I woke up because I felt like my brain and chest felt like they could explode. I was in pain; I didn’t even know how to describe it, it was just excruciating.  In front of me, my brother fell asleep at the end of the bed. I wanted to get out of bed and walk around, but I wasn’t sure if I can. My back didn’t even feel like moving. What if my legs don’t want to work, what if I fall? Should I just call the nurse and asked them what happened?

 

I rang the assistant bell and a nurse came in within seconds. I asked her what happened and what exactly did the surgeon do during the surgery. She told me everything in details. That’s a lot of procedure, but I understand most of it because I watch so much doctor dramas. I thanked her for telling me and I reached for my phone so I can watch more shows.

 

I blame my dad for having such short arms because I can’t reach my phone. I was at the edge of the bed, just a little more, I could fall off. Suddenly, a handsome boy took me by the arms and placed me into the center of the bed. I looked at him, confused. He then took my phone and handed it to me.

I didn’t know who this stranger was.

“I’m sorry, but who are you?” I asked him.

“You don’t know who I am?”

My brother woke up at that moment and dragged the handsome boy outside to discuss something.

 

I always wonder what Eric discusses about. Why can’t he tell me? Am I like the only person who can’t know what’s happening around me?

 

Only my brother came back in after a moment.

“What is happening? Why can’t you tell me the secrets you’re telling other people?”

I was starting to become desperate.

Fine, if no one tells me what is happening, I guess I will have to regain my memories myself then.

I took the most recent diary and started to read it.

 

 

June 5, 2014

I didn’t have that much time to write in my book because of school. I was busy and it was almost finals so I had so review all the materials. But school is almost over. Time passes so fast and it already has been a year. With a blink of an eye, I am almost of Junior. It is exactly 2 more weeks until I go to summer vacation. I am anticipating because I haven't gone to vacation for 6 years. I am excited to go to Hong Kong and Korea.

 

June 18, 2014

There is one more day left until I go to Asia. I am EXCITED. I still haven't packed my luggage and I will be doing that on the last minute. I heard that many former juniors were doing the summer assignment at the last minute and they had to pull up an all-nighter because they didn't know that there was a lot to do for the assignment.

 

June 19, 2014

So right now, its 6:24 PM in Los Angeles. And I am on the airplane right now going to Hong Kong. I am so bored, its killing me. It has been 6 hours already but then there is another 6.5 hours until we actually arrive at the airport. I was wearing glasses and my eyes got tired because I was watching M Countdown and other shows on the airplane. I set my glasses on my lap with nothing on top. But for some reason, my glasses cracked right in the middle. So, basically, I have to go on vacation, blind. I can’t see. And it is horrible.... but I can’t do anything about it. I guess I gotta squint. (:

 

June 20, 2014

I haven't written that much because I was so tired. Arrived at Hong Kong around 5:15 PM and the weather was already beating me up. It was super humid and hot. I slept a lot during the airplane ride, which was good, but then it was horrible at the same time because I had to sleep upright sitting and it was stiff and plus, it was a 12 hour flight.

 

June 21, 2014

I had 5 hours of sleep. My brain was tired, but my body wasn't. I woke up at 3 AM (Hong Kong time) and was shocked. But because I was a bit tired, I fell asleep again and slept for another 4 hours. My mom woke up around the same time as me and she started to complain about my dad. I agreed with her but I was tired of her ranting because she makes it boring, so I turned on the TV and watched dramas until she was ready to go out onto the streets. The weather is always weird in Asia. It’s always super hot in the summer, but no matter how hot it is, it still rains, which it did in my case. I was excited because after arriving to Hong Kong for one day, my mom and I were getting ready to go to Korea,  which I waited for a long time.

 

June 22, 2014

I had 3 hours of sleep during the airplane ride to Busan, Korea. My mom was cheap and it was raining in both cities, she wouldn't even buy an umbrella. We were soaking wet everyday and it was gross because we didn't have time to wash our clothes and had to re-wear the sweaty and disgusting rainwater clothes. Ew. After arriving, we went to an 8 floor mall in Busan and it was pretty interesting. Another thing that sucked is that on the same day we arrived in Busan, Korea, we had to fly to Jeju Island.

 

June 23, 2014

We arrived to Jeju Island. We walked a lot. I'm talking about 10 miles today. Everybody was tired. We went to the World Cup Stadium and there was a small restaurant there, so we all ate there.

 

August 24, 2014

Eric came back from college for vacation. And once he came back, we are all busy. He is such a party person. He NEEDS to go somewhere every day. He can’t stay home, he loves to shop. I wonder if there is a girl inside of him because I never seen a guy who likes to shop like my brother. First place we went to as a family once he came back, was Las Vegas. I didn’t want to go. Las Vegas wasn’t that interesting to me because first, it’s hot as heck there, and second, me and my brother were underage and our parents are over 21, so they can do whatever they want. underage so we basically can’t do anything. We came back to Los Angeles after 3 days and my brother took my cousin and I to Disneyland. Unfortunately, my brother had to go back to college after two weeks. It kind of sucks because he is going to be busy and I don’t know when the next time he will come back and visit.

 

I was tired of reading. I don’t even know how recent this entry is. I don’t even know what today’s date is.

Am I sure I will remember anything? I feel like this is just going to waste my time.

I spent the next couple of days resting, sleeping, eating, and staring. I basically had a pointless life. I wanted something to do. I wanted a goal to succeed. I wanted someone to visit be, someone who I actually know or remember.

The hospital door opened. Yes! A person to have a conversation with!

Just kidding. It was my mom, again.

 

“Mom, why are you always here. You don’t need to come here, it’s not like you actually care, stop acting like you do.”

 

She looked at me, frozen.

 

“Elly, you remember something?”

 

“What? No. And I still don’t believe you are my mom.”

 

“But that was how you acted towards me before.”

 

“Instead of you coming, I rather have Eric” I dialed his number. “Eric, instead of mom coming, can you please come, I’m begging, I rather have you come and visit.”

 

“Elly, can you please calm down; I don’t understand why you are acting like this.”

I started to feel crazy.

“I TOLD YOU NOT TO COME ALL THE TIME. I AM A SICK PERSON. IF I WANT SOMETHING, I WILL TELL YOU. I know you are worried, I hope, but that doesn’t mean you can come every time. I don’t want to see you that much.”

 

There was a moment of silence.

 

She looked sad.

 

I felt l like went a little overboard. But I really didn’t want her to keep coming in. I don’t feel comfortable with her.

 

“Okay, I won’t come in again unless you need me to. But please calm down; you are not in the right condition to start yelling. What if one of your veins in your brain starts to malfunction?”

 

“Then whatever happens happens. I can’t control it.”

 

Maybe my attitude was too harsh.

 

She asked me “Do you want your dad to come in?”

 

“No. I don’t need you or dad unless I call.”

 

She gave me a slight nod.

 

My brother came in and took my mom out.

 

Thank goodness. I don’t need her to come in every time.

 

My brain started to hurt.  Even though I sounded like I wasn’t afraid of anything, I was actually afraid of dying. Argh.  My head feels heavy and light at the same time. Will there be a bittersweet memory coming in?

 

My brother came back in and saw that I was struggling with something.

 

“Elly! Are you okay?”

I covered my head and squealed. I don’t know what to do.

 

“Doctor! Doctor! My sister is having a problem!”

 

 

Just when a doctor came in, I started to feel numb and fell on the bed. Right before I fainted, at the corner of my eye, I saw my mom coming in following with the nurses.