Chapter 7 – LET ME HEAR YOUR VOICE

Chaerin’s POV

Jealous? Insecure? Heartbroken? I don’t know how to describe what I’m feeling right now. Maybe it’s jealousy? Because I never got the change to go out with him. If he didn’t saw me there eating at the street he wouldn’t even bother to go out with me. Minzy is right, I should be thanking her. Maybe I should eat at the street more often so that he would treat me for food again. Insecure, maybe? That girl with him is beautiful. Well, who wouldn’t like pretty girls, right? Who wouldn’t date a pretty girl? Heartbroken? I don’t know. I know he doesn’t like me. I know he has no feelings for me. But, to see him with someone else in front of me? Why do I have to witness it before my eyes? I know he doesn’t want me. There’s no need for me to see how much he doesn’t want me. It’s fine if he doesn’t talk to me when he’s around. It’s fine that he doesn’t treat me as his wife. But, why does he have to act like he’s concern? Why does he have to provide the things that I need. He gives me everything, every material thing that a girl would wish to have. Designer clothes, bags, shoes, and even a car. He pays for my school expenses, he provides for my monthly allowance. There’s no need for him to give those things. I know from the very start that he doesn’t like me. But he do things that make me believe and hope that he may actually care for me. When mom and dad are not home, he would call me and ask me if I’m okay. When the weather is not fine, he would call me and ask me where I am. He would call me and say ‘good luck’ the night before my exam. He would send me a gift and give me a call greeting me a ‘happy birthday’. It’s okay if he would completely ignore me. But why does he have to do those things? He’s making me hopeful. He makes me hope that one day he will come home and say that he likes me, that he loves me. I hate him so much for doing that and I hate myself for believing in that.

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“Dad, Mom, which of you will be my sponsor for the graduation?” I asked my in-laws. We’re here at the dining table and we just finished our dinner.

“Your sponsor? Shouldn’t it be Jiyong?” asked Mom.

“Yeah, he should be the one sponsoring you.” Said Dad. Jiyong oppa? I don’t think so.

“I don’t think he will do that.” I replied.

“Huh? Why not? He’s your husband. Have you mentioned about that to him? You should inform him so he could make himself free that day.” Dad said.

“Yeah, you know how busy Jiyong is.” Mom continued.

“But.. I really want it to be either of the two of you.” I said. It should be either of them. There’s no way Jiyong will cancel his schedule for me.

“We appreciate that Chaerinnie, I also wanted to be your sponsor and so with your Dad, but Jiyong should be the one to do that. And besides, Jiyong will be mad if we will be the one sponsoring you and not him.” Mom said smiling at me. I didn’t say anything. I just smiled at them. Will he really be mad? I don’t think so.

********

It’s raining cats and dogs outside. I leaned on the glass window as I watch the raindrops fall. I wish I could go outside and enjoy the pouring rain. But I can’t. I catch a cold easily. I don’t like being sick especially its aftermath, the dizziness and everything. Besides, I don’t like being scolded by him. He’s scary.

I made my way on my bed and lay down. I’m not yet sleepy. I could continue reading. I stood up and took the book on my study table when my phone rings. It’s him.

[Chaerin.] I hate him. I swear I hate him. But why is it that hearing his voice makes everything fine? It makes all of the hate vanish. And I hate him so much for it.

“Oppa..”

[Where are you?]

“I’m in my room.”

[Good.] He said. I know he would call. I wish the weather is bad every day so that he would call me every day and ask where I am. I wish every day’s my birthday so that every day he would call and greet me. I wish everyday is my exam so that every night he would call me and say ‘good luck’. I wish…

“…”

[…]

“…” What now? Aish. Should I ask him about my graduation? But what if he’s busy? He should be busy so that either Mom or Dad will sponsor me. But, I hope he’s not busy that day. I actually want him to be the one sponsoring me. Aish. What now Chaerin? Ask him. Tss.

[Chaerin?]

“Huh?”

[Are you still there?]

“Y-yeah. I’m still here.”

[I said go to sleep now.]

“O-okay.”

[Good. I’m hanging up.]

“Wait! Oppa.”

[What?]

“Uhm.. is it okay if…”

[…]

“Is it okay? If…”

[What?]

“My graduation will be next month, soon.”

[Yeah, I know.]

“Is it okay… if…” Go Chaerin just say it. Aish.

[What?] He sound irritated. Go Chaerin, just say it or he’ll hang up on you.

“On my graduation, is it okay if.. if you’ll be.. uhm.. is it-“

[Okay.]

“Huh?”

[Okay.]

“What do you mean ‘okay’?”

[Okay, I’ll be your sponsor.]

“What?”

[I said I’ll be sponsoring you.]

“Really? It’s really okay with you?” I exclaimed. Oh my gosh, he will be sponsoring me.

[Yeah.]

“Are you sure? Aren’t you busy that day?”

[It won’t take the whole day. It’s fine.]

“Really? Is it really okay with you? It’s okay if you can’t, I mean if you have a very important appointment that day then you don’t have to cancel it. It’s fine. I’ll just ask Mom or Dad.” Oh my gosh, he said it’s okay with him. He’ll be sponsoring me. Isn’t that great? ^____^

[Chaerin.]

“Yes, oppa?”

[Do you really want me to sponsor you or not?]

“Of course I want to! I- I mean.. yeah, I.. I want to.”

[Then fine, I’ll be sponsoring you. Now go to sleep.]

“Okay.” I smiled.

[Wait, Chaerin.]

“Yes, oppa?”

[I want you to drive your own car by next week.]

“Okay.” I beamed. I’m so happy. He’ll be sponsoring me. ^____^

[Okay. Go to sleep now.]

“Okay. Goodnight oppa.” I beamed and he hangs up. Aish. He didn’t even say ‘goodnight’. But it’s okay. He’ll be the one sponsoring me on my graduation. I should tell Minzy about it. And, he wants me to drive my own car by next week. Oh my- WHAT?!! He wants me to.. He wants me to drive my own car? By next week? Waaahhh. I can’t. I can’t do that. I can’t drive. Doesn’t he know that I don’t want to learn how to drive because I can’t? I’m afraid. But.. He wants me to drive my own car by next week. And, I already said yes. What am I going to do now? If I can’t drive my own car by next week, he’ll get mad at me. And if he’ll get mad at me, he would decline being my sponsor. I want him to be my sponsor. Heol. What am I going to do now? TT_TT Jiyong... why are you so bossy? "OTL

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