between us awkward and I couldn’t afford that for Suzy needs me the most right now.

As her cries subsided, she stared into nothingness and tried to steady her breathing. People were exiting the cinema but we just sat still. I tried to break the silence, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” her voice was weak.

“For being insensitive and letting you watch a funny film even though I know you’re still hurting,” I looked down, embarrassed, “I guess the movie house was not a good choice.”

“It was not,” Suzy answered truthfully but after a few seconds of silence, she added, “It was the best choice.”

My gaze then was brought back to her face and still, she was staring into nothingness but I could see the trace of relief in her – as if there was a huge burden lifted off her.

 “Don’t you have times like this too?” she asked. Then explained, “When the world is spinning so fast in front of your eyes but there’s only so much that you could bear. Suddenly, all you want to do is to vanish at least for a moment in order to have the time to feel and breathe.”

She then met my eyes and said, “Thanks for bringing me to this cinema. It’s really huge and the people are really loud that I think I just faded into the crowd. Then, that momentary invisibility gave me the freedom to let out the pain that has been suffocating me.”

Her lips then tugged into a smile, a genuine smile that I missed as she added, “You did well. Thank you for reminding me how to breathe.”

I smiled back and replied, “You’re the most welcome.”

She pouted as she asked, “But do you want to watch the movie again?”

My eyebrows rose as I asked, “Why?”

“First, I bet that I look horrible right now so I’d rather stay here in the dark for a few more hours to make my face less swollen than it is. Second, I couldn’t really understand all of it since half of the time, the screen was watery in my eyes,” she mumbled.

I snickered but she glared at me and exclaimed. “Don’t laugh! You didn’t watch too!”

“I did,” I argued.

“Did not,” she shot back.

“I did.”

“Did not.”

“I- “

“No, you did not!” she insisted. “I could see you at the corner of my eyes. When you noticed that I was crying, your eyes were on the screen but every bit of your attention was on me. There was no way that you would understand the film at that condition!”

I beamed and refused to argue any further as I just shook my head in defeat making Suzy’s grin wider.

On the next day, I took her to the amusement park and let her take the most exciting rides so that she could have an excuse to shout out all the bottled up emotions in her. There were times that she cursed Soohyun and I couldn’t help but laugh. However, the one thing that I could never forget is that when the roller coaster was going up, as everyone was busy accommodating their fear, Suzy on the other hand, was screaming at the world.

“Why me?! Why does it have to be me?! What did I do to deserve this kind of sickness?! Why is it so unfair?!”

She was mad but to no one in particular. She would always shout questions but throughout the course of the day, she didn’t blame anyone nor anything but her circumstances.

She questioned but she didn’t blame.

There were no more tears but she was shouting all her cries.

At the end of that day, her voice was hoarse and she was laughing at how silly she sounded. I cannot do anything but smile for at that time, her laughter was genuine.

On the third day, we went to the aquarium and when she asked me why, I replied, “This is to demonstrate that there are many fish in the sea.”

She rolled her eyes but chuckled nonetheless and for the whole afternoon, we marveled on the colorful species of various sizes dancing on the vast water in front of us but the most beautiful scene I saw was her eyes filled with astonishment. They were shining with amusement – shining so brightly, no one would ever thought that they had poured so much tears.

“I had fun,” she told me as we walked home.

“Hmmm. Me too,” I nodded.

She then got a penguin stuffed toy from her bag and gave it to me as she sheepishly said, “Here. It’s small but it embodies my gratitude.”

“Thank you,” I thoughtfully said as I accepted it.

She beamed before asking me, “So where would we go tomorrow?”

“Ah... that...” I mumbled. I was apologetic when I replied. “I think we should take a break from going out for a few days. Uhm. I have exams coming up and I kind of need to study.”

“Ahh,” she nodded and assured me, “Don’t worry. It’s okay.”

We bid each other goodbye and we were about to enter our units but then I stopped her.

“Neh?” she turned to me.

“Do you want to sleep with me?” I blurted out.

“N-Neh?!” she stuttered, a blush evidently forming on her cheeks.

I felt myself heating up in embarrassment at the choice of my words so I immediately cleared myself and said, “It’s not what you’re thinking! I-I’m inviting you to sleep in my unit. We don’t have to do anything! You could sleep on the bed while me.... I don’t think I’d sleep for tonight. I need to start studying. So... don’t worry.”

I raised my right hand as I swore, “I promised I wouldn’t do anything that could get me to the police station... again.”

At the mention of our previous circumstance, she chortled but then nodded afterwards, accepting my invitation.

“I’d be in your care then,” she whispered with a beam.

Suzy was rubbing her eyes as she m