Falling For You

Chapter 38

“For how long did you think you can keep ignoring me? Rian, I'm your mother.”

Rian put her poker face on and spoke. “How did you enter the building without a pass?” for a long while Rian stopped any communication with her mother. At times, Rian made spur of the moment decisions, which were rather severe when it came to her relationship with her mother.

“Why are you being like this? I am so worried about you, yet this is how you are acting towards me? What happened Rian-ah?” her mother asked continuously.

Rian breathed deeply. Even at her happiest moments her mother never managed to surprise her with her talent to bring her life down, draining her happiness and energy.

“All I see and read on the media about you is really disappointing. Why doesn’t your CEO try harder or your friends? I'm really disappointed, how they didn’t support you with a vote for that drama.”

Continuous dissing, bringing others down, hating on them. She saw her mother as someone worse than a cyber bully. Hearing her say things so shamelessly, it really put a pressure on Rian – so she didn’t become such a person as well.

“Why are you not answering?”

“Because I'm too tired even to listen to your empty words. Don’t you have enough money in your bank account, I think I manage it all too well. Why do you want to be a caring mother, when all you care about is the money I earn?”

 Rian always preferred silence, because it was harsher than any word that she knew. However in her mother’s case, Rian had to spell out everything for her to understand.

“I care about you, Rian-ah. How can I not, you are my one and only daughter. I don’t need money as long as you are happy.”

Rian laughed. “As if that is true. Don’t lie so obviously.” Rian turned her back to her and started preparing her bag, about to leave the practice room. “Leave while I'm actually being polite and don’t make me call the security.” She said and left her mother behind.

…

“Why are you on the rooftop?” Shi Woo who managed to see Rian walking on the stairs, with a rather pale complexion, he rushed after her immediately. Once he reached, Rian was already sitting, looking at the scenery.

Rian glanced at him as he walked towards her and smiled at him softly, while he put a sweatshirt on her shoulders. “I really had to find a place where I can breathe freely, so I came here.” She muttered.

Shi Woo was already enough worried, but her almost soulless words, made him wonder what was the reason Rian got sullen like that. However he wasn’t confident to ask her. He knew it was a better solution to sit next to her, hold her close to him and just keep silent. That’s what he did exactly.

Rian snuggled closer and closed her eyes.  Her head was filled with all the things she could have said to her mother or could have done… the pain from the past, all the memories rushed. She felt like crying, but she knew she won't be able to cry – especially not because of her mother. The woman she didn’t even want to call a ‘mother’, because she didn’t deserve that at all.

“Don’t worry about me, Shi Woo. Really.” Rian spoke finally. “I just have those moments and it's been a while since last time I was like that. I am already feeling better, thanks to you.”

“Are you sure? Do you think you can tell me why are you like that? Did you read or hear something bad about you?”

Rian smiled. How much she wished such a thing was the reason she felt worthless right now. “Just now, my mother came to see me. That’s why.” She muttered. “I haven’t been answering her calls and messages for a while, but she even came to the company.”

Shi Woo was confused, because Rian hadn’t really opened herself about her relationship with her own mother. Honestly, he would have never thought Rian could have problems with her mother, judging from how mature she is.

“We don’t get along at all. It's too severe, to the point calling her my mother makes me sick.”Rian confessed. “Because of her I was thrown to be an idol in the first place. Ever since my debut, I was the moneymaker of the household. I doubt she sees me as something else.”

Shi Woo hugged her closer. “I trust you completely, Rian. I trust you as the person you are, with all of your lovable traits and your flaws as well. I trust your judgment and I wonder what you went through to have such feeling for your own mother.”

“It's because you love me, Shi Woo. That’s why you trust me. Love makes people blind sometimes. I am nowhere as great as the Rian you have an image in mind.”

“I'm not bli