Yixing watched the rain trickle down his office window as he absently tapped the end of his pen against the desk. His black coffee had become cold and bitter and his computer screen had dimmed to the screensaver before completely giving up. Yixing hated days like this; grey skies and thunderstorms only made him remember. Worse than that, it was like stepping into a time machine and returning to the day he wished he could forget the most. 

    ‘It’s been four months,’ Yixing said out loud, bringing himself back to the real world, ‘I promise I’ll end this soon.’ He turned his computer back on, instantly greeted by pictures of his case’s victims - Luhan among them. He felt his heart freeze at the sight of the painfully familiar face, ‘Four months,’ he vowed again. He had already looked at these photos more than a million times but for some reason he couldn’t stop, he felt like he missing something (something more than just his partner).

    ‘Detective Zhang,’ Chief Suho’s voice drew the man’s attention away from his computer. 

    Yixing stood quickly and bowed, ‘Chief Suho, what is it?’ He greeted politely.

    The short man gave a weary smile, ‘Detective Kim Jongdae; the new forensic psychologist, has arrived. You should come meet him… and then maybe you should go home.’

    ‘They found a new psychologist?’ Yixing’s voice was tired. He knew that they would eventually find a replacement for Luhan, but he had hoped it would have taken longer. 

    Suho gave a small nod, ‘He’s confirmed that he wants to stay here. Will you greet him or not? Either way I’m sending you home.’

    ‘I’ll come,’ Yixing flashed a dimple briefly as he unplugged his USB and shoved it into his pocket along with his phone. He followed Suho into the room where his best friend used to work, the one right next door to Yixing’s own. The two had taken to yelling through the wall whenever they needed each other because according to Luhan walking was too hard; he needed Yixing far too often to get up and go to his room every time. 

     This time Luhan wasn’t waiting in the grey walled room. A shorter, black haired man with a curly mouth was standing beside the desk, looking at it as if he were looking at a dead cat.

    Suho cleared his throat, ‘Detective Kim, your partner is here to greet you,’ he announced hopefully.

    Jongdae spun around quickly, bowing as soon as he was facing the two men, “Hello, I’m Kim Jongdae. I look forward to working with you,” the cheery man spoke.

    Yixing bowed back, ‘Hello, I am Zhang Yixing,’ he said, not sounding nearly half as alert as Jongdae. “Have you been briefed on the case?” 

    Suho interrupted, ‘He hasn’t. Actually I’ve been thinking of calling together the team and going over the case with fresh eyes and open minds tomorrow.’

    ‘The team?’ Yixing gaped, ‘You mean Kyungsoo, Kai…’

    ‘And the rest. Briefing will start at lunch, make sure you’re here,’ Suho ordered. ‘You too, Jongdae. Our psychologist was the backbone of the team, let’s hope you can do just as well,’ Suho smiled as he clasped the detectives shoulder’s and then made his exit.

    ‘You know…’ Chen said, startling Yixing.

    ‘Know what?’ The taller man inquired, as he attempted to wipe the fatigue out of his eyes.

    ‘I don’t think you should be driving tonight. You look like you’re about to fall asleep standing up,’ Chen said softly as he adjusted his bag strap. 

    Yixing gave a weak smile, ‘I’ll be fine, I don’t live too far away. I’ll be leaving then,’ he said with a bow. 

    Chen bowed back, ‘Please be careful. Goodnight.’

    ‘Goodnight,’ Yixing hummed as he walked out the door. 

    That night Yixing didn’t go straight home. Instead he turned left when he should have turned right and then left again. He pulled into a driveway of overgrown grass and trudged across the muddy lawn. He didn’t bother knocking, there wouldn’t be an answer even if he did. ‘Sehun, I’m here,’ he called as he entered the kitchen and flicked on the lights. His heart sunk as he saw the food he had left two days ago was still untouched. By the looks of it it seemed the boy hadn’t even been drinking water. Yixing ruffled his hair anxiously as he pulled the fridge open and pulled out two bottles of water. It was long passed midnight but Yixing knew Sehun was still awake; the boy never slept, or ate, or talked. In fact he hardly even breathed. 

    Sehun was in Luhan’s room, curled up in his older brother’s blankets like a child. In a way Sehun was still just a child, and he needed his older brother to be by his side - not six feet beneath the ground in a grave everyone was too heartbroken to visit. 

    ‘Sehun-ah, drink with me,’ Yixing nudged the boy gently, trying to ignore the scent of Luhan. Instead of sitting on the bed Yixing sat on the ground, Sehun slowly sliding to the floor beside him. ‘Here,’ Yixing unscrewed the lid and passed the bottle to the frail boy.

    Sehun let his head tilt forward in appreciation. Immediately Yixing realised Sehun was wearing Luhan’s police department jacket (the one that had been a bit too big for the older male, but seemed to fit Sehun perfectly). Yixing let a smile form on his lips, then let it fade again as his memories with Luhan came flooding back. He could only imagine the emptiness Sehun would be feeling right now, Luhan was the boys one and only guardian. They’d relied on each other since childhood and Luhan’s one weakness was that he was too nice. He would have given anything to prevent Sehun from feeling the pain he felt now. 

    ‘Sehun,what happened to your fingertips?’ Yixing asked after a minute of silence.

    Sehun pointed towards a pile of matches and a photo of a face that was undoubtedly Luhan’s. 

    Yixing grimaced, ‘you can’t burn away the pain.’ His words sounded husky and strained, ‘No one can.’

    The boy hunched over and clutched his knees to his chest, nodding. He had been trying to burn that one photo for months in hopes that if he could burn it then he could finally forget. Forget what it was like to have a brother, forget what it was like to be happy, forget Luhan. He had told himself that he just wasn’t ready to forget yet. Yixing wanted to tell him that forgetting wasn’t the right thing to do.

    ‘Umm… A new psychologist arrived today,’ Yixing reported. ‘He seems nice…”

    ‘I had a dream,’ Sehun interrupted quietly, so quietly that Yixing thought he might have imagined it - but then he continued; ‘I had a dream… but then I woke up… and now I can’t remember it.’

    Yixing’s head hung low as he heard the unasked question; “When will I forget?” 

    ‘You’re crying again,’ Sehun whispered. 

    Yixing pressed his fingers to his eyes, realising the boy was right. He hadn’t cried in months… since the last time Sehun talked. ‘And you’re talking again,’ Yixing breathed. ‘I’d nearly forgotten what your voice sounded like,’ he said, then instantly regretted it.

    Sehun dropped his water, ‘Why can’t I forget?’ the young boy sobbed out loud this time. Tears  formed paths down his cheeks but he caught them before they could sully Luhan’s jacket.

    Yixing quickly pulled the boy into a hug, ignoring the water pooling around them, ‘I didn’t forget,’ he the boys hair. ‘I couldn’t even if I wanted to.’