Kai

The moment I finally noticed that she is gone, a flood of emotions came rushing to me. I wasn't sure how to describe it. Pain from her being away. Hurt  from distrust. Wasn't I worth it? I thought back to her actions before, of her slightly different actions right before her departure. She knew about it, I don't know what it is, but she knew about. I started doubting myself. Reality told me she didn't put enought trust in me. Every single day after she left, I woke up to dreams of her. I couldn't even focus properly on dancing, I was shattered.

A week later, after Suzy left, an envelope was sent to my mailbox. Taped in blood-red letters of the word, warning, it didn't have any from address on it. To Kim Jongin, it read. I took a scissor and carelessly ripped the letter open. A pile of loose photos immediately came unbundled, and some scambled onto the ground, so I reached down, and there I saw it. Something to fill in from my current state of confusion. Even with only her back almost fully facing me, the lips barely visble, her hand across her forehead in a swaying motion seeming to sweep away bangs that were covering her eyes, I knew it was her. Suzy. I devoured her image first, but I caught onto something else. A man stood next to her, stepping up a stair, he was barely taller than her, slightly drooped shoulders and black hair with hints of gray.

The main point was - His hand. Her hand. Were together.

My pain soon turned to anger and dripped of liquids of hatred. I felt the knife of betrayal slicing through my stomach. Are they t-together? Is this what betrayal felt like? 

Some time later, hours later, minutes later, I don't know, nor do I care. I didn't even leave like usual to the academy. How could I? After the realization hit me, I just sat there, in the place where I opened the mail. I closed my eyes, and told myself to relax, and think, to make sense of something that won't make sense. I could only come to one conclusion. She's not here.

I felt so bitter, I pitied myself so. 

In the end, I got up. And picked every photo off the ground, looking at every one of them. I kept checking it over and over. Maybe that's not Suzy? Just someone who looks like her. Just someone who looks like her. Just some who lo... Sing lies of truth to me. 

I just walked forward to somewhere that's not here. I threw the envelope away into a nearby trashbin, and walked away without looking back. I need air. 

Because of her I'm somewhere that's unusual for me. I'm here in a bar, pitying myself. 

I also met Soojung there. Jung Soojung. 

In the coming month, I'll be trying to search for something more. To feed my hunger of confusion, to heal my pain. I didn't even try to call Suzy's number anymore. She probably got a new one anyway. I did research and looked up on the man's information. Using only the photos sent to me, now in the garbage, but engraved in my mind. I can see she's not in Korea, not Asia either.

In America, or Europe. 

The research didn't lead to anything good. I only caused more pain for myself, shooting bullets with my own hand.

A mouse doesn't know it's in a trap before it's already caught. And I am the mouse. I followed the scent by instinct, and got my tail snapped. 

Gone. 

There's no way to explain this. How do you explain this? Simple terms would be Suzy is gone and my mentality is gone, and my dance academy is gone.

And more. Things that you can't see. 

In the park, where we use to meet, is where I'll be pledging an oath.

I thought to myself, How in the f***king world did this happened, my knees on the ground, digging into the mud. My hand grasping my head as if making sure it won't explode.

This was right after the incident.

It wasn't until I went again to the bar when Soojung came to me in a worried tone, that I noticed blood on my forehead. She asked me about the boxes next to me. About why I was bleeding, but I didn't answer her. I was drowned in my own thoughts.

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Hello. Here's an extremely short update, but I wanted to update.
Hope you enjoyed this.

Bye. I will update very soon, so comments please.