A/n: I have edited this as best as i can, if you can find any mistakes/typos please point them out. Also constructive criticism is highly appreciated. Hope you guys enjoy it. 

He never once thought that it would end this way one day. It was solely on business basis that he met this man. He never expected to become friends with this beautiful man when he acquainted him just so he could know about his secrets. Never in his wildest imagination did he think he would fall in love with said gorgeous man. He was sweet, caring, kind and stunning.

                He thinks he understands what the phrase ‘seeing your life flash in front of your eyes’ means now. He remembers back to the day they first met. How he made it seem as though it was some sort of coincidence, when in reality he planned every single detail about their meeting.

               He thinks back to how this man with beautiful deep brown eyes asked him to go stargazing with him. He reminisces about how they kissed under twinkling night sky with the moon as their witness. He thinks back to just how hastily he had let himself fall in love with this man despite knowing it only spells heartache.

               He berates himself for thinking that he was any different to all those men and women who threw themselves at this man’s feet. He remembers the arrogance his voice possessed when he told his friend that he would never fall for a man like him. He relives the moments when said man whispered words of love, mouth pressed against his own.

               He can’t help but think back to last night when they made passionate love against the wall. And once again on the couch and on the bed that the man is sitting on right now staring at him with wide eyes.

               His hands shake and his eye are blurry with tears he is trying to keep from falling.

               “Come here,” he hears the man whisper and his legs move without his permission. He is standing in-between the man’s thighs, trying not to breakdown, when he feels himself pulled to a position where he is straddling the man.

               All the unshed tears are finally falling when he understands the gravity of the situation. He finds his mouth crushed against his lover’s and he finds himself sobbing against his mouth.

               “Shhh its okay baby, it’s okay. Don’t beat yourself over this. I love you,” he hears his lover whisper,

               He wants to scream no, no it’s not okay. None of this would have happened if he hadn’t fallen in love with the man but he did and he knows he has no right to cry for what he is about to do.

               He pushes the man away and stands with his hands pointed towards his lover’s head. He feels fingers covering his own hand and moving them lower to his heart. He wants to scream and cry, but all he can do is wipe his tears and brave himself to finish the job.

               Before he pulls the trigger to the gun, he hears his lover whisper “You’re forgiven my love”

               And even as Taemin walks away from the cold body of his lover, lying with a peaceful smile on the bed, he knows that he will never feel alive again. His soul left his body along with his lover.