Kangta POV

I stood where I was, unmoving as I faced the bulletproof floor to ceiling window of my office.

Truthfully, I had despised that small moment of weakness that overcame me when I reached out to Changmin, when I had accepted his hug, when I had eagerly hugged him back. I was a government leader. I had to learn the self control necessary to run this organization.

The looks on the Outposts when Changmin and I embraced had been enough to confirm their confusion. They didn't know who Changmin was, what he was to me.

I closed my eyes, groaning slightly as I pinched the bridge of my nose to chase away a headache I could feel coming on. Where was the ibuprofen when I needed it?

Amidst the shock and confusion of a few moments ago, I had ordered the Outposts and attendants to leave, as well as the guards. The younger one, Karam, was it? He was brought to a Fixer by Jaejoong to grab a shot for his fever. 

Changmin had stayed with me, as well as Yoona.

 Changmin was... Frail. Perhaps that was the only word I could describe him best. I allowed the two the pleasure of staying, though I could tell that Changmin was too winded and shocked to say much. 

He had asked me, with fear in his voice, whether I was the 'Kangta' the Outposts had spoken of. I told him I was. The Chil Hyun he had met fifteen years ago was no more. He was gone, banished, destroyed, to be replaced with Kangta, the leader of Nine. I would never forget the haunting look that crossed his eyes as they suddenly brimmed with tears. They were tears of pain, sadness, disappointment and pity, each drop a loud testament to his emotions.

I had wiped the tears away, a stab of pain in my heart as I knew that those tears were for me, and not for him. Changmin hadn't changed, not even an ounce. He was still the same compassionate child who had cried when his friend was beaten by a nurse, the same child who had opened up to a complete stranger, to me. The same child, even after all these years.

I had asked both Yoona and Changmin to leave right then, needing the space to think. Changmin, the painfully innocent child that he always was, had asked if he would see me again. I had nodded, wiping his tearstains away. I'm sure he knew, based on his reaction, that I was the person who would determine his fate, whether he would live or die, whether he could ever walk out of this alive. I'm sure he knew of the torture I had put the Outposts through, how Yunho's heart had stopped, how overall evil I basically was.

And yet here he was, unwilling to go, crying his pain for me, unreserved in his touches and fearless of what I was. I had always known that his compassion would lead him to trouble one day. But not like this. No. Never had I ever imagined that it would get like this.

"I'll see you soon. I promise," I had said, offering some sort of comfort as he moved to hug me once more. I wanted to hold myself back, to not let myself be chained to him. I was a professional. I *had* to be a professional. 

But this was Changmin. *My* Changmin. The same Changmin I had promised to protect. The same Changmin who said he'd protect me too.
I felt my arms move of their own accord, wrapping themselves around his chest.

Yoona had left, with Changmin in tow. The look she had given me over her shoulder was warning enough. To not mix business with the personal. 
I moved to my office chair, elbows propped against my desk with my fingers steepled together deep in thought. My mind wandered without warning, going back to the time when I was assigned to an orphanage to search for new Outposts.

I was in my early twenties during that time, sent to a far off and secluded area of Korea, one that required hours of riding in a helicopter just to get there. We had gone under the cover of Social service officers, sent by the government to transfer chosen children to a supposedly safer and more well-equipped facility. I had received news that a son of Yunho's estranged father was here.
During that time, Outposts were limited in number and Yunho was only about eleven, yet he already flourished in the organization, being the best in nearly all aspects and areas. Naturally, with the older brother being the best we had, the younger brother would be searched for as well. 
Most of the children there were under the strictest security, cared for by a large number of nurses. The orphanage acted as a school, playground and home for them, so exposure to the outside world was extremely limited. Children here weren't all orphans, but most had been saved from society in the direst of conditions and had hence been purposefully secluded from the public eye.
I had landed on the roof of the mansion with my father and two other agents. Because of my young age, I was chosen to mingle with the children, point out possible future Outposts as my father met with the Head Nurse and welfareofficers to discuss and look through the files of the children.
I was in the garden, a vast and beautiful expense of decorated land, watching the children play numerous games that held no interest to me. Some were playing tag, some were in the sandbox, some were at the playground. The personalities of these children were warped, changed from going through difficulties people their age weren't supposed to go through.
I could see some of them had violent tendencies, some were painfully quiet. Others had the maniacal twinkle in their eye that hinted that their humanity was gone, and not ever coming back. I distanced myself from those children. 
Right now, two and a half year old Jaejoong was causing up a storm in Nine, his violent nature and masochistic tendencies keeping Yoona and her attendants beyond busy. I didn't need another one.
One though, one small child caught my eye. He was sitting alone, his back to me as he faced a rose bush, running a finger softly through the petals. I came to him, kneeling by his side.
The child looked up at me through bangs that were screaming for a trim, hair getting caught in his lashes each time he blinked. It made his bangs twitch and move constantly, something I found distracting yet strangely amusing.
"Hey," I had greeted.
"Hi." He looked up at me, a smile gracing his face.
"What are you doing?" I asked him.
"Looking at me."
"Looking at you? What do you mean?"
He had giggled then, his perfectly straight teeth showing. "Yes, you're looking at me. That's what you're doing."
I let a smile show on my lips. The boy showed great intellect, something Nine always needed in their Outposts.
"That may be what I'm doing, but what are *you* doing?"
"I told you! I'm looking at myself."
"How does that work?" The boy was a mere child, but was already speaking in winding riddles.
"This," he said, pointing at one of the roses with a delicate finger. "This is me."
"You are a rose," I said.
"Yes. My name. It's Rose."
"Changmin," I translated, clarifying with him.
"Yes," he beamed, proud of either himself or at me for being able to guess his name.
"Changmin. Why aren't you playing with the other kids?"
Changmin looked up at me, as if evaluating the sincerity of my question, before he looked around and leaned towards me, whispering in such a way that I had to bend down to catch it.
"Because," he said, "I'm supposed to act like I'm angry."
"Why?" I asked.
"Shh!" he had reprimanded me, a finger to his lips. "Because today a nurse pinched my friend who was naughty and I really liked that nurse but I know my friend didn't do anything wrong so I cried and said she should say sorry but she didn't! So I'm trying to act like I'm mad at her."
Deception. It was a trait we had to ingrain to the Outposts, though this boy flourished in it.
"What is your birth name, Changmin?" I asked.
"Han," he replied. "Han Changmin."
I kept my face stoic, though my insides were doing otherwise. This was the one. The one we were searching for. This was the other son of Yunho's father, the half brother of our best Outpost.
It should've been obvious, really. The boy had Yunho's nose and high cheekbones, as well as his intellect. We found him.
"Do you want to come with me, Changmin?" 
Changmin looked up, his eyes hidden behind his bangs. "Where." It wasn't a question. It was a demand, a statement. To be heeded without question.
"Away. Away from here. Come with me, and you'll be stronger, more powerful." It was the way with words that usually pulled the children forward. Boys were usually lulled by power, having their ingrained images of Superman and Batman and other superheroes that were beyond fiction. Being subject to a cruel world already helped them try to eradicate their weakness.
For the first time, Changmin ran a hand through his hair, pushing his bangs back to look me properly in the eye, and what I saw stunned me. 
Intelligent eyes, filled with such depths of knowledge and experience that he seemed much older than he was.
He was silent, his eyes fully focused on me as he searched my face for something. The frown on his face marred his once cheerful expression, before he looked away, his focus back to his flowers.
"No," was his answer, soft yet stern.
"No?" I wasn't really expecting that.
"I don't want to become stronger. Or powerful-er."
"Why not?" 
"Because," Changmin faltered, tapping his chin thoughtfully. He turned to face me, pointing to one of the roses. "What's your name?"
I faltered for a bit. Should I say Kangta? "Chil Hyun," I answered.
"Chil Hyun hyung, do you like this rose?"
I took a glance at the rose, blood red and in full bloom. "I suppose so. Yes."
"What do you do if you like it?"
"I would pick it, and keep it for myself." Even as I answered, I understood where Changmin was getting at. Such intellect from someone so young.
"You're strong, and have the power to pick it as and when you wish. Even if the flower doesn't want you to pick it, you still can because you're stronger than her. But if you pick the flower, the flower will die."
I nodded, understanding thoroughly. "Is that why you're not picking the roses?"
"Roses have thorns. They're strong too. They want to live and that's why they'll fight back. Thorns are ouchie," he explained, pointing a cut finger in my face. "You don't mess with Changmins and expect yourself to get away with it." He finished his sentence with a mischievous grin, one that made an uncharacteristic chuckle escape my lips.
"You're very clever," I said.
"I know. The nurses tell me that too."
"What grade are you in?"
"Second."
"You're very small for an eight year old."
Changmin huffed indignantly at me. "I am six years and eight months. I'm in advanced class."
"I see. Why are you here, Changmin?"
"Because my family is dead."
"And what happened to them?"
"A car crash. But I can't remember. So I can't really say."
"So why do you want to stay here? Why don't you want to come with me?"
"Because. I need to protect my little brothers and sisters here."
"And what do you protect them from?"
"Monsters."
"Monsters?"
"Yeah. In here." He tapped his temple, implying the mind. If I said I was impressed, I was thrown now. He really was Yunho's brother.
"And who protects you from your monsters?"
Changmin was silent, biting his lip in consternation. I could tell that he had trouble lying, and perhaps he truly had no one. His eyes seemed to shine with the threat of tears, and I unwittingly placed a hand on the small of his back. 
"Don't cry. I'll protect you."
"You will?" Changmin asked, looking up at me as a tear escaped his left eye. A hint of joy crossed his features, before it was gone. "But I don't want to come with you. How can you protect me if you're not by my side?"
I was left silent momentarily at the question, before I took out the iron Dragon-shaped ring winding around my right ring finger. It was a family heirloom, the eyes of the Dragon made of rubies, shining its warning to anyone who dared cross the family. "Dragons protect you during the night," I said, as I placed it on his open palm. "Mine protects you always."
His eyes widened, staring at the ring in his hand before he looked up at me, face full of concern. "But who'll protect you from *your* monsters?"
"You will," I answered without really thinking.
"Me?" he was incredulous, probably wondering how he could keep up with such a heavy task. 
"Yes. Think of me always, so the Dragon can find me and work both ways. Then we'll both be protected."
Changmin's mouth dropped open in wonder as he scampered forward to give me a hug. "Thank you, hyung! Can I show this to my friends?"
I nodded my permission as Changmin ran to the other children, his supposed anger at a particular nurse being forgotten.
He was Yunho's brother, and at the same time, he wasn't.
Yunho and Changmin were polar opposites, Changmin gifted with compassion while Yunho was filled with loyalty. Both amazing traits to be bestowed upon children, and yet both turned out to be different. 
Perhaps the cold exterior Yunho constantly portrayed was a reaction to his circumstances. He was not raised from the best parent, nor did he have the best childhood. But then again, so was Changmin. And yet their differences couldn't be more obvious.
It would be a waste to not grab Changmin as an Outpost because his innate qualities were a rarity. If trained and molded, he could shine next to Yunho as the best pair of siblings in the organization.
But just like the rose, perhaps power wasn't something to be bestowed upon him.
I got up to leave and mingle with the other children. Some of them showed traits of being a worthy Outpost, some of them not far from their own mental breakdown. Despite the number of children I met with, none of them were even close to Changmin. The child was never far from my mind, even after I mentally chose the children who I would bring back to Nine.
It was my agenda to always, always ask permission from the children before they followed me. I wanted them to know that whatever it is that they chose to take, it would only turn to reflect on them. And perhaps it was my final favour towards them as they entered the harsh world of Nine.
They had to know that power was not given to them. It was earned.
I joined my father after mentally picking seven names, four girls and three boys, each of them, it seemed, willing to give up what they had now for a taste of power. Changmin's name was not on my mental list.
Along with my father, I looked through the files of the seven children, checking their background, searching through illnesses, anything that had to be checked was meticulously done so. Two names were taken from the list, both girls, after it was shown that both families were extensively trying to reclaim custody of the girls.
"And what of the child we came for, Chil Hyun?" my father asked me after we reevaluated the list of names. "Where is Han Changmin?"
"He shows reluctance to join us. I cannot force upon a child the life of an Outpost. It is but a choice, Father." My father, though past his sixties, commanded the utmost respect, even from his own family. He was never someone to let your guard down around.
"How is the child?" 
"Brilliant," I answered truthfully. "Han Changmin shows great power of intellect, compassion as well as a basic foundation in the art of deceit. He is Yunho's brother without a doubt."
"And what made you not want to bring him in?" Father's tone was curious instead of commanding.
"He is too 'right', Father. The sort of person who will bend over backwards for his friends, who lets emotions override his actions, moving with his heart rather than his head. It is a risk that might not pay off."
"Such precise evaluation from meeting someone for a short period of time," Father mused, a small smile on his lips. I made no move to return it, hoping Father would follow my decision. "Very well. The child shall stay. I will talk to the Head Nurse once more to collect the children." I felt a weight off my chest, relieved that my decision held through. "Gather the chosen children, Chil Hyun. We shall make a move quickly."
I nodded, standing to leave. 

I was standing on the roof of the orphanage once more, atop the helipad, the five children, around me. All of them were under eight and I had the youngest in my arms, effectively latched to my hip as she clung on to my neck. The youngest after Choi Sulli, who was four, was Jung Krystal, a year older. She had held on to my free hand, expression sombre as she her thumb. She was parting with her sister who was four years older than her, though both seemed to be unaffected by the farewell, not even saying goodbye to each other.
Lee Taemin was the same age as Krystal and nearly had the same personality; cold, unfeeling, yet quietly brilliant. Choi Minho was athletic, tall for a six year old and observant, his words strangely poetic. The other was Lee Joon, a year older yet significantly smaller. He was ferociously arrogant and head strong, already picking up a fight with the silent Minho. I stared as the oldest two scampered around the helipad, Lee Joon screaming bloody murder while Minho laughed softly to himself.
Pretty soon, most of these personalities and traits would be gone, replaced by a cold and stoic calm Father would want the Outposts to have. 
The wind suddenly picked up ferociously, and I looked up to see the helicopter coming down for a landing. Lee Joon and Choi Minho screamed, running to me to hide behind my legs as Lee Taemin and Choi Sulli started crying. 
The helicopter was a massive one, used often for search and rescue. It would be the only one large enough to take four adults and five children without the threat of tipping over. 
I felt tugging at my legs and looked down to see three children wrapped around them, scared that they'd be blown away from the strong winds.
The helicopter landed safely, the winds already dying down as it did so. I looked behind me to see the agents and my father, as well as several nurses who came to bid the children farewell.
After the farewells were over and done with, the children were more than excited to ride the helicopter, except Sulli and Krystal, both of them still attached to me. Sulli protested me putting her down even for an instant, and Krystal, though she never said a word, was adamant on staying by my side.
I let the other agents and the rest of the children ride before us, till it was only Father, Sulli, Krystal and I on the pad, as well as the few nurses who waited for us to leave. Words were exchanged between Father and the nurses. I paid no attention to them, simply waiting for him to board.
And then a voice, a small but insistent voice called for me.
"Wait! Wait! Hyung, wait!"
I turned around to see Changmin running towards me, waving his hand in the air for attention. I crouched down to his height, just in time for him to stop right in front of me, panting from the effort.
"Hello, Changmin. Did you have a change of heart?"
He shook his head, bangs flying wildly as he did so. "I wanted to say bye-bye."
"Really now?"
He nodded, before he yelped, hair falling into his eye as stopped to rub it. I moved to sweep his bangs to the side as he blinked several times before grinning at me. It was a unique loop-sided smile, one that made one of his eyes larger than the other.
"Goodbye, Changmin. Don't forget me," I said as a parting, running a hand through his hair.
"Of course I won't forget you! I have to remember you every day and every night so the monsters won't come and get you!" He lurched forward suddenly, wrapping his hands around my neck. "I promise I'll protect you, Chil Hyun hyung."
"As I," I answered, a hand on the small of his back in a soft hug. 
He parted the hug to give me another of his unique smiles, a small hand resting on my forearm. "Bye-bye, Chil Hyun hyung."
"Bye-bye," I answered. "Run along now, lest you be swept away by the winds."
I stood and turned to leave, entering the helicopter with the two children in tow. I turned around a final time to see Changmin waving enthusiastically at me. I could see my ring on his right thumb, still too large to fit snuggly. 

I opened my eyes. My meeting with Changmin over a decade ago still rang strong in my mind. I had heard nothing from the child since then and today, he suddenly appears. 

It was a bad coincidence, one of the worst, that Changmin was the one Shim Siwon had adopted in complete secrecy. I greatly regretted not looking deeper into his background, though I knew that even if I had, I would've found nothing.

Had my father been alive now, I had little doubt that he wouldn't hesitate to put an end to Changmin. Just like Yoona, his motto was easily to not let business mix with the personal. Emotions would get you nowhere, only as a hindrance to what was important.

I keyed in the code that put me to a direct line to my secretary, asking her to call Yoona to my office straight away. She hung up half a second after my command, making sure that there was no other request I had. I disliked hearing unnecessary voices so she had trained herself to not answer my commands, to only take heed without question. It was easier for me that way.

Yoona entered several minutes later, her face blank, emotions perfectly hidden behind her mask of beauty. But I was her husband. Perfect or not, seeing through Yoona's blank mask was not impossible.

"Is it anger, Yoona?" I asked her, my eyes unfocused as I stared into the distance.

"No," she answered, taking a seat on the armchair across the desk between us. 

"Then what is it?"

She kept her silence, making me look up. 

"What is it, Yoona?"

She only shook her head, and I left it at that. When she was ready, she would speak her mind. She was always that way.

"What are you going to do now?" she asked me.

"Father would've wanted me to kill them."

"You are not your father," her voice was strong, almost condescending at my one remark.

"And what would you propose I do?"

"You are my husband, as well as the Head of this organization. It is your word that is law, Kangta, not mine."

I nodded, both in understanding and agreement. She was right. This was mine. "The original plan was to kill either one or both of the brothers. But with them already in our palm we can use that to our advantage. We would only need one of them, the other would be unnecessary. Perhaps the other could serve as a warning to Renegade, that we take no chances, no matter who the suspect might be."

"I'd take a wild guess as to who you'd get rid off."

I felt my hands clenching into fists at her words as I eyed her coldly. "I could make it Changmin. I could easily grab a gun and pull the trigger to his head."
"But you wouldn't," she countered calmly. "As much as you say you would, I know you wouldn't."

Swiftly, I took my cz95 from the catch on my hip, pointing the muzzle at her. "Do you dare challenge my authority? I do not own a weakness. If Changmin is a liability, I will eradicate him. Just like I will eradicate you if you turn into one as well."

Yoona stared down the barrel of the gun, her face cool and barely readable. "Would you shoot me? You may have the power to do it, but do you have the heart?"

I sat frozen in my seat, a strong sense of deja vu filling me. I blinked, forcing the memories away, my grip on the gun faltering.

"You are not your father. Do not try to be," Yoona's words were soft, despite the threat of me blowing her brain out right then.

I sighed, placing the gun on the desk. She was right. I couldn't shoot her. I wasn't strong enough. And in all honesty, I hoped to never reach that sort of strength. Yoona was my pillar as much as I was hers. To be without her would be pointless.

"Will you really kill the Karam child?" she asked me, already dropping from the previous topic.

"I would need a legitimate threat over someone as powerful as Shim Siwon."

"The idea that his very children are held against their will in an organization such as this should drive him crazy."

"Not crazy enough," I answered, "He knows that we are under the government, similar to he. He would expect leniency from us, especially with the fact that Karam is still legally a minor. We need to show him that we are not to be dealt with. I would crush him in my own palm if I could."

"Kangta." Her tone made look up at her, her distaste at my choice of words evident. "Siwon's guilt has yet to proven. Though his affliations with Renegade may be strong, it may not necessarily link them to him. Remember that he too is under the government."

I merely nodded. Of course she had valid points, but I was adamant. What more an easier way to get someone's attention than to kill someone they held dear?

Yoona sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose softly, a habit, I knew, she acquired from me.

"Why do I get the feeling you are not listening to me? Perhaps we would need the opinions of the Outposts on this."

"Is Jaejoong not the classmate of Karam?"

"Yes," she answered, "But this is Jaejoong we are talking about. He wouldn't hesitate to kill the person sitting right next to him if given the right incentive. Emotional attachment from Jaejoong is not something very common. And even if he has somehow grown a liking to the brothers, I trust that he is smart enough to look beyond his emotions to the importanceof the mission."

"I don't trust his judgement, nor Yoochun's. They've known the two brothers long enough to side with them. I'd much rather discuss this with Yunho and Junsu if you are still adamant on it."

Yoona nodded along with my decision. "I see your point."

"Call them inside then," I said immediately. "I wish to get this over and done with."

Yoochun POV

I stared at Changmin from where I stood, not really sure what to do. My eyes kept drifting between him and Yunho, who was leaning against the wall perpendicular to me. Yunho's eyes were blank, whatever it is that was on his mind unaffecting his flawless mask. The only indication I could see that something was troubling him was his unfocused gaze, seeing him concentrating intensely. 

Once, Yunho had caught my eye and I suppose the question in my eyes was evident as he shook his head, denying permission. My eyes traveled to Changmin, seeing him sitting on the infirmary bed, his elbows resting on his knees, his gaze aimed straight to the ground. I couldn't even see his eyes by the way his bangs hung over them. It was a loud enough signal that he needed the time to think, alone.

The mixture of emotions I was feeling right now was astounding. Confusion, curiousity and admittedly, a hint of betrayal. Who was he? Who was Changmin, the supposed Han Changmin that Kangta was so close to? What was their relationship with each other?

Did Changmin... purposefully *hide* this fact from us?

Why?

A million thoughts swirled around me, but none reached my tongue.

Though my desire to know was practically killing me, something told me that Changmin was as confused as I was. But I needed to at least hear his own side of the story before I reached my own conclusion. I deserved this, at least, didn't I?

"Changmin," I started. I faltered, however. I didn't know what to say. My tongue was strangely heavy, the desire to know somehow stopping me. What could I say?

The ensuing silence was heavy, painfully so. I wanted to reach out to him, yet at the same time, I wanted to leave him. Anger and sympathy are two of the most conflicting emotions one can feel and right now the dominant two raging in my heart was them.

"I didn't know."

The one sentence made me look up. A fleeting moment of eye contact between me and Yunho, before both our eyes landed on Changmin. His gaze was still directed to the floor, position unchanged.

"I didn't know that he... that Chil Hyun hyung..." he had difficulty speaking, almost as if he had yet to come to terms with the facts. "That Chil Hyun hyung was... was Kangta."

It had been a long time since anyone had called Kangta by that name.

Chil Hyun was Kangta's birth name. It was the name his father used to call him by, before he was killed by Renegade agents. Kangta's father was also the first Head of Nine to pass down the title to his next of kin, hence Chil Hyun was given the title Han Kangta, in order to hide their relation. No one else called him Chil Hyun. Not even Yoona.

Changmin finally looked up at us, and I could do see the fear and desperation swimming in his tired eyes. "I didn't know. Please believe me. I didn't know. If I did, I'd have--"

"What?" Yunho interrupted him. "What would you have done?"

Changmin was silenced, obviously taken aback, and unable to answer. I felt the weird urge to stand up for Changmin yet support Yunho. So I merely stayed quiet.

"I --," Changmin tried, "I... I don't know." Changmin hid his face between his hands, obviously troubled. I glanced up to Yunho. His arms were crossed and had his eyes closed, as if he was either trying to suppress his anger or was in deep thought. With Yunho, you could never be sure which it was.

"What's his relation to you, Changmin?" I asked gently, finally letting myself go.

"No one," Changmin answered in a whispered mumble. "I met him once when I was about six, when I was back in the orphanage after the death of my first foster family. That was it. I've never seen him since."

At the words, my eyes immediately started scanning Changmin's body language to check whether he was lying. He was looking straight at me, his arms unmoving by his side, his eyes open with honesty. He wasn't lying.

I looked up to Yunho. I knew Changmin was hiding something. He may not be lying but he wasn't telling us the full story either. There was no way Kangta and Changmin's reaction after not seeing each other for fifteen years showed that they were nobody to the other. The look in Yunho's eyes showed he shared the same thoughts as mine. He gave me a sideways glance, before his eyes were on Changmin. 

This was going to complicate things by a lot.

I looked up at the feel of a presence, seeing Yoona at the doorway. 

"Yunho, Kangta wishes to speak to you." 

Yunho pushed himself off the wall, brushing past her and walking away immediately. Yoona looked up at me in turn.

"Yoochun. Check on Jaejoong." I got the implication that she wanted to be alone with Changmin, so I left without question.

Yoona POV

Yoochun slipped by me, leaving me alone with Changmin in the room. For once, I let my ice mask slip. Changmin wasn't an Outpost, nor was he an employee under Nine. He didn't need the cold facade I put on to remind them of my status in this organization.

"Changmin."

He looked up at me. 

For a while after Kangta returned from the orphanage with the five new children, I had kept tabs on Han Changmin. Yes, I knew of Kangta's experience with him. I was his wife since high school. We near never kept secrets from each other. There was a microchip in the ring Kangta had given him that I used to track Changmin from time to time.

I was doubtful of the child's refusal to join Nine, thinking that someone was pulling the strings on him. I tracked him till he was in sixth grade, meeting him once, under the pretense of being a substitute school nurse. Changmin was a regular at the school clinic, from what I'd learn from the principal. Bruises would always pop up on his skinny frame.

His behavior then was that of an extreme introvert, always silent, even when spoken to. He was strangely never bullied, so for a while, I thought the bruises were from his training. But after deeper investigation, no organization had contacted him, nor his then current foster family. I had left Changmin then, not hearing from him ever since.

Changmin's eyes were hollow as he looked up at me. It was haunting, looking at eyes so similar to that of an Outpost despite him not even being one. His eyes had seen more than any normal person should, and it reflected into his soul.

"May I speak with you for a few moments?" I let a smile cross my lips. There was no need to scare someone who was already so scared.

Changmin's eyes evaluated me, staring deep into mine for a moment before he nodded. I wonder what he saw in them.

He coughed as I came closer. It was raspy and loud. His lungs were wet, I realised. Asthma?

Slowly, I took a seat by his side, leaving a significant gap between us.

"Do you know who I am?" At the shake of his head, I continued. "I am Yoona. Vice-Head of Nine. Wife of Kangta."

"Did you know Kangta before I did?"

"Yes," I answered. I was surprised at the off-topic question, but hid it perfectly. "I have known Kangta since we were children."

"Has he...always been this way?"

I blinked in surprise. I couldn't help it. "What do you mean?"

Changmin looked up at me again, his eyes searching mine, before he shook his head. Once again I was curious as to what he saw. 

"Nothing," Changmin answered. "Nothing."

Silence lapsed between us, before I broke it. "I have several questions that I need to ask you."

"If it's about Kangta, I really --"
"No," I interrupted him. "It is not. It is about your current adoptive father. Seeing that you are the elder to Karam and have lived with Siwon for a longer period of time, I assume you know him better."

I took his silence as consent as I carried on.

"Siwon is under suspicion of several charges of which I cannot discuss with you. I need information about his relationship with you, to clarify several matters."

"Siwon is a good person. I don't understand how anyone could accuse him of anything. He's saved me from my hell hole. He has never raised a hand nor voice to me, unlike my previous foster father. Whatever you think Siwon did, he *didn't* do it."

"How long have you been under his care?" I asked anyway.

"Three years."

"Has he ever discussed with you of his work life?"

"No. Never."

"How often is he away? Perhaps out of a week."

"A week? Five days. I know his jobscope. He's a very busy man."

I nodded in understanding. "How is Siwon in bringing you up?"

"I don't get what you mean."

"Anything. Anything you can tell me about how Siwon brings both you and Karam up. Anything that might seem out of the ordinary, anything at all. I need you to tell me anything you can think of, Changmin."

Immediately, his face froze in a hard set, quickly setting defense.

"Why?"

"We need the information to confirm or deny his affliations. What you say might just prove his innocence."

Changmin seemed unwilling, reluctant and doubtful of my words. I placed a hand on his, squeezing it gently.

"Changmin," I said, "Before any other agents get their hands on you to try and force the information from you with unconventional methods, I implore you to tell me what you know of Siwon."

Changmin glanced down at my hand, before slowly pulling his away. I retracted my hand to my lap, before sensing Changmin's eyes on me, searching for mine.

I met them, and once again I could see Changmin read me. His eyes were ferocious, knowing what to search for. I maintained contact with composure. He had to see my sincerity.

"Siwon taught me that," he said, eyes still on me.

I blinked in surprised. 

Changmin looked away. "How to read people. How to see their soul in their eyes, how to see their emotions in their actions and their thoughts in their words. He put me in martial arts classes to create an outlet for my frustration and anger. I'm a black belt in three different forms of self-defense. I used to have weekly sessions with a therapist, along with Karam. Siwon has round the clock guards for both of us, six at any given time. I guess you could say he influenced me into what I'm pursuing in university now; IT and engineering. Karam's still in grade school so I'm not so sure of him."

He lapsed into silence, marking the end.

"And what of daily life? Does he set a schedule you two strictly follow?"

Changmin shook his head. "Siwon isn't that controlling. We have a chef, several housemaids and a driver because he doesn't want us doing chores nor going around unsupervised. He's rarely home, but when he is, he brings us truckloads of gifts. Karam and I are pretty self-disciplined where we know not to cause trouble, so we never have any conflicts."

I nodded. I had heard enough to make my own assumption. I stood and made my way to leave. "I would recommend you rest. I have asked no one else to enter this room but the doctors and they themselves have finished their evaluation. There is a guard to make sure no one goes in, or out. Stay in this room, Changmin, unless someone personally comes to retrieve you. I cannot guarantee the safety of an outsider in this place, but as long as you stay within this room, you should be fine."

I turned to leave.
"Wait. Siwon --"

"I cannot promise you anything, nor can I disclose anything. Like I said, it would be better if you just rest. Kangta will call you when he is ready."

At the name, Changmin's eyes widened. It was almost impossible to assume that the two had met only once, more than fifteen years ago, yet were acting as close as real brothers.

I knocked once on the door, knowing the guard outside was looking through the peephole that showed the inside instead of the outside to see who it was.
There was the sound of unlocking before the door was opened. I turned around final time to see Changmin's eyes on me. It was with surprise as I realised what the look was.

Changmin was adapting. He may not have realised it, but the look in his eyes was enough to confirm it. Whatever it was he was going through, his mind and body were slowly morphing and changing in order to survive.

Yunho POV

I headed towards Kangta's office, surprised to see Junsu already standing outside. Neither of us acknowledged the other, but I could feel him standing behind me as I knocked on the door and entered.

Kangta was staring out the window as we entered and we took our places to stand before him, hands clasped behind our backs.

“I'm pretty sure you know why I called you.”

I did, but I kept mum.

He finally turned around to face us. 

I saw something in his eyes. What was it? Was it...hesitancy?

"We have with us now both sons of Shim Siwon. Because of the power Siwon holds and the risks involved in this, I'm asking from you two something I usually do not ask of. An opinion."

I felt the surprise in my heart, but swallowed it before it showed on my face.

“What do you propose we do with the sons?”

“Kill them,” Junsu answered almost immediately. There is not even a hint of doubt in his voice. “Shim Siwon needs to be aware we are not an organization he can take lightly. Right now the fact that we are under the same governance as he will make him assume we will be lenient. Show him we hold more power than he thinks."

“Too rash,” I said in turn. Kangta looks up at me. “Siwon treasures his two sons dearly. I'm sure that there is not much he won't do to be assured of their safety. Once we kill them, the risk of him not only having anything to lose for backlash, but also retaliating to us rises. Keeping them here, with assurance that they will be unharmed if he works with us would be a safer option, don't you think? The amount of guards he had in his mansion alone would be a loud sign to how much he treasures those two boys. And he wasn't even home that night."

I looked up to meet Kangta in the eye.

“Siwon is still only a suspect. If he is proven innocent, it would not only be a waste of life, but also a mar on our reputation.”

"We've never been wrong about our suspects," Junsu said, turning to me.

"There will be a first time for everything," I answered coolly, not bothering to turn to him.

I saw Kangta considering both our words, his eyes unfocused and far off as he weighed both options.

"And what of our identities?" he asked, "Anonymity is essential for our organization to run smoothly."

I kept quiet. If Changmin or Karam made our faces or organization public, that would be the end of us. Metaphorically and literally.

“Permiss me to speak on personal opinion,” I said, glancing up at Kangta.

He nodded fractionally.

“I don't think Changmin would do that.”

I stare at him, gauging his reaction. He knew what I implied.

Kangta nodded, understanding.

"Junsu, you may leave now. Yunho shall stay."

Junsu left without question, shutting the door softly behind him.

Kangta was quiet again, heading towards his desk to sit down. He signalled to me, and I walk forward and take the seat across from him. 

"I think you know whose opinion I will follow," he murmured, elbows against the desk, his fingers knitted together.

I nodded. Mine, obviously.

"You have questions."

Again, I nodded. Would he indulge me?

“They will be answered in due time. For now, your focus will be on Changmin and Karam. You shall be solely in charge of both brothers. I do not want the others involved."

"I understand."

It was logical, of course. Yoochun and Jaejoong were friends with both Karam and Changmin, while Junsu was mostly just finding a reason to kill them.

“You understand what has to be done?”

“You want me to use the brothers against Renegade. Against Siwon, if possible.”

Kangta nodded. “To the best of your capacity.”

"I understand," I said, getting up to leave.

I headed towards the door, a hand on the door knob when Kangta called me again.

“Yunho.”

I froze.

At the unexpected silence, I glanced at him.

“We need both in one piece. Don't go overboard.”

I nodded, leaving the room.

Yoona entered as I left. We brushed shoulders. I make no move of acknowledgement and neither does she, as the door shuts between us.

I headed down to the infirmary, knowing Yoochun and Jaejoong would be there.

“How is he?” I asked as I entered the ward. 

Both turn at the sound of my voice, Jaejoong expectantly bounding towards me in greeting.

“Yunnieeeee!"

He lept, and I caught him. The light in his eyes made my heart leap, the same way it always has the past four years. He wrapped his arms around my neck, his cheek against mine.

“I missed you!” he greeted, pushing away to smile brightly at me. 

“You just saw me a few hours ago,” I tease.

“Not enough,” he giggled.

I kissed his forehead in reply. Jaejoong was easily the light of my dark life. None could compare.

“He's fine,” Yoochun answers. 

I looked up at him, knowing he was answering my original question.

“A Fixer gave him a shot. He should be good as new by the time he wakes up.”

“That's good,” I murmured as Jaejoong slipped off me.

I came to the bedside, staring at Karam's slumbering face. You couldn't deny how similar Jaejoong and Karam looked. It was almost eery.

“What are we going to do once he wakes up?” Jaejoong asked, arms wrapped around my waist as he stares at his sleeping classmate. He looked up at me, chin resting against my chest. “We're not gonna kill him.....right?”

"No," I answered, a hand against the top of his head in comfort.

Yoochun looked up in surprise, though he said nothing.

"Kangta has agreed to use them as blackmail. For now, they're safe."

“Did it have anything to do with...” Yoochun started.

“Probably,” I answer.

“What is he to him?”

“I don't know. I doubt he'll tell.” Kangta was as secretive as secretive went. But still, one couldn't help but wonder, couldn't he?

A man as stoic, as heartless and as cold as Kangta opening up like that. Seeing a weakness that was Changmin. I had never expected that.

“I don't think he'll kill Changmin,” I murmured.

“What about his brother?” Yoochun asked.

“What is he to him?” I answered, looking up at him. The question was rhetorical. No way Karam would ever matter to Kangta. He might as well be dust to him.

“So will we kill him?” Jaejoong asked, a ferocious pout on his lips. “Yunnie, I don't want to kill him. Karam is nice.”

“We won't,” I soothed, running a hand up and down his back. “I'll make sure of it.”

I looked up to see Yoochun staring at me, a look in his eyes. I knew that look. I ignored it, choosing to look away.

“So what will we do now?” Jaejoong asked.

“For now, we go on with our mission. We still have a long list of suspects to go through.”

“What about Karammie and Oppa?”

“They'll be safe here, Jaejoong,” I said.

“Promise?”

I tilted my head. Promises weren't something we made in the line of work.

“To the best of my capacity.”

And he smiled me, a smile bright enough to chase away any demons in my head.

=============

We headed home.

Yoochun was silent as he rode shotgun by my side. I knew he was unhappy that we had to leave Changmin and his brother back at Nine, but it is much better than the alternative, which was killing them. I knew he knew that too, so I leave him with his silence.

Jaejoong sat alone at the back, humming to himself as he drew patterns on his drawing block. He'd been quick to put the whole fiasco of what happened the past few days behind him, and I was glad. We still had the mission to complete.

There was a long list of suspects to extensively go through and we needed our minds on it.

I just about pull up in our driveway when our phones ring. Different chimes sound as a message simultaneously reached our phones and I know from that alone that it is from Nine.

I sliped out my phone as Yoochun and Jaejoong do.

*We regret to inform that Outpost #19, Han Joon and Outpost #22, Han Sulli, have died from injuries sustained in Mission no 152a. All Outposts are to gather for briefing immediately.*

I stared blankly at the phone, looking up to see Jaejoong still staring at the screen while Yoochun had already pocketed his phone.

“It's been a long time since any of us have died,” Yoochun murmured.

By a long time, he really means six months. Outposts did not live that long. We were designed for quality, not sustainability. 

I backed up on the driveway, making our way back to Nine again.

“Do you ever think of how long we'll live?” Yoochun's question suddenly broke the silence of the car ride. He is staring out the window, an elbow propped against the window sill. I worried for Yoochun sometimes. He was too much of an optimist for it to be healthy for an Outpost.

“No,” I answered, automatically peering at Jaejoong through the front view mirror. Jaejoong sensed my eyes on him and he looked up, quickly catching on to the conversation.

“We'll die when it's time to die, Chunnie hyung,” he hummed.

I kept quiet. Jaejoong was right.

“No one lives forever, Yoochun,” I said, stepping on the accelerator. “So it is pointless to worry.”

We reached Nine again, and I parked the car in the open air carpark this time, pulling my coat around me at the suddenly harsh weather. Jaejoong scuttled me, arms raised to be carried. I heeded to him.

The wind picked up as we headed inside, a sure sign of an incoming storm.

I dropped Jaejoong as we headed towards the lift, going down towards the Outposts training grounds. Jaejoong ruffled his hair, shaking his head wildly to get the snow off his hair.

He slipped his hand in mine, his other reaching for Yoochun's.

Yoochun was completely quiet, and I know it is mostly because Changmin and Karam's situation was bothering him. I had already put them at the back of my mind.

They were alive and safe. That was enough.

“Stop worrying, Yoochun.”

He looked up at me, surprised.

“Pardon?”

“They're safe. Wasn't that what you wanted?”

We reach the Outpost training ground, being buzzed through as we automatically head for the main auditorium. Funerals were held here, as well as mass briefings. It felt slightly weird heading there. We hadn't headed for the place in months.

“Kangta is known to change his mind,” Yoochun quietly replies, softly enough that only I hear it. “And doesn't it bother you; Kangta's reaction to Changmin?”

I do not reply, as we enter the crowd of Outposts and guards and Fixers carefully lined and positioned in the spacious hall. 

Outposts arranged in rows of ten, surrounded by heavily armed guards and handfuls Fixers scattered around them.

Nine was never stupid. Though the odds were minuscule and highly unlikely, the guards here were always trained to counter a revolution. The day the Outposts would fight back.

An unlikely prophecy.

Jaejoong, Yoochun and I easily slip into the formation; both on either side of me. We stand with our hands clasped behind our back, feet slightly apart.

We wait, completely unmoving.

Ten minutes later and still no one in the room had made barely a whisper of a sound, none of us moving, as had been dutifully trained. 

The twin doors behind us suddenly open. We all know better than to turn around.

Footsteps sound, purposefully loud and obvious. The sound of something being pushed on wheels also echoed around the hall.

Finally, coming into our peripheral view, Krystal and Mir lead the short prosession to head towards the very front, two coffins being wheeled in by some guards behind them. Yoona and Kangta join them at the very back.

Krystal and Mir reach the front first, turning around to face the crowd, as the coffins are quietly wheeled and positioned behind them. Both look winded.

Krystal, who is known to be frighteningly stoic, looks dazed, her eyes wide and unfocused. It is almost frightening to see such a change in her usually composed form. Beside her, Mir is quiet, looking extremely traumatised. Known to be just as rambunctious as Jaejoong, it is weird to see him so static. 

Their reactions make me curious to know how I myself would react to Death. 

Yoona comes to stand by Mir's side. Kangta stood in front of them, facing us all.

“Today we lost two more of our family,” he starts, voice booming frighteningly loud in the vast space. “Han Joon and Han Sulli were killed today in the line of battle. A long, withstanding battle against the Free Army.”

The Free Army was a creation of Renegade, a civilian-run terrorist organization funded on stolen taxes and disillusioned ideology. It was gaining more power over the years, with many staged protests and terrorist attacks frequenting the city. It was a reason why Kangta was pushing so hard to shut Renegade; a product of the government itself, down. The more it grew, the more unstable the country would become.

My eyes stare at the front. They wander away from Kangta, to Mir, who is steadfastly biting his lip. His eyes are glazed over, but not from a drug overdose. Beside him, Krystal does not even move, still looking just as shocked and winded.

“In an attempt to infiltrate a suspected Free Army headquarters, Han Joon and Han Sulli died from a bomb blast coming from the headquarters itself. The scum that are the Free Army, that are Renegade, decided that they would rather blow their headquarters off the face of the Earth, killing not only two of our family, but nearly fifty of their own, than get caught. They do not even value whom they call brothers and sisters. Sulli and Joon sacrificed themselves for the safety of this country, for its citizens, for their brothers and sisters, and for that, we are indebted."

I wonder if anyone believed the words coming out his mouth.

They were just words; empty words and sometimes I wonder if Kangta ever even meant them. Kangta turns around, facing the coffins as Mir, Krystal and Yoona move to the side to let everyone see a full view of the closed coffins. I doubted they would open them.

A bomb blast would mean that their bodies would be blown to shreds. I would much rather keep the image of the last time I saw them in my head than see them once more.

Kangta bows towards the coffins, slowly followed by Yoona, Krystal and Mir, before the rest of us, everyone else in the room, bow in the same direction.

Kangta is the first to straighten, as the rest follow him. We are all quiet, as a mark of respect to the dead, as well as fear to the acknowledgement of Kangta's presence in the room. No one makes a move.

He turns around to face us once more.

“I hope all of you see this as a lesson, as well as motivation. Never underestimate the power of your enemy. Let us all step up our game in defeating Renegade.”

He ends the speech there, walking forward and leaving the auditorium. The twin doors slam close behind him, and yet still none of us make a move.
Yoona steps forward, standing where Kangta just stood.

“Those who wish to say their final goodbyes to Sulli and Joon," she quietly says, "may do so for the next fifteen minutes. Those who do not are to disperse immediately.”

As expected, the Fixers are the first to leave the room. 

Fixers never developed emotional attachments here. They were here to heal, fix and repair. We were objects in their eyes. Should one die, there would always be another to replace them. Something so replaceable would never grow any significance to them.

Slowly, each Outpost stepped to the front. Each one bows individually to both coffins, before leaving. Yoochun is the final one to bow, taking a moment to place a hand on each coffin before he steps back.

I stand unmoving at the back, watching everything. Jaejoong runs to the front as the hall starts to empty out, not to bow, but to run to Yoona, holding her hand in greeting.

Yoona, as usual, entertains his touches, but does not do any more to acknowledge his presence.

I cross my arms as I watch Yoona turn to the coffins then, going to each to gently run her hand along the painted white wood. Her left hand still holds Jaejoong's.

She quietly and respectfully kisses the wood; pressing her fingertips against her lips before resting them upon the coffins.

I feel no warmth at the sight. The cold brutality of Yoona was something I instinctively saw each time I looked at her, and the sight of her kissing some coffins wouldn't be changing it.

She takes a few steps back then, pulling Jaejoong with her, to let Krystal and Mir pay their respects.

No one moves for a few minutes, and in the silence, I noticed that Junsu was never here. Had he not received the alert?

Gingerly, Mir stepped forward, his footsteps unwilling and hesitant as he heads towards the coffins. Before he made it though, he suddenly falls to his knees, the sound of the impact echoing loudly.

Everyone turns to him, frozen as we wonder what is wrong with him. And then I see his shoulders shake.

The sound of the suppressed sobs finally reaches my ears, and I feel a painful constriction in my chest.

I was suddenly no longer curious about reacting to Death.

Yoochun, always the empathetic one, kneels by his side, a hand against the small of Mir's back in comfort.

Only twenty, Mir was one of the youngest Outposts, and yet he'd been here from the time Jaejoong was born. He'd grown with his teammates, as Kangta rarely formed Outposts into groups and when he did, their formation never shifted. They would stick together till the end.

Ten years together.

Ten years no more, I correct myself, as Jaejoong only stared at Mir, stricken and frightened by his breakdown. Krystal is still frozen, the same expression on her face.

I wonder if she was even aware of her surroundings. The state she was stuck in seemed to be taking over her.

A sob, loud and pained, suddenly breaks through the silence, as Krystal suddenly curls into herself, a piercing scream escaping her lithe form.

I take a step back.

Normally stoic, it is shocking and unnerving to see her so weak.

Was this how people normally reacted to death?

I turn around and leave the hall.

Yoochun POV

I looked up just in time to see Yunho exit the hall, shutting the twin doors quietly behind him. I guess the funeral procession had bored him. Turning back to Krystal, I continuously rubbed my hand up and down Mir's back.

She was a wreck. I knew the full force of what had happened had hit her with brute totality and she was going to take way longer to calm down than Mir would. 

She fell to the floor on her knees then, arms wrapped around herself. I saw Yoona, her arm draped over Jaejoong's shoulder as he wrapped himself around her waist in fright, nod at a guard then through my peripheral vision. She was signalling to him.

Several of the guards suddenly come forward, towards Krystal, who suddenly started screaming.

“I DON'T WANT TO DIE. I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!!”

She kicked one in the face, another she elbowed in the neck.

“I CAN'T DIE YET. I WON'T!!!”

Jaejoong started crying then, truly frightened.

The remaining guards managed to tackle her to the floor, one of them kneeing her between the shoulder blades while twisting her arms behind her back to immobilize her.

Krystal's screaming escalated, as she struggled wildly against them.

I heard a loud pop that is surely the sound of joint breaking from socket, but still Krystal does not stop.

“Induce her before she hurts herself,” Yoona commanded. 

Krystal was soon shot with a dose of anesthesia, the dose large enough to knock her out within seconds.

There was silence all around us, as Krystal's heaving turned into slow, calmer breaths and she relaxed. I suddenly feel a movement, and turn my head to see Mir getting up and running towards her. He slipped through the guards, violently pushing them all away so none are near to Krystal, before he knelt in front of her. I could still hear his sobbing.

I saw him place a hand on Krystal's shoulder, shaking it ever so slightly. His hands curl into fists when she doesn't wake, and then I see him start panting. His chest rises and falls fiercely and his body tenses up.

I slowly rose, taking a step back. My hand reached out to Jaejoong, signalling him towards me and he comes running. I immediately collect him in my arms.

Mir had a temper; a violently wild, drug-boosted temper that many Outposts showed when put in extremely dangerous situations. The rampageswere designed to help us think, move and act faster without having empathy cloud our view. We would be the ultimate killing machines capable of wiping out a whole field of soldiers, for exactly fifteen minutes.

Fifteen minutes may not seem like long, but they were more than enough time to cause all the damage in the world.

As expected, Mir suddenly moved, fast enough that he is a blur of movement, but slow enough for my surgically modified eyes to see him produce a foot long dagger from his belt, twirling it like a baton, before he positioned it hilt first, blade facing the ground.

And then he pounced.

Mir was a screaming act of blurry movement, throwing himself towards the guards as he plunged the dagger into any inch of unprotected skin he saw. It was mostly necks and faces and wrists that were his target, his hold on the blade increasing the possible force he could use as he wields the weapon.
The guards, though trained to counter opposition, would never be ready for a full-on Outpost in rampage.

I saw group after group of guards trying to counter and contain Mir. Some position their guns at him, but Mir's speed was not something easy to target.
Mir brought down guard after guard.

Five. Eight. Thirteen. Twenty.

Twelve minutes later and the body count kept rising.

Mir was, by this time, soaked with blood. Rather than slowing down, he was accelerating, his energy condensed into last bursts of speed to annihilate those he saw as the enemy.

Yoona made no move to stop him. She stared with her usual cold indifference. It would be irrelevant to try, either. Outpost rampages weren't designed to be stoppable.

Fourteen minutes and Mir was starting to show signs of exhaustion. One of the last surviving guards managed to shoot him in the thigh and he fell, landing on all fours as Mir whirls around and threw his dagger, aimed right at the guard in question. It landed smack in the middle of his face, and the guard fell over.

Fourteen and a half minutes. Mir stayed on the ground, panting heavily. No guard approached him. Just because he was unarmed, didn't mean he wasn't any less dangerous.

Jaejoong suddenly squirmed, and I let him down.

He unexpectedly ran to Mir, reaching a halt just in front of him. Mir slowly looked up, and I see the light has not yet returned to his eyes. Mir was still dangerous.

I wondered what Jaejoong was going to do.

Slowly, he knelt, till he is on eye level with Mir. I see them stare at each other, the hard look still in Mir's eyes. Jaejoong gingerly reached out, before he places a hand on Mir's cheek.

With his sleeve, Jaejoong wiped at the blood covering Mir's face. Mir only stared, unmoving. I hear Jaejoong whisper something.

“You're okay.”

And then the light returned in Mir's eyes. His face evened out. His body relaxed. He dropped his head, facing the ground.

I saw his shoulders shake, his body shiver and then hear him sob again, this time a lot softer than before.

“Take them to a fixer for therapy.”

I looked up to Yoona, immediately seeing a guard approaching Mir from behind and stabbing him on the neck with a syringe. He immediately collapsed, wiped out and exhausted from his rampage. 

Jaejoong rose then, and came to me. His sweater, hands and face are splattered with blood, which I was sure was neither his or Mir's.

“You okay, Jae Jae?” I asked, as the remaining guards take Mir and Krystal away. Both are slung over shoulders like sacks of potatoes, Mir leaving a dripping trail of blood as they walked away.

I cupped his face in my hands, rubbing at the blood splatter on his cheek.

“Jae Jae is okay,” he hummed, looking up at me through his thick bangs. “But Mimi hyung and Krissy noona aren't.”

He pouted then, lower lip jutting as his eyes water.

“Chunnie hyung and Yunnie can't die, okay? Jae Jae will get really wild if you die. Jae Jae will kill everyone then Jae Jae will kill himself.”

I took his hand then, choosing to hurriedly exit the auditorium as the Cleaners and other guards filed in. Jaejoong broke out in a half run as I pull him along.

I don't stop until we reach the lift, and as the elevator doors close before us, I spin around to wrap him in a tight hug, pressing his small frame against mine before I let go.

“Don't say that. Yunnie will get really sad if you kill yourself.”

“I don't want to live in a world without you two,” he whined, his arms still wrapped around my waist.

I blink blankly. 

I had never thought of living. Of course suicide was never something I considered, but I had always lived day by day. If I went through today, then I would go through tomorrow. 

I'd never thought of my life ten, five or even a year down the line. Who's to say I would even live that long.

I'd come to accept that I was going to live and die in this organization. There would be no outside world where I'd have a desk job or be an engineer or painter and start a family of my own. I would never, and could never, be normal.

And neither was I going to live a normal life either.

I smile down at Jaejoong, pinching his cheeks in tease.

“Then let's try our best to live forever, alright?”

Jaejoong sees me smile, and of course, breaks out in a grin.

“Okay.”

Yunho POV

A chair was thrown in my direction and I ducked. 

It slammed into the wall behind me, denting the cement wall as the metal chair then falls to the ground.

This was like Jaejoong all over again.

I stare at the person in question, at Changmin, who was half awake and half drugged to his toes.

A Fixer had administered a sleeping pill for him, not knowing Changmin needed pills that were a lot stronger to fall into a dreamless sleep. He'd woken completely delirious, screaming at people to get away and I was sure that he'd had a nightmare.

Unfortunately the sleeping pill was still in full effect, and Changmin was experiencing a live, illusionary, waking nightmare as we speak.

“Get. Away!”

Changmin stumbled back as a Fixer advanced forward. He hit a wall, and in all his adrenaline-fueled nightmare, picked up the nearest thing not wedged to the ground, which was in fact a table.

He picked it up, putting it over his head and threw it, the table slamming right into the Fixer, who fell to the floor. 

I signal for potent inhalant anesthesia, knowing it was the drug Dr Kim used to put him to sleep. It would take some time to be wheeled in, and right now the only focus was Changmin's safety. The Fixers could drop dead for all I cared.

I advanced forward, cautiously with my hands raised, trying to show that I meant no harm. I was about ten feet away from him, looking him in the eye, before I finally noticed.

Changmin's eyes were unfocused. They were glazed over from the effect of the drugs and hence he couldn't see. Changmin was still in his nightmare. So how was he moving?

My foot hits a pencil on the ground. It rolls and the sound makes Changmin flinch. He rests a hand on the wall behind him, moving to the side to avoid whatever he thought was coming.

He was moving on sound.

Amazing.

I pick a broken piece of wood up, hurling it across the room. It hits the wall, falling to the ground and Changmin whips his head around to the direction of the sound. 

He screams again, but moves away.

“Changmin,” I call. My voice makes him flinch again, but he stills. With a hand still against the wall, Changmin focuses on the sound of my voice.
“Calm down.”

I creep forward, soundless, as had always been trained.

“It's okay. Things will be okay."

I take another step forward and Changmin tilts his head. He could still hear me.

He stepped back.

I hear the anesthesia being wheeled in and signal to wait, without turning around.

“Changmin.”

He winces, knowing I was near.

“Get away from me,” he breathes. “I don't want you touching me. I don't want you near me.”

From my peripheral vision, I see the anesthetic being wheeled and positioned beside the bed. Perfect.

One more step forward.

Changmin hears it again, and he moves to the side.

Away from me, but closer to the bed.

That was it. Near enough.

I run forward, using my momentum and speed to grab him by his neck and then hurl him against the bed.

The screaming and thrashing starts again, and Changmin starts to claw at my face in a hazy panic.

I kneel over him, his chest between my legs as I use them to immobilize him. I quickly signal for the oxygen mask with my free hand, my other still wrapped securely around Changmin's neck.

“Let me go!” he screams, hands wrapped around my wrist.

The oxygen mask is quickly passed to me and I press it against Changmin's face.

"No, no, NO!" he screams, starting to thrash again as he whips his head from side to side.

My hand moves from his neck to his jaw, holding it secure so he cannot move. I see tears start to roll down his face but I pay them no heed.

Changmin finally calms down, starting to pant from exhaustion. His breath fogs up the transparent oxygen mask and his eyes begin to close.

He stops struggling completely and I deem it safe, so I get off him, my hand still holding the mask in place.

“Get the restrainers,” I say, looking up at the Fixer by the door. “Make sure the mask stays on.”

He leaves, and I am left momentarily alone with Changmin. I turn to him, surprised when I see him gazing at me through half-lidded eyes.

“Yunho hyung,” he calls, ever so softly.

And then they close, and he is fully asleep.

Guards file in right then, and I get off the bed. They position Changmin against the bed before they strap him down, buckling the restrainers against his chest and knees, his wrists and ankles. A Fixer straps the oxygen mask to his face.

As long as the mask stayed on his face, Changmin would stay asleep. He was safest when he was asleep.

The guards file out, as the Fixers plug an IV drip and an EKG to him. I silently watch from the corner, watching them all take tests on him, doing the standard medical checkups doctors did.

The door opens once more, and to my surprise, Kangta walks in. He signals for the Fixers to leave, and they all do, immediately.

There is silence between us, as Kangta stands at the foot of the bed, looking down at Changmin.

“Report.”

“The sleeping pills the Fixers administered weren't strong enough. Changmin woke up but his mind was still asleep. He was dreaming. He attacked the Fixers, so we had to put him down."

Kangta nods, understanding.

“Permiss me to speak on personal opinion.”

“Granted."

“I don't think it's safe for Changmin to be here. He is on a routine of prescription pills and is unstable. The longer we keep him here the more he'll show withdrawal symptoms. Once they are over, he will revert to a more unstable state.”

“How do you know of this?”

“He has the same doctor as Jaejoong. He spoke to me about Changmin.”

Kangta nods, and I see him concocting a plan in his head.

“How long do you need to make Siwon's blackmail work?"

“A week, at most.”

“Then Changmin shall stay asleep for a week.”

“What of later?”

He is silent, staring at Changmin.

“If Siwon's innocence is affirmed, then both brothers will be returned through hostage exchange.”

Kangta's leniency was starting to be unnerving. Nine had never taken a hostage and to think he'd let them go Scott-free made it equally strange.

I was glad that Changmin and his brother would be safe but I somehow knew that there lives after this would never be the same. They would be tied to this organization, no matter what the outcome.

“And if it isn't?”

Silence once more, before Kangta turns around to face me. I instinctively look away.

I wonder if I'd talked too far.

“I know you have questions about my decision, and I know what they are.”

I look up at him, my cold face giving nothing away.

“Fifteen years ago, Changmin was an Outpost recruit. My late father personally wanted him to be in the organization."

I school my emotions, hiding the confusion I felt. The late Head of Nine never usually got involved in Outpost recruits. He was there to only train us and watch over our progress.

Was that Changmin's significance?

“Changmin was the younger brother of one of our own Outposts. That particular Outpost was one of the best we had, so naturally, my father thought that it would be fitting to have him among our ranks. We seeked him out and we found him. True enough, Changmin displayed spectacular qualities, ones that could make him among the best."

Kangta turns to face Changmin again, and I stare at the back of his head. There was still something he wasn't telling me, I was sure of it.

“But his loudest quality was empathy, and he refused, choosing to stay with his friends in the orphanage.”

Kangta is silent once more. I have a feeling it is not the end of the tale, rather he is considering whether he should tell me the .

“I only met Changmin for a few hours but the impact he had on me was great. I agreed to let him go, successfully influencing my father to do so too.”

Again, he is quiet, as if he considers whether to continue his tale.

“He is your brother, Yunho. You share the same father. It was why my father wanted to go so far just to reach him. He is your only surviving sibling."

I cannot hide it this time.

My eyes widen and I feel my legs quake. I take a step back, leaning against the wall behind me.

Changmin; my brother?

I had a brother? I had family?

Kangta turns around to face me once more. I know he sees the weakness in my face.

But I cannot hide it. Not this time.

“Now you understand why I cannot kill him. He is yours, and he was my father's wish. I will not let anyone harm a hair on that boy's head, even if I have to kill someone else in the process.”

Kangta takes leave then, pausing at the door.

“I ask you hasten your plans. We are in danger of an attack as long as Renegade is a danger to us.”

He leaves, shutting the door behind him.

Yoochun POV

“Chunnie hyung?”

I looked up from my textbook, unplugging the earpiece from my ears. Jaejoong looked back at me from the coffee table, his head resting against his own open book.

“Yes, Jae Jae?”

“Lets go see Oppa and Karam onii-san.”

“Have you finished your homework?” I countered, quirking an eyebrow at him.

I was answered with a pout, as Jaejoong takes the pen he'd strategically placed behind his ear.

He was quiet for five minutes, before he looked up at me again.

“Once I'm done, can we?”

“Yes, sure, Jae Jae.”

I don't even need to see the Cheshire grin on his face as he proceeded to continue with his homework.

Jaejoong was done within a half hour, twelve pages of advanced calculus cleared. He got every question right, as usual and is as excitable as a rabid bunny as we head out.

“I wonder where Yunho went,” I said aloud, as we headed for the lift.

“Maybe he went for a mission,” Jaejoong offered. “Kangta Appa did call him for a meeting, didn't he?”

I pale at his words. That was right. Kangta had called for his audience. What if it was something bad? What if they'd caught on to his fever? What if Kangta was punishing him for something?

My heartbeat quickened as all the possibilities run through my head. Was he okay?

The lift arrived, and we stepped in.

Jaejoong started swinging his hand enclasped in mine. I think he purposefully wanted to distract me. Perhaps he could sense the thoughts running in my head. I smile down at him, and he offers me a warm one in return.

“Lets go see Mimi hyung and Krissy noona as well," he suggested.

“Sure,” I reply, “Anything's fine.”

“I hope they're okay.”

“You mean Krystal and Mir?”

“And Oppa and Karam onii-san too.” He suddenly looked up at me, an intelligent look in his eyes. “I hope Yunnie is okay too.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, caught by surprise. Yunho looked fine earlier. Was it something I missed?

“Something is going on in Yunnie's here,” he explained, tapping his temple. 

“What is?” Jaejoong and Yunho were known to have that type of relationship. They were so close that they could sense the other in distress. It was both cool and creepy.

Jaejoong only shrugged. “I guess we'll know when we see him,” he grinned.

We reach our intended floor and exit the lift. We headed towards Changmin's ward, a winding and twisting maze of corridors before we reach it.

Two guards stand outside the door, both holding guns and standing at attention.

In excitement, Jaejoong breaks out in a run.

The door of the ward suddenly opened, and much to my surprise, Kangta exits. He looked at us. Jaejoong's running comes to a sudden stop. I halt.

What was he doing in there? He wasn't doing anything to Changmin......was he?

But Changmin was someone significant to him. Kangta wouldn't hurt him then, right?

A million thoughts race through my head in the two seconds that we stand there.

We are frozen in the hallway, staring at each other, until Kangta breaks the contact with a nod and keeps walking. 

I nod back in respect, and we pass by each other. It makes me feel like I want to run into the room to check on Changmin.

Jaejoong and I just about enter the ward when the guards suddenly stop us. Jaejoong looks up blankly at me.

“Let them in. They're authorised.”

The both of us turn back to see Kangta walking away.

That kind of makes me all the more worried.

We enter to see Changmin asleep on the bed, straps against him.

It would've been worrying had we not entered to see something even more worrying.

Yunho is staring dazed at the ground, leaning against the wall behind him, arms crossed over his chest. He looks up as we enter.

And offers a small, soft smile.

The act makes my heart race. Something was most definitely wrong. Yunho doesn't smile like that; never in greeting, never at the first moment we see him. Never so easily.

His arms drop to the side, slipping into his pockets. In terms of body language, it is a loud and worrisome sign.

Yunho was distressed and disturbed. He was lowering his defences, at the same time curling into himself.

Jaejoong runs to him, and Yunho immediately envelopes him in a hug without prompt. Jaejoong wraps his arms around Yunho's neck, hugging him long and tight, before he lets go and places a hand against Yunho's cheek.

They exchange a soft, chaste kiss, as Jaejoong tries to transfer his comfort to him.

Yunho looks up at me, and for the first time in a very, very long time, I see a raw emotion in Yunho's eyes.

Uncertainty.

“What did he do,” I demand.

My mind is in an instinctive whir, as I can only assume Kangta did something serious to affect Yunho this badly. What did he do? Did he say something? Were we under threat?

I am strangely protective of my usually protective leader.

Yunho shakes his head as he straightens. His arms cross over his chest again, being defensive.

“Nothing. He didn't do anything.”

“Then what's bothering you?” I ask, heading towards him. “I'm concerned, Yunho. Something is obviously not right.”

Yunho meets my eyes for a moment, and I somehow had a feeling he was trying to convey something. But I couldn't catch it.

He is quiet, only staring straight at me.

“It's okay, Yunnie,” Jaejoong shushes, a hand on Yunho's waist. “We're not going to force you. You can tell us when you're ready.”

I know that the words comfort Yunho more than he would ever care to tell. He eases up again, and I see the trademark cold  indifference creep back into his skillfully emotionless eyes. The ice mask he wears on his face slips back on, and even his posture improves as he drops his arms to the side.

I sigh. I could never be on Jaejoong's level of comfort. The boy brought out sides of people no one knew.

“He's right,” I say, forcefully softening my tone. Yunho looks up at me. “There's no rush.”

I give him a small smile, and Yunho returns it.

Now *that* was Yunho's smile.

*******************************************

Yes, I'm alive. :'D

First thing's first, I really do have to apologize for such a long hiatus. A year! Who would've thought!

My love for writing has not (and hopefully will neverrrrr) diminish, and as much as I want to just sit in front of the screen and write my story out to my heart's content.... I can't. Reality is something we all have to face some day.

Anyway, how have you all been? I got accepted into law school (woohoo!!!) and am currently in my first semester. You know, law school is pretty fun! The things you learn and the experiences you gain are amazing.

I swear to God, I've been trying to update my fics since forever, but I had the biggest writer's block I ever had and it nearly killed me and I was so desperate to write that I ended up creating two new fics that by now are several hundred pages long because I simply had no flow for my three current stories whatsoever. If that's ain't sad, I don't know what is!!

Anyhoo, as per usual, thank you sooo much for reading. If you've been awaiting an update for me, I sincerely apologize for taking so long. Oh and of course thanks so much for staying with me! Hope the update is too your liking :)

Till the next time we meet!